Theo- road trip

i was surprised to find Alex outside my bedroom door, specially after the fight we had, I thought distance was going to help but it made it worse. i never wanted to be away from him.

"want to take a drive with me, i got to pick something up?" i nodded i didn't think it was going to be like the other "trips" we taken but i didn't want to be away form him.

"sure"

we made it to the outskirts of the borders, i haven't been here in a long time, not since my mom died. i was always afraid something was going to happen to me, that's why i trained so much. We got out of the truck to a old shed looking building, when we walked it i noticed all the hunting gear mainly for humans that enjoyed hunting. it was the best way for us and them to coexist in the woods.

"Leo" a older man shot up from behind the counter at the call of his voice  and smiled at Alex.

"Oh, my boy" I smiled at the older male that pulled Alex into a hug, Alex knew everyone in our territories, its his job. He was shorter than most but still taller than me, his hair was nearly white and pulled back in a pony tail at the base of his neck.

"Thank you for doing this in such short notice" Alex said as he pulled away, I followed behind them as we started walking through the back of his shop to the back yard. I gawked at the yard with dozens of deer, his job was to breed deer for wedding ceremonies. The couple after the wedding with complete their first hunt together, with wolves hunting is very personal we don't just do it for food we do as a passion.

"Anything for a young man in love " I turned away from the nature and looked at Alex who's back faced me. i smiled unable to contain it as I walked behind him, I didn't think he told anyone and I didn't know why I was so happy he did. I'll admit I was afraid of this, whatever this was, but I also loved it. Every bit, every moment and I think I love Alex even more. I've always loved him, he's my best friend but I think I fall in love a little more everyday.

I blushed at the absurd idea, I felt like a love-sick girl hoping he'll make all the moves but I'm tired of waiting. I'll tell him, ya, I'll tell him. I can break up with Helena I'll do it if he wants me.

I leaned forward getting closer to him glancing at his open hand, taunting me. I reached for the hand ready to feel his warm skin against my own but . . . like always something happened.

"So, how's the lucky bride to be?"

I couldn't move or breath, I thought he was talking about me but I was wrong. 100% wrong. I didn't feel anger like I usually did, I only felt sadness. I wanted it to me, I knew it should be me. but its not and it was never going to be me.

Alex stiffened, and I knew he felt shame for not telling me, and I'm not mad that he didn't. I never told him about my girlfriend, but its not like I'm marrying her.

"She's at home getting her dress ready" Alex voice soften and I felt bad he had to do this with me here, but I then wonder why did he bring me.

We make our way to a buck in the back, he was a beauty. White with dark spots covering his fur, bucks like this were rare, how much money is going into this wedding?

"Get a picture will you" he asked after he finished preparing the deer for travel, it was put in a large cage and placed in the back of Alex's truck.

"Or course " Alex responded closing the tailgate

The drive back was silent, I didn't want to speak first but after the dead silence i couldn't take it.

"You getting married " I said not a question, I hated people that avoided the elephant in the room.

"Yes I was going to tell you" he said, his hands gripped the wheel turning nearly white, anyone who looked at him would think he's fine but I've know him too long.

"When? after the wedding ?" It came out ruder than I wanted it too but every time I think of her I get angry. She's so amazing and everyone likes her, even Alex. She was smart and funny, and . . .

everything I wasn't.

"Theo I wasn't sure how you-" i hated how calm he was even more.

"Take it, you now sparing my feelings what about when you got a girlfriend huh" I said tightening my hold on the door trying to release the anger that boiled in my chest.

"Theo don't start with that you slept with every girl in town " I know that he right but im tired of him being right.

"Only one time " I of course had to defend myself.

"Your infuriating" he rebutted as he rolled his eyes. What I said next I knew I was going to regret but I couldn't control my mouth.

"At least I'm not a puss-" the brakes were slammed on and I went forward the seat belt tugging my chest.

"What did you just say ?" he was angry now, but i wasn't going to back down, alpha or not.

"want me to say it again?" I moved closer getting in his face witch he matched, he stared me down waiting for me to say it.

"you're a-" I was punch quickly and it knocked me out of the truck, I groaned felling the blood in my mouth. I took off the belt that broke from the seat throwing it. I looked back and noticed the passenger side door barley hung from the hinges. Alex didn't fight much but when he did he was a beast. Most people didn't know about it, not even his mother.

He exited is side and walked over to me but this time I was ready, when he was close enough I punched fast causing a crack to come from his nose. He recovered quickly and tackled me to the ground and started to pummel my face in. I took the opportunity to knee him and he rolled over groaning, I began to kick his sides till he swept my leg making me fall again. It went on for nearly 30 minutes till I was trapped with my arms over my head and Alex sitting on my chest, he was heavy that's for sure.

"This is getting nowhere it's dark and I'm hungry let's just go home" he was always the calm one, I loved and hated it at the same time. He balanced me out and I was scared I was going to lose him. He got off me offering him hand to my laying figure.

"No I have to know what happens with this " I slapped his hand away and sat up.

"What are you talking about ?" he looked annoyed probably thinking I wanted to fight some more.

"Us, what happens when your married." I said looking up at him through my hair that covered my face.

"I ca- I --We stop" he struggled to finds words at first.

"WHAT?"

"I'll have a wife Theo, I wouldn't do that to her" he said nearly yelling at me, I stood up pissed again. But i knew it was because I was hurt first.

"What about me ?" it sounded pretty selfish but he was mine first, he was my mate not hers.

"You said it yourself we can't make an heir we have to move on " my own words against me, it hurt to think I thought like that once, I forgot all about it. I thought it was going to be easy to end it with him but it's not. Didn't want it to end, but the end is already here.

"I just thought we'd have more time" i didn't mean for the words to come out but there was no taking it back

"I'm sorry" he said looking away, I didn't want to end it like this us fighting.

"Me too can we- just you know one last time" I got closer to him reaching for hand grabbing it in mine. He looked at our intertwined hands before looking up at me, I knew the pain his eyes, it reflect my own. We were giving up the one thing we were promised as werewolves, we were giving up our mate.

I was never a kisser, I was good at it sure, but it always made it personal. I never wanted to fall in love so I removed the chance of that, I even did it with Alex. But as I enjoyed the taste of his lips, I couldn't remember why.  i enjoyed it more than i ever have, it wasn't like before it was soft gentle. . .perfect.

i think we did more kissing than anything else but boy did i love kissing him.

the sun was just over rising when we stopped, i wanted to pull him closer and just be with him but as he pulled away all i saw on his face was guilt. i moved away from him and quickly got dressed trying to block out the thoughts telling me i was dirty  .  .  . guilty.

after we were both dressed Alex turned the truck on again and we started to head back, the ride was once again silent but twice as awkward. so i focused my eyes to the window watching the familiar sight of the trees and the rising sun taking its place in the sky. Then there was left turn and we darted off the familiar path.

"where are we going?:" i noticed the serious expression, unreadable.  then with one strong glance all he said was

"you'll see"