Sidelined Love: Chapter 24

I need to stop staring at my phone. It’s doing nothing but getting me into trouble. I can’t take my eyes off it for longer than a few minutes because of Levi. We’ve been texting back and forth since we talked about what happened at Sapphire Tavern a couple of weeks ago, and tonight is the night I’m going over to his place to talk about what I envision for the event at Oak Terrace.

Well, first I have to make it through chess club. I press one of the buttons on the side of my phone and see another text from him.

I close out the application and notice that time is up for chess club. I quickly give off some last-minute tips and help everyone pack up the chessboards and pieces before I make my move to head out. The chime of the bell on top of Brewed Beginnings front door draws my attention as I open it before I look back at the people I am leaving behind.

“I’ll see everyone next week. Hope you have a good rest of your evening,” I say with a small wave as I walk out of the coffee shop for the second time today.

I notice Jeff’s skeptical look as I turn away and I bet he’s wondering why I’m in such a good mood. What he doesn’t know is I’ve been ready to walk out of here since the moment I arrived. Time has been ticking by at the pace of a snail, and I’ve never been happier to leave chess club since I joined.

Stepping out into the crisp air of the evening, I pull my coat tighter against my body to help me stay warm. I curse myself for not deciding to drive over to Levi’s as I watch my breath materialize in front of me. My reasoning is that Levi’s apartment is so close to Brewed Beginnings that walking there now almost feels like a death sentence. I know once we are done with whatever Levi has planned, I’m going to call an Uber to come pick me up because there is no way I’m walking home in this chill.

As I make my way to his apartment, my stomach flip-flops a little from excitement. I have no idea what is going to happen outside of Levi brushing me off slightly when I mentioned ordering take out.

My hand trembles slightly as I reach out to open the main door of the building that Levi gave me the address to. Already the outside of this place is much nicer than mine, but it’s also not surprising. He doesn’t live on Crestwood’s campus while I do, and that’s not to say that Crestwood’s grounds aren’t kept nice and well maintained.

I feel a flutter of nerves as I walk into the building and approach the front desk. My apartment on campus is nice, but this place is out of my league. The lobby is large and open with modern décor and bright lighting. Clearing my throat, the woman sitting at the front desk looks up at me with a warm smile.

“Hi, I’m here to see Levi Jamison. My name is Hailey Reed.” My voice gives away that I’m nervous as hell.

The attendant offers a polite nod before picking up the phone and clicking a few buttons. “Mr. Jamison, your guest, Ms. Reed, is here,” she announces.

After a brief pause, the attendant nods again before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. She stands up and gestures toward the elevator and says, “If you’ll follow me, please.”

As we walk, I’m trying to calm my nerves. They have nothing to do with where I currently am but everything to do with the man I’m about to see.

The elevator ride up to his floor is smooth and quick. The attendant leads me down a hallway where we stop at number 413. As she turns to leave, she offers me a reassuring smile. “Have a nice evening, Ms. Reed.” And just like that, she’s gone, leaving me alone in the quiet hallway.

Before I can knock on the door, it swings open. I’m greeted by Levi who is standing there in a white t-shirt, dark jeans, and bare feet.

“Welcome to Chez Jamison,” he says as he steps aside to let me in.

The apartment is warm, and scents of garlic and something else greet my nose as soon as I walk over the threshold. He’s set his dining room table for two and I stare at the candles flickering softly, creating a romantic mood. I’m thoroughly impressed. There’s no other word for it.

“I hope you’re hungry,” he says as he closes the door behind me and leads me further into his apartment.

“Starving,” I admit. “I forgot to eat lunch today and only had a protein bar while I was at the library studying.”

I shrug off my coat and drape it over the back of a chair and turn to Levi. “What are you making?” I ask.

“Butternut squash risotto.”

I do a double take. I don’t know what I was expecting him to say, but that wasn’t it. “I’ve never had that before but I’m excited to try it.”

“Great. It’s done. I’m keeping it warm.”

I follow Levi into the kitchen and ask, “Where did you learn how to cook?”

“Well, my roommate freshman year taught me a thing or two before he ended up transferring out of here to go to culinary school,” he says as he takes the lid off the pot.

For a moment I watch as he stirs the risotto, and the smell is amazing. I feel my stomach growl and am thankful that Levi doesn’t show any indication that he hears anything. I lean against the counter as he takes out two bowls and plates up our dinner. This all feels very domestic, for lack of a better description, and I’m not running for the hills… at least not yet.

We leave the kitchen and walk into the dining area, and Levi pulls out a chair for me. I thank him as he takes his seat opposite mine. “So, this is pretty fancy for us chatting about a chess event,” I start, picking up my fork and diving into the risotto.

Levi chuckles. “You mentioned this was starting to sound like a date, remember?”

“Right. How could I forget?” I take a bite of the risotto, and it’s like an explosion of autumn on my taste buds. “This is incredible, Levi.”

His smile widens as he watches me enjoying his cooking. “Thanks. Glad you like it,” he replies before taking a bite himself.

As we eat, our conversation drifts from classes to the latest hockey game. Levi recounts a play-by-play of the winning goal, and while he has to take some time to explain some of the concepts to me, he looks to be enjoying it.

Levi grabs his napkin and wipes his mouth before he says, “Hey, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“I don’t like the sound of this,” I reply, wondering what this can be about.

“I knew how to play chess before I asked you about it.”

I slam my hand down on the table, making it shake. The look in Levi’s eye tells me he’s worried I’m upset, but that isn’t the case at all. “I knew it! You were picking up on concepts super-fast. Not that it isn’t possible for someone to do that, but the chances of it happening are rare.”

Levi laughs so hard that I think it’s from relief that I’m not pissed at him. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tattered photograph, unfolding and placing it carefully on the table between us. It’s a picture of two young boys, one unmistakably Levi, with his brown hair and bright blue eyes, and the other, slightly taller with a similar build. They’re sitting at an old wooden chess table with a man standing near them.

“That’s my brother, Caleb,” he says softly, tapping the image of the other boy. “And our grandfather was there. Our grandfather was great at chess and taught us quite a bit before hockey took over our lives. Caleb and I used to play quite a bit and now it’s something we won’t ever be able to do again.”

I draw in a sharp breath because his tone tells me he’s been hurt. “What do you mean?”

“Caleb died a few years ago in a car accident.” I set my fork down and reach over to grab his hand. “I’m sorry,” I say. Although the words seem inadequate, I hope that they are helpful.

Levi shrugs, but I can tell it’s an attempt to brush off the sympathy. “Thanks. His accident… It changed everything. He was supposed to be the hockey star, you know? Had all this talent on ice. At least, more than I ever had.”

“But you’re amazing out there,” I say, even though I haven’t been able to see it for myself. If he’s the captain of the team, he must be talented and it’s something he needs to hear.

He shakes his head almost dismissively. “I worked twice as hard after he died; not for me, but because his dream was left unfinished, and I needed to complete it. Dad always pushed him the most, but with him gone…” Levi trails off and there’s a haunted look in his eyes that makes my chest tighten.

“It became all about you,” I finish for him.

“Yeah.” Levi exhales heavily and stares down at the crinkled photograph again. “I guess I didn’t want to disappoint him any further.”

“So, is playing hockey and now us playing chess together… Is that your way of staying connected to Caleb?”

He nods slowly but waits to respond. “Yeah, something like that. I knew hockey was, but I didn’t consider starting up chess again might also be. It’s a way to connect to both of you.”

“I get it,” I murmur after a moment. My mother may have left by choice, but abandonment and loss are connected in their own twisted way.

Levi looks up at me then. “You do?”

“Yeah. While I don’t understand what you’re going through exactly because I haven’t lived through it, we’ve both struggled with huge losses from those that were close to us.”

“I suppose we have,” he says. “It’s weird, isn’t it? How life just… goes on, even when yours feels like it’s stopped.”

I can’t agree more. “That’s probably the truest thing you’ve said all night.”

Levi pushes the photo aside. “So, your mom,” he starts, but then stops as if he’s thinking about how to word this. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

But I want to. Maybe it’s the way he’s opened up to me or how comfortable this makeshift date feels, but I find myself wanting to share more of me with him. “She left when I was still a kid,” I begin. “Just packed up one day when I was at school and Dad was at work. Dad tried to explain it to me in a million different ways, but I still don’t understand.”

“Hailey,” he whispers my name like it’s a secret he’s never told anyone before.

I move my hand that was holding his and grab my wineglass. I take a sip before I speak again. “I’m fine, really. I’ve had a long time to get used to it.” But as I say it, there’s a question forming silently in my mind: Am I really fine?

“We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” he says with a light chuckle that doesn’t quite hide his sadness.

“We are,” I agree. I snort and shake my head. “Look at us, we’re like two characters in some indie movie.”

“Yeah, but make it a sports romance,” he replies, matching my tone. “We have hockey, complex family drama, and a situationship of sorts that started out with you hating me to now just tolerating me.”

“I can’t stand you,” I say jokingly. “I don’t know if I should be flattered or worried that we’re ticking all the boxes of a cliché though.”

He leans back in his chair, folding his arms. “Oh really? So you do like me or something?”

“I thought we established this already. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. So what happens next in our cliché sports romance?”

Levi grins widely. “Well, if I had to guess… the star hockey player who’s hiding his pain behind his talent does something unexpected.”

“Oh?” I prompt him to continue.

“He takes a risk,” Levi says softly.

“And what risk would that be?”

It takes what feels like forever for him to respond. “Asking if I can kiss you right now.”

The words hang in the air between us, an unspoken challenge. I feel a familiar flutter in my stomach like the one I got just before he kissed me at Sapphire Tavern.

“Are you always this forward?” I ask.

“I told you I go after what I want, full stop. But only when it feels right, and with you, it does, Rook.”

I push my chair back to stand up and walk over to him. He looks up at me before joining me and pulling me toward him as his hands rest on my waist.

“We don’t have to—” he starts but stops when he sees me open my mouth.

“We do if you want to. Because I do.”

He towers over me slightly but bends down to meet me at eye level. His gaze softens just before our lips meet, and once they do, all bets are off. Our kiss deepens as everything fades away.

Right now, this is exactly where I’m meant to be.