Chapter Nineteen - The Touch

AN: Things get a little steamy in this chapter. Happy Valentines Day!

The Touch

Liam's POV

Her scent...

Lilacs and sunshine. I'm a slave to it's pull.

Abigail is curled up on my office couch, her arms wrapped around her pillow. She's kicked her blanket to the floor and my lips twitch into a smile. She looks so small and fragile in sleep. So perfect.

I know why she's here. She sought out my scent for comfort. Guilt rides me. This is my doing. My mate should come to me when she needs comfort, not hide away in my office.

Standing in the doorway I let my eyes wander over her. She's wearing a white tank top and tiny blue boxer shorts that should be fucking illegal. Rubbing a hand over my mouth I fight not to linger on the curve of her ass. Her tank top is too damn thin, giving me a hint of what's hidden underneath. Soft. Pink.

My fangs sharpen.

Take her.

Shit!

I need to get a grip.

Seventeen. I repeat the number like a chant until my body calms and my heart stops hammering a wild tempo in my chest.

Shutting the door I'm enclosed in her scent. I inhale sharply, breathing her in. And once again I'm fighting my arousal. It's intense. Painful.

Walking over to the couch I pick up the fallen blanket and tuck it back around her. I tell myself it's to keep her from getting cold, but in truth her body is far too tempting. It's wrong for me to look at her sexually. It's wrong for me to even imagine it.

She's going to drive me insane.

Staring up at the ceiling I run a hand through my hair. I'm a mess and I crave a cigarette like mad. It was an old habit and lucky for me werewolves are impervious to cancer. But I'm trying to cut back. I don't know if Abigail will be immortal and I don't wish to put her at risk because of my indulgence.

The thought that she might age and die quickly follows on the heels of that thought. It's haunted me from the moment I realized she was only a half-breed. Some reach immortality, some do not. I feel as if I'm dealing with Schrodinger's cat. Until we open that box...

If Abigail does die I know I wouldn't survive it. No werewolf ever did. The mate bond was forever. One simply could not live without the other.

Do not worry of that now.

It's impossible not too. Looking at her in sleep it's hard to imagine her old and gray. In this moment she looks so damn young, indeed near child like, as much as I despise that thought.

A lock of dark hair curls over her cheek and pink lips. My hand reaches out on instinct to brush it aside, hovering mere inches from her skin. My wolf growls inside my mind, yearning for me to make the connection. I want to. So damn bad. My hand trembles to close the distance.

I pull it back with a groan. I can't even touch her. I don't trust myself.

Taking a calming breath I sit by her legs, leaning forward and resting my arms on my knees. My instincts urge me to reach out, to pull her against me, and feel her warmth. I resist, clasping my hands together tightly until my knuckles turn white.

I struggle in silence, opening myself further to her emotions. They're a storm. They have been since the moment I sank my fangs into her neck. She's scared. She's angry. She's sad. She wants me. She hates me.

I close my eyes briefly and let it all flow over me. Her suffering only intensifies my own. It's a fitting punishment. One I deserve.

Samuel's right I can't resist her. I may not have agreed with my wolfs choice, but the decision is made. I can't deny it. And honestly, I don't really want to. Abigail is everything I've ever wanted. Everything I need.

She is made for us.

And yet I can't have her. Not without putting her at risk.

You are alpha. Fear does not dictate your actions.

Damn it. I can't think with my wolf so on edge. I need my mind at peace. For one fucking night.

Very well.

He finally relents, slipping back into the dark recess of my mind. It's a temporary reprieve. One moment of weakness and I would be lost to him.

Abigail murmurs in her sleep, drawing back my attention. I feel her begin to stir awake. My body tenses but I don't move, watching as her eyes slowly flutter open. Her gaze meets mine through the dark, her green eyes growing wide.

"Liam," she gasps, sitting up stiffly. Her emotions are a kaleidoscope of fear, embarrassment, and yearning.

The yearning is what causes my jaw to clench. "Abigail," I respond tightly.

Her gaze drops immediately, her hands wrapping the blanket tighter around herself. "I'm sorry," she says timidly.

Her voice is thick and husky from sleep. It's sexy as hell and it takes me a moment before I can respond. "For what?"

Her cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink. "Sleeping in your office."

Fuck. I have to touch her. Reaching out I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her onto my lap. She curls into me as if she can't resist either, her face burying against my chest. Her small fingers twist in my shirt, holding onto me. It's an unconscious action on her part, one she's done since the first day we met.

I just stop the growl of possessiveness from rising up my throat. "It's fine."

"Aren't you mad at me?" she mumbles against my shirt.

Squeezing my eyes shut I let my hands roam down her back and over her hips. My fingers slip under her shirt, her skin soft and smooth under my rough palms. I hear Abigail give a little moan. She likes having my hands on her. I can feel the pleasure it gives her.

I shouldn't be touching her like this. I shouldn't be touching her at all.

My fingers clench around her waist, forcing my hands to stay in place. "I'm not mad, pet," I manage to finally rasp, my voice thick and guttural.

She clears her throat nervously. "Why aren't you with...Amelia?"

I barely comprehend the question. Having her so close clouds my mind. Dipping my head I nuzzle her hair. God, her scent. It's like a drug and I can't get enough hits. "Why would I be?" I grate.

"I thought you two were together." There's a catch in her voice and I can feel her pain and jealousy.

"Abigail," I sigh. "That won't happen with Amelia or anyone else."

"It wont?" her muffled voice asks slowly. Her head is still hidden against my chest. She's avoiding me.

"Look at me, pet," I order gently.

She peeks up at me slowly, her big eyes glistening with unshed tears and something else...

Desire.

Cupping her chin I brush my thumb over her bottom lip. Her lips are so damn soft and plump. Before I can rationalize my actions I tug her towards me. She's a temptation I can't resist and with a growl I claim her mouth. Her taste is so damn good and exactly how I remembered - mint and cherries.

Abigail's reaction is immediate, like a match to flame. With a deep moan her arms wrap around my neck, her body pressing against me fully. She fits against me perfectly and it sends me right to the edge. My hand cups the back of her head, fisting that glorious hair. I change the angle of our kiss, holding her firm. I take everything her mouth has to offer. Hard. I'm too rough. Too wild. But I can't stop.

And she doesn't want me too. I can feel her need. It's powerful and heady.

This isn't enough. Not even close.

"Abby," I murmur thickly.

Her fingers tug urgently at my hair. "Don't stop, please."

The way she begs. The dominant part of me revels in it. I pull her head back roughly, my lips trailing down her neck, settling over my mark. I draw the scarred flesh between my lips, sucking hard enough to bruise.

Abigail jolts against me, a rush of pleasure pouring off of her. "Yes," she whimpers.

I suck harder, my fangs scraping her skin. Abigail's emotions are nothing but pleasure and lust. Wave after wave. She settles further on my lap, her knees straddling my thighs. Then she starts to move, her hips rocking. Grinding.

"Oh, fuck," I groan against her skin.

I steel myself against the rock of her hips, struggling not to buck up and meet each thrust. I'm painfully hard. It's maddening, my body tense and throbbing.

The way she moves. Sensual. Experienced. She can't possibly be a virgin. No innocent moves like this.

That thought both excites me and causes an intense wave of possessiveness. My claws elongate, digging into her skin. I want to tear her clothes off. I want my mouth all over her. I want to make her mine.

My claws bite into her skin. I'm hurting her.

With a hiss I break away. "Abigail-"

"Please," she keens.

Shit! Her begging sends my lust to heights I've never known. My hand is still in her hair, clenching and unclenching. I can't seem to let her go. I don't want to deny her but I can't take it.

"I can't," I snarl. I should push her away but I only pull her closer.

"Please, Alpha." She begs so sweetly, lost to her desire. Her body is taut, ready to snap, and every instinct screams at me to give her what she needs.

I groan. "You know we can't."

"Don't say it," she whispers, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"You're too young," I utter brokenly.

Her hands tug on my hair. "Liam," she croaks. "Alpha...please."

She's killing me. Literally ripping my heart out and setting my body on fire all at once. She's staring up at me, pleading. Her eyes are heavy with desire. They remind me of a forest, bright greens with flecks of black.

I shut my eyes, fighting the pull. I'm all but helpless to deny her.

She can never know the power she holds over me.

"Enough," I rumble. My voice is more aggressive than I intend but it ends my torment. Abigail freezes, her face flushed with embarrassment. Just like that she's gone from hot and needy to cold and stiff.

She swallows hard. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

I do. Pressing my forehead against hers I struggle to come back down from the high she's put me on. "We're mates, Abigail. You can't deny the pull."

Her gaze drops. "But you can."

Damn it. My breathing is erratic and I know she can feel how hard I am for her. I just tongue fucked her mouth like a wild animal. How can she doubt how much I want her? "I can't," I ground through clenched teeth.

"You said-"

"I know what I said. And I wanted too. I tried. But I can't." Stroking her cheek I admit roughly, "I can't resist you."

Her eyes well further. It's painful for me to see her this way. I hate it when she cries. "I don't understand."

And I can't tell her. Not yet. "You need to sleep, pet," I say with a loud sigh. "You have school in a few hours."

"I can't sleep." She sounds so torn and broken.

Clenching my jaw I rasp, "I know." Picking her up bridal style I carry her out of my office and back to my bedroom. She doesn't fight me or protest. There's trust, even though I've done nothing thus far to deserve it.

Lying her on the mattress I try to ignore how good she looks in my bed with her dark hair spread over my pillows.

She gives me a look of confusion.

I tuck her in quickly, avoiding further questions. "Go to sleep."

Abigail gives me a deep frown. "But..."

"I'll be on the couch," I inform her. She looks like she wants to argue. Brushing a lock of hair from her forehead I order gently, "Sleep."

"Alright," she grumbles, rolling over.

I can't help but smile. So damn cute. "Good night, pet."

"Good night, Alpha," she mumbles.

The way she says 'Alpha' causes my smile to fade. It's forced. "When we're alone you can call me Liam."

She turns her head back towards me. "I can?"

I nod, my lips pressed into a thin line. She looks so adorable and hopeful and I want to kiss her again.

"Okay." The word is simple, belying her happiness. I can feel it. She's so pleased over such a simple thing.

Rolling back over she snuggles down into the pillows, clutching one to her chest. I linger over her, a looming dark shadow. But she doesn't seem to mind and in moments she's sleeping peacefully.

It's nearly an hour before I can tear myself away from her, going outside on the balcony for a smoke. Lighting a cigarette I give a sigh of relief as my body relaxes, if only marginally. Despite the cold I take my time, the smoke curling above my head and into the night.

Staring up at the moon I fight not to let the memory of kissing Abigail drive me wild. But it continues to play over and over again in my head. I know I can't have what's she's so willing to give me. And yet I don't know how much longer I can resist.

I'm slipping over the edge. Fast.

Between my mate and my wolf I might just lose my mind.