Chapter 21

ROCCO:

I felt Wilson's shoulder thump against mine as he stormed past.

I spun around, glaring at his back. What the fuck was his problem?

Scoffing in disgust, I turned back around to the corridor. Everyone had been staring after him, whispering to each other.

The janitor's closet door was open, and after a moment, Sirena came out slowly. Her face was a mix of confusion and hurt, and she was blinking back tears hard. I avoided her eyes, wanting to give her some privacy but not sure exactly what she was doing in the janitor's closet.

Then something clicked, and I turned back slowly to look down the other corridor, which was now empty of Wilson.

Sirena was staring that way too.

How did they even know each other? Did - did they just like breakup or something? It was literally her first day at school.

I felt like what losers must feel like. Out of the loop. Out of the circles.

My body prickled over with anger.

Anger?

Why was I angry?

Jax and Sirena deserved each other - clearly they had already "broken up" or whatever - their overblown egos couldn't exist together.

I felt a sharp punch on my arm, and turned to see Rio and a bunch of other guys.

"Wuss good, my man, " he dapped me up, then leaned in close. "You going to Devin's tonight?"

"Who the fuck is Devin, " I muttered, still looking distractedly at Sirena.

"Poppy's boyfriend. He's loaded, man. He threw a rager a few months ago. He has a pool. "

"Who the fuck is Poppy."

Rio sighed and slapped me on the shoulder. "Never mind. You're coming though right?"

He looked around me to see what I was looking at. "Oh yeah, that Sirena girl. I saw Wilson and her making out. Ugh. " He shivered in disgust at the thought of Wilson.

"Hm?" I said. "Oh shit - yeah I'm coming. My last party before tourney. "

"That's my boy. " Rio and I fist-bumped and he pointed at my face as he walked away, the rest of the guys following him like a pack of dogs. "Bye, baby. "

I watched them go, then mentally face-palmed. I didn't feel like getting shit-faced this week, or hooking up with girls (wow, I wonder why), or any of the shit I usually did.

I sighed, and felt the exhaustion I had been fighting for a while - over my parents, over my sexuality, over having to be around people settle heavily on my shoulders.

I rubbed a hand over my face hard and started back down the corridor.

My steps were loud - the halls were empty now.

I was walking past an open classroom when I looked inside. My eyes widened and I doubled back.

It was an art classroom, and inside easels were set up at art stations. All the easels were empty, apart from one, to the left. The lights were off, and the room was lit by only a long slim window near the roof.

It was a charcoal drawing on a tan piece of paper, a large one. It was of a girl, her face upturned, her lips parted. Her hair was wild, as if she was standing in the middle of a storm. Her eyes had been scribbled out violently, as if by an angry child. The corners of her mouth drooped in despair. She wasn't pretty - she was very plain, with thin lips and a large forehead, but somehow she was almost - beautiful. The artist had rendered her beautiful and alluring in her mysteriousness. The angles and shading were harsh and sharp, formed with almost uncontrolled lines that seemed to form an image of their own accord. Like the artist had just randomly slashed at the paper with a piece of charcoal, and the girl had just accidentally appeared from the wilderness of the lines.

I hadn't noticed that I had drawn closer, until I was through the door. I glanced around the classroom, and behind me and the empty corridor. No one would notice if I went in.

In the silence, I moved closer to her. Now I could see the black dustiness of the charcoal over the smooth paper, and a few blackened faint finger prints. Up close, she was even more violently vivid. Like she was about to jump off the paper.

My eyes landed on a pile of tan paper, each piece smaller than the one the girl had been drawn on. Next to it was a small container, it's inside blackened by the small sticks of charcoal it held, each on a different size and length.

I glanced out the door again. Surely Ryan wouldn't miss me for one lunchtime. Something inside was pulling me towards that paper and those charcoal pieces.

Fuck it.

I dropped my bag off my shoulders to the floor, and went over to the table. I pulled out the chair and sat down next to the pile, taking the top piece off and grabbing a piece of charcoal, wincing as the dust immediately coated my fingers.

I set the piece of paper down in front of me, and stared at it, bouncing the charcoal in my hands. An idea began to form in my head.

Looking at the picture of the girl for reference, I began drawing, feeling the rasp of the unrefined charcoal on the paper.

With each line, the paper got darker and darker, and so did my forearms and hands. I quickly learnt to use the piece of charcoal on an angle, or on its side, pressing harder in some areas and softer in others.

The longer I worker, the more the image seemed to come to life, the more emotion was piled onto the page. My neck soon got tired of me looking up from the paper to the image of the girl.

Finally, I sat back, wiping my hands on each other, observing my work.

"Wow. " said a voice from beside me.

I jumped, heart going to my throat. "Jesus! I mean - um, sorry. I didn't see you there. "

It was a teacher, a familiar looking black middle aged woman with a slightly greying afro, her arms crossed, her eyes on my work.

"I didn't mean to startle you, " she said calmly, turning to look at me. "You don't take art, do you?"

"No, " I replied. "Sorry. I just - I don't know. "

"Oh, it's fine. That is really amazing work by the way. Really stunning - "

"Actual? " I asked, looking up at her.

"- For a beginner. "

"Oh. " I said, slumping back down.

"Well, you are a beginner, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah. "

She nodded. "Yes, your use of shading and highlights is not quite there, and your proportions aren't either. The eyes aren't detailed enough, and the blending in the jaw is not smooth enough. You could've also not made it sooo shadowy, if you are referencing the other image. "

I stayed where I was, not sure why that pissed me off and hurt at the same time.

"However, " she continued. "However. The emotion in this. And the concept. "

I looked at my picture again, letting a small smile grow on my face. I had drawn the same girl - same forehead, same lips. But it my image, it was "raining". Her hair was slick and plastered to her neck and back, dark liquid dripping from her downturned eyes. Where you could see a sliver of her eyes beneath her eyelids, I had replicated the child-like black scribble, spreading out horizontally and downwards, as if shadow was emanating from her eyes. Her mouth was parted slightly, unsmiling. Her face was turned away slightly - her posture defeated, compared to the proud way she held herself in the other image, dank hair falling in front of her face. The background in mine was darker, also, and I had added a sort of halo of darkness around her profile.

"Amazing, " the teacher murmured again, shaking her head. "Even though my students have technique, not many of them have vision, or creativity. "

Something swelled inside my chest. I had never been complimented on anything like that before. It was always you're so ripped, or you're a fucking good quarterback, or shit like that. I never been complimented on my thinking.

"Hey, Miss, " I paused. "Who drew that? "

I pointed to the girl on the easel.

"Me, " She said. "It's an example for my next class. "

I stared at her, astonished. She was the mystery artist?

"What's your name?" She asked.

"I'm Rocco."

"Ok, Rocco, I'm Ms Vaughn. Now, you probably don't want to pick up art now -  it's the middle of the year and you'll have to drop something to do it. But if you want - I run an art club every Tuesday after school. We do exercises and lessons, but mainly it is a chance for students to have freedom and access to all the materials at school. You should definitely come along. "

I stiffened. "Uh, not sure if - "

"Well, I'm sure. " She fixed me with a look. "I'm not letting you get away. "

I sighed, then nodded. "Sure, I'll try to make time. "

"Good. " She drew back just as the bell rang. "If you don't mind, I'm going to use your drawing as an example too. " She grabbed a can of hairspray and sprayed the whole surface of my work. She gave me a bright smile. "Off to your next class, Rocco. See you on Tuesday!"

--------

hey! if you like to help me continue writing you can now buy me a coffee ♥️

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/badbloom