Chapter 41

We barely managed to keep our hands off each other in the shower, in spite of the festival of fucking we just had. But we did, if only because all of us were exhausted. I saw a nap in my near future. But first, I wanted to see more of the house.

I had no clothes with me, so Rowan’s t-shirt was currently skimming my bare thighs as I crept back by the nest. The guys were getting dressed, and Vaughn had mentioned ordering food, so I was free to spy on everything.

The only rooms I’d really seen were the nest and its connecting bathroom, but I vaguely remembered a bright hallway before we got there. That was where I went, pushing open the door and blinking tears out of my eyes. I’d been in cozy dimness for days. The sun was a bit much, but when my eyes cleared and I saw out the windows, my jaw dropped.

There was a door. I stepped outside into balmy summer heat and a breeze that smelled like water and salt. It couldn’t be, right?

But it was.

We were on the cliffs, magnolia trees dotting here and there. From here I could look down on the estate and see all of it laid out. The beach too. This was where I used to climb and sit, using the rickety switchback path. There was a gate in front of it now, but it was still there.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

“Wondered when you’d find this. Guess sooner rather than later.” Rowan stood by the door in soft jeans and a t-shirt that looked equally soft. The wind ruffled his hair, the sun glinted off his skin, and he was smiling at me. He looked so good it hit me in the chest. But I still couldn’t comprehend this. “You live here?”

“We do.”

“I can’t believe this.”

He chuckled and came to me. “Is that a good or bad statement?”

“It’s fucking great. When we were driving from the airport, I saw someone had built a house up here and I was sad because I used to come up the path and sit up here all the time. This house wasn’t here when I left.”

“No,” he said. “Sounds like you left right around the time we broke ground. We’ve lived in it for a few months now.”

“But it’s yours.”

“Could be ours,” he said. “If you want that.”

Behind him the house rose two stories, a classic style that suited this place more than the glitzy and modern mansions that dotted most of the coast. I had barely seen the inside of it, but I knew it was beautiful. Because they had put so much time and effort into a nest that wasn’t even being used. They would make the same effort with the rest of their home.

“Isolde?”

“I’m sorry. It still doesn’t feel real to me. I know it is, but…” I huffed a breath. “You’re sure?”

He stepped closer and cradled my face with both hands, letting them sink into my hair. “I’ve never been so sure of something in my life. You were dreading the wedding? So was I, because we didn’t know what you would say when we told you. We didn’t know if you would believe us without a heat to prove it. We just hoped we had enough time to prove we wanted you. Needed you.”

I swallowed. “Wow.”

Rowan laughed and kissed me. “Nothing is going to change our minds, Isolde. The only thing that could make us walk away is you telling us to. Otherwise, we’re yours. Everything we have and everything we are. We’ll go where you go. Whatever you want, we’ll make it happen.”

Holding onto his wrists, I searched his face. “What about you?”

“I want you. Nothing else matters.”

I made a face. “You’re allowed to want things besides me. And I’m basically the reason your career is ending, so you’re entitled to want something.”

He took me by the shoulders and turned me so we both faced the ocean, holding me to him. “We all have things we do in our free time, and would be happy to continue doing or monetizing. You already know mine. I’ve wanted to set up a high-end specialty dispensary for a long time. Clarity is the perfect place for it, I just never had the time.”

“I’ve been told to try your candy.”

“You can absolutely try my candy. And I’ll have to show you my grow room in the basement.”

Leaning back against him, I smiled. “I want to see everything.”

“Vaughn’s ordering Italian food for everyone. That okay?”

My stomach growled in response. We’d eaten, but when you went that hard for so long, you needed more. I was starving. “That sounds amazing.”

He kissed my hair. “I don’t want to take you away from the view.”

“That’s okay. The view isn’t going anywhere. Even if I’m annoyed you didn’t tell me you live right here.”

“I liked the look on your face though.” Rowan kept his arm around me as we went back into the house and through the hallway I’d been distracted by. The main story of the house was large. The house sprawled rather than going vertical, which I understood.

A cozy, sunken living room centered around a fireplace with overstuffed couches and armchairs. There was a television too, but there were doors that could hide it so it wasn’t the focal point of the room.

There were warm colors and half-walls making the space seem open while still having some division. Stairs led up to the second floor, and there was a hallway with branching rooms beyond the airy kitchen.

Hawk sat on one of the leather couches on his phone. Joel was pouring a drink in the kitchen, and the others weren’t back yet.

“Isolde has thoughts about the house,” Rowan announced.

I looked up at him and made a face. “I’m going to have words with whoever decided not to tell me you guys lived right here. I love this clifftop. I used to come up here every fucking day in the summer.”

Hawk grinned, and I stepped down into the living room far enough for him to drag me to him and across his lap. “Are you saying you’d have agreed to be ours earlier if we’d shown you the house?”

My clothes were still non-existent, so the sweatpants he had on were doing almost nothing to separate our bodies. I decided to tease him. “I guess we’ll never know now, will we?”

“Does that mean you’re staying, baby girl?”

I dropped my eyes, blushing. “I want to.”

Pulling me closer, he didn’t let me get away. Instead, he pressed his forehead to mine. “Why do I hear a ‘but’ in there?”

This was what post-heat was like, because all of a sudden emotions washed up out of nowhere and I choked back a sob.

Hawk held me tighter, crushing me to him. “Hey,” his voice was soft. “If you don’t have an answer, it’s okay. I’m sorry.”

I shook my head where it was buried in his neck. “It’s silly.”

He laughed softly, but he wasn’t laughing at me. I felt his nerves in the way he held me. “I’m sure it’s not silly, baby girl. Just talk to us.”

Pushing back, I swiped at my face to get the tears away. Cade now leaned against the pillar leading to the living room, and Vaughn stood behind the half wall barring the kitchen. They were all here with me.

“I want you so much,” I whispered. “So it doesn’t make sense that I feel terrified. But I do and I hate it. It’s like standing on the cliff outside knowing there’s a net at the bottom and I’m still scared to jump.”

Hawk just nodded. He didn’t look offended or angry or anything like it. Instead, he lifted a hand and curled it around the back of my neck, thumb gently brushing back and forth along my jaw. “What are you scared of?”

My mouth opened and closed. Words didn’t form. I didn’t have any specifics, only this big, nameless thing inside me that was scared to move forward, because what if it fell apart?

“Are you scared of us?” He asked.

No. Never. I shook my head. Hawk smiled. “Then do you mind if I give it a go?”

I toyed with the collar of his t-shirt. “Okay.”

“I think you loved Beau,” he said quietly. “Maybe not at the end, but I think he swept you off your feet, and you had no reason not to love him. And then like the absolute piece of shit he is, he took advantage of your sweetness. Your kindness. And he taught you that being loved was accepting what you could get, being alone, and never being satisfied.”

“But—”

He pulled me close and kissed me, silencing my protest with gentle insistence. “You didn’t even know those things were happening. I know. You thought it was normal, and Beau’s a good actor. No one thought anything was wrong. Not even you, which is why him breaking up with you, even if he claims it was a ploy to bring you closer, was so devastating.

“And all those years and all that history crumbled into dust in the space of a day. Being scared of it happening all over again isn’t silly, it’s natural.”

I lifted my eyes to his, swimming in their darkness, and he smiled again. “But we have something he didn’t.”

“General human decency and the skill to actually bring me to orgasm?”

Laughs burst out through the room, including Hawk. “Those, yes. But we have the knowledge that you’re perfect for us. And we’re perfect for you.”

While scent matches weren’t rare in theory, they were rare in practice. With all the Alphas and Omegas in the world, how were you meant to run into the one person or pack who was yours? I knew a couple of scent matches, but they were few and far between. There were matchmaking services that could help you, but they were expensive as shit, and it didn’t always work.

“And Isolde,” Hawk said. I knew whatever came next was deadly serious because he used my name. “I’ll do whatever you need to show you I mean it. Including bonding with you right fucking now if that’s what you wanted.”

The whole room went still. “You would do that?”

“Hell yes,” Vaughn said. “I would.”

Murmurs of agreement from the others.

I twisted to look at them. “And that doesn’t scare you?”

“No,” Joel said. “At least not in the way you’re thinking. There are always nerves when you make big, life-altering decisions. But for me, for this, the nerves aren’t about whether it’s a good idea. It’s the same kind of nerves you get when you’re about to get news you’re excited about. Or you’re about to go on vacation. Anticipation and not questions or worry.”

Melting off Hawk’s lap onto the couch next to him, I stared up at the ceiling, realizing that here, the room went up two stories and there was a massive skylight letting in the sun.

I let my thoughts drift, and as I did, Hawk pulled my legs into his lap and stroked down my skin, the touch easy and warm. No one said anything, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence.

The thought of going back to my shitty apartment across the country made my entire soul wilt. I didn’t want that. My friends were here. My family was here. I liked the weather and the city better here. And they were here.

Why was this even a conversation? They were here. Was I scared? Yes. But like both Hawk and Joel had pointed out, it wasn’t the same kind of fear. Fear because of prior experience. Fear because it was huge and irrevocable and any sane person would be nervous of it. But was there even a shred of a chance of me walking away from them?

No.

They were mine.

That’s all there was to it.

“So you’re okay with an Omega who’s probably going to be skittish for a while, and really wants this but doesn’t know how?”

Cade suddenly hovered above me, and he knelt beside the couch before kissing me. “I’m okay with you, princess. Everything you are.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down on top of me. He just barely managed to keep himself from crushing me, and he whispered in my ear. “I’m so much more than okay with you, Isolde. I’m very much in love with you, and even if everyone in this pack isn’t ready to say it, they are too. I might not be able to match with you by scent, but you’re still mine.”

Shock rolled through me. “You are my match, Cade. Your scent hits me just as hard as everyone else. Even if you can’t feel it, I can.”

Rowan sat down on the couch across from us and leaned forward on his elbows. “Does this mean you’re staying?”

I bit my lip and nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

They all closed in, pulling me into a tangle of limbs and kisses that lifted me off the couch. Off the ground.

“I always was,” I finally whispered. “I’m sorry I let my head get in the way.”

“Never apologize for making sure something is right, baby girl. But fuck me, I’m glad you’re mine.”

I let myself relax into their arms. “Me too.”

Then my stomach interrupted again, loudly, breaking us all apart. Vaughn held up his phone and grinned. “Food’s almost here. Then we can stuff our faces, and most importantly, make plans.”

I didn’t think I’d ever been as excited about making plans.