Chapter 22

16K stfu!!!

Also DISCLAIMER:

I am not religious myself but I see a lot of the bxb/gxg books on here don't talk about religion and Christianity/Catholicism. Many many people around the world are actually christian and struggle with sexual identity because it goes against what their religion's values are. If books on here do talk about it, it is mostly the main gay character going "I renounce my religion because it doesn't support me being gay". That is totally fine, and they are completely within their rights to do that, but they don't discuss how difficult it is for many people to just renounce their religion. That religion is what they have grown up believing in, what their family has grown up believing in, and to just discard that whole part of their identity isn't so easy and black and white. I don't want Rocco to just lose that whole part of himself. He believes in God, and he is gay. I believe you can be both - firstly the bible doesn't even explicitly say "man cannot lie with man" it says "man cannot lie with boy". Even if some versions do say "man cannot lie with man", hasn't it been theorised or even proven that it was a translation error or something? I'm not going to get into that anyway, but Rocco has God and also guys. Or guy.

ROCCO

I pushed the last pin into the wall, then stepped back to assess it. My charcoal drawing hung up on my bedroom wall, the lone feature.

I tilted my head. Man, it would be so cool if there was colour in this. Maybe in the lips or in the eyes...

I went down the stairs into the study, pulling open drawers and rifling through them. Did we really have no paint in this entire house?

I found a very very shitty water colour palette of my sister's, and tested it out with the shitty paintbrush it came with.

Nope. Nope. Way too fucking clumpy.

I sighed, and went back up into my room to look at the artwork again.

I wanted to make a new one now.

I sighed again, and went to grab my keys.

In minutes, I was speeding down the quiet streets of my modern suburb towards the town centre. I pulled up to the only good art store in town - I only knew that because Mallory was a sculptor, selling mushroom earrings and other wack shit like that.

I pushed open the door, feeling out of place in my Wolverine jacket. The bell above the door chimed and I immediately smelt incense or something - my mother was always burning stuff in the prayer room.

The store was very cramped, with art products piled high onto the already full shelves and racks.

I went around the corner and came up to the counter, which was also filled up with random crap.

The owner, an older woman named Laurie with masses of curly red hair, appeared suddenly and silently behind it.

"Hi Rocco! Where's Mallory?" she beamed at me, peering around my shoulder.

"Hi Laurie, just me today." I knew my smile was uncomfortable.

Laurie's eyebrows rose. "Oh, are you getting a present for her birthday? You're a bit early!"

I smiled uncomfortably again. "Nope. Here for me. "

Her mouth formed an embarrassed O. "Oh. Well, do you need help with anything?"

I grabbed one of the art starter kits off the rack next to me. Hopefully this would have everything I needed for now.

"Just this, thanks."

Soon I was out of that stifling air shop, letting the door swing shut behind me. I turned back around and nearly smacked into the person in front of me.

My eyes widened. "Mrs Wilson?!"

She was very pale and thinner than I remembered, and dark circles ringed her eyes, which widened right back. "Rocco!" Her face immediately coloured and she looked hastily at the ground. "Rocco. Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going. "

She stepped aside, folding her hands in front of her to let me pass.

I turned slowly, and stepped past. Her eyes remained glued to the ground.

The silence hung there for what felt like hours, heat rising to my cheeks.

I opened my mouth then shut it. Then "I don't hate you, Mrs Wilson. "

Her eyes shot up towards mine and she stiffened. She cleared her throat, eyes sliding away again.

"Rocco, I don't think you understand. I've caused irreparable harm to your family and your parents marriage, and most likely ruined your childhood as well. I don't - " Her voice shook badly. "You should hate me. "

I thought for a moment. "I can't forgive you, " I said softly. "But I can't hate you either. "

She blinked hard. "I think you are wrong for that. " She whispered, but something had softened in her eyes.

--------

JAX:

The doorbell chimed as I pushed the door open.

"Hey, Vanessa," I said, coming up to the counter. The interior of Grub'n'Stuff was emptier than it should have been, with only a few of the many tables filled.

Even though it wasn't busy, she was the only one there apart from the chef, so she had lots to do, hurrying around behind the counter.

She glanced up at me and her face broke out into a smile. "Hey, Jax!"

She was a Cobra, and the daughter of the owner of Grub'n'Stuff and the nightclub below, Blue Moon. Because her family was involved with Cobras was the only reason we were allowed to sell sometimes downstairs.

She finished what she was doing and leaned over the counter to talk to me. "What can I get you?"

I laughed and looked down. "A job, actually. "

Her eyebrows went up. "You want to work here?"

"Yeah. Up here on Saturday and downstairs on Tuesday and Wednesday nights." I waited, fingers mentally crossed.

She frowned. "Well, we need more people downstairs, but it's not that busy up here. "

"I can make it busy. " I said. "Trust me. "

She gave me a look. "How?"

I leaned forward. "I'll get all my friends to come. Not just my main friend group. Everyone. If my friends come, all the girls will come. If all the girls come, all the other guys will come. Maths. " I held out my hands, shrugging.

"You want to turn this into some sort of teen hangout sundae burger place?" she said sceptically.

I looked pointedly around at the black and white checkered floors, red vinyl seats, and neon light signs. "Isn't that what you're already doing? "

She shook her head slowly. "Nooo, but... Oh my god, I could kind of see that. Like not just Wolves and Cobras but - all of them. "

She thought for a minute, then shrugged. "Well, ok. Why don't you come along on Saturday and bring all of your friends to have lunch here while you work in the kitchen and serving. I'll give you training pay. If you are on top of it, we'll hire you. "

I slapped the counter in triumph, grinning, pulling back. I pointed at her. "You got it, Minnie Mouse. I'll see you on Saturday, boss. "

She laughed as I went out the door.

The Cobra Den was crowded as I pushed my way through the door, slipping between bodies that reeked of leather and the stench of cigarette smoke. I reached the main room and flopped down into an old couch, pulling a cigarette out of my pocket and slipping it in between my lips.

David, one of the old Cobras with a long neat beard and greying hair reached out his lighter to light the end of my cigarette. The tiny orange flame warmed my face, the heated air slightly uncomfortable on my eyes.

I raised my chin at him in thanks, taking in a long drag of smoke and settling back into the couch. "Hey David, how you doin'. "

"I'm good. Listen boy, I got a job for you. My man Grant is managing the Red Rat over at the next town. " David held out a cloth bag that rustled as it swung in the air, no doubt because of the plastic wrapping its contents inside.

I glanced at it, then reached up to take the cigarette from between my lips with my middle and index finger. I tipped my head back and blew out a long plume of oily grey smoke into the air.

"Thanks, Dave, but I'm not currently doing runs. " I said, placing the cigarette back between my lips, imagining the grey smoke racing down the passageways of my lungs, already feeling its effects spreading through my muscles.

David sat up a bit next to me. "Whaddya mean you're not doing runs?" He growled.

I tilted my head slowly to face him straight on, noting his lined face, the unruly eyebrows, the permanent stench of alcohol on his breath.

"What I said, Dave. I'm not doing runs. " I said calmly.

He glared at me for a second longer, tense and still, remembering that I was the Prince of the Cobras. I didn't budge, just stared back, taking another slow drag on my cigarette.

He scoffed, and pushed up off the sofa in disgust. I sat back, watching him disappear through the throng.