Chapter Forty-Four

Short Chapter Ahead

Arron

I have made many mistakes in my life as we all have. Am I ashamed of some of the things I have done? Sure. Do I regret them? Absolutely not. Regret festers and it blinds you and it influences your decisions. Regret eats at your insides and doesn't stop, you die with it. You die from it. You rot in your regrets. I will not allow regret to kill me. So no, I do not have any regrets. I own my mistakes and I move on.

Perhaps the day I shook the hand of Alpha Lance Margois and sealed my fate -- my pack's fate -- to a world I didn't truly know much about is my biggest mistake.

But I am an alpha and a true alpha doesn't have regrets. A true alpha sees through what he started no matter how bad it is. A true alpha protects his pack. A true alpha can weigh the pros and cons and always find more pros than cons. There are times I find it hard to find more pros than cons in the shitty hand I dealt myself, but I have managed this far and I will manage even further. My pack relies on my ability to keep my mistakes at bay. It's just now, my mistakes have come to bite me in the ass and ask do you regret it now?

No.

"You let five escape?" Davis asks, eyes narrowing, "five?!"

I put a hand on my chest. "I didn't let them escape. They weren't mine to begin with."

"Yes, but you allowed it!" James adds, unnecessarily.

I fight the urge to scoff. James has done enough to piss me off recently. From intruding on my pack not once but twice to taking something that belongs to me.

Keira.

Goddess, why did he take her?

It was a deal when I became part of this shitfest that we would work together for the mission, that we would use and eradicate the world of omegas together, and that we wouldn't attack each others' packs – that movement between the partnered packs would be welcome, however, blatant disrespect and treachery would not. I have upheld my end of the deal, my play in this regime – I sent off all my male omegas so that there would be a constant flow from me to them. I have never not met my rather low quota and I have stayed quiet, refusing to answer any questions from people who aren't aware. I have served the mission well, I played my part better than most, and I kept my pack safe. James has not held up his deal. As a receiving pack, James does not reserve the right to take what he wants whenever he wants. He has to wait. Receiving packs are under stricter guidelines and perform darker tasks making them more likely to be scrutinized by The Elders – just three of the reasons as to why I couldn't be a receiver pack. I chose my role wisely and James chose his. Why he can't act right should never be my problem. My omegas don't even go to his pack -- that I know of. I send them off to a distribution center as it's easier and cleaner that way -- what Alpha Margois and his little clansmen do with them is none of my business.

James broke his deal when he entered my pack with malice.

So why the fuck are they angry with me when all of this is James's doing?

"We are all told to stay quiet and avoid questions. My beta – who left, by the way – would have done everything in his power to protect those omegas, matter of fact, he did do everything in his power. I couldn't send them all back, not with my beta trying to fuck one anyways. No, I figured what's five? I have sent off over forty males since my coronation and you're pissed at me?" I laugh, casting a look at James before looking back at Davis and the others behind him. "Forty. Do you know how hard it is to keep that a secret? To come up with some bullshit excuse to my pack who would never in a million years align with this kind of mindset? My beta is devoted to Goddess, he believes in some ridiculous omega-bullshit, he dickrides them any chance he gets. I did what I needed to do. James? He did not. Then he puts my pack on edge by trespassing. He has broken the rules and I have not, yet, I am in trouble?"

Their gazes shift between James and me. I know that we are too close in territory to be feuding like this, but there truly is no one to blame but him. I am an alpha and I take accountability where it's needed and he should do the same. I'll be damned if I get punished for his doing. My pack needs my protection and yes, I fucked up big time, but I've been digging myself out of this hole for years.

I don't hate omegas. I want to make that fact crystal clear. I don't despise them, I'm not disgusted by them – no, none of that. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time feeding into unorthodox mindsets, being promised great things – divine things – and odd but beneficial alliances at a young age. I can admit that when I was eighteen, I was stupid. I wanted to fit in. Bridger didn't want to fit in, he's stayed true to himself since the day he was born. Rigid in his beliefs, I have never seen that man waver for a second when it came to what he stands for. But me? Well, I was always trained to be an alpha. Forced to read The Alpha's Code front to back and back to front to the point of being able to recite it from memory, I didn't have time to develop my own set of beliefs when I was a pup. I didn't like Bridger and then I got friends that I desperately wanted to keep up with. They were from packs bigger than mine at the time, deeply blessed by The Elders. I saw the way they treated omegas and I listened to their filthy opinions and while I never shared that sentiment, I wanted my pack to be like theirs. Plus, male omegas always creeped me out anyway. I figured my hands would be clean if I just sent them away.

I didn't realize how bad these people were until I saw the conditions with my own eyes. Bridger had told me stories beforehand, but I figured he was just being dramatic – he does have a tendency to exaggerate. Then one day I went to a receiving pack for a meeting and saw a living skeleton of an omega.

"A true martyr!" someone had boasted.

I felt sick to my stomach.

I had to go through a great deal of cognitive dissonance after that. I even experimented with drugs to get the image out of my mind, to continue doing what I've been doing. I can't stop because my pack would be in danger.

Do I regret any of this?

No, no, no, no.

I tune back into the situation at hand when I hear my name being called. I look at Davis, his eyes narrowed and nostrils flared. He and James were arguing while I went internal for a second. I have been doing that too much.

Goddess, I need to sleep.

"How will you make up for this?" Davis asks. I sigh inwardly and stand to better face him. Apparently, this is my problem to fix.

"I have an idea."

— — —

Bridger is an organized man. We're alike in that way and that way only. Just like he knows how I function, I know exactly how he functions. He can't do anything without a plan and he has to have a tangible, easily accessible way to view that plan. He loves spreadsheets and other online documents for that reason. I have never complained about it, in fact, I quite enjoyed his need for documentation as it always made my life much easier.

Like now. Once again, Bridger is making my life much easier.

I chuckle in disbelief as I stare at the information on the screen in front of me. Bridger left in such haste that he completely forgot to clean out his office. Before I allowed Shaye to make herself comfortable in his old space, I told her that I needed to inspect his office. His shelves are empty which made me believe he had started planning to run away long before he did, but he forgot to do one important thing: factory reset his computer - where he keeps all of his information. All his neat, little plans.

I scroll through the emails he sent to Alpha Corzo Adiza, shaking my head and laughing as everything I need is presented neatly in a beautiful email thread. I knew Bridger was helping Kian start his own pack, he had told me that months ago. What I didn't know was that Kian was also receiving help from Corzo and angels - who famously do not get along with The Elders.

According to these emails, Bridger's omega is set to create an alliance with the angels. These emails aren't too recent, having stopped two months before Bridger left, but it's still enough information to give to James. Hopefully, this can change the direction of our "search" entirely and have him focus on a bigger prize: four omegas for the price of one. Not to mention, if they've already gone through with their mission and have begun adding more omegas to their population, this will be an absolute field day for James. He can get as many as he wants as long as he gives me back what's mine.

Perhaps, if I give Davis this information as well, my ties with them can finally come to an end. I can just send over this information, promising a goldmine for the price of breaking this "alliance". I have lost interest in this regime of martyrdom, I never truly wanted to be part of it anyway. I can't leave without endangering my own pack, but surely, if I put this "Oasis" on their radar, it will be enough to earn my freedom.

Of course, the boy could have already moved forward with the alliance which would have granted him some kind of protection by now, but it's no matter. Angels' powers are weak in comparison to other magic wielders. All I have to do is get James to agree to take these sitting ducks instead of searching for the other one and then cheerily go to The Elders. All we have to say is Bridger betrayed my pack, stole omegas from James, conspired against the peace, and is attempting to form alliances with a species known for stealing property from packs. The Elders will not like that.

I print the email thread. I saw Bridger's outline of his omega's training as well as his preparations for Shaye. I choose not to print those. They won't help my case. I need The Elders to be on my side for all of this to work. We'll promise as little bloodshed as possible as well as swear not to attack Corzo's pack. We'll swiftly barge onto the omega's land without being detected by Corzo's kappas and everything will end well. Bridger will get in trouble with The Elders for treason, the ballsy omegas will be returned where they belong, and my Keira will be so grateful that I saved her that she'll have no choice but to repay me somehow. And maybe, just maybe, I can breathe for the first time in years.

Smiling, I slide the papers into a folder and factory reset Bridger's computer. This was almost too easy, but I'll run with the belief that Goddess was on my side. I'm sure She understands my frustration and wants to see through with my success. All I want is the best for my pack and myself - once James and his idiots are off my land, Bridger is punished for his hypocrisy, and Keira is tucked soundly in my bed, life will be even better than it once was.

—

Word Count: 2055

This chapter is a little weird because I at first wrote Arron as a very scattered thinker to show drug use but then I was like 'no, I hate that' so I tried to fix it but now it reads like a Disney villain wiggling his fingers together as he schemes which I also hate.