Chapter 0338

It's so overwhelming that I fear I'll drown in it.

God, how did Kent do this every day, year after year? He’s so much stronger than me.

I successfully evade Daniel all evening, but at night? When it’s just me, retiring to my bed alone?

He knows he has me trapped.

I kind of expect the tapping on my door when it comes. And in response, very immaturely, I quickly shut off my book light and

close my eyes, pretending that I’m asleep.

I hear a sigh outside my bedroom door before it creaks open. Inwardly, I curse the loss of the little lock that Kent put on my

bedroom door at his house. Why do I keep getting bedrooms without locks on the doors?

I keep my eyes closed so I can’t see what Daniel's doing, even though the light from the hallway spills in and changes the

darkness on the inside of my eyelids to a light orange-red.

“Fay,” Daniel sighs, and I sigh too, knowing I’m trapped. “I know you're not asleep. I saw your light go out.”

I open my eyes and stare at my wall, still unwilling to face him.

“Why won't you ask, Fay?” Daniel says quietly, closing the door behind him and coming to sit on the edge of my bed. “I mean — I

won't tell you anything if you don’t want to hear. But...why don’t you want to know?”

“Because,” I murmur, and a sudden hitch comes to my throat. Daniel inhales sharply and moves upward on the bed, sitting

behind me and putting a hand on my shoulder as I work to get ahold of myself.

“Because,” I say again, forcing myself to turn to steel, to be tough. Because — in all of this, I have to be tough, or it will all

collapse. “The point was that you got the hair, and you got him to agree to the plea deal. Any other information...doesn’t matter

right now, Daniel.”

“Doesn't it?” he murmurs, laying down behind me and starting to stroke my back in a comforting way. I close my eyes again.

“Doesn't it matter, if hearing that he’s okay will make you feel better?”

“But what if he’s not okay?” I whisper, terrified.

“Well then I won't tell you.”

“Well then your not telling me will tell me that he’s not okay!” I protest, and Daniel laughs. Then he stops stroking my back and

tugs on my shoulder, asking me to turn.

I do ask my husband asks, turning towards him in bed so that he can see the tears slipping down my cheeks. Daniel makes soft,

comforting, chiding noises — telling me that it will all be okay as he wipes the tears from my cheeks. But I just shake my head.

Because... mean, it’s probably not. I have this insane plan — and it’s probably not going to work — and it's probably going to get

us all arrested —

And I just have so many doubts about all of it about me, and whether or not I can pull this off, and — and whether it makes me a

bad person —

And a bad mother — to want to do all of this —

“Fay,” Daniel says, stern, making my eyes flash up to him. He places a soft hand on my cheek. “You've got to stop second-

guessing it.”

“I can’t,” I cry, shaking my head.

“What would Kent say?” he asks softly, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

“He'd tell me to let him do it,” I reply, laughing a little hystrically and wiping my running nose with the back of my hand.

“Well, yeah,” Daniel replies, laughing too. “But in this alternate universe — where Kent is in jail, and has agreed to take the plea

deal and let you do whatever the hell it is you’re planning. What would he say?”

“He'd say stop wasting time crying,” I sigh. “And get to work.”

“Yup,” Daniel says, nodding a little. “He’s a jerk that way.”

I laugh again, shaking my head.

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“Kent has never been big on

hesitation,” Daniel continues. “If

have a plan, and jtsaqbod Star? You

donit Gatlit done by constantly

rethinking it. So...” he shrugs. “Let's

do this thing. All right? We're all on

board.” Please read the original

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“Okay,” I whisper, closing my eyes again and nodding, letting myself trust Daniel's trust in me.

“Kent didn't want to do it,” Daniel

whispers, and I open my eyes, bitin ae

my lip and wantin he CG at bimCHe

tay e plea bargain,”

he says, ae then his lips quirk into a

smile, “was real pissed off about it, in

fact.” I laugh, imagining it, because of

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“He only agreed when he saw your handwriting,” Daniel continues. “He trusts you, Fay.

I take a deep breath, letting Kent’s faith bolster me as well.

Because if Kent and Daniel think I can do this?

Well... maybe I really can.