Reiner - Will You Stay?

“The intended target was most probably Lucien; however, since your mother was driving his car, she took the hit instead of him and died as a result,” Reiner summarized emotionlessly.

“So, my mother shouldn’t have died…?” I asked as my mind reeled at the thought.

This was all so confusing for me. However, it was clear that Reiner didn’t intend to kill my mother. That didn’t bring her back though, and that didn’t fill in all those empty years without her by my side. I blinked as warm teardrops rolled down my cheeks. Quickly, I raised my hands to wipe my tears away but surprisingly, his hands beat me to it.

I could feel the warm heat from his fingertips as it glided gently on my cheeks to wipe away my tears. It was just a fleeting thought but at that moment, I thought that that was one of the gentlest touches that I have ever felt in my life.

Reiner, I wondered if he’d been feeling guilty about my mother’s death all this time. That must have been the reason why he came to serve the Rosenhalls. Was that also why he took care of me so well?

“If you’re here with me because you feel guilty about killing my mother, then I think you should leave. I don’t want you to be with me just because you feel guilty…” I said, surprised at how steady and clear I sounded.

Reiner was silent but I could tell that he was deep in thought. It looked like he was about to say something but then decided against it.

“Well, that’s what I think an openminded and kind girl would say but you see…I’m a very selfish girl. So, stay with me, R. I don’t care if it’s just because you feel guilty and you’re just being nice to me out of pity. If you really do feel responsible, then don’t you think you should take responsibility?” I said before smiling at him.

“Natalia…” he said my name in a whisper.

“Make it up to me, R. If you feel guilty, why don’t you stay by my side and make it up to me until all your guilt disappears?” I suggested gleefully.

Reiner’s eyes widened at my unexpected proposal. If he had thought that telling me these things would make me push him away, he couldn’t have been more mistaken. I could sense that Reiner deeply regretted my mother’s unfortunate death. It wasn’t that he wasn’t to blame but blaming him wouldn’t bring my mother back to life. I knew that better than anyone.

“I can’t do that,” Reiner said with certainty.

“Why not?” I challenged.

“My guilt may never disappear…” Reiner said softly and slowly.

“Then maybe you can stay with me forever,” I suggested happily.

Reiner was evidently stunned at what I just said. His reaction was quite amusing, and I couldn’t hold my laughter back as I started giggling at him. His stunned expression melted into a curious one as he watched my reaction. By the time that I had gotten a hold of myself, Reiner’s curious expression had transformed into a very stern and grim one.

“R…what are you thinking about?” I asked softly as I reached out a hand and held his.

His hand is so large and warm. How my small hand fitted in his felt so safe and secure that I didn’t want to let go. I wished that we could hold hands like this forever. Reiner was silent for a moment, and I waited patiently to hear him out.

“What kind of life would you have if you’re with me?” Reiner said and I knew that it wasn’t really a question.

After a while of thought, I decided to answer him anyways.

“Hmm…a very happy one?” I said before smiling brightly at him.

That was what I honestly believed. I didn’t know much about him or what kind of life he led. That also meant that I didn’t know what life with him would really be like. However, I was sure that if we were together, I’d be extremely happy and satisfied regardless of everything else.

“You’re too optimistic. Go to sleep,” Reiner said curtly.

“Will you be here when I wake up?” I asked, honestly fearing that he would be gone the next time that I opened my eyes.

“I will be,” Reiner replied before reaching out a hand to pat my head.

I sighed with relief before I closed my eyes.

“One day, you’re going to fall madly in love with me…” I said before a small smile touched my lips.

I heard Reiner let out a loud and long sigh at my words, but he didn’t say anything in response. Well, at least he didn’t deny it or completely rebuke the idea. Slowly, I drifted off into sleep. In my dreams, I saw my mother and she seemed very content with life.

…

I woke up the next morning not knowing that my life was about to take a sharp turn. Unbeknownst to me, my body and mind must have been completely exhausted because I slept for a very long time.

When I stirred in bed, I could hear soft sounds of people walking along the hallway outside. That made me remember that I was still in the hospital.

“R…” I called his name in a whisper as I struggled to open my heavy-lidded eyes.

The room felt completely silent and when I opened my eyes, I quickly realized that I was alone in my room. Where did Reiner go off to so early in the morning?

Thinking that he probably went out to buy something, I decided to stay in bed while I waited for his return. As the clock ticked by, a sense of anxiety started to grow in the pit of my stomach. It wasn’t unusual for Reiner to go out but usually he wouldn’t leave me alone like this in the hospital. Reaching for my phone, I saw that he didn’t call or leave a message about where he was going.

What’s the point of over thinking? He told me that he’d be here when I woke up…

As I fidgeted around with my phone in my hand, I decided to give him a call. I can’t even begin to describe how nervous and on-edge I felt as I waited for the line to connect.

--To be continued…