XXXII: Deal with the devil

《 ASPEN GRISWOLD 》

At first the magic poured through me, like a never-ending cache. Then the stream turned to a dribble, something that took a strain on my body and mind to get out of my system. By the end of it, my lungs burned with the lack of air and I collapsed against the edge of the bed in a boneless heap.

I didn't realize I had closed my eyes, before I heard Rain stammering: “Is it.. did it.. Is it done?”

I was too exhausted to speak or lift my head from the bed. My brain muddled what Rain said next, only just making out the questioning tone of it. But then, after hearing another familiar voice, my eyes snapped open.

My head swam as I yanked it up and pushed myself up from the bed. I twisted around so fast I pulled something from my side, but it drowned under the tsunami of relief.

“I don't feel any different.” Rio whispered, their hand clasping around their throat and eyes widening in awe. Like they couldn't believe they were still alive either. Rain, with a grin on his lips, made to embrace Rio, but he stumbled to a halt when he noticed the frown on Rio's face.

I followed their gaze and turned to look over my shoulder. Panicking, I grasped onto Phoenix, the metal unyielding against my palms, and tried to call forth more magic. But nothing came. There was no more magic left, because I had given it all away. Every last drop.

I stumbled up to my feet, almost lurching down to my face when the sudden movement made the room swim and sway underneath my feet. I was in no shape to move, but I couldn't just sit there and.. What? Wait?

“Maybe they're just not done yet?” Rio suggested. No one had told me how long it would take, just that he would awake once the ceremony was over.

I knew time worked differently on our sides, the panicked haze just kept me from believing it, and all I could think about was: If there is no magic left and Phoenix is still down in the dreamside, I will have no way to get back to him. I’m never going to see him again. I didn't even let him say his goodbyes.

“It's not over yet.” Rain offered as he tried to grasp my shoulder, but I cringed away from him.

“It's not over yet?” I repeated his words, twisting his comfort into something ugly and bitter. I raked my fingers through my hair, vicious enough to pull a few black strands free. “Look at him.”

Phoenix hadn't changed. All my magic had gone into that lifeless, golden shell, but there he was. Unchanged.

“I know..” Pain flashed in Rain's eyes. In any other circumstances I would have felt sorry for him, but I was in no shape to give him comfort.

Rain, without turning his gaze from Phoenix, wrapped an arm around Rio's shoulders and Rio slumped against his side. I ignored them, my head spinning as icy coldness spread from my chest to my arms and all the way down to my fingertips.

It made no sense, but looking at Rain and Rio soured my stomach. Not for one second did I hope for Rio to suffer, and I know them being gone would tear me apart, but.. I wanted to grab Rain from the collar of his shirt and scream at his face: Why do you get to have it all, when I don't even get the one thing that could make me happy?

But just as fast as the thought had come, it was gone and I wanted to sink through the floor and deep into the ground. I wasn't the only one whose happiness depended on the outcome of today. My throat burned with shame and, to make it even worse, my eyes prickled with frustrated tears.

“I can't do this right now.” Was all I managed to say, before turning around and fleeing from the room. I couldn't stay there or I was going to say or do something I knew I would regret.

I slammed a photo frame off the wall, but the glass didn't break and it didn't give me the satisfaction I had hoped for. I knocked down a broom next, and didn't stop to hear its harmless clatter, before yanking open the front door. The brisk outdoor air did nothing to calm my temper, but screaming and swearing at the sky did help a little.

It was supposed to work. I did everything right, so why didn't it?

Snow was dotting the gray of the sky with white, floating down to my overheated skin and down my cheeks. I glared daggers at the three golden statues as I stomped past them. I didn't need another reminder of my failures.

God, what was I going to do now?

I didn't know where I was going, only that I needed to get as far from the cottage as I possibly could. I stomped along the pathway, the ground glazed with ice and frost. I had made it all the way to the thickening woods, when I faltered in my steps.

Something nagged at my brain, some hidden knowledge that was right there to be found but I still couldn't reach. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like I needed to go back and make sure of.. something.

With urgency, I turned back to the direction I had come from, too dazed to object when my feet guided me back to the direction of the cottage. Tracing my steps on the pathway, my eyes strained to see the golden statues.

Three golden statues.

Where Willow had stood, charging at us with her bow, was just a melted spot on the icy ground. All the air left me in a sharp hiss, as much a gasp of disbelief as it was of relief. Not all of them had awoken, but if one had..

I rushed back inside and leaped up the stairs two steps at a time. All the while I clutched at my side, the one I had thought I twisted in my hurry to look at the others earlier. But I had been numb then, overtaken by exhaustion and aching all over.

Now, I realized it was a pain I was familiar with: the blunt ache of fractured ribs working hard to heal.

“It's working.” I announced as I pushed the door open, winded and wide-eyed. As they all turned to look at me, not having moved while I was gone, I explained: “Willow’s statue is gone. She's woken up.”

I didn't stop to think about what it meant. The possibility of danger didn't even cross my mind, but even if it had, I didn't think Willow was going to hurt us. For her to wake up, she must have been awake on the other side. Either way, I was glad she was the first one to return from the four.

“But..” It was the first word Najwa spoke in days. She glanced at Phoenix, still golden and unmoving on the bed, and at Rio, who was intact and alive.

“Does your leg hurt?” I asked Rain, as Najwa showed no intention of finishing her sentence.

“Well, I mean.. it pretty much always does.” Rain shrugged, avoiding my gaze. I wasn't surprised when he didn't volunteer to roll up the leg of his trousers in front of us all, but instead turned to Rio and asked: “And you?”

“I don't feel any different.” Rio echoed their earlier words and brushed their fingers along the pale skin of their throat again. “I'm okay.”

“Your face looks fine.” Rain pointed out, and it took me a while to realize he was talking to me. If I had undone the healing of my ribs, then why didn't my face hurt? And if my ribs hurt and Rain's leg was worse, then why was Rio feeling the same?

“Then..” Najwa speaking one word sentences was better than her not talking at all. She was leaning against the wall, keeping her distance from us. Her gaze flicked down to Phoenix again, as she gnawed at her lower lip.

“We'll wait.” Rio decided. They must have been afraid, just as frustrated as the rest of us, but they didn't let it show. For our sake. Which only made me feel worse about my bitter thoughts earlier. “It's Phoenix. He wants to make a dramatic entry.”

“Yes.” Rain murmured and stepped forward. He hissed out a sharp breath as he set his weight on his bad leg, brows arching up in surprise. He made no comment about it, but just took the final step to his friend, brushing at his temple with his fingertips. “I bet he's brokering a deal with the devil to keep us all together right at this moment.”

“That does sound like him.” I smiled, despite the worry twisting my stomach into tight knots, despite my fear of never seeing him again.

But Rain was right, it wasn't over yet. If Willow was the only one yet woken up, then.. It was just about to start.

An arm wrapped around my back, avoiding my bruised side with precision, and a head full of coils rested against my shoulder. She was so small it was like hugging one of my sisters, but I had enough self-preservation to never voice that thought. Instead, I glanced down at her and she gave me an encouraging smile that conflicted with the determined steel of her dark eyes.

She didn't have to put it into words. She didn't need to say it, for me to know that she, by some miracle, trusted her mom, Phoenix and Rio's lives in my hands. I let out an uneven breath, and decided to trust that I had done everything right and that it was only the beginning.

So, we waited.

At first in the room, but as the lack of chairs became uncomfortable, we moved to the kitchen. Someone made tea, and I cradled the mug in my hands to soak in its warmth. For a long while no one spoke a word.

“It's taking too long.” I muttered, needing to fill the silence. The tea had gone cold and the room had gotten shadowy. I began to ask: “Will he..”