chapter 20

Chapter 20Mishal The flashback ended, and I returned from the reverie, a shiver running down my spine. ‘What happened?’ Khadija asked, the lines on her forehead creasing. ‘Nothing.’She sighed. ‘Go and talk to him, Mishie. Please don’t worry about anything. We don’t have anything to lose, now.’I looked at her considerately. ‘You know, all these years, I wished I had not pressurized you to save me back then. We should not have listened to Fariya and let her blackmail us so easily.’‘She could have leaked the video, Khadija.’She looked away, helplessly. ‘You’re right. I should tell him the truth. I have already delayed it too much.’She smiled. ‘Go tell him now.’I looked into her eyes somberly and nodded. All I needed was the strength my sister had poured into my soul to tell everything to Daniel. It was time he came to learn how I was involved in ruining his childhood; how I was responsible for plaguing his reputation and pulling him apart from his mother. ***A few minutes later, Khadija went downstairs to sleep. She did ask me if I wanted her to stay with me a bit longer, but I knew she was exhausted from holding Hamza for too long in her arms and because of the flight. After she left, I began pacing in my room, my eyes fixated on my cell phone. There was still no response from Daniel. What if he’s not feeling well? What if something happened to him? How should I find that out? I went outside to the terrace and rushed towards the wall connecting our terraces. My heart thudded loudly against my chest as I craned my neck to get a better view of his room’s window. Apparently, the curtains on his window were not drawn, and the lights inside his room were also off. It was hard to tell whether he was still awake or sleeping. Standing right there, I had decided what I needed to do to make him talk to me. Taking a deep breath, I climbed over the wall with every ounce of strength in my body and landed with a soft thud on his side of the terrace.DanielI gulped down a bottle of coldie (beer) from the slab—the beer box. Then took another. And then another. In over an hour, I had finished four bottles of beer, and they were enough to get me mildly intoxicated. I had just come to the horrible realization that Mishal was in love with someone else. I had never thought that knowing she was interested in someone else other than me could affect me this much. More so, knowing that she was interested in Hammad and not me was even more painful to bear than I could have ever imagined. I could care less about any person, but how could I ignore what Mishal felt? She never expressed her feelings for Hammad or any person for that matter. All I could ever feel was that she was really into me. Just me. How could I go wrong here? How could I not interpret her true feelings all this while? Every time I was around her, every moment that I spent with her, I always had a feeling she had a thing for me. Every time she looked into my eyes, I felt she was looking right into my soul, feeling every beat of my heart. Every time I heard her heartbeat, I felt it was beating for me. Every time I felt her breath on me, I felt she was only breathing for me. Mum was worried about me breaking her heart. She told me to be careful around her. What would she say when she knew I was the one who got heartbroken and not her? As I managed to pull one more beer bottle from the box, I heard the sliding sound of the balcony door. I got panicked for a few seconds. Who could be outside? What if someone broke in? ‘Who’s there?’ I called out, but there was no response. Rubbing my eyes, I struggled to stand on my feet and held myself together to see who was at the window. Thankfully, I was not fully intoxicated–I was still very much in my senses and knew what was happening around me. ‘Hello?’ I said again.Suddenly, I saw Mishal standing right in front of me, panting, her face glowing. Was I dreaming? Was I hallucinating? I was surely intoxicated because there was no way I could find Mishal in my room. ‘Daniel?’ Mishal's lips moved, and she called my name. Wait, what? Was she really here? I squinted my eyes at her, trying to convince myself that I was only hallucinating and nothing else. ‘Are you okay, Daniel?’ Mishal asked in a whisper, her face filled with concern, as she reached out to me.I took a few steps back, still contemplating hard to believe she was really there. ‘Mishal, are you really here?’She furrowed her brows. ‘Yes, I’m here.’ Despite me trying to maintain some distance from her, she reached out for my arm and held my hand in hers. ‘Are you okay?’ Only when she touched my hand did it dawn on me that she was really in my room. I could not believe how she mustered the courage to come here. How she managed to cross all boundaries and just come looking for me. I frowned, shaking my head lightly. ‘Why are you here, Mishal? You shouldn’t be here.’‘I tried contacting you—sent you so many texts, made so many phone calls, but there was no response from your side. I was hell worried for you… and I just wanted to make sure you were okay…’ she said in a persistent voice, holding my hand firmly. I shook my head again, realizing she had made a bad move by coming to my room as I was drunk. ‘You shouldn’t be here, Mishal. You shouldn’t.’‘I couldn’t stop myself from coming here. I had to come and see you.’‘Now is not the right time,’ I whispered, looking into her eyes. She drew closer to me. ‘Why not?’Why couldn’t she smell alcohol on my breath yet? Or perhaps she had no idea how beer smelled. I decided to tell her myself and make her leave. I knew she would probably hate me forever, but I did not have any choice. ‘You should go, Mishal. Please.’‘I won’t. I won’t go until you tell me what’s wrong with you.’ She was more stubborn than I’d imagined. ‘I’m not in my right state of mind.’She furrowed her brows. ‘What do you mean?’‘I’m drunk…’She raised her brows, surprised. ‘Oh.’I chewed my lower lip, ashamed. ‘I’ve had a few bottles.’‘Do you drink often?’‘No…’ I replied abruptly, in my defense. ‘Not often. Only when I’m upset.’‘And why were you upset?’I cast my eyes downwards, silent. Mishal raised her toes as far as she could in an attempt to be on the same eye level as me and held my chin so I could meet her eyes. Embarrassed as hell, I looked back into her eyes. ‘Why were you upset, Daniel?’ she whispered as she held my chin in her hands, her warm breath on my face. ‘I found out something…’She gulped and sighed. ‘So… do you know?’I nodded. ‘Yes, I know.’She closed her eyes for a few seconds and removed her hand from my chin, lowering her feet.  Her facial expression gave away everything, but I needed to listen from her. With a heavy heart, I asked, ‘Are you in love with him?’She looked up at me, confused. ‘What?’‘Are you really in love with him?’ I repeated the question to her.‘With whom?’ she asked, a surprising look on her face. ‘Hammad…’She made a scowling face. ‘Where did Hammad come from?’I could not fully comprehend her reaction. ‘Daniel, how can you think something like that?’ she asked, annoyed. I shook my head in confusion. ‘Hammad told me you were in love with him... and that… you two were going to get married.’Her face fell in shock. ‘Did he really say that?’‘Yes,’ I said, breathless, silently hoping the reality turned out to be something else. ‘And… and you fell for what he said?’ she asked. I was silent—I did not know what to tell her. ‘You chose to believe him instead of asking me about it first? Really?’Anxious, I chewed my lower lip again, my heart beating loudly against my chest. ‘Is our friendship so low that you did not even bother asking me about it?’ she asked. I could tell she was super upset. I had hurt her so badly. ‘I’m… I’m sorry,’ I stammered, my lips shaking with fear of abandonment. I did not want to lose her. I could not lose her. She held my arm, looking into my eyes. ‘You really thought I had feelings for Hammad?’I shook my head, lowering my eyes. Her face softened. ‘How could I have feelings for someone else when I have been thinking about you all this while?’Hearing those words from her came out as a huge surprise for me. I looked back into her eyes, wondering if I heard her right. She broke the distance between us, drawing closer to me, and slowly held my face in her hands. I bent down to her eye level. She began, ‘I only have true feelings for you, Daniel. I haven’t felt for any person the way I feel for you. I hope this proves everything, and you believe me.’‘I believe you,’ I managed to say as I carefully caressed her cheek with my fingers. She smiled, her eyes becoming watery. I wiped off the tear from the corner of her eye and smiled back at her. ‘I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you to someone else… I was envious… I was dying from the inside. I couldn’t process it at all. It was like… like I was losing a piece of myself… a piece of my heart and soul… and I did not know how to live without it.’Her face scrunched up in worry, and she slowly rested her hand against my cheek. ‘I can’t ever lose you, Mishal… Never ever. I want you all to myself. Does… does that make any sense to you? I do not know what it’s called… infatuation or love… whatever it is… I feel something strongly for you… and I can’t just let go of…’Before I could complete the sentence, Mishal drew closer to me and hushed me by pressing her lips against mine. As soon as our lips crushed against each other, I forgot everything. I forgot the world existed. The time had stopped. Our heartbeats became one. Our breaths entwined. We were in a completely different universe. She softly pressed her lips against mine and moved them gently to encourage me to participate, and I happily obliged. As I began to push my lips against her, she paused and drew herself. With her eyes closed, a tear began to roll down her cheek. For a moment, I thought she regretted coming to my room, confessing her feelings to me, and then kissing me. But, I couldn’t let my mind become crowded with any negative thoughts. I had to tell her how I felt for her. It was now or never. I could not let go of this chance. Slowly, I wiped the tears away from her cheek and kissed her again. To my surprise, she kissed me back. It proved she wanted it as much as I did. I lightly swept my tongue between her lips, pressing my lips against her warm, soft lips. Between our warm and slow kiss, I slid my hands up her body and cradled her face with my hands, and she put her arms around my waist. A few more seconds into the kiss, I already desired more. To prevent the situation from getting more heated, she stopped midway and following her, I did the same. She parted her lips from mine, the warmth and feel of her lips still lingering on mine. Breathless, I pressed my forehead against her and closed my eyes, feeling every inch of her. We stood there in complete silence, holding hands, our foreheads still touching.‘Do you know what this means?’ she asked in a small voice, startling me. ‘This means I am falling for you,’ I said, slowly opening my eyes to look at her. She looked back into my eyes, surprised. Perhaps she was not convinced by my answer. I chuckled slowly. ‘What?’She smiled back. ‘You’re late, because I have already fallen too hard for you.’