24: It Felt Like A Promise

"Who was that?" The sudden unrecognizable voice caused my thoughts to be torn from sleep and returned to me. Groggily, I wondered where I was. Then a sudden panic caused me to open my eyes, fearing that I was back in my own bedroom.

But that wasn't the case at all. I was lying comfortably in Sam's bed, tangled in his sheets as though they were once meant to be wrapped around me. My gaze found the barely cracked opened doorway, where I could vaguely make out the shape of Sam on the other side. He was talking in hushed tones with someone, and I didn't dare to move in case of them finding out that I was awake.

"Just a friend." I heard Sam answer, since I could barely tell what was being said if I strained to listen.

"Usually when it's just a friend, you don't have to immediately specify that fact." The other person replied. It was clearly a woman, her voice coming across as mature and lyrical. Perhaps she was an angel with a voice as smooth as that.

"Well it is, Mom." He argued. So that was Sam's mysterious mom who I often questioned the existence of. I wasn't sure if I should have been relieved to know that she was real, or disturbed that she nearly walked in on us sleeping in each other's arms. Not that I was entirely disgusted by people learning about Sam and I, since we were now officially boyfriends, but I didn't want that moment to be stripped away from us. Especially not Sam. He deserved to tell people on his own time.

"Now I wish I got a better look. Do you secretly have a girlfriend?" She giggled, clearly excited by the idea. That was a bit disheartening, because she was sorely mistaken for hoping for something like that.

"There's no girlfriend, I promise." Sam told her sternly, and it took everything in me to not snort at that comment. At least he was telling the truth. "It's just a friend who really needs some sleep. They've been struggling recently."

That seemed to be effective in lulling his mom's attempts to learn more about why Sam was cuddling someone in bed, and rather focus in on the conflict that was occurring with me. "Are they alright?"

"Yeah, they'll be okay. Just a lot of stress and all that."

"Is there anything I can do to help? Would they want to stay for dinner?" She lightly pressed, but all I could really focus on was the fact that she was going along with Sam's use of gender neutral pronouns. There was no way that using those didn't leave her curious. I knew that if it was my mom having that conversation, she would have immediately wanted to know why I was saying them instead of her. But not Sam's mom, which was oddly nice to know.

"No, they really just need to be left alone right now." He explained. I let out a breath, glad that Mrs. Warner wasn't about to barge into the room and learn exactly who her son was laying in bed with. Once again, she was far different than my mom. She would have broken the door down just to catch a glimpse of what was on the other side.

"I hope there's nothing too serious going on with them. Don't hesitate to let me know if there's any way I can help." She insisted, and I nearly felt myself smile. She sounded so incredibly caring and loving, and I was beyond elated to know that Sam's perpetual love for his parents — no matter how much time he was left entirely on his own — actually had some real world standing rather than pure delusion.

"Of course."

I could hear her kiss his forehead. "I love you no matter what, Sam. Don't forget that."

"I know. I love you too." I had a feeling that she was trying to carefully tell him that it was alright to tell her about me. After all, most kids didn't use gender neutral pronouns when addressing the strange person they got caught lying in bed with. It left me wondering what the hell my parents were going to say when they inevitably found out about my boyfriend. Because we were official now, so it was bound to be found out eventually.

I could hear Mrs. Warner walking down the hallway with what sounded like the clicking of heels. Even though I had yet to see her face-to-face I predicted that she was always dressed to the nines. The sound of her heels only furthered that belief.

The door lightly clicked shut once more, and I made sure that my eyes were shut tight so that Sam wouldn't know that I eavesdropped on his conversation with his mom. It was likely that he wouldn't even care that I did, but I didn't want to risk it. Besides, maybe I was pleased enough just to know that his mom was not only real, but every bit as kind sounding as Sam insisted she was. Maybe that was a happy thought that I wanted to keep to myself.

A moment passed before the bed dipped as Sam climbed back into it. I felt him get closer and closer to me, until his arms snaked around my waist and pulled me against his chest. I just allowed him to think that I was still asleep, which I knew was soon to come true because being that close to him was just so damn comforting.

As I slowly seemed to drift off once more, Sam's hand found my hair. He lightly ran his fingers through it, carefully avoiding the numerous tangles that always seemed to occupy it. I could feel his eyes on me, and a brief thought entertained me.

What did he see when he looked at me?

Then I heard him mumble to himself, as though the following words were too much to keep trapped inside. Like he had to let them leave his lips just to make sure they rang true. "Boyfriends, huh? I'll do so much more for you, Sawyer."

It felt like a promise. One that I captured with my heart, and kept safely tucked inside. It was mine from then on, even if Sam didn't know it.

•O•O•

"On Friday?" I sighed, wishing that maybe we could escape reality for a little while longer. But of course not, because apparently Sam was informed that we all had to meet up with those psychos yet again. Joy.

"Unfortunately." He nodded. We were sitting at a table in the courtyard at school, waiting for Sam's friends to join us. It felt weird to sit at the very spot that I used to dread even glancing at. Plenty of students cast us confused looks as they walked past, wondering why the hell Sam and I would ever consider sitting next to each other. We had been getting looks like that ever since Sam first began driving me. I wondered what they would think if they knew the truth.

"Great." I sighed, wanting anything other than to attend another meeting. "And I take it you won't allow me to go somewhere else?"

"We both know that's a bad idea, don't pretend otherwise." He said in a matter-of-fact tone. And he was right, of course, but maybe I liked living in a fantasyland sometimes. It was easier than dealing with the mess we were all well over our heads in.

A moment later, and there his friends seemed to manifest. Caden was the first to greet us, just like he always was. "Hey, Sam! Hey, Sawyer!"

"Hey, Cade." Sam smiled, watching as they all took their respective seats. Caden besides a characteristically quiet Brian, and Dennis across from Sam. "I was just telling Sawyer about Friday."

"Oh, yeah." Dennis huffed, in the middle of eating handfuls of chips.

"I'm thrilled too." I nodded sarcastically.

"It's always so much fun." Caden added, his previously enthused expression dropping into annoyance. Not even Caden could be optimistic about the future when it looked so damn bleak. That should have been the biggest red flag, because Caden usually looked at the bright side of every scenario. It was hard to believe that not even he could make this easier.

Sam bit his lip. "I certainly don't enjoy it either, but here we are."

The conversation probably would have gone on longer — possibly even progressing into another argument about the whole thing — but it was cut short when someone came up behind me and tapped my shoulder. I turned around, finding my best friend staring back at me with wide eyes.

"Sawyer, why didn't you tell me?" She rushed the question out, palms up as though she was simply flabbergasted.

All I could do was stare back at her, because I had no idea what she was talking about. "Tell you what?"

"I overheard some girls in the cafeteria talking about you, and they said that apparently you were spotted flirting with someone at Freddy's party." Millie said, jaw hung open as though it was the craziest thing she had ever heard. Quite frankly, I agreed with her. My skin went cold, instantly assuming the absolute worst. Did they see Sam and me?

"What?" Was all I could manage. My throat went a little dry.

Millie rolled her eyes. She lightly tapped my shoulder to make me scoot over on the bench, nearly causing me to bash into Sam as she haphazardly took a seat beside me. "You have no idea how many times I've been asked to ask you if you would date so and so. And every time I tell them no up front, because, well, you don't date anyone. Some girl you wouldn't even remember the name of certainly won't be the first to change that."

All I could do was blink at her, because, well, she wasn't wrong. Sort of. I did have a boyfriend sitting just to my right, watching the conversation curiously. So I did date someone. Someone who's name was forever ingrained into my memory. But other than that, I really had no idea where this monologue was going.

"Anyway." Millie waved a hand in the air as though to force herself back on track. "When I heard them saying something about someone kissing you, I literally screeched on the spot. You should have seen the looks they gave me. But seriously, how come I'm just now hearing about this?"

I couldn't even reply, I was so shocked. How the hell did someone see me being kissed? Sam and I were careful to not be seen, there was no way. And if someone did see us, wouldn't everyone know that it was Sam? He was so popular that it seemed impossible I would be recognized before him. Or even talked about before him. In fact, I was just extremely confused all around.

When I said nothing, Sam actually spoke for me. "That wasn't Sawyer's fault."

That seemed to be an awful way to put it, because everyone at the table turned and stared at him quizzically. I joined them, because all I could think was why the hell would he say that? However, he seemed to realize the bizarreness of his words, because he quickly shook his head and backtracked.

"I mean that it was my cousin's fault. Chloe wouldn't stop flirting with him, and she kissed his cheek without asking." Sam clarified, earning looks of realization from everyone else. When he said that, it made me understand that I was also jumping to conclusions. No one saw Sam and me, they saw Chloe and me.

"Yeah, I sort of pushed it out of my memory." I agreed.

"Wait, let me get this straight." Millie furrowed her brow. "Chloe forced herself onto you? And you never thought to send me her full name and address?"

"Oh, shit. You're right. Next time someone makes me supremely uncomfortable, I'll make sure to get their full name and address."

Millie looked past me, gaze landing on Sam. "I know you have it, so give it to me. Let me show that bitch what she deserves for not taking a damn hint."

"I don't know if that's a good idea, to be honest." Sam tossed a worried glance my way.

"It's most definitely not." I cut in. "It's fine, Millie. I mean, it wasn't fine when it happened. But I genuinely did forget about it, so there isn't anything to fight her over."

"Anyone who can't understand that someone they're flirting with is clearly uncomfortable deserves a good 'ol slap just to knock some common sense into them." She countered.

"If it's any consolation at all, Sam did bitch her out for it."

She once more looked past me and stared thoughtfully at the boy on my right. "Not sure that I trust him to do my job."

"I did tell her off, because it was really awful how she acted." Sam nodded.

That only caused Millie's expression to morph into one of pure uncertainty. "Since when do either of you help each other out?"

"It's like the whole world is backwards!" Dennis exclaimed from where he was previously sitting quietly on the other bench. His arms were thrown into the air as though he couldn't reign in his shock.

"I think it's fun." Caden grinned. "I like Sawyer and Millie." He let out a sudden gasp of excitement, tugging on Brian's sleeve. "Can we keep them?"

Brian subtly rolled his eyes, but I could see the hint of his own smile. "So they're pets now?"

"We can take them on walks and feed them and water them." Caden drummed on the table in an attempt to expel some energy. "Then when they get old and ugly, we'll just make them Sam's problem."

"Why mine?" Sam frowned.

"You have the most money to take care of them." He answered as though it was obvious.

Millie looked at me in amusement. "Is he always this adorable?"

I just shrugged.

Somehow we managed to stay like that for the rest of lunch, tossing jokes around and staying civil. That was the first time Millie and I ever joined Sam & Co. like that, and it felt oddly normal. Like we belonged there in some peculiar way. I was also grateful that Millie seemed to forget why she initially joined us. The last thing I wanted to talk about was Sam's persistent cousin.

The normalcy was a bit unnerving. Sure, I was wedged between my boyfriend and my best friend on a bench, sitting across from his three closest friends in the world. But did any of us really belong together? The people I once hated the most — bound together by threads of potential imminent death. Should we be joking and laughing together at all?

If the answer ever became clear, it would likely be too late.

•O•O•