53. King Shit.

Chase.

✙ ☠ ✙

Loren and I are sitting outside together after dinner. The sun is still shining and we're drinking fresh lemonade.

"So, I decided I'm not going to college." Loren says suddenly, her face neutral.

"What?" I look at her, feeling super concerned.

"Yeah." She nods. "I don't know how I thought I could do it in the first place. Every time I'm in Connecticut I miss Rose like crazy.." Loren looks really sad.

I wrap my arms around her.

"It just hurt being away from her. And it was so hard to focus on school when I was constantly worried about her or missing her..." Loren takes a deep breath.

"I really wanted to go to college and get this big career and everything. But every sign was just telling me to go home. Rose needed me and so did you and Sky.. The first few months in I already knew it wasn't working but... mom kept pushing me to keep going."

"We all pushed you."

"But you meant well. And you gave me a choice. Mom just always wants us to do things her way and when we derail from that plan she gets upset." Loren shakes her head. "After what she did with you I just realized I'd been seeking approval of someone who I didn't need it from."

I can relate to that.

"Speaking of which, have you talked to her since it happened?" Lorens asks.

"No. You know, I just disappear when she comes over and when she calls I decline. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to talk to her again." I answer.

Loren nods.

"You never said you weren't feeling good at school."

"Well, I told you about my breakup and you basically said I didn't have the right to feel bad." Loren says.

I was a real jerk about that. I feel awful.

"I was wrong. I was kinda jealous.. I took it out on you. I'm sorry."

"Jealous of what?"

"Well, everyone loves you, Loren. It all just comes so easy for you. Take Aron and Sky, I had to bug them for over a year before they started liking me. You don't have to try."

"I do have to try, though. I always feel like I have to put on this act. Well.. I don't even have to put it on now anymore.. It just happens.. Maybe I'm just so used to it by now that I don't even consider talking about certain things. The heavy things, I guess."

Sounds like I'm not the only one who felt our mom's pressure. It always seemed so easy for her.

"Even with us?" I ask.

"It's a bad habit."

"You can trust me. I promise I'll listen to you next time."

Loren smiles at me softly.

We share a long embrace.

× × ×

The next morning I bang on Aron and Sky's door since I forgot my key.

The door opens.

"What is your problem?" Sky says looking very sleepy and very grumpy.

"What is your problem? You look like you haven't slept." I go on inside.

Sky closes the door behind me and leans against it.

"Rose is teething, Aron is cramming and I'm trying to write." Sky says in a low voice before slamming his head against the door. "I'm exhausted."

"Why didn't you call me? I can watch Rose so you can sleep or work or whatever."

"Don't you have school?"

"Today I start at twelve. Take the morning off."

"You're an angel." Sky walks over to me an gives me a hug. "Thanks."

"No problem." I say.

He pulls away.

"Is Rose sleeping?"

"Yeah—"

We suddenly hear loud wailing from Rose's room.

Sky groans and leans against me. "I hate kids."

"Don't say that."

"I do, though. I wish she was grown up already."

He's just in a bad mood.

"So, what do I do?" I ask.

"Massage her gums, give her ice cubes to suck on. That sorta thing. I always sing to her to calm her down."

"Aww."

"Yeah, well it only works sometimes." Sky sighs.

"Okay, don't worry. I'll take care of her."

Sky squeezes my arm and shuffles to the bedroom. He's like a zombie.

I go over to the nursery and take Rose out of her crib.

"Are you sad? You don't have to be sad." I say softly.

She keeps on crying and screaming but I feel weirdly calm. Maybe it's because of Ant. I'm just too happy about him to be swayed by anything else. That was actually what I came here for. To tell Sky and Aron about Anthony but I guess that'll just have to wait.

"Shhhh.." I massage Rose's gums. "See? It's all good."

Rose seems to feel a bit better now. Poor girl, it must really hurt. I kiss her temple.

"You'll be fine."

After a while of massaging she's calmed down. I have her on my lap and I'm humming since I can't sing for shit.

I look at her face and she's blinking very slowly.

I run my hands through her white blonde hair. It's already so long, it reaches her shoulder.

After a while I check back in and Rose is asleep again.

× × ×

I pull up at school (In my car which I'm allowed to drive again?!!!) a little before twelve. My heart's pounding like a drum. I can't wait to see Anthony again.

Just as I slam the door of my blue car, Anthony arrives at school on his pick motorcycle. An uncontrollable smile covers my face.

"Hey there." I say when I reach him.

"Hi." He says before taking off his helmet.

I seriously want to kiss him. Though I guess that would be weird. No one at school knows that I'm gay. Though I guess that doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter anymore what people think because the only people in this school that I care about are Anthony and Fawn.

Just as I'm about to kiss him the bell rings and we have different classes.

"I'll see you at lunch, okay?" Anthony says before walking inside.

"Yeah. See you then."

I watch him strut into school. I daydream about him and then I realize I too have a class to get to.

I run into the school and into my classroom as fast as I can.

The teacher glares at me but then carries on his speech.

I look into the classroom.

I shiver as I realize the only seat available is the one next to Alex.

No, please, God, not this! I can't sit next to him! Anyone but him!

With a defeated sigh I go over to Alex's table. He has his feet up on the empty chair.

"Hey, can I sit here?" I say against my own will.

"This seat is taken. My feet need a place to rest and I'm afraid they're a bit more useful than you are."

"Come on, Alex. Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you?"

"Just keep walking, fag."

I ball my fists as anger courses through my veins. "Take that back." I say in a low voice.

"Mr. Chambers? Will you please sit down?" Mr. Reynolds says annoyed.

"I'm trying to but he won't move!"

"Oh, come on boys. This isn't kindergarten. Alex—"

"Yeah, yeah.." Alex grumbles as he takes his feet off the chair.

I sit down feeling annoyed and exposed. Imagine if the whole school knew about me and Ant. They probably wouldn't just be calling me names anymore. They'd start beating me up. Freshman year all over again. Why are thing so complicated?

"I've seen you hang out at the loser table lately. Seems like you've finally found your rightful place." Alex whispers, keeping his eyes on the board.

"Well at least they're real friends, unlike you guys."

"Can't disagree there. The only reason we even befriended you was because everyone else was expecting us to. We were just waiting for you to fuck up so that you could go back to being the loser you are." Alex says, an evil look in his eye.

I smirk. "Yeah, you're right. It was all fake. And that's exactly how fake they are right now. You're all just pretending to be each other's friends until something goes wrong. One slip up and they'd drop you like a brick."

Alex looks angry and outraged but he can't deny I'm right. He knows it's true. His face gets red with anger.

"You don't have friends. I do." I say.

"Shut the fuck up!" Alex screams, giving me a hard shove. I almost fall off the chair but manage to stand before the chair falls over.

"Alex Jenkins, get your butt to the principal's office!" Mr. Reynolds screams.

"But—"

"NOW!"

Alex stares at the teacher in anger. Then he pulls his bag off the floor and glares at me.

"You're dead." He whispers.

I can't help but laugh. I got him. And all I really did was tell the truth.

× × ×

It's lunchtime now and I'm sitting with Fawn and her new friends Louis, Ivan and Stud. Ant should be joining us soon. I'm dying to see him.

Just as I think about him he enters the cafeteria.

"WHAT IS THIS?" He says when he reaches our table.

He holds out his phone. It's a video of Alex shoving me and me just landing on my feet. Caption: KING SHIT.

"No way! How come nobody told me about this?!" Louis grabs the phone from Anthony.

"No one has ever won a fight against Alex. He's like on steroids." Ivan chimes in.

"Well, it wasn't really a fight.." I say.

"Are you kidding? He looked like a total idiot. Look at his face when Mr. Reynolds sends him away!" Louis laughs.

"You got him." Fawn says proudly.

I look up at Anthony and he seems proud too. I'm super happy to be united with him again.

He puts his hand on my shoulder and I feel really happy.

"Tone, look at this!" Fawn says, beckoning Anthony all the way to the other side of the table.

He gives me an apologetic look before sitting next to her.

"How does it feel to rule the school?" Louis holds his water bottle out to me like it's a microphone, meanwhile Stud is filming us on her phone.

"I don't rule the school." I chuckle nervously.

"Well, how does it feel to expose Alex to the world for the ass he is?" Ivan chimes in, using his pen as a microphone.

I play along. "Well, it feels pretty fucking great."

Everyone laughs and cheers.

I make eye contact with Anthony and I want nothing more than to kiss him. That's the thing I really want people to celebrate.

"Ant, you look thirsty, let's get some water." I say very unsubtle-ly.

"Oh. Yeah, sure." Anthony rises from his chair.

Stud immediately notices some tension between us. "Wow, wait. Hold on. Are you guys—"

"No. Oh my God, wait, why didn't I know this?" Louis' eyes go wide.

Anthony gives me and unsure look. "We're not—"

I grab his hand. Before he finishes his sentence I grab his hand. I don't want to hide anymore. What from? I'm dating the most beautiful, talented person in the school and I'm fucking proud of it.

Anthony looks surprised but very, very happy.

So does Fawn, I was a bit worried she wouldn't be cool with us but she is. Everyone at our table starts snapping pictures and complimenting us on how good we go together. And before I know it the whole school has noticed us holding hands. I'm so proud.

"KING SHIT!" Ivan yells.