Chapter 32 - Mik (Part 2)

Days turned into weeks. Mik continued to work with Sam on improving his strength. It was slow progress that frustrated Sam more than Mik. He started out by laying on his back on the bed and moving his arms and legs out at his sides while Mik would help him to sit up and lift his arms into the air and kick his feet out before him.

After a week, Sam was lifting his arms and legs into the air on his own with Mik there to help steady or catch him if he pushed himself too hard and fell over or lost balance.

After the second week, Sam was pushing himself up into a sitting position on the bed on his own. A few days after that, he was moving himself from the bed and onto the wheelchair. It was still a great strain for him to do, but he did it while Mik was there to catch him.

With his strength improving, Sam was regaining his confidence and it made Mik’s chest clench in pride.

Things were still tense between them. Sometimes Sam snapped at him to leave him alone, not to touch him or to go away because he couldn’t stand to look at him.

His words hurt, like a punch to the gut, but Mik understood that it wouldn’t be easy to forgive him. At those times, he granted him peace and quiet and went out to hunt.

At one point during the second week of January, Noodin came over at Sam’s request. Mik went out to hunt and give them space to work out their issues.

Sometimes he went to the cafeteria in the main pack house and observed the chefs working.

With his dreams behind him of leading the pack and taking out Noodin, he needed to figure out what to do with his life should he become a member of the pack. He knew he could be a warrior easily—fighting was in his blood, his very nature—but he wondered if maybe he wasn’t better suited for something else. Something that would not only put Noodin, Luna, and Sam’s minds at ease, but the entire pack’s as well. Whether he liked it or not, word had spread about him in the pack. Wary eyes from wolves he had never met cast his way in judgment. No one would trust him if he returned down a similar path of violence and destruction.

On the third day of observing the chefs working in the kitchen for an hour, he ran into Luna Aki and inclined his neck in submission.

“Mik! I wasn’t expecting to find you here.”

Mik kept his head bowed. “Sam needed space. Sometimes I come to watch.”

The head chef approached them with a large binder in her hands. “He’s been coming here recently to watch us work. He’s quiet, stays out of the way, asks a question here and there about what we’re preparing, but otherwise, we wouldn’t even notice he’s here.”

“So, what brings you in, Mik?” Luna Aki asked. The look in her eyes and the slight curve of her lips told him that she already suspected what he was up to.

“Considering my options. When Sam is well and returns to his work at the infirmary, I need something to do as well.”

She smiled. “Well, I’m glad to see you’re thinking about the future. Sam always said you were a good cook. This might be something you could do. You sure you don’t want to go into something more... physically demanding?”

“I was born to lead, not follow. I don’t think I can handle being given orders in battle as a warrior,” he replied, picking up the hint of what she wasn’t outright saying.

Her smile widened. “That’s true. Exploring your options sounds great right now.”

“Pardon me, Luna, but we don’t need another cook. We have plenty,” the head chef said, angling her head as if expecting to be reprimanded for her comment.

Luna Aki’s lip lifted in warning, not happy with the chef’s response. “Perhaps a hunter then?”

“It’s fine,” Mik replied, brushing off the rejection. “Maybe something else.”

He left, wondering if what the head chef said was true or if she simply didn’t trust him and didn’t want him working in her kitchen. He suspected the latter but didn’t care that much and didn’t want to cause more drama than he already had in his life. If that was the case, the head chef could always change her mind later.

Leaving the building, he set out to find something to bring home for dinner, wondering what else he could do with his life.

If he wasn’t a leader or a follower, what was he?

Another week past and Sam received a call on his phone while Mik was helping him exercise.

He lunged for his phone and almost fell out of the bed but Mik caught him. Dr. Waaban’s name lit up the screen. Snatching it with a quick swipe, he lifted it to his ear. “Is it time?”

“Yes. You’re welcome to come over if you wish, but you’ll be asked to sit outside in the waiting room,” Mik heard him answer.

“I’ll be there.” Sam hung up and squealed. “Heather’s pups are coming! Come on, let’s go! Let’s go!”

Mik couldn’t help but smile at Sam’s excitement. He’d been waiting weeks for the call. They knew that they’d probably have to wait outside, but Sam wanted to be there nonetheless.

Mik went outside to get the sled ready. Noodin lent it to them a couple of weeks ago for this very purpose. Mik took him out a few times on it as well so Sam could get out for a bit. He too was bored with being cooped up all day in the cabin.

Once Mik had the sled ready to go, he went back in to help Sam put his coat and boots on and carry him out. After securing him, he pulled the sled across the open snow-covered valley to the main pack houses in the middle. He stayed in his human form so he wouldn’t have to dress and undress multiple times. They had time. The pups wouldn’t arrive for several hours anyway.

When they arrived, Mik helped him into his wheelchair and set the sled aside. Sam’s excitement was contagious, bubbling over and spilling into Mik.

The nurse at the infirmary was the one Mik had hit on months ago and her schedule had been shifted so that he never came into contact with her again. She didn’t give Mik a second glance but led them to the waiting room down the main hallway. Someone must have said a few words to her or she held enough respect for Sam to know better. Either way, he didn’t give two fucks about her. She was a coworker to Sam and that was it.

“How’s she doing?” Sam asked her softly before she left them alone in the waiting room.

There were other wolves waiting there—most likely family members with small pups, eager to meet the new arrivals.

“Good. About five centimeters dilated. Not too much longer.”

Sam nodded, grinning broadly. He turned to Mik as the nurse left. “I can’t believe it’s finally time!”

“I know. I wish you could be in there with her like you wanted.” Guilt twisted within Mik.

Sam sighed, leaning back in his chair. “I know, but it is what it is.”

Mik fished the book they had been reading together out of their bag along with a container of grapes to snack on. Mik read in a low voice to him as they ate the fruit together, waiting for the news to be announced.

Time passed and they could hear Heather’s muffled screams of anguish from the delivery room down the hallway. Even the soundproofed walls weren’t enough to silence the agony of a mother wolf giving birth.

“And that’s why I’m glad I’m not female,” Sam mumbled, keeping his voice low.

Mik put the book away, unable to focus on reading now when it sounded like another creature was being tortured to death.

“Sometimes I wonder what my birth mother was like,” Sam murmured before heaving a sigh. “And then I remind myself that it doesn’t matter. If she had cared about me, she wouldn’t have left me to die.”

“I don’t remember my mother either,” Mik mumbled.

“Yeah?” Sam’s interest was piqued. “What happened to her? You mentioned your father but never your mother.”

Mik shrugged. “Not much to say. She died when I was two. I don’t even know what happened because my father wouldn’t tell me. He’d always beat me if I asked.”

“What?” Sam stared at him with widening eyes, his mouth falling open.

Mik shrugged. “It hurt him too much to talk about her.”

“That’s still no reason to beat you!” he whispered harshly.

“It was what it was.” Mik left it at that.

Sam closed his mouth and continued to stare at him, his brows furrowing as his face turned downward. “Do you ever wonder about her?”

“Sure. Nothing will bring her back though.”

“I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“That you don’t remember your mom and that your father beat you whenever you asked about her. That isn’t right. You were just a pup and missed her, I bet.”

“Yeah, well...” Mik swallowed, looking away, “nothing I can do about that now, is there?”

The first cries of a pup had everyone in the room stop what they were doing to hold their breaths and listen before Sam cried out in a seething whisper.

“It’s happening! Argh!” He buried his face in his hands before shaking his head. “Why? Why did I stand on the edge of that stupid cliff?”

“To free yourself from me,” Mik stated.

Sam pulled his hands from his face. “We’ve been over this! The fact is that I shouldn’t have been there! It was the stupidest, biggest mistake of my life! I wish I could go back in time and stop myself.”

“Me too,” Mik muttered. He reached for Sam’s hand and entwined their fingers. “I wish I could go back and see that I deserved this male and not throw his heart away.”

Warmth flushed Sam’s cheeks. “Yeah, well... We both fucked up.”

Another cry rang out from a second pup, drawing a whine to rise from Sam’s throat. “Dammit, I should be in there.”

“Someday, you will be for other females. Maybe Luna’s pup? Cameron’s? I’m sure they would love to have you there with them.”

Sam’s face fell into a calmer, contemplative expression. “True. That’s true. I need to get stronger. I need to get back into my studies and return to my training. Luna’s due date is coming up soon. I don’t have much time.”

“You can still study. Maybe not at the same intensity you were going at before because your physical therapy is still important, but it would keep you busy until you can return to the infirmary for hands-on training.”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded, his thoughts shifting focus now as he contemplated these insights. “There’s nothing to hold me back now. Only myself, right?”

Mik nodded. “Just like I need to find my purpose now. I can’t hold myself back. We both need to think about the future. Our future.”

“What does it look like to you?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know, but you’ll be a happy nurse. I know you will.”

Sam gave his hand a squeeze and leaned his head against Mik’s shoulder. “Thanks for believing in me.”

“I know you can do it. I see it in your face. If anyone can become a nurse, it’s you.”

A third cry rang out as Sam’s face grew hotter.

“And you’ll stand by my side?” he asked.

“Yes. You’re all I see now. Everything else is uncertain in my life, except you.”

Several minutes of silence passed but it was a comfortable silence. One of hand-holding with Sam’s head resting on Mik’s shoulder. Mik’s nose pressed to his thick black hair now a few inches long and in need of trimming.

“Two males and one female,” Eloise announced, coming into the room and smiling as everyone cheered.

She granted permissions for a few family members to see them in small groups before turning to Sam and Mik and apologizing that family members had the right to see the pups first

“Of course,” Sam agreed, though he couldn’t stop wiggling in his seat.

Eloise left with the group and silence fell in the room. The only sounds came from the family members talking boisterously in the hallway as they took turns visiting Heather and the new pups.

When they were done, Eloise returned and took Sam’s chair by the handles. “Your turn.”

She wheeled him out of the room with Mik on her heels. Heather was struggling to keep her eyes open with two pink pups asleep on her chest and the third in the father’s arms.

“They’re so tiny!” Sam softly squealed. “Can I hold one?”

“Got the strength for it?” Heather asked, her voice hoarse with exertion. “I know I don’t.”

“I bet you did great,” Sam assured her. “And I’d love a few minutes to hold one.”

One of the males on her chest was picked up and placed in Sam’s arms. Sam’s smile was wide, his eyes alight, as he held the small pup, sniffing his head and rubbing his nose in the soft brown hair at the top of his head.

He looked good with a pup in his arms. Sadness gripped Mik as he reflected on how they’d never be able to have one of their own.