EVER SINCE CHRISTIAN had made an appearance at his door, William had a massive headache. His heart had raced at first. All he ever wanted was to return to his old life with his boyfriend of eight years, but as soon as he saw Orion lock himself inside his room, the exhilaration of his heart morphed from excitement to anxiety.
He really hoped Orion's problem wasn't what he thought it was.
"Okay," William sighed, "can you please just open the door?"
William had said the same sentence numerous times, but he had yet to receive a response. He couldn't help the tick of irritation that pressed down on his eyebrow as his fist wiggled and gripped the locked doorknob.
William pushed himself away from the door and stomped toward a nearby drawer with quick strides. He ripped the drawer open and dove his hand inside to look for a pair of keys. If Orion wouldn't let him in, then he would let himself in, because there was nothing William hated more than being ignored. Orion probably knew that by now.
As he clutched the key in his hands and headed towards the guest room door, he finally unlocked the barrier between him and Orion.
He burst inside. "Why did you-"
William's sentence stopped short as he stared at the glowing luminescence radiating across the room. His irritation dissipated, and his eyes widened. He had never seen Orion act like this in his house before.
Orion was there, but his back was turned and he was facing the window. The sight was extremely strange. His shirt was tossed away on the bed, and the top half of his body glowed. Although William was behind him, the flex of his back muscles out on display told him that Orion was crossing his arms, or maybe holding himself. His skin had a flickering tinge of a yellow neon glow to it, almost like how a golf ball would shine in glow-in-the-dark golf before you struck it away, never to be seen again.
William slowly walked toward him. This wasn't supposed to be difficult. He had stated what his goal was from the very start, but it was like something during these few weeks had changed. Something was nipping at his heart, but all William could remind himself was that there was no need to further complicate this situation.
William stood right behind Orion and lightly tapped his back, but as soon as his finger made contact with him, William recoiled his whole body away with a pained cry.
The contact of his finger and Orion's skin had burned him. William now understood why he had never seen Orion glow like this since the day he appeared to him on Earth.
Orion seemed to snap out of it at the man's cries of distress and his glow disappeared. William held his fingers with a fearful look in his eyes that Orion could not see.
"Sorry," Orion croaked without turning around, "that's why I took off my shirt. It can burn other things a little, but the warmth......helps me."
William took a deep breath, letting the burnt tip of his finger fall to his side as he remembered what he came in here for. "What's going on with you?"
When Orion turned around, it was clear that he had been crying. There were no fresh tears on his face, but the freckles scattered amongst the bridge of his nose seemed to have faded away amid the redness of his skin. His eyes were slightly open, almost like they were too swollen to blink, and the marks on his face told William that he had rubbed at his eyes a few times.
William's breath caught in his throat. "Why are you crying?" He said as he inched closer.
"I don't know." He smiled sadly. "I've never done that before. I've learned to do a lot of things here that I've never done before."
William's eyes widened with realization. Except, the realization he had was not correct.
"You're sad because you don't want to leave... you like being here on Earth.."
Orion shook his head.
"No, I like being here with you, Will."
William's breath hitched. He couldn't possibly mean...
"No," William suddenly looked away. "You don't. This is all my fault. You think you like me, because of how I treated you when I was missing Christian."
The laugh Orion released, was the saddest sound that William would ever hear. "No, I love you. I've always loved you."
"Orion, you haven't known me far too long enough to love me." William frowned, even though he knew that Orion was the same star shooting across the sky almost every time he went star-gazing. Watching him from afar.
"But you're the only person I've loved for far too long. You think I shot across the skies every time you were outside with Christian, for fun? It gets tiring, you know."
"But that's your job, you alwaysâ"
"No. It's not supposed to be as frequent. I only did it often because I saw you. I wanted you to wish me down here, to be with you."
William sighed in frustration as he sat down on the bed. The incessant headache that he had was like a forewarning that he had never noticed. The ache in his heart told him that something was wrong with Orion, and told him that he cared to know what was wrong with Orion. Now he knew the reason for Orion's distress, and it was like the ache in his heart and the headache in his temples only got worse.
"Orion..."
"He doesn't even like it when you make friends." Orion seethed. "I've heard him every damn time, 'Oh, you're too good for him', 'I'm all that you need', it's annoying because he wants to keep you away from everyone else yet tell you that you don't love anyone at all."
Orion continued, "I know that you're more than what he thinks you are. You do have a fun side to you. You aren't only consumed in your researchâ"
"Stop," William gripped his temples, "âjust stop."
" âI've been here! I've witnessed that! He just doesn't see this side of you because he refuses to acknowledge this side of you! He doesn't want to know you!"
William suddenly snapped. "I wish you would just go back to the sky, where you belong! We had an agreement, and it's been fulfilled! If this is because of the time I almost kissed you, I was not thinking straight!"
And the words had left his mouth far too quickly for him to take them back.
Orion's face dropped as his entire body began to glow and burn off the man-made clothes William gave him. Orion had told himself that he would be patient with William, but he knew that his time was thinning. And now, his attempt to gain more time with William by telling him the truth had caused his timer to hit zero.
"No, I-I didn't mean to offend you. I just wanted toâ"
Gold streaks of water spilled out of the corners of his eyes.
"No, I-It isn'tâ I do love you! Can't you see that? Don't deny my feelings please, at least just tell me whether or not you've ever felt a semblance of feelings for me!"
William's lips had turned into a thin line, as Orion continued to fade away. For some reason, William couldn't say it. He couldn't say that he felt nothing for Orion at all. The truth of his final wish was to avoid further complications and return to his old life. But it isn't that easy to pretend actions or feelings never occurred.
People like William often learn to love what they have lost, and try to dismiss what they have out of fear and insecurities.
A second before Orion finally faded away, his hand rose to rest on the left side of his chest. He couldn't speak at this point, but William knew what it meant. I love you, Orion had so blatantly motioned.
After the dismissal of Orion, William should have gone to call Christian and ask him to meet up. But instead, he stood dumbfounded. He should have been happy because he got what he wanted, but something inside of him told him that he had just screwed himself over.
Unfortunately mistakes are necessary to recognize how to fix things correctly.
It was now up to William to find all of his mistakes and correct them.
And the saddest thing is, it doesn't take William very long to figure out his mistakes.