"Luca?" I called.
I hesitated in my step. What if it was actually a total stranger?
The figure turned completely around this time and his full features came into view. Turns out I was right. It was Luca. He was sporting a gray hoodie and sweatpants as he leaned against the railing. He looked equally surprised to see me as he mouthed a slight "oh."
Stopping in front of him, I smiled a little, "I thought that was you. What are you doing here?"
He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes not quite meeting mine. If I didn't know any better, it almost seemed like he was nervous. Hah! Luca, nervous around me? I was probably imagining things.
"I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing. Are you.. okay now?" he asked as he accessed me from head to toe. I felt my heart rate speed up a little at his scrutiny.
"Yea, I just got discharged. Uh thanks for you know, carrying me to the car and whatnot," I mumbled, staring down at my hands. And whatnot?! God why couldn't I just thank him normally?!
He frowned a little, turning away and facing the street again. "You don't have to thank me. I was the one who said fucked up words to you and probably stressed you out so much in the first place."
He hung his head low before facing me. He had sorrow written all over his face and it was obvious he was being genuine. "I'm sorry Allison. I didn't mean to be so judgmental of you without knowing the full backstory. I admit I thought you were just a spoiled, ungrateful person at first, but... I understand what it's like to grow up Asian and feel like an outcast. I should have understood your actions the most out of everyone if anything."
He rested his arms on the railing, leaning forward a bit and staring at the buildings across the street. "I mean that's why you cheated right?"
The question hung in the air between us.
My jaw was still agape at his apology, but I gave a slight nod. Granted, it was not one of my proudest moments as I basically succumbed to my desperations for a good grade, but this was practically the most Luca has ever said to me and his acknowledgement that he understood my intentions made me feel valid. I didn't know what to do or say, other than blatantly stare at him like a dead fish.
Then I realized, wait, did he just call me ungrateful and spoiled?!
He took a deep breath before continuing, "And I was wrong about you. You genuinely care about your parents and the restaurant. Even to the point of passing out from the workload. I do have to respect you for that." He offered me one of his rare, soft smiles.
I hate to admit it, but my heart melted at his words. How could I stay mad at him, when he said all of that?
My lips curved up in a smirk I couldn't hold back. "Damn, I really had to almost die for you to admit all of that."
He laughed, a deep rumbling sound from his throat that was satisfying to my ears. "Nah, I was going to admit it eventually," he said, suddenly growing serious again as he looked at me.
My smile faded as the air between us grew tense. Not necessarily in a bad way, but something else I couldn't determine. Gone was Luca's usual annoyed look. Instead he simply just studied my face as if it were something he couldn't figure out. Why was he looking at me like.. that?
It was so subtle, but his dark brown eyes dropped to my lips. It was such a small movement that I would have missed it if I wasn't also staring at him. I held my breath, feeling my heartbeat pounding in my ears. Is it me or were we way closer than before?
He was so close, I could reach up and run my fingers through his soft hair.
"Liên!" called someone behind us. The weird moment between us broke. Luca and I both leaned away like we were caught doing something. Were we?
My parents were standing a few feet away from us. They had just left the building. "Liên, hurry up! Let's go home!" my mom beckoned. I don't think they recognized Luca from where they were standing. I cleared my throat before backing up slowly from Luca.
"Sorry I have to go," I said apologetically as I gave him a small wave. He looked as awkward as I was as he nodded stiffly, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"I'll see you maybe tomorrow then?" I asked. It was strange the way I had hopefulness in my tone.
"Yea, I'll see you around Allison. I'm glad that you're okay," said Luca. I was surprised to hear no usual sarcasm laced in his voice. I spared a single glance back as I was walking to the parking lot with my parents. He was still standing under the street lamp, his piercing gaze watching me go.
âââ¦ââ âââ¦ââ
Ah home sweet home, I thought as I finally arrived home with my parents. The hospital bed was so uncomfortable to lie in that I was practically dying to jump into my familiar comforter and blankets. I promised myself to never take my bed for granted ever again.
A hand landed on my shoulder as I was about to enter the doorway of my bedroom, causing me to come to a screeching stop. "Listen Liên, we thought about today and we think that you shouldn't work at the restaurant anymore," my dad sighed.
My mom was sitting at the dinner table, fixing herself a cup of tea as she gave a small nod in agreement. I drew back from his touch, looking at both of them in confusion. "Why?" I blurted immediately.
I was confused. This came out of no where. Was I doing a horrible job?
My dad stared at me with incredulity like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What do you mean why? It's too much stress for you."
"I thought you didn't want to work there. Shouldn't you be happy?" my mom inquired from the dinner table. Her tone was more curious than accusatory. I didn't blame my parents' confusion. I never showed any interest in their restaurant before all of this.
A long time ago she would have been right. I avoided being associated with the restaurant or anything part of Vietnamese culture in that matter, but after working there for a while, I started to not mind it as much. I got to smell the tasty aroma of phá» everyday and listen to the customers gossip in Vietnamese. I mean it's not like I understood much, but I was able to catch a few words there and there.
Working at the restaurant was an inconvenience to my school life I admit, but I couldn't just quit now. Not with the shortage of workers and when it was struggling so hard.
Standing up a little straighter, I looked at each of my parents in the eye before confidently stating, "No. I want to continue working there. Please."
My parents exchanged a long look before my dad turned back to me with a serious look on his face. "Are you sure you want this?"
"Yes, I want to help you guys," I pleaded. Oh god, please don't let them say no!
My parents' faces looked resigned as they realized there was no talking me out of this. "Okay fine, but that means going to sleep early. No staying up late. I don't want you passing out again," my mom said firmly, daggers shooting from her eyes.
A broad grin spread over my face as I clasped my hands together in happiness. "Thank you, I will!" I was not going to let them down. I wanted to prove to them that I was someone they could be proud of.
After I wished them a good night, I retreated into my bedroom and laid in bed for a good while, staring at the ceiling. I hope I made the right decision. Who was I doing this all for really?
I sighed, rolling over to my side in the darkness. My thoughts were running through my mind like an endless marathon with no finish line.
I thought about my parents and Luca. Their reasons for wanting to work made sense because it was their source of income, but I wondered what I got from all of this. My parents' acknowledgement that I wasn't a disappointment? A need to fit in with the Vietnamese community because I wasn't sure where I belonged?
I didn't know the full reasons, but I was determined to find out.