Chapter 15

Chapter 15

“Mommy…. Mommy…“.

I hugged my son as he came to me running. He was crying after seeing me. I felt relieved and relaxed when I took him into my arms after days. It feels… it feels as if I have won the whole world back again. I buried my face against his n*eck and inhaled his sweetest scent. I failed to hold my tears. Tears flooded out from my eyes without stopping. I didn’t even think about anything when I was hugging my baby. Finally… finally he’s in my arms again. I was almost dead without seeing him. and feeling him. My baby…

“Mommy is here… my love” I mumbled, k*ssing his head..

His tiny arms are wrapped around my n*eck. Slowly he moved his face looking at me. I couldn’t help but smile seeing his beautiful and cute face. How adorable my son is. As I looked into his beautiful blue eyes which were glowing, my heart suddenly began to ache. I was so happy when I came but now I feel terrified. It reminds me of Lucias‘ face. I clenched my jaws and hugged my baby again tightly trying not to think about Lucias.

“Emily…. You are here.”

to escape, I’m finally here. I smiled…

I looked at Jerral who rushed towards me. Ues… I’m finally here. After struggling for days and trying His eyes remained on me for a moment and then began to scan the surroundings as if he was looking for someone else. I knew who he was looking for. He was looking for Lucias but Lucias is not with me anymore. It burned my heart to think about it but I ignored the feeling once again.

“Did…. you run away?” Jerral’s question wasn’t a surprise for me. I bit my lower l*p and walked into the house as he led me in. How can I answer this? I didn’t answer his question. I just wanted to be alone and relaxed for a while.

“Can we talk about this later? Please?” I asked him. He sighed and nodded. He moved his hand and caressed my face but I instantly dodged his touch without even realizing. His actions froze. He stared at me for a while and then turned to leave with a small smile. Everything became so complicated and difficult. I watched him leaving before entering my room with regret and pain filled heart.

“Mommy…” my baby again hugged me as I sat on the bed.

He must have missed me so much. I don’t know how he spent his days without me.

know that Jerral and his mother must have treated him very welland

care of him but without me my baby must have been crying. My heart burned when I thought about it. “Mommy is here for you, darling.. Mommy will be with you all the time” I patted his back.

I layed on the bed and stared at the ceiling above me while my son was on my b*dy. He’s slowly falling asleep. I waited until he fell asleep completely. Then, I put him on the bed gently without waking him up and went into the washroom. I wanted to grab a shower. Entering the washroom, I had a warm bath and changed. into the bathrobe. But I stopped looking at myself through the mirror. Why does it feel so empty? I’m hurt… I’m hurt. Tears dripped down through my face as I stared at my own reflection. I couldn’t help but think about Lucias.

‘Stop thinking… please!”

I begged myself to leave the washroom. I changed into a dress and got onto the bed. I still failed to stop my eyes from shedding tears. I closed my eyes and embraced my son. I need to have a good sleep now. I hope I will be able to recover at least a little bit after a good sleep with my son. I was craving for this. I was dying to see my baby ever since Lucias took me away and now I’m with my son so I should be happy and forget about Lucias and move forward with my life.

“So, you mean you don’t need me? Don’t need me to become our baby’s dad? Do you really hate me that much?”

“Yes… that’s what I meant! I don’t need you Lucias! Just go away and be with your wife. If you need a child she will give you! Mine is not yours!”

“IL”

“Okay… Okay then… you can leave. I’ll… ask Derek… to take you back”

“I just.. looked for you everywhere after you left. Wish I could’ve found you earlier… I’m sorry… if you disgust me this much… I’m not forcing you to be with me. People change, aren’t they?”

A sob escaped from me as my mind stubbornly recalled the conversation I had with Lucias at last. I couldn’t forget the pain in his eyes as he spoke. He completely broke down. His hands trembled and he just utterly became pale. But he still waited for me to say something. He still wished I would say something nicer to him. However, I said nothing which made him walk away from me. He simply left and I didn’t even see him when Derek took me here. I don’t know where he left and I didn’t even ask Derek because my heart was throbbing,

cried and cried thinking about us. We could’ve been a happy family but he ruined it. He did everything.. if I was with him, if he didn’t reject me, this baby

Chapter 15

would have already been calling him daddy. He lost us. He just abandoned us. But why is he trying to get into our lives again? I don’t understand. I know he can’t be with us again although I accepted him. He’s married… he has a wife and how can he even deal with it? He can’t do anything! He has already chosen his life where I

was not present.

I used my

hands to wipe the tears. This shouldn’t be happening. Why am I sad now? Deep inside of my heart, I need him. I need Lucias because I still love him so much but I know we are already impossible. Although I love him and want him back my heart isn’t ready to accept him already because we are afraid of getting. hurt again.

I know one thing and it is that if he ever hurts me again and gives me the same pain I had, I won’t be able to live any longer. His rejection almost killed me and I survived it so hard so the second time won’t spare me. And I don’t want to die. because I’m a mother to a little boy. I have to take care of my child.

But still… Still my heart is aching because of everything. I clearly saw that he was hurt because of my words. I just can’t bring myself to forget about his expression. Did I do something wrong? I didn’t even let him say how he felt about it. I just didn’t let him say his opinions or feelings to me. I just simply jumped onto him and threw him away before he could even think about getting closer to me and my child. Now… I feel regret. I feel that I did something wrong and terrible.

‘Why are you crying thinking about all these things now? You pushed him away this time. I’m not blaming you Emilina, I know that we can’t trust him anymore but we could have listened to what he wanted to say.”

My wolf’s words hurt me even deeper. Of course I pushed him away this time. And I could’ve listened to what he had to say but… nothing will change right? His words. would only hurt me and that’s all. He’s a married man and he can’t be with us anymore. I don’t know what made him marry another woman after what he did to me but he’s married… that fact is enough for me to push him away.

‘He won’t be with us. He will again hurt us and leave. We don’t need to share what’s ours, do we?‘

Seeing Lucias with another woman was a nightmare to me but I experienced that nightmare and I even got to know they were married. I never wanted to share him. He was my mate and he was only mine but he still did that thing. He was aware that I didn’t like it when he was with other women. I was just possessive over him just like he was possessive towards me but he had destroyed everything.

I know. It’s good that you drew the line between us again. My wolf sounded

defeated.

She needs him. So am I! But we can’t do it. I took a deep breath and then let it out as I decided not to think about it anymore. I will face anything that happens in the future. There’s no need to worry about everything now. With that thought in my head, I closed my eyes to sleep. I really need this sleep but before I could even fall asleep, I felt Luan waking up.

“Mommy.. milk…” suddenly he moved his hands touching my breasts.

My heart tightened. I just couldn’t breastfeed him for days. It was all because of Lucias. He looked me up in a room as a crazy man. He was crazy! There’s no doubt about it. Changing his mood and behavior from time to time, he really acted crazy. I pulled my dress down and began to feed my child while closing my eyes. I don’t understand how things got complicated like this.

In the first place, we shouldn’t have met again. If I didn’t go to that wedding that night, I wouldn’t have met Lucis again and nothing would’ve happened like this. It all began because he saw me that day. But what’s the point of thinking about all these things now? No need to think. I’m back again… he let me go and I should be happy. I really didn’t want to be with him because of the betrayal I went through years ago because of him. So I should be happy now because I could hurt his feelings successfully.

He deserved to be hurt. He deserved all the pain he felt when I said I don’t want him to be my child’s dad. He earned all those things by himself. So he deserved it, therefore I should not be worried about it anymore.