thirty-seven

BEAU

I lean back in the elevator, watching Emma as she shifts foot to foot anxiously. I need to meet Beck back in the lobby but I wanted to walk Emma up to the suite myself. Since we got to the hotel, Emma has been suspiciously quiet, a mischievous little smile on her face. I keep catching her observing me, a devious glint in her eyes, but every time I question her she just shakes her head. Let her have her fun, I think to myself, just hoping my conversation with Beck is quick so I can get her out of those clothes.

As the elevator pings with each floor, my phone rings, Jackson's Caller ID flashing on the screen. Jesus Christ. What now?

"Yeah?" I ask, giving Emma a half smirk and poking her in the ribs. She twists away from me, a giggle escaping her otherwise tightly-sealed lips.

"Mr. Lewis, a man is outside your room. He says he's meeting with you?" Jackson speaks quickly and I imagine him placing his hand on Beck's chest, keeping him from entering the suite. The thought makes me grin even wider.

I look to Emma quickly and my smile drops. Outside my room? I told Beck I'd meet him in the lobby. Why doesn't anyone fucking listen to me?

"One second." I grunt to Jackson, checking my screen and seeing Rocco's name. Banging my head against the wall, I hit ignore and return my attention to Jackson. One shit show at a time.

"Why is Rocco calling me?" Emma asks seconds later, nudging me with her elbow and handing me her phone.

Are you fucking kidding me?

"Jackson, one second." I snap, taking Emma's phone from her hand roughly. I give her an apologetic look and hold her phone to my ear, still hearing Jackson scolding Beck through my own speakerphone.

"What?" I bark at Rocco.

"Beau, did you see Rey after the show?" Rocco's voice is rushed and I can hear Scott yelling in the background like a jackass.

"Why?" I rush a hand through my hair as the elevator stops and a crowd of people loads on, one man holding the doors open for someone down the hall. Emma pushes closer to my side to make room.

"Mr. Lewis, what would you like me to tell Beck?" Jackson's voice is stern and the other passengers hush, eyeing Emma and me more intently than before. Recognition dawns on one of the younger woman's faces and I wince, lowering my gaze.

"No ones seen her and she's not answering her phone." Rocco says seriously.

"Mr. Lewis?" Jackson repeats at the same time. Emma stares up at me, her expression both confused and concerned and I feel my mind spinning in a million directions.

Fucking Rey and Beck. I let out a huff of hot air, cursing them both under my breath.

"Fuck just let him in my room." I snap at Jackson, "I'll be up in a minute," I ignore the scowls from the older couple in the elevator. If I didn't have other things on my plate, I'd tell them to screw themselves, too.

"Sir I don't think that's a good idea." Jackson warns and I can't contain my agitation any longer.

"Just do it!" I hang up and sigh when I realize I'm yelling. Emma is blushing as the guy who held the elevator clears his throat accusingly.

"How is Rey my problem right now, Rocco?" I ask as the elevator slows to a stop and the group finally leaves, shooting glares over their shoulders at Emma and me. Meeting their eyes, I throw my arm over Emma's shoulder and hold her close to my side. The doors slide closed and the elevator resumes its painfully slow ascent.

This is what I used to put everyone through every night. A new wave of shame washes over me.

"We just need your help looking. Only an hour, and then we'll take it from there." Rocco is pleading over Scott's incoherent shouting. "You know her best."

Staring down at Emma, I let out a guilty sigh. "Fine. Give me a few minutes and I'll be over."

The line goes dead and I meet Emma's eyes reluctantly.

"Emma, I'm sorry - there's this shit with Rey, I just need some time." She keeps an even expression on her dainty face, and my stomach drops. She's too good for me. "She's losing it, Em."

She leans against me and nods her head, "I get it." Tilting her head back, she asks "Beck in is our room?" Worry clouds her eyes but she tries to keep a  careful smile on her face.

"I don't know why - we agreed on the lobby. I'll get him out. Don't worry about it." I kiss her hair softly and inhale the sweet strawberry scent of her shampoo, letting it ease some of the tension building within me.

As we walk down the hall to the suite, Emma keeps glancing up at me and then back down at her feet, like shes waiting for something. Too many thoughts crowd my head and I can't quite string the words together to ask her what's up. Instead we stay quiet, the nerves radiating off of her in waves, amplifying my own.

"Sir," Jackson nods at me as we approach our room, his arms crossed over his chest intimidatingly. I ignore him and take a deep breath to control my irritation.

"Let's get this over with." I raise my brows at Emma and drop her hand to swipe my key in the door, pushing it open with the toe of my boot.

Before I'm even all the way over the threshold, I stop in my tracks, all coherent thought leaving my brain. All I can think, all I can feel, is how badly I want to beat the shit out of my brother.

"Beau, what-" Emma shoves her petite frame through the door, using her might to push me forward a couple of steps. She stops cold, too, taking in the sight in front of her slowly.

"What, Beck - what?" Her voice is so innocent.

Beck doesn't even have the decency to look ashamed. Holding his hands up in front of him, my wallet still between his fingers, he half shrugs at us. Slowly, I tear my eyes from his face to take in my bags, open and torn through, at his feet.

"I can explain." His eyes flicker to the door, probably at Jackson approaching behind Emma, and then back to me, a sheepish grin on his lips. "It's me, Beau, let me just explain."

"Get out." I growl, storming forward and enjoying how Beck flinches back as I do, and rip the wallet from his hand.

"Beau," Beck argues as Emma backs into the hallway, allowing Jackson to stand behind me.

"Mr. Lewis?" Jackson's usual scowl stares at me and I shake my head.

Grabbing the cash out of my wallet, I push down the bitter taste in the back of my throat, the empty feeling tearing through my gut, and shove the bills against Beck's chest.

"Take it and get the fuck out."

"Wait." Beck tries to grab my hand.

Red obscures my vision and I jerk away, using all my weight to push forward and crash Beck against the wall. His eyes widen and he struggles against my grip.

I'm not your kid brother anymore, asshole.

"Out." I seethe, tugging Beck by his shirt and throwing him into the hallway. He stumbles forward, steadying himself against the wall long enough to spare one last glance in my direction. Seeing no sympathy there, his head falls and he staggers down the corridor, tucking my money into his back pocket.

Watching after him, I resist the urge to follow and tackle him to the ground. Somehow I knew it would end like this, one way or another. I knew it, deep down - Beck doesn't care if I ever meet his kid, he just knows I have the means to make things easier for him.

I shake my head and clench my fists. I knew it - I knew it and I should've followed my gut.

"Beau?" Emma is behind me, placing a hand on my forearm. I still beneath her touch, taking a long inhale and closing my eyes tightly.

"Emma, I love you." I grit through my teeth. "But I can't do this right now." When I open my eyes, I see her staring up at me, lips quivering.

She grips my hand tightly, but I pull away from her, keeping my eyes trained on the patterned carpet.

"I have to go help with Rey." I mutter simply, giving her hand a half-hearted squeeze before turning and dialing Rocco's number.

As I step through the sliding doors of the elevator, I take one last look. Emma is watching after me, her face crest-fallen, shoulders hunched forward.

I shake my head. I had a feeling about Beck and I shouldn't have let myself doubt my instincts.

Fuck me.

***

After an hour driving around with Rocco to find Rey, the SUV pulls back up to the hotel. As the wheels squeal to a stop, I knot my fingers through my hair, letting out a deep sigh.

"If I see her, I'll let you know." I grunt to Rocco, flipping my phone over in my hands. It's not that I'm not worried for Rey - I am, and I'm pissed that she isn't answering her cell. But I was a dick to Emma. Again.

And I feel like absolute shit. Twelve hours till my appointment with Dr. Dex, but the heat is blazing up the back of my throat, my mind fuzzy with the temptation of what I know will make all the crap I feel... just go away.

Rocco mutters a response, taking a call right as I step out of the car. They're away from the curb before I even make it inside, still hunting for our lost girl.

Ah, Rey, I shake my head and stomp up the marble stairs to the lobby. What're you doing?

I halt in the center of the large entryway, my eyes trailing between the elevator and the hotel bar. Emma or whiskey. I inhale painfully and step towards the elevator when a familiar shaved head catches my eye.

"Rey!" I shout, ignoring the looks from other guests. Stomping across the shiny floor, I wave my hand above my head. "Rey, what the fuck!"

A woman carrying a tray of champagne flutes gives me a dirty look and I lower my voice as I approach Rey, now slumped over in the booth.

"Rey, I've been calling you. We all have, what the fuck are you doing?" She lifts her head weakly, eyes bloodshot as she tries to focus on my face.

"Hi Beau," She mumbles, harshly wiping at her cheek. "I'm just... you know," She raises her hands to present the bar to me. As I settle into the booth beside her, the stench of alcohol hits my nostrils hard. I hold my breath, trying to clear my head.

"Rey, you're plastered." I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her up with me as I stand. "Come on, let's get you out of here," I scan the room quickly, noticing all the eyes watching us. A number of phones are pointed our way.

"Oh, Beau, at least buy me a drink first." Rey giggles, gripping the hand I'm using to hold her tightly in her own fingers.

I roll my eyes, pushing her down the hall as cautiously and discreetly as I can. "That's the last thing you need. It feels better now, but once you wake up, you'll only feel ten times worse. I should know." I mutter, pulling my face out of her reach. "Stop,"

As I say the words, the temptation fades just a fraction. She pouts her full lips, but crosses her arms over her chest, leaning into my side for support. We finally jolt to a stop on our floor and I tug her into the corridor, careful not to move too quickly as she stumbles over her own feet.

"This is you," I mutter, scrolling through my calls to let Rocco know. Someone should spend the night to make sure she's okay. My mind flashes back to Emma as another part of me longs to go back downstairs.

"What?" Rey's eyes flash open, wide and panic stricken. "Please, can I stay with you? I don't feel good," She brings a hand to her head, wiping at her clammy skin.

I grind my teeth together in frustration. My last night with Emma and Rey seems determined to ruin it.

"Rey," I shake my head, holding out my hand for her key card. I stare at my palm, the guilt already creeping up on me.

She frowns, "Please, Beau. Just for a little while? Until it passes,"

I chew my lip, unsure of what to do. She doesn't look well and I don't want anything to happen to her, but... Emma.

I shake my head but somehow the words slip from my lips anyways. "Fine, for a little."

"Thank you," Rey sighs in relief, closing her eyes and leaning into my arm as we walk to my suite.

Juggling Rey on my one side and using my left hand to awkwardly work the handle, I shove through the door clumsily. Rey trips over my boot and I shoot my other hand out to catch her before she hits the floor.

Bursting into a fit of giggles, she covers her mouth and leans her forehead against my chest. I stiffen at the same time as I hear footsteps approaching into the entryway.

"Rey," I mutter, holding her arms to keep some distance between us, the vodka smell making me dizzy.

"Beau," Her lips barely move as she stands on her tiptoes to touch my face. Her breath is warm against my skin, vodka permeating my every breath. Not for the reasons she thinks, I part my lips and almost taste the liquor on my tongue. It's sickeningly sweet and seductively bitter all at the same time.

The simple action is all she needs to egg her on, and suddenly, she crushes her mouth to mine. Stunned, I don't move for only a millisecond, but that's enough. The liquor on her breath hits my tastebuds and I lose control, the taste sending warmth through my body. Lost in the haze, I'm unable to pull away from her for just a moment.

Just a moment too long.

"Beau?"

Thanks for reading loves! I won't be able to update during the week at least so I wanted to post another chapter.

Anyways...

My heart is hurting, how about yours?