Chapter 42

Chapter 42

ISABEL

“You know as much as I want to understand this, nothing seems to make sense to me. I mean he did that for the first time and now he’s doing it? Okay, he said he was jealous but still it’s funny.” Adeline said she placed her hand on her waist.

“I don’t know what to say. I just told him to give me some space. He can’t just act mad one minute and expect it to be alright because he explained his reasons for the action.” I complained,

“But still, I’d also go crazy if I see the lady I want but she hasn’t told me she wants me with her ex and also the father to her children. I mean he acted out but you can’t blame him, can your Adeline said.

“It seems you are trying to defend his actions,” I remarked.

“I am not trying to defend his actions okay? I am just stating that his reasons are valid. It’s jealousy and as much as you don’t see it that way, that’s just how it is. He was jealous and that’s normal. I’d be jealous too if I saw my man with another.”

I rolled my eyes at Adeline’s response.

“He can’t come off like that especially since I’m not his and besides he could have gone the other way about it but acting the way he did doesn’t justify,” I stated firmly.

“So what did you tell him?” She asked.

I told him I needed some space. I can’t deal with that. I can’t tolerate any of that at all. I can’t disturb my peace for him and besides I went through a lot yesterday. My feelings were all over the place and then he decided to act that way? I can tolerate all except that.” I remarked.

“Speaking of yesterday. You haven’t told me what it is that I should hear so kindly enlighten me what happened and what he did. Adeline said.

I haven’t told her much about Logan and how he found the twins. I just went straight to how Tim acted and how angry it made me.

“I don’t even know how but when I came home yesterday I saw that he was here and when I got to my kid’s room, he was there with the twins. They seemed to feel comfortable and were happy.” I explained, raking my hair with my fingers.

“Oh, my goodness. The art doesn’t seem normal. He came with some information or he wouldn’t find himself holding those kids,” Adeline said.

“Exactly my thoughts. He couldn’t just come into my house without having some information that gave him such audacity. He knew what he came for and he did get it. I was so pis sed and confused and how dare he try to blame me? He tried to make it seem like I was the problem and I had no right to keep has kids a secret from him.” Thinking about it only made me pis sed.

“So what does he want?”

“He said he wants a chance to get to know the kids.”

“And what was your response?”

“I told him no. Of course, I’m not just going to let him come into my life as if it’s something easy. He can’t just say he wants to be a part of the kid’s life when he denied me from telling him about the kids in the first place. I told him I needed time and space.

“Good. That’s what you should do because someone like him can’t have things their way. He can’t hurt you and thinks it’s

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Chapter 42

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fine to come back. That’s not acceptable at all. I don’t even know what’s wrong with him but that’s by the way. What about Tim?”

“Adeline please can we end the topic about Tim already? He’s someone I don’t just understand because he can’t be two faces. He can’t be hot and cold. He can’t be nice and s tupid the next minute and apologize like it’s nothing okay?”

“You can’t completely shut him off and besides why do I have a feeling because you don’t have much interest in him, you have decided that it would be best to just push him off. I mean you don’t even want to give him a chance. It’s like every little mistake he makes is enough for you to cancel it.”

“I don’t get you. You call it a little mistake? First, he displays some attitude that is unlike him and you call that a mistake? Who knows if those attitudes are the real him? He’s showing signs and you expect me to close my eyes and accept it? Oh, don’t be ridiculous!”

“It’s not a mistake if he said he was jealous. Being jealous is normal and that’s because he has feelings for you and seeing that you would go and be with your ex hurts you know so think from his perspective,” she defended.

“His perspective? How? Kindly enlighten me. He spoke to be rudely. Called me names and you expect me to look over that? Come on Adeline, you know you are taking this the other way round and why do I get the feeling you badly want me with Tim?”

“Wow!” She uttered.

“Just wow! Want you with Tim? Yes, I did. He is a good guy and as your best friend, I want the best for you is that a crime? I don’t even know what to say to you or how to deal with you.”

“You just have to admit that you aren’t ready for it. Just admit you don’t want to give the relationship a chance because of the past and you’d keep hurting yourself. Doing all of this won’t help you heal instead you are hurting yourself. You look for little reasons to cancel the poor boy and justify it and that’s wrong” She voiced out in anger.

“And you are healed? Before you talk about me then why don’t you talk about yourself? If you are healed as you claimed then why aren’t you making progress about your relationship? You run away from every guy you once got involved with and you suddenly have the right to talk?” I scoffed in disbelief but it was only then I knew I should have not said a word.

She was hurt and I could tell from the look in her eyes.

“You know what? You are right. We are both broken and we’ve both refused to get past it and move on but guess your case, you have someone willing to be with you with two kids and you want to ruin it?” She clicked her tongu

“I am the bad person for wanting the best for you and also wanting you to be happy. I am the bad friend for seeing that wants her friend and wanting it to work and that’s why I’m done having this conversation. You are free to do what is that you want to do, alright?” Adeline yelled.

She took her jacket from the couch and walked away, leaving me to drown in my guilt.

“F uck!” I cursed.

I had just literally made a man create issues between Adeline and I. We’ve never had issues before. Adeline and I have never spoken to each other this way before or hurt each other with our words.

She was right and all she wanted for me was the best. I keep saying I would try and make adjustments and give the relationship a chance but I just can’t. It wasn’t as easy as it should be. It’s easier said than done and I keep ruining it.

I don’t even know what to do or how to think at this moment. I just want to be happy. I just want my life to go back to how it was before I saw Logan again because all of this is because of him.

I walked to my room. I just wanted to sleep. I didn’t want to speak to anyone or think anymore because it was only hurting my brain. I wish the night didn’t end the way it did. Adeline is the only person who gets me and she wants the best for me.

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Chapter 42

I feel bad for hurting her. I feel bad for saying those words to her just to prove a point and I feel bad that we had to argue in the first place. The fact I felt bad didn’t make it easy for me.

My stomach churned. My heart burned and so I decided to take shower. I stripped off my clothes and took a shower.

After taking a long cold shower, I got dressed in my nightwear. I decided to go look at my kids once more before going to sleep.

Logan’s words resurfaced in my head as I stared at Ethan. He wants a part in the kid’s life. He has a right to be but I didn’t want him to be because I was scared that I might end up letting my guards down and letting him in.

A drop of tears slipped down my cheek. I have never had a good life. All my life I have been bullied and treated in the worst possible way. When I made Logan, I thought my life had changed.

He claimed me to be his and treated me well. I was head over heels for him and I was happy. I looked forward to many happy moments in our lives and also prayed for him.

I thought it would all be over. I dreamt of our future together as a family. I didn’t know my misfortune had only started and like a rock, it hit me hard.

I’m scared of letting those guards down and letfing him in because I doubt I’d be able to pick myself up when I’m hurt again. I’m scared of starting something with anyone.

I’m scared.

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