A Reveal at Dinner

BECCA

The dinner lasted until almost midnight. I was proud of myself. I hadn’t looked at Logan even once.

Well, he tried to catch my attention, but fortunately, Liam was there for me. At moments like this, he asked about adding wine or suggesting dishes to try. He was a lifesaver for me. Kelly was chatting with Jason, and soon I started hearing them flirt.

Now, I was going back to the house in Liam’s company, but when I was ready to come inside, he stopped.

“You aren’t coming?”

“Actually, no. I live in the guest house, and John is staying with me tonight. It's a tradition not to see the bride before the wedding, you know. They decided to follow it.”

“Okay.” I stepped towards him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for tonight.”

“I was happy to be your knight in shining armor.” We both laughed, and I shook my head at his joke.

“Goodnight, Liam.”

“Goodnight, Rebecca.”

I said goodbye to Kelly and Jason, and to Lily as she started climbing the stairs to her room. Mr. and Mrs. Dencen had left us a long time ago. I thought I saw Riley sneaking into the room near Kelly’s, but I wasn’t sure. Since their return, I haven’t paid any attention to either of them.

I walked into my room and closed the door behind me. I needed to remove my makeup, brush my teeth, and comb my hair.

I didn’t want Logan to see me in my silky nightgown, so I just went to the bathroom in my dress, only taking off my heels. I had time to take care of my face and hair before I heard the knock on the bathroom door. At least he could be respectful.

“Come in. I'm almost done,” I called out to Logan and started brushing my teeth. He opened the door immediately. He was bare-chested, but still in his trousers and barefoot.

The understanding that I had with him wasn’t going anywhere. He could sense my mood and knew when it was better to stay silent. Logan came closer and washed his face while I finished brushing my teeth. I put my toothbrush on the countertop and turned around to walk back to my room.

“Not even a word? Not wishing me goodnight? What did I do to deserve that?”

I turned back to face him. Logan was standing near the countertop with his arms folded over his chest. It felt as if he was blaming me for something, while the whole reason for my behavior was within him.

“I hope that you’re joking,” I muttered.

“Do I look like a clown to you?”

“Let me think about it, Logan…” I put my index finger on my lips and tapped on it thoughtfully. “Yeah, you do.”

“Rebecca…” His voice growled. “I don’t deserve this treatment.”

“And I don’t deserve to witness your sex life for the second time in two nights in a row! Yesterday, you forgot to close the door, and I stumbled in on you two. Tonight, you brought Riley to your room when I was still here! I heard everything!”

“Apparently not everything. I rejected her and wasted a good amount of time trying to knock that information into Riley’s head.”

“Oh, please! As if I’m going to believe it.” I turned around and strode straight to my room. I pushed the door to close, but Logan stepped inside, preventing me from doing it. “What?”

“Do you know why I came to my room in the first place?! Because I followed you! I knew where you went, and I fucking followed you like a lost puppy! Is it my fault that she came after me?”

I stared at him. What if it was the truth? The most obvious answer would be “yes.” That’s why I was so shocked to discover them in his room. His behavior towards me today was way too sincere, even his kiss on my shoulder before the rehearsal was confirmation.

He cared about me, and I am sure as hell that he wanted me. So really, why would he want to sleep with Riley if he knew that in certain circumstances he could have me? Certainly, Rebecca, really? I was lying to myself because he could have me under any circumstances!

“Answer me, Rebecca. Is it my fault?”

“No.”

All that I needed to do was say the word. In a few steps, Logan was in front of me. He placed his hands on my waist and pulled me to him. I didn’t resist. I was utterly obeying him.

I felt so small near him and safe. I placed my palms on the back of his neck and pulled him to me, only to capture his lips with mine. Dear God, I wanted it so much! All of my thoughts and doubts disappeared. There were only the two of us, and the rest of the world didn’t exist anymore.

Logan’s hands slid to my butt, and he lifted the skirt of my dress, only to place them on my butt cheeks and squeeze them. Hard. Strangely, it gave a feeling of excitement, and I deepened the kiss even more.

I suspected that in the morning, my lips would be swollen, but I didn’t care. We were kissing like crazy without releasing each other, drowning in each other’s embrace. Our tongues were playing with one another, caressing and teasing, adding another wave of pleasure that went through my body.

Logan sucked on my tongue, and he finally broke our kiss, only to place his lips on my neck. I moaned, feeling his caress, and let my hands go all the way down from his neck to his shoulders, then to his chest.

I was exploring every muscle of his, every line of his perfect abs. Until I stumbled upon his scar. A sound escaped my lips, bringing back all the bad memories. How I worried about him. How I stayed by his side for a couple of hours every day while he was in the hospital.

“What is it, babe?” Logan leaned away to look at me.

“It’s just… I remembered what happened in your final year of college and this…” I ran my fingertips over the line of his scar.

“Yeah, but you know, it was a really good lesson. It helped me understand that I could easily screw up my whole life by just making one stupid decision.”

“God, when I saw you for the first time, I was so scared for you…”

“You took care of me very well, all of my friends did… But I was always secretly hoping that you would come alone, without Drew…”

“While you were in the hospital, I spent almost all my free time with you. I honestly didn’t even think twice about where to go - to Drew or you.”

“If you think that he wasn’t bothered by it, you’re completely wrong. He always talked about it, making light of the situation, but it wasn’t easy for him. Trust me. He was always jealous of me, of Chase, of your classmates. Fuck, he was jealous of Kate and Lily.”

“Well, I knew about Chase. We were always fighting because of him…” I stared at Logan. How did we go from this passionate moment we just shared to this? “Logan, honestly, I don’t want to talk about our past anymore. At all.”

“Okay.” The next thing I knew, he lifted me and took a few steps forward, only to put me on the bed, stepping back immediately. I sat and looked at him.

“And what now?” I licked my lips. My heartbeat quickened, and I was going nuts.

“I don’t know, Rebecca. I want you, but I am not sure that it’s a good idea.”

“Why?”

Because it will make everything difficult. Because having sex with the person you couldn’t resist at all is wrong. And because it will end as soon as the wedding is over and with him, that’s not what I want to happen. I could easily make a list of all the wrong reasons, but I couldn’t. Just no.

“Because I had spent a damned eternity trying to erase you from my life, to empty my mind from thoughts about you and my heart from feelings for you. And I…” Logan hid his face in his palms. What was he going to say? “No, Rebecca, I am sorry, but I can’t.”

What did I feel at that moment? As if I were thrown underwater. Total silence and only the beating of my heart was vibrating in my ears.

I even felt the vein in my neck pulsating painfully. It was the second time in one day that I shared the craziest moment I had in a couple of years with him, and it only led to total frustration.

“If that’s what you want…” I left those words lingering between us. Logan only shook his head. “Goodnight then, Logan.”

“Goodnight, Rebecca.”

Again, he didn’t move an inch. Just standing there and staring me in the eyes. It was like all those years ago.

He and I were both confused by this insane attraction. It wasn’t normal because I had no willpower when it came to Logan. After all this time, other people, different states, different lifestyles, it was there and probably wouldn’t go anywhere.

Logan turned around and walked back to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Only when I heard the sound of running water did I start moving.

Before that, I was sitting still, too tense to move even an inch. Unlike me, Logan was able to resist this pull when he wanted. Fuck, why was I that desperate?!

I stood up and went to my bag, taking off my dress on my way. I placed it back in my suitcase and found my nightgown. It was red and silky, a gift from Cody, and I loved it.

I changed into it and went back to my bed. The water was still running. He was probably taking a bath. This thought brought an image of a very naked Logan to my mind. Damn him!

I plopped myself down on the bed and hid under the blanket, trying to muffle the sounds. I needed to pull myself together. I was 26 years old, and I was a fucking adult!

I was independent and self-confident. I knew that men often were interested in me, I knew that I was beautiful and my figure was sexy. I always got a lot of attention and knew my ways with men and then some. The only exception to that was Logan Jones.

I had no idea how to act with him. Most importantly, why was I so attracted to him? Yes, he’s gorgeous and unbelievably hot. Indeed, he’s not the only man in my life who looked sexy and stunning.

Drew, for example, or Cody. But he’s the only one I feel as if my mind shuts down while being near him. It was so stupid!

I tossed and turned for almost an hour. The water stopped a long time ago. Logan was in his room and probably already asleep. He always fell asleep fast.

I remember one day when I went to the hospital late in the evening. I spent three hours with him, just talking and laughing. He started yawning, and I said that it was probably time for me to say goodbye to him.

He tried to object, saying that I could stay for a little while. Uh-huh, yeah, when I returned from the bathroom, he was already asleep. And that wasn’t the first time that had happened.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Logan made the right decision walking away from me. It was safer like that. More reasonable. More sensible. And more painful…

Because his kisses gave me an understanding of what was buried deep down in my mind. I had loved Logan Jones for a long time, even when I was dating Drew, when I was living in Miami and dating Andrew and then Cody.

Even now, I love him. Because he is fucking perfection, my soulmate, and my ideal match. I ruined all of my chances when I decided to shut him out after I found Drew in bed with another girl.

I was able to forgive Drew, continuing to message with him, while ignoring Logan. He didn’t deserve that. Fuck, what have I done?