Chapter 58

Her Cold-Hearted Alpha Chapter 58

His Pain

ALEJANDRO

” I hope Kiara hasn’t been too much of a hassle . ” Elijah said . We had spent the last few hours

discussing my possible leads , what Fred and Indy had been able to find , and what else we had

gathered . I felt like we were getting somewhere , even if the steps were tiny . ” She’s been fine . ” I

said , taking a long drag on my cigarette . ” Hmm , that’s not like you . ” He remarked . I looked up at

him sharply , raising an eyebrow .

” What the fuck isn’t ? ” 11 ” Not complaining I hated how fucking smart this dickhead was . ” It’s been a

long fucking day , want me to start listing how fucking troublesome your girl’s been ? ” I remarked . ”

Maybe I’m looking too much into it . You two seem to be getting on a little better than I was expecting . ”

He said , rubbing his temples .

I didn’t react , focusing on keeping my heart steady . ” She’s helped out several patients . I can’t really

complain about that shit , can I ? ” Can I just say that I want to fuck her all the time and she messes

with my mind way fucking more than I’d ever admit ? ” True . The thing is , I have a lot more pups in my

pack . Also not as many warriors as this pack , although my wolves are trained well . ” ” Yeah , I saw

that much .

” I said . ” Your point ? ” He gave me a cocky smirk . ” Kiara . Can I leave her under your care then ? I

get that she attracts danger , but you need leads . Why not let them come to you ? I’m willing to send

my best men to help as well . ” ” I didn’t speak . I wanted to protect her . But * I kept messing with her ,

hurting her .

I couldn’t be with her , yet I couldn’t fucking stay away . How the hell do I explain that … ? She was

physically safer around me , but what about mentally ? So far , I was fucking her up and that shit wasn’t

good . However , I also knew I was the one who could protect her best … I nodded . ” Fine .

Callum would enjoy having her at the hospital . ” I said curtly . The reminder that even I ‘ enjoyed ‘

having her at the hospital returned to me … ” You sure you’re ok ? ” Elijah asked me and I hated the

fact he actually looked concerned . ” I’m fucking fine . ” No , I wasn’t , I felt like I had a storm of

emotions and conflict raging within me .

This morning he had asked me about my engagement and I had told him the plans – the security and

all . The only issue was , with the large influx of wolves coming for the mating ceremony we were going

to have a lot of people coming in and out . The risk of something sneaking in with them was higher .

We were holding the engagement at the same location as the mating ball , away from my pack , I was

not going to let hundreds of wolves into m y territory for them to get a good insight on my security .

Especially now with Kiara here , I wouldn’t risk her getting hurt . Kiara had become my weakness . For

her , I’d lay my own fucking life down , but I also didn’t want them to hurt her because of me .

Sure she was a target already , but still , things could be worse . I could lose my self – control and do

the same thing to her that I had done to my own mother . I had cared for her , loved her … but I still

killed her without an ounce of compassion . I couldn’t , wouldn’t , do the same to Kiara . I knew she was

made for me . The connection I felt for her …. The woman she was … I guess the moon goddess made

me wait because she was carving me a goddess herself … Perfection took time , and Kiara was the

epitome of perfection .

There was nothing I’d change about her … a ” I looked up and saw Elijah ” Alejandro . ” frowning . ” Are

you sure you’re ok ? ” He asked . ” Yeah , now fuck off . ” I grunted . He gave m ” You should head e a

glare and I stood up . back , I’m going for a run .

He nodded and we went our own ways . I just needed to let loose some of these emotions . I got home

after four am . I felt a little better having been able to release all my pent up frustration into running . I

mean , I wasn’t even in the mood for a fuck these days , well if it didn’t include Kiara anyway . I walked

down the hall , deciding I’d crash in my office . Despite everything being stripped in my room , I could

smell the blood and death that lingered .

I was in the process of having it repainted , re carpeted and with all new fucking furniture . I paused at

Kiara’s door , the smell of hazelnut chocolate lingered , calming me a little more . I couldn’t stop

wishing I could just walk in and hold her , that would surely calm me the fuck down . Fuck , I was going

in circles . Staying away was the plan , remember ? I was about to carry on when I froze .

The smell of Rayhan was strong here too now … My heart raced , my stomach sinking as I looked at

Kiara’s door .

Don’t . I couldn’t help myself , I turned the door handle slowly , my heart pounding faster than it ever

had before . Assuming something and actually seeing it were two very different fucking things . The

smell of sex , alcohol , sweat and Kiara’s arousal lingered in the air . The floor was scattered with

bottles but the only thing I could focus on was the couple tangled up on the bed under the sheets .

You know how you hear people say it hurts so fucking much that it becomes hard to breathe ? I never

got that , not until now . Seeing Kiara in bed with him … I ran hand through my hair . my Fuck . I

couldn’t focus on anything , the room suddenly became too small , my heart was squeezing fucking

painfully and the agony of the entire situation was killing me . I stepped back , my foot hit a bottle and I

saw Rayhan sit up sharply .

Our eyes met in the darkness . I don’t know what he saw on my face but the look of guilt that crossed

his own only hurt more . I hated having people see this shit side of me . He untangled Kiara from

himself , placing her arms down next to her and making to get out of the bed . ” Uncle- ” He began in a

whisper .

I shook my head , I couldn’t do this . I didn’t want to hear it . I turned and walked out . I fucking wanted

to claw my heart out and toss it aside . I needed to take this pain away . I walked swiftly to my bedroom

which was now partially empty and straight over to the window . I jumped out just as Rayhan ran into

my bedroom . ” Uncle , please listen ! ” He called . ” You have nothing to say I want to fucking hear . ” I

growled venomously . I didn’t stop ; I broke into a run and I was gone .

No one could catch me , not unless I wanted them to . With every heartbeat , every second that went

by , I couldn’t take the picture of Kiara out of my head . Her hair half covering her face , her arm around

Rayhan’s waist . His head resting on top of hers …

The marks that had littered her neck …

( TRIGGERING CONTENT – SLIGHT DISTRESSING SELF HARM AHEAD – PLEASE SKIP TO THE

END OF THE CHAPTER IF THIS CAN AFFECT YOU )

I made my way to the cells , straight to the fucking supply room where we kept the silver , wolfsbane

and other poisons . I once said I needed to feel the pain to feel alive . Right now , I needed to feel a

pain stronger than what was hurting me inside . A pain so strong that this shit inside didn’t hurt

anymore . I could feel an unfamiliar sting in my eyes as Kiara flashed before them .

Was this what heartbreak felt like ? I didn’t even know I had a heart … I roamed the shelves , picking

up one of the large gallons of wolfsbane that were used to fill small vials and uncapping it , I knocked

the disgusting liquid down in one breath . My entire insides were set ablaze ; the burning agony

consumed me . I just stood there , my chest still hurt . It wasn’t enough .

I pushed the bottles aside , not caring as they shattered on the ground , looking for the strongest

poison we had concocted for the Manangal and Wendigos . One … four … Seven vials later , I couldn’t

breathe at all . My head was screaming with agonising torment . The taste of blood now filled my mouth

as I coughed u p blood . Why wasn’t the pain going away ? No matter what I did … All I could see was

Kiara in bed .

I fell to my knees , clutching my head . It was my fucking fault … I had pushed her into that . I dropped

against the wall as blood trickled from my ear . I grabbed a few syringes that lay on the closest shelf , I

didn’t bother checking what they were as I injected myself with them . My body was screaming for relief

. Maybe I overdid it a little in pushing her away … I clutched my head , resting my elbows on my knees

.

I should be proud though , right ? I wanted her to move on and be happy … And she seemed to be

having enough fun . ” Congratulations Alejandro Mission accomplished . ” I told the empty room , my

voice hoarse from the burning poisons I had consumed .. But it still killed me , so fucking much …

Through the thick haze of pain and regret , what I felt for her shone through like the warm beacon of life

itself …. She was a woman I could never have .

One that I was far too fucked up to ever deserve … Yet I still loved her . Yeah , I said i t … Love .

Something I never knew I’d ever be able to feel again , but there was no other word I could use to

explain how I felt . Because of that love , I’d take all this pain every fucking day if it meant she was safe

and happy away from a toxic fucker like me .