Pride and Vulnerability (46)

"So, the boat is ready if we go now..."

Joe huffed loudly as he stepped out of the shower with only a towel covering him.

His wet hair covered his face and his tattoos on full display.

"I fucking wanted to stay with you." He stated contritely.

He reached out and grabbed me by the hips.

"The redhead messed up my plans and she can go to hell." He rolled his eyes.

"Stop..." I trembled cutting him off.

I sighed impatiently, "What's this sort of hatred you have for Bella?" I asked nervously.

"I just can't stand her and that irritating attitude she always puts on. How did you stand her, by the way?"

I remained silent.

How could he have understood? It was impossible for him. For anyone.

Joe interrupted my silence with a deep kiss.

His lips are cold and give me no relief.

Each caress felt hollow as my mind wandered to someone else.

Bella filled my mind 24/7.

His hand slipped in my breast, following a grin on his face.

His fingers lingered too long, a silent claim.

"We should probably go..." I whispered nervously.

He uttered a disapproval whisper.

"No..." His grip tightened.

"Yes... they are probably waiting for us."

I walked away quickly, Joe huffed again.

He finally got dressed after several times I kept repeating it to him.

If mine or Bella's intent was to make him nervous, we had succeeded perfectly...

They were actually waiting for us in the hallway of the resort.

Bella narrowed her eyes as we walked towards them, her gaze dropping to our intertwined hands as she quickly turned away.

Her shoulders suddenly tensed.

I really don't want to see her like that, it breaks my heart.

And I'm starting to realize this was a really bad idea.

"So where did you guys go with the boat?" Leo asked switching his eyes between me and Bella.

I felt her tormented gaze on me.

I swallowed nervously, "Uhm... there's an island near here, we can go there..."

I was obviously not referring to the Blue Moon; that was another secret we would keep to ourselves.

Fortunately Vincent was not the one driving the boat and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Joe pulled me closer, as I stared at the sea.

Bella and Leo in the opposite direction.

"There is only two days left before the wedding." He affirmed.

I felt an ache in my chest.

"These days have flown by..." I sighed wistfully.

"You seem so sad about it, Ellie, you definitely missed me, I know that, baby."

He claimed to know...

I bursted into a bitter smile.

"Maybe it was better this way..."

I don't know where those words came from; I was thinking about something else.

I sighed again, Joe interrupted my uneven sighs by kissing me.

He leaned in, whispering sweet nothings as if he were trying to own not just my body but my mind

Suddenly I heard Leo's laughter, I slowly turned around, because I fear to, and Bella had taken off her dress, remaining in only with her bikini.

Even though I know her body now, I was still mesmerized by it.

Her perfectly toned, flawless figure, her red hair flowing in the breeze from the window, and her black bikini...

Her sculpted butt... her boobs...

Her whole body makes me dizzy.

She was climbing a ladder, and a second later, she dove from it.

I looked out from the boat to see if she was okay as my heart began to race as I couldn't see her.

After a while of suffering, I saw her emerge from the water.

"Duh. She is always over-the-top, it's nerve-racking." Joe affirmed.

His voice was sharp and irritating.

"She's just being herself." I whispered, a small smile tugging at my lips.

There was something about her, something beautiful even in the chaos, that Joe would never understand.

I didn't take my eyes off her until she swam to shore, it must have been like two kilometers.

We got off the boat, and Joe laughed mockingly as Bella approached us.

"Big entrance!"

"My style." She replied.

Her voice was straightforward and lacked any sarcasm as she was tried not to react emotionally.

Joe and Leo stepped back for a moment.

I took a deep breath as I stepped towards her, gathering the courage to speak to her after all this time.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, my voice laced with vulnerability.

"I don't need you to worry." She muttered proudly, the edge in her tone cutting through the air.

Her defensiveness lingered, putting a barrier between me and her.

She brushed past me, and I stood staring at the sea with a pain in my heart.

Everything in this place remind me of her, but it is not the same as before...

as we couldn't be more distant right now.

Before I knew it, Joe took me by the hand and led me to where the jet skis were.

He didn't ask me if I wanted to go, but I didn't protest.

Maybe it would be a good idea to get away from her for a while... let's let the hollowness in our hearts rest for some time.

It's too much to handle for both of us.

Joe rented a jet ski for an hour.

He laughed while I stood behind him, squeezing his waist, and pretending it was all funny.

*BELLA'S POV*

As the anger slowly fades, the silence feels heavy, and regret washes over me like a wave.

I see the hurt in Ellie's eyes as she processes my words, and it hits me like a fucking train.

I don't like that.

I fucking don't like how my pride is starting to possess me.

"Do you want to do it too?" Leo asked me.

My eyes stubbornly pointed in their direction.

I shook my head, forcing myself to turn my gaze to something else.

"I don't feel like it."

Leo offered me his hand.

I sighed and took it, as he made space for me on his deck chair.

I lay down on my stomach nervously fidding with my rings.

"What's wrong with you, Bella? It's like you're somewhere else." He asked me.

Her brown hair was all tousled, and his dark eyes stared at me.

"I'm just tired. That's all."

"That's all?" He echoed.

I swallowed hard, "I feel like I don't belong anywhere anymore." I muttered.

"I don't understand..."

I shook my head, cutting him off, "It only makes sense in my head."

He put his arm around my waist, "Try again..."

"I'm tired of trying. Lately it's like I'm always trying."

My voice turned out to be harsher than I wanted.

I can't be soft. I can't let my fucking guard down.

I can't be vulnerable. Fragility is my curse.

And my heart is a raging fire wrapped in longing and fear.

Leo opened his mouth to speak, but I interrupted him to give him a hug.

I just wanted to try to feel something, but I felt nothing;

And that make me feel more powerless and lost.

I had a desperate need to hold on to something, anything.

I let him caress my back, I closed my eyes but...

Ellie emerged in my mind as she was the only one who consumed and burned my thoughts and desires.

I fear I might lose control for that.

"They are here." Leo whispered after a while.

I turned to them, and before I knew it , Joe's stupid face was in front of us, but my gaze lingered way too long on Ellie's body....

Her olive skin... her dark hair...

her light blue bikini... how could something so simple drive me to such eagerness?

Fuck– that's a damn fire within me.

"We are making our way to the restaurant, coming?" He questioned us with that stupid tone.

Every time I see him, I just want to punch him in his face.

"Shoud we go?!" I asked, ticking my fingers nervously on my arm.

I didn't wait for anyone's answer as I quickly stood up.

It's fucking stronger than me... No matter how much I run away, I always come back to her.

ELLIE' S POV

I could feel Bella resentment building over her as we sat at a table in a restaurant.

I was staring at the menu without reading it, Bella vehemently closed hers and rested her hands on her chin.

Bad sign...

"Did you guys have fun?" She asked us,

her gaze was sharp and direct towards him.

Joe grinned, "You can bet on it. We had a blast."

Bella narrowed her eyes in a sarcastic, annoyed way.

"Always searching of ways of having fun, huh?"

Joe smirked, showing annoyance, "We always have fun when we are together."

"No one is going to ruin your precious fun, don't worry."

Her sharp tone of voice is implying that SHE won't be ruining it; that was a message to me that no one else would understand.

His smile faltered, "When's the last time you had fun, really? Or being this sarcastic is a full-time job?"

"Joe–" I snapped, titlting my head towards him in an attempt to stop whatever he was doing.

Bella crossed her arms, her irritation bubbling beneath the surface.

"I don't need to justify that to you–" She shot back, her tone cool.

"And at least I'm not pretending everything's perfect." She stated.

I raised my eyes to her, they were wounded, fragile, but she was putting on an armor of strength.

I could tell that she felt the weight of her words, just as much as I felt their weight too.

"Can we just... take a moment?"

I whispered, firmly yet trembling.

For a brief moment Bella faltered and her shoulders relaxed.

Her expression was more composed now.

"Ellie and I are perfect happy couple."

Joe stated and squeezed his arm around my neck pulling me closer.

Clearly he didn't listen to my request.

"Nothing is perfect, by any means."

She teased.

Joe laughed, "We are the exception."

Bella's eyes narrowed further as she had already had a prepared answer.

"The exception proves the rule."

She stated, not giving him the chance to respond.

Leo laughed.

How can he laugh? I don't understand why he seems at ease about these two clearly pushing each other's buttons.

It's strange... it's like he is... used by it by now.

It must have happened before as well. At work, maybe.

"Man... you're screwed. You can't win an argument against a lawyer..."

Leo's voice interrupted that awkward silence.

Bella silently smirked, but her expression remained composed.

Joe turned red with irritation as he stopped talking, but only because he didn't know what to say.

For the rest of the lunch he was impatient and seemed to be in a hurry as he kept sending me glances.

I pretended not to see them but this was getting me nervous.

He drank his bottle of beer.

I didn't eat that much, I kept pouring water into my glass in a mechanical, nervous way.

"So, what are you guys going to do now?" Leo asked us.

I nervously reached out my hand toward the water bottle, Bella did the same, and our fingers gently brushed against each other.

That delicate contact made me shiver.

Shivers all over my damn body.

I looked up at her, and she seemed stunned as well.

I let go of my hand first.

"I want to stay here for now." I spoke without a second thought.

"I mean... I would like to stay here." I corrected myself.

"Are you sure you don't want to go back to the resort?" Joe insisted.

Bella was pouring water into my glass, slightly raising a sharp eyebrow at Joe's request; I froze as she poured.

"Yes, I'm sure." I whispered.

I raised my gaze towards her, I saw something in her eyes that was both tender and bittersweet at the same time.

And in that moment I saw a shared vulnerability that terrified me.

A/N

I'm sorry to keeping you guys on the edge for now 🫠😏

But thingssss are definitely comingggg 🫡