26 - Ranting and Waving

Ailsa

"My brother Alec and I would make bets on who could feed the most from a human in one night. It got quite competitive."

I'm leaning away from Fraser, fiddling with my glass of water, a little reluctant at his admission. His eyes go wide as he tries to explain away his appalling admission. I want to shrink away from him despite his good humor.

"You don't understand, sweet obe, we don't hurt humans when we feed on them. It was just a silly little game anyway. No damage done."

"So, it was a contest?" I murmur under my breath, my voice breathy and amazed.

Fraser nods exuberantly, his back pressed against the stone wall to my left. His side profile is illuminated by the flickering lantern, the shadow of it displayed perfectly on the back wall. His strong nose and beautiful, angular lips on full display for me to enjoy.

His dark chuckle sends shivers down my spine.

"Of sorts, yes. You have to remember that we were kids then. Scarcely 50 years old."

That bit of information has me sputtering.

"50 years!!" I demand, and Fraser is chuckling, grinning wickedly like he enjoys shocking me.

"That's right."

"And you call that being a kid. You must think I'm a toddler." That erases his humor, and it my turn to laugh. It's makes me wonder if he's as attracted to me as I am to him. "How old are you exactly?"

He scoffs, putting a hand to his chest in mock outrage.

"A gentleman never shares his age, it's inappropriate."

"I thought that only applies to ladies." I counter.

He pauses, thinking this over.

"A vampire never shares his age. How about that?"

I can't help laughing, rolling forward and leaning my forehead against one of the cold bars that separates us. I close my eyes for the briefest moments and see Fraser staring down at me in amazement, a smile on his face, his hand lifting to touch my chin with a whisper of his fingertip.

I clear my throat, not breaking contact but needing to fill the air with words to keep from focusing on the warmth of his touch and the anticipation it gives me.

"So, who won?"

Fraser blinks.

"What?"

I roll my eyes playfully.

"Your barbaric feeding contests, who won?" I press.

It's Fraser's turn to laugh, and it's a bark of a laugh that startles me.

"It depends who you ask, and it was not barbaric." He shakes his head, dropping his hand and looking away as he seems to grow far away in his eyes. "Alec would tell you I was the loser, but in reality he didn't want to face that I was more sly. His approach was much more direct. He liked knowing his prey, he found it more enjoyable. Somehow he thought that gave him more points or something."

I can tell from his voice that he misses his brother, and it sends a pang through my chest.

"Do you want to keep talking about him?" I murmur, and he nods once.

"He's my little brother. I watch after him. Our parents died when we were young, and I was all he had while I took over our clan. We've alway had each other, until now. To tell you the truth I feel guilty for being here."

Fraser wont look up from his palms.

"How can you say that? You're tortured in here, Fraser! Why on Earth, you stupid..."

My arms are flying as I yell at him, and before another word can part from my lips a hand clamp down on my mouth, clutching my chin to keep my jaw from opening at all.

He's dangerously close to me. Dark eyes boring into mine.

"I feel guilty because I think of you all the time, Ailsa. I don't want to be parted from you but I should be thinking of my family. I am enjoying my time here far too much. That is why I feel guilty." He explains lowly.

Fraser searches my face, waiting for an opportunity to release me when he's satisfied that I've stopped my ranting and waving.

I'm momentarily stunned and can't get a word out, even as he lets go of me.

He cares that much? About me?

No one has admitted to caring for me as much as Fraser just has. Gentry does every day with her actions, but never so directly.

"Are... are you sure?" I ask, voice as timid as I feel.

He nods, like it's that simple.

I sit for a moment, soaking in the new knowledge I listen to the insistent dripping of water from the ever leaking ceiling.

"Fraser. I need to tell you something." I begin, feeling my hands tremble and my feet grow cold as if my body is demanding that I keep silent.

But I can't. I've let him grow too fond of me without knowing how disappointing I really am.

"Alright." He encourages, and I twist my fingers into my dress, a nasty habit that leaves wrinkles all along the skirt.

"There's a reason my father doesn't love me, or even my mother. There's a reason my clan doesn't respect me." I sigh, pinching my bottom lip between my teeth. "I'm not right, Fraser. The physicians say I won't live past my 25th year. My ailment is too strong, I can't beat it."

I wait for him to snap, to call me weak or insufferable. The harsh words don't come.

I glance up at him carefully.

His eyebrows are scrunched up in concern, his jaw oddly tight and his muscles tight. He looks strained. His expression is contained, still.

I gulp, feeling safe enough to continue.

"I have a think with my lungs, a disease that makes me unable to do many things that other can do freely. Run, climb, chase. I had a borning childhood because what the other children could do easily would kill me just as easily." I sigh, shaking my head. "It's hard to explain the attacks. Sometimes it's lots of coughing, but most of the time I just can't get the air in my lungs. I've almost died several times. I'm running out of options."

I sniffle, hoping it doesn't sound like I'm on the verge of crying. I'm too used to my condition to shed tears over it.

"So I'm sure you can imagine why a marriage would kill me. I can't be... well I can't be a normal wife to anyone."

It's so silent that even the water ceases it's dripping.

"Does your father not care?" He asks, and I shrug.

"Sometimes I think he cares for me, but to marry me." I shake my head, running my finger along the cracks in the ground, pushing dirt and pebbles around in the dust filled creases. "To marry me off, well, I think it means that I'm not much more than a pawn to him. I'm not sure I ever was."

I want to stop, but it keeps spilling out of me like a river.

"He wanted a son. Instead he got me. He's trying to make use with what he was given, and I suppose I can't blame him for that."

"Can't blame him for that? Are you mad?" Fraser demand, the tone cutting.

I flinch as memories of his outburst flush over me anew.

"I know I've disappointed him. This is my chance to please him." I murmur.

Fraser slams a fist down against the stone ground, cracking rocks and sending shards flying.

"You can't believe that! I won't let you." He says, his voice still as sharp as a knife. "This clan has messed with your head, lass. A father should not force his daughter to marry, but especially when it will kill her. He's signing your death sentence, Ailsa. You can't stand around and let him do this."

"What else am I supposed to do?" I ask, feeling empty and devoid of hope or feeling. My heart is breaking, and I have to shut it off before it destroys me.

"Leave. Run away. Anywhere would be better than here!" Fraser crawls forward, grasping for my hands, his eyes pleading as he looks deeply into my soul. "This place will destroy you."

I scoff, shaking my head.

"I wouldn't be able to survive out there. Where would I go? How would I stay warm? I can't.. I can't consider that. Not anymore."

"So you used to then? And what, your father stamped out that hope?" He asks.

I take a deep breath, trying not to sigh.

"No, I did. I can barely survive here on my own. If I were to have an attack in the woods, alone in the cold it wouldn't end well. Although I suppose it wouldn't be bad to hurry up the inevitable."

Fraser cursed an unholy thing under his breath, his grasp on my hands becoming right.

"Don't say that, never say that." His hand climbs to palm my face. Heat flushes across my face, likely making my skin red and hot to the touch. His hand is large, his fingers brushing the back of my skull while his thumb glides across the bridge of my nose down to my lips and then resting on my chin.

"Don't give up, Ailsa. Never ever give up. You must promise you won't harm yourself or put yourself in danger. I couldn't stand the thought of it." He begs, and it has my heart stuttering to life.

I hold his hand in mine, choking back tears so that I can speak.

"How could I when it's you that asks me not to?"

I know I'm a failure for failing y'all last week, I'm sorry! This chapter got deleted as well as the next one, so I have been scrambling like mad to get this to you even by today. I'll have 2 chapters done soon

I love you all so much! Have a great day