54. Don't Forget Me

Sky.

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"You are the weirdest person I know, Chase." I say as I scroll through my phone.

"Not hating or anything, just an observation."

"I'm not that weird." Chase muses.

"You're chewing on my hair."

"Is that weird?"

I sigh. I give up.

We're hanging out in bed. Today is a very lazy day. Rose is with her mom, Aron's at school and Chase is.. In bed with me. Chewing on my hair. As he does.

"I used to chew on Loren's hair when we were little."

"And I'm sure she loved that." I say sarcastically.

"She did. She thought it made us closer."

"You're both weirdos."

"I can't chew on Anthony's hair since there's always like a ton of product in it."

"How do you manage to fit him into every sentence?" I chuckle.

"I think it's a pretty logical train of thought."

I sigh and look up from my phone.

Chase drops my hair from his mouth.

"Gross." I brush it behind my ear.

"How come it's not gross when Rose does it?" He says offended.

"Well, how would you like it if I did it to you?"

"I don't know."

I smirk at him right before pouncing on top of him.

"Ow!" He laughs.

"Sit still!" I say before taking a strand of his hair in my mouth. "How's that?"

"I don't know. My hair doesn't have feeling."

I start to pull on his hair.

"Ow! Sky, stop it!" He laughs.

I let go of his hair. "It seems you don't like it."

"Not when you do it. I do it way better."

"Yeah, cause you're the professional hair-biter around here. You know what? It wouldn't surprise me if Rose got that from you. You're a bad influence."

"Yeah, I'm a bad influence and you and Aron are saints."

"That's right." I smirk.

Chase pushes a pillow into my face.

I pull away and lay on my side next to him. "So when am I going to meet your boyfriend?" I ask.

I still haven't seen this guy. Steven tells me he's fine and everything but I know what to look out for. I low key kind of hate him already. Chase has no taste in guys and the idea of some random hurting him makes my blood boil. I wish I could pause their relationship until I met him. So they couldn't get closer before I knew he was okay. This whole thing is making me realize how protective I am over Chase.

"Not yet." Chase averts eye-contact.

"Why not? Everyone else has met him!"

"The only person they've met Anthony is because of my dad." Chase says.

"Come on, why won't you let me meet him? Is it because you know I wouldn't like him? Is it because he sucks?"

"He doesn't suck! He's great! He just.. He's.. important and I want you to like him. No, I need you to like him. If you don't, I'll die."

"Stop being dramatic."

"You and Aron are super important to me. I know Aron doesn't care who I'm with—"

"And I do?" I say offended.

"It's just.. Different. It's different with you." Chase looks down at his hand.

"So if I don't like him, you'll break up with him." I tease.

He continues to stare down at the sheets. He shrugs. "I don't know."

He's not even kidding.

"Chase, seriously. What I think shouldn't matter that much! If you like him and everyone says he's a good guy—"

"Well, you're not everyone. You're.." Chase looks up at me. His eyes are intense. "You're special to me. I just need you to like him."

Chase.

✙ ☠ ✙

"And I'm sure I will." Sky answers. He gives my shoulders a squeeze.

I feel tears start to well up in my eyes.

"Hey.. What's going on?" Sky asks.

He moves closer and wipes the tears from my eyes.

I lean in and hold him tightly.

"What's wrong?" Sky rubs my back.

"I feel like everything's changing." I say quietly.

It's fucked up. But somehow it feels like I'm betraying Sky by being with Anthony. I know it's deluded, not true and not right. But it really feels that way. I've been in love with Sky for years and years. We've been through so much together. It feels like he's a part of me. And somehow I always held on to the idea that him and I belonged together. And now that that idea is slipping away, it feels like part of him is slipping away. I feel confused and so guilty it's not even normal.

"Maybe that's a good thing." He whispers.

I close my eyes and hold him tightly as I cry.

"You'll always be there for me right? No matter what?" I ask.

"Of course I'll always be there. I'm not going anywhere, Chase. I promise." Sky sounds really concerned.

"You don't have to worry about that." He reassures.

× × ×

When I'm around Sky, I feel like a kid again. He makes me feel protected and safe. And sometimes he scares me and he makes me worry. Sometimes I feel like a parent, sometimes I feel like a brother. Sometimes I feel like Aron.

I wonder how Sky feels about me. Well, he's told me time and time again he sees me as a brother. A little brother. But when we were in that hospital bed together.. and I was comforting him for once. I could've sworn it was different.

"Where's your mind?" Sky asks, snapping me back to reality. He's in the kitchen pouring me some juice.

"I was just thinking about us." I smile.

"Us?" He puts two drinks on the table before joining my side.

"You see me as a brother, right?" I ask.

Sky plays with his straw in thought. "I guess." He shrugs.. then he frowns. He seems just as conflicted as I am.

"What does that mean?"

"It means 'for lack of a better word, yes'."

"That doesn't help me."

"Too bad." Sky snaps. He seems pretty annoyed now.

Why is he annoyed about that?

"Why are you—"

The door opens and Aron steps inside.

"Hey!" He says cheerfully.

Sky gives him a kiss on the cheek before heading out to the balcony without saying another word.

"What's his deal?" Aron asks.

"I guess I pissed him off." What I said wrong is beyond me.

"Well, that's not very hard to do. He's been in a shitty mood a lot lately." Aron grabs the back of my neck.

"So what's this I hear of a boyfriend?" Arons smirks.

I smile as my mind goes back to Anthony.

"It's pretty new."

"Well, how come everyone has met him but us, huh? Best man? Are you keeping secrets?" Aron kicks my foot playfully. I kick him back.

"No." I cross my arms.

I look at the balcony. "How about next week? We'll be on summer break. And you and Sky are throwing that party to celebrate Sky's job, right? I'll bring him."

"That's perfect!"

I nod. My eyes avert to the balcony again.

"Talk to him." Aron sighs. "Just tell him the truth. You'll be fine." Aron gives my shoulder a squeeze before heading to his study. I guess he figured we could use some alone time.

I open the door. It's a very windy day today. Sky's hair billows in the wind as he leans on the balcony railing.

I hear a very audible sigh leave Sky's mouth.

"Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not."

"Why aren't you just honest with me?" Now he's starting to work on my nerves.

"What's going on with you?" I ask.

He doesn't respond. He just stares out at the city.

"Sky!" I grab his arm. He pulls away.

"What do you even like about me?" Sky speaks softly.

I stand next to him. I'm beyond confused now.

"You said so yourself, things are changing. And if all you ever felt for me was infatuation then what will we have if that's over?"

"Is that really what you think?" It's almost offensive how he reduces my feelings for him down to infatuation.

"I wasn't infatuated with you, I was in love with you." Sky looks into my eyes. "And it wasn't because you look the way you do or because you were impossible for me to get. It was because you're exactly who you are. And I'll always love that about you. No matter who I date or who you marry. I like everything about you. You've changed a lot over the years..."

I squeeze the railing. "And I still love you." I say it quietly. I don't know why.

Sky doesn't respond. I turn away from him and look at the view.

Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Or maybe I shouldn't have said it like that. But what other way is there to say it than to just say the truth?

"I love you too." Sky says suddenly. My heart skips a beat. I look at him but he refuses to look at me. Sky has never told me that before.

"I want you to be happy.." Sky twists the ring around his finger.

He takes a breath.

"Just don't forget me, okay?" Sky meets my eyes and gives me the softest smile. It melts my heart.

I pull him into my arms. "Never."