"You were my lighthouse
when I was lost at sea
without you
I would never
have found me"
- Gemma Troy
One More Mistake
Chapter fifty-four
â± As I made my way towards Caine's room, I already had in mind of what I was going to tell him. He was going to be upset with me about not visiting him since the last time I ran off on him. I was going to tell him everything, I was finally going to fully open up to him.
I wanted to be honest with him.
Though, when I entered the room he wasn't there.
Caine was no where in sight when I walked in the room, it was empty. The bed was perfectly done, and all the machines that were holding Caine in place were now gone. All his belongings were gone as well but I've noticed the vase of roses. There was dry petals laying around it, and as I stood there, I felt a pit in my stomach.
My heart dropped when I realized what was happening.
I quickly grabbed my phone from my pocket before quickly dialing Caine's phone.
I paced around the room, waiting to hear his voice.
But it went to voicemail.
I called him again, and again, but he didn't respond to any of my calls.
"Thea, honey" when I looked up, I've seen Caine's mother, Marie. Her eyes shut as she forced a small smile form on her lips. She brought her hand up to her mouth, and I've noticed her fingers shaking.
"I tried calling Caine, he wouldn't pick up. Did they switch his room, again?" I asked, hoping that she'll tell me that he was just down the hall, waiting for me. I begged her with my eyes, to tell me what I wanted to hear.
Tears soon started to form on her eyes, and she took a step closer to me but I quickly took a step back.
I knew what she was about to tell me but I didn't want to hear it, nor think it.
"Thea.." she started as she tried to compose herself. She sighed heavily and she reached out her hands towards me.
"Come here" she said soothingly.
I hesitated before taking her hand. She pulled me into her chest and I didn't fight her off.
"Caine.." she tried to tell me but I don't think I was ready, but when was I ever going to be? When was someone going to be ready for this?
"Caine didn't switch rooms, he.." she tried to finish but she couldn't. When I've heard her low cries, I felt myself become tense.
"My baby, our Caine, won't be coming back to us because he's gone.." she finally let it out. She hugged me, tightly, but I stood there quietly.
In that moment, my brain wasn't able to process it. I mean, how could I? How could I ever process that Caine wasn't going to be living in the same universe as me? How I was supposed to process that I wasn't going to see Caine. How was I supposed to recognize that I wasn't going to see him smile nor laugh. Nor see him look at me with love that he only gave to me?
How could I ever process that shit?
If if did process it, it would make me feel completely empty and unloved. It would make me run away, far from here. I would shout at the world for taking away the only person who made me feel loved, who only gave me pure happiness.
This would destroy me if I let in the pain and I couldn't let that happen.
So I blocked it out, it's what I was best at.
"I'm so sorry for not letting you know sooner. You'll need someone by your side right now and I'm here, I'll take care of you" she said as she comforted me.
I pulled away and stared at her blankly.
"It's okay, I'll be okay" I reassured her but she stared at me concernedly. She wiped her eyes before lifting my head up to meet hers.
"It's okay to not be okay, just let it out. Everything that you hide in that heart of yours should be let out." She said as she placed her hand on chest, where my heart was rapidly beating.
"I'll be okay" I said again.
She didn't understand, I couldn't just let it out, I'll be completely broken by then.
She didn't believe me but didn't push any further and instead pulled out a white envelope from her purse.
She handed it to me, but I didn't take it.
"Caine wrote a letter for you, he wanted me to give it to you and he also wanted you to read it"
"Caine wrote it?" I asked even though she had already told me he did. She only nodded in response and waited for me to take it.
With trembling hands, I took the envelope.
"You can read it whenever you want," she said lowly.
This was the last thing he was ever going to give to me.
"You can visit me whenever you'll like, but please stay in touch." Marie said as she kissed my forehead and hugged me tight.
"Take care, honey" I nodded and before I knew it, she had walked away.
It wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair!
He deserved better then this ending. He deserved to live his life to the fullest rather than spend the last couple of months in this hospital. He deserved to follow his dreams, travel the world, meet tons of people, meet his soulmate along the way. He deserved so much better than the life he got and it wasn't fair.
Because just like that, he was gone, like he never existed.