Chapter 5 - the Queen

I undressed and stepped into the warm water. “You… you can’t see me, right?” I asked Thoridor, “you’re not looking through my eyes or anything?”

“No,” he replied, “I can’t just do that any time I want. Besides, I wouldn’t just spy on you like that. When I see you undress, it will be because you want to.”

I gasped and felt my heartbeat begin to speed up. “That won’t happen,” I whispered back, but there was doubt in my heart. Why was there doubt?! I knew I never would want to be with Thoridor, would I?

I cleaned my hair, body and teeth, and then got out of the tub. I glanced down at my body, and winced at the sight. I needed to get my strength back. I needed to get strong and healthy — I needed to train.

And then I realized something. If I was going to stay here for the rest of my life, I needed a way to not only survive — I needed something to do. And since I was a blood wielder, I figured maybe I could actually be of use. I toweled off and put on a clean linen tunic and woolen gown as I sent another thought Thoridor’s way.

“This blood wielding thing, how does it work? What does it do? Are there any other blood wielders I can talk to?”

I opened the door and found Warrian waiting for me. “I don’t know how to drain the tub,” I said apologetically. Warrian smiled at me and walked into the bathing chambers.

“I have never met another blood wielder before. It’s a very rare skill. Are they common amongst humans?” Thoridor asked.

Warrian pulled a lever on the wall, and then used a stick with a hook on the end to lift the bottom of the bathtub again, draining the water this time.

“I don’t even know what a blood wielder is,” I said to Thoridor, “humans don’t have these ‘abilities’ you Ardanians all seem to have been blessed with.”

Thoridor was quiet for a moment. “We’ll go see Aeloria later.”

Warrian approached me, and put his hands on my shoulders. “Are you good to walk, or would you like me to carry you?” he asked. I smiled at him, and grabbed his hand, interlocking our fingers.

“I’ll walk,” I said, “I need to get my strength back.”

Warrian nodded approvingly. “We can train together, if you’d like. I could use some exercise too.”

“I’d love that,” I said, “thank you.”

We strolled back into the bed chamber, and found Thoridor leaning against the wall. Immediately, I felt lighter. I wondered why he affected me so much now — I used to be fine being away from him. I wondered how long it would take before I’d be able to reject him again.

Warrian turned to me. “I’m going to bathe too, if you don’t mind. You can come, if you want, or stay here. It’s up to you.”

Thoridor pushed himself off the wall, and walked toward us. “It is,” he agreed, “but it might be a good idea to stay close to me for a moment, to gather some strength. I could make you some tea?”

I grimaced at him. “Just how long will it take for us to stop needing to be so close all the time?” I asked.

Thoridor shrugged. “The withdrawal was pretty bad. It took a toll on you. On both of us. I don’t know how long it will take —not many Ardanians have rejected their bond before— and even less have changed their minds halfway through. But our bond is a lot stronger than usual, I think.”

“And why is that?” I asked, “just because you’re royal? Your parents are royals, and your mother rejected the bond too.”

“My mother wasn’t a royal,” Thoridor countered, “she got her title by being with my father.”

“Well, neither am I,” I said, “and how come your mother is still Queen, then?”

Warrian, who had been waiting in the door opening, raised an eyebrow and turned around. “I’ll be next door if you need me, Serin.”

Thoridor followed him out, and returned with a kettle.

“I’ll make it,” I said, taking the kettle from him. “Wouldn’t want you to slip me any more of your blood.”

Thoridor grunted. “Serin, please,” he pleaded, “that won’t happen again. I did what I thought was best, to protect you.”

“It’s going to take more than just some kind words to regain my trust. Now tell me about your parents. How come your mother still has her title, and how come you and Morai are here if she rejected your father? Please tell me he didn’t—”

“He didn’t,” Thoridor cut me off, “he’s a monster, but he would never hurt my mother. She may have rejected the bond, but he still loves her.”

I furrowed my brows. “Wait, I don’t understand,” I began, but Thoridor sighed and looked as if he was going to speak. I handed him a cup of tea, and sat down across from him. Everything inside me was telling me to sit next to him —or on his lap, even— but I ignored the urge.

“My mother was born way before my father was,” Thoridor began, “and their mating bond clicked when my father came of age. It’s unusual, for a female to be born before their mate. My mother had always cared deeply for our people, and so she was delighted to be mated to a Crown Prince — the thought of her possibly getting a say in the reigning of our lands excited her.”

“My parents completed the ritual right after their bond clicked, and they had Morai and me not much later. My father could hardly wait for his father to hand over the crown, especially with my mother’s great ideas for our lands, but his father wouldn’t budge. He was a cruel King — didn’t care much for our people. My father would spend most his days hunting and defending our borders, in beast form. He’d stay away for longer and longer each time he went, even when my mother begged him to stay home a while, and recuperate from having been a beast for so long. But the thing is, the longer we stay beasts, the more it messes with our brains. That’s why our beast is usually right at the surface even after we shift back. His beast was a violent one — and so my parents got more and more estranged each time he left.”

“Then, one day, my father came back from a hunt, and killed the King. He just ran into the Palace and ripped him apart — still in beast form. Then, when my mother tried to intervene, her parents, who worked at the Palace, tried to protect her from him, and he ended up killing them too. My mother feared for our lives, and took us away to Aquatic Ardanis, as my father’s beast couldn’t swim. She hid us in the Palace, and began rejecting the bond. It was awful to witness, and my father was so affected by the process, he ended up killing nearly half the Terrestrial Ardanians. He was finally captured and forced out of his beast form. But he’d been a beast so long, he never fully changed back. That’s why he looks the way he does.”

I swallowed, trying to process everything Thoridor had just told me. “So how come she’s still Queen?” I asked, careful not to push him too far.

“My father eventually calmed down, and realized what he had done. That wasn’t until long after the rejection had been completed though. And although the bond was no longer there, his love for my mother still was. He reinstated her title as Queen and gave her full permission to keep ruling our Kingdom as one.”

I drank the rest of my tea. “So she accepted, then?” I asked. “Yes,” Thoridor said. “She says she did it for our Kingdom. But I think part of her did it for him, too.”