Knot My Sin: Chapter 7

Running into the woods seemed like the safest place to go when the rain started to fall when I left the pack’s home. Except now, it doesn’t seem like such a great idea.

Racing through the rain, I scream when a lightning bolt hits the log in front of me. Breathing hard, I moan as I bend over in pain.

“What the fuck is happening?!” I scream. Taking a step, slick begins to pool in my panties, and dread builds in my body. “No, no, please no.”

Back at the house, I started sweating, but I didn’t think anything of it. Flynn seemed worried too when I left.

Did he have any idea my heat was hitting?

“I have more time, I have to,” I mutter as I continue to stumble along. One foot in front of the other is all that matters as I half run, half fall through the woods. The only thing saving my feet from being torn up are these damn boots.

There’s a river raging next to me, and I shake my head as I take a step toward it.

It’ll be cool there. It’ll only take a second, and everything will end.

“No,” I rasp. “Not yet.”

Turning away, I keep running. If I’m moving, then I’m alive. I need to get far away from the alphas, I can’t be weak and go crawling back. They aren’t mine, and Flynn doesn’t need me fucking up his blissful life.

God, I feel so hot.

I don’t know how long I’ve been running, but I pull off the sweatshirt I’m wearing and drop it to the ground. I’m soaked to the bone, and my clothes make my body feel as it weighs five million pounds. A wave of heat makes me sob, making me shake my head as my body shudders.

My hair flies from side to side as I scream to help take the edge off, but it doesn’t help. My stomach cramps viciously, pissed off that I’ve had the audacity to ignore it for so long.

“Please. Oh, God it hurts so much,” I keen. I need to be fucked. I need a knot. I need.

Gazing around in a daze, I’m grateful there’s no way I could even get back to Flynn and his alphas, because I am thoroughly lost. Another wave of pain makes me bend over as I scream into the void. The trees don’t care how loud I am, nor does it care for my pain. I suppose that’s fair. Kindness isn’t something I’m well accustomed to anyway.

Gasping as I continue to stumble along, I stop watching where I’m going and trip on a raised root, grunting as I hit the ground. Groaning as I lay in the fetal position, my head drops back as I pant. The pains give me a small reprieve, which makes my mind race with thoughts.

It would have been better if Trey had just killed me. It’s cruel to have a scent match, know who he is, and understand he’ll never be mine.

My brain is my own internal mean girl. I haven’t had friends since I was a young girl, but I remember how they’d act in school. Instead, my brain likes to twist my experiences, and then tell me that I deserved them. Every slap, every forced experience, every punishment Trey set out for me. I brought it all upon myself in some way.

“God,” I mewl as a flush slowly moves over my body. It feels like I’m being baked alive. Keening, I writhe on the ground. If there was an alpha with a knot anywhere near me, I would beg for him to fuck me.

The base reality of instincts and evolution is humbling when you’re in the middle of it. I never want to do this again.

The doctor said the hormonal suppression therapy could ruin my ability to have a heat. Surprise! He was wrong. My body is finding a way to fuck me over yet again.

Forcing myself onto my hands and knees, I begin to crawl across the floor. Everything in me is telling me to keep moving, so I obey my instincts. The wind tears at my hair and clothing, while I’m half blinded by the rain. The canopy of trees makes everything feel darker, more depressing.

I can’t tell if the sun is setting or not, though it doesn’t matter right now. The heat begins to melt me from the inside out, forcing me to pull off each of my shirts. Tossing and crawling is how I continue on, until I’m also pulling off my boots, shoes, and my sodden jeans.

Standing, I feel a little better, a bit more weightless, allowing me to continue pressing on. I don’t know what my destination is, all I know is I need to keep walking. My heat is a fickle bitch, making me think I can handle the pain and that things are actually getting better.

Unfortunately, as I start to climb over a log, having left my clothes behind me, a pain rips through me that makes me scream.

“Help me,” I beg, my voice cracking as I scream. Tears begin to fall again, because I know that no one will.

You’re an abandoned omega, Wren. Find a place to lay down and die.

I can hear rain and something else in the distance, but it could be an animal for all I know about the woods. I’ve lived inside four walls my entire life, with little real world experience.

My head feels light as I push my body off the log, and I keep falling. Screaming mindlessly, I hit the ground, and continue to roll as my body thumps along for the ride. There’s water once I hit the bottom, as well as mud. Whimpering, I try to lift myself up, until I realize I’ve fallen into a ravine.

The water is rising from all the rain, and the silt at the bottom where I’m laying is thick, feeling like sludge. I’m exhausted, there’s no way out, but the water feels nice.

Forcing myself to keep my nose above the water as it slowly closes over me, I let my mind do what it does best. I think of Flynn’s lopsided smile when he made me breakfast, the care he took to find clothes, and get lost in my mind. Alternate versions of a reality develop to distract me, pretty dreams that can never be. All too quickly, the pain overtakes me and I wordlessly scream under the water.

Lightning hot, indescribable agony makes me thrash, my fingers curling into claws. My thighs rub together to find friction that never comes, until darkness finally overtakes me. Drifting, listless, blissful gloom is my life now until the water drowns me.

I have no one to miss me, so I just let go, somehow buoyed by the mud and water so that I can still breathe. It can’t last forever, all small favors from the universe have to end.

Two days later

Every day I’ve been out here with the guys, searching for Wren. We spread the net further and further out as we look, and Flynn is obsessed with walking by the river to search for her.

His eyes are crazed with grief as he walks at the edge of the raging river, and one of us insists on staying with him at all times.

I’m several miles from the house on the Razor, my eyes scouring the ground for anything that may tell me where she went. I can see a dingy white sweatshirt ahead of me, and I drive faster to get to it.

This has to be hers.

Bringing the vehicle to a stop, I turn the engine off and get out. Picking up the sweatshirt, I bring it to my nose, but all I can smell is the mustiness of the leaves and the clean scent of rain. Frowning, I continue to move on foot, finding more articles of clothing. It’s as if Wren started to strip as she walked, which is what Flynn does in his heat. Nothing can touch his skin… except us.

Wincing, I continue to find a boot, a sock, but no omega.

Pulling out the radio, I call my pack brothers.

“I found her clothes about five miles from the house,” I tell them. “Grab the other Razor we brought with us and come find me. I’m northeast of the river.”

At first, we tried to stay close to the river, sure she’d do the same. Who knows what her thoughts are as she’s slowly being driven mad with pain.

Taking a shuddering breath, I try to find what I’m missing. It isn’t raining anymore, but the leaves are wet, creating a camouflage over hidey holes. The forest can change in a blink of an eye, and there are new bodies of water where it wasn’t there before.

The ground is soft and muddy, so I’m careful as I walk. Ambrose was right, it would be really easy to fall with how saturated the soil is.

“Wren!” I call out again, my voice hoarse from yelling. Sighing, I wonder if Flynn is right.

Could she be Jasper’s sister?

I drop my head back as I stare up at the canopy of trees. The sky is gloomy and gray, matching my mood exactly.

“Harley!” I yell, not expecting an answer.

“Help,” I hear a weak voice say, making my heart start to pound.

Fuck.

Throwing caution to the wind, I stare at the logs that are ahead of me. It looks like a bunch of tree branches also fell onto the ground from the fury of the wind. Moving forward, I continue calling her name as I look for a body, no, a person, who is incapacitated.

A bubble of hope starts to build as I find another boot. It’s covered in mud, leaves, and sludge, but it’s evidence that she is nearby.

“Harley!” I scream out again. “Come on, sweetness. Tell me where you are!”

There’s not another sound other than echoes of my voice, making me growl. Prowling forward, I look for signs that something has been disturbed. Leaning over the giant log, my lips part as I see a deep ravine where the soil eroded from the rain.

I can hear the guys’ voices, but I can’t say anything because at the bottom of the ravine is a crumpled body mostly covered with water and leaves. Her wet, dark-brown hair is plastered to her naked body, and she doesn’t respond again when I say her name.

Swallowing hard as my heart pounds, I turn my head to yell for help.

“I’m over here and I’ve found her,” I roar. “I’m going to need help to get her out, though.”

My eyes never leave Wren as my pack surrounds me.

“Fuck,” Ambrose moans softly, staring down at her. “Flynn…”

“I don’t want to wait, but I get it. I’ll help you out as you climb back out,” Flynn says dejectedly. “Just get her out. Please.”

Our omega has been a shell of his normal self, unable to stop crying, unable to eat. Ambrose, Everest and I have been beside ourselves, but determined to find Wren as well. It’s clear she’s important, even if we don’t understand why.

“We got her, baby boy,” I promise, squeezing his shoulder. “I love you. Thank you for staying safe, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he breathes as we hand him our electronics.

Ambrose kisses Flynn’s temple before following me as I walk down the ravine. It’s narrow, and I fall on my ass several times. Everest takes the other side and simply slides down to the bottom, making a small splash.

Classic Everest. Path of least resistance for the win.

“You good?” I ask as I pick my way to the bottom with Ambrose.

“Yeah. No time to wait,” he grunts as he lifts Wren into his arms. “Come on little omega. Let’s see what hurts.”

Her head lolls back, making my stomach drop as I slide the rest of the way down.

“I’ll check for a pulse,” I grunt. Everest’s arms are full, so I search for a pulse once I’m next to them.

Ambrose’s intense dark eyes follow my motions. People say he’s soulless, but it’s possible he feels things the most.

“It’s faint,” I mutter. “Let’s get her out of here.”

The deep bruises under her eyes are painful to see, and she’s so damn pale. Her skin is freezing cold now, and it’s clear her heat is over.

“No wonder we couldn’t find her,” Ambrose sighs. “How did she get so far?”

Something about her draws me in, and I’m unable to help the snarl on my lips as I give in to my baser instincts. She’s hurt, I shouldn’t be doing this, but I still lean in and ghost my nose up her throat.

“Shaw!” Everest protests.

I’m lost to him as the scents of lemon, lavender, and vanilla flood my senses. I can smell dirt, the rainwater, and the mustiness of the leaves as well, but that’s not what makes me rock back in shock.

“Oh my God,” I whisper. “Get her out of here. Be careful.”

“I will. What’s wrong?” Everest asks as he moves to climb out with her.

“Shaw!” Flynn yells, making my tortured gaze rise to meet his eyes.

My omega’s chest is heaving as he drops to his knees. I know he sees the truth as he shakes his head.

“That’s why I was so drawn to her,” he rasps as I slog up the wall. It’s miserable going up, and I’m covered in mud by the time I’m close to the edge.

Flynn blinks as if shaking himself from his thoughts, his hand reaching out to help me climb up. Gasping, I lay on my back for a moment before I scramble up to help Everest with my scent match.

Fuck, I have a scent match.

“This doesn’t change what we have,” I murmur in his ear. “You’re still mine and I’m yours.”

“We’re pack,” Flynn nods as he almost over balances when he leans over the edge too far.

“Woah,” I grunt. “We are. I can’t believe she’s mine. Fuck, I fucked up so badly.”

Everest is staring at me hard as he and Ambrose climb, helping each other up. Standing, I step into the muck, leaning forward to help. Flynn immediately wraps his arms around my waist, bracing me.

“Hand her up,” I tell Everest. “It’ll be easier to get out, and I need to hold her.”

I have this overwhelming need to check on her, my heart screaming to scent her again. We know the truth, but I need to have her in my arms to force my instincts to chill.

Everest almost stumbles as he hears my words.

“Why?” he asks.

Taking a deep breath, I open my mouth to tell him the truth I only just learned.

“She’s my scent match,” Shaw says, his voice cracking. His eyes are tortured as he reveals this.

Oh my God. This girl went through her heat alone when her scent match was here the whole time. Wren is tiny in my arms as I hold her tightly as I fight to get out of what is essentially a goddamn pit.

We threw this girl to the wolves, and no matter how much I tell myself we didn’t know… We still knew there was something special about this girl. Odd, weird, strange, they’re all just excuses for what we saw in her.

Our instincts tried to tell us that she was ours, and we refused to listen. Tears attempt to blur my vision as I take a shuddering breath.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” I gasp. “Fuck.”

“She’s… what?” Amb asks as he finally fights to the top of the ravine.

I hand Wren up to Shaw who holds her tightly to his body as he buries his nose in her throat. The keen he makes is all the confirmation any of us need.

“Goddamn it,” Amb groans as he sits on the edge of the drop, his head falling into his muddy hands.

Flynn gently pushes Shaw onto more solid ground before helping me out.

“We know now,” he says, tears flowing freely. “I don’t know how she’s going to forgive any of us. We need to get to the house and call a doctor.”

“We could still lose her,” Shaw rasps, lifting his face. “Can one of you drive the Razor please?”

“I got it,” I agree. “I’ll be careful. We have precious cargo.”

Ambrose scrapes his hair back into a makeshift bun, streaks of mud matching our own faces. Dejectedly, we hurry back carefully to the vehicles. Flynn insists on sitting next to Shaw and a passed out Wren in the back, and Amb walks to the other Razor. Our electronics are dropped haphazardly on the passenger side seat, and I grab one of the radios.

“Amb, don’t forget this,” I call out to him. Turning, he holds up his hand for me to throw it to him.

Jerking his chin in my direction, he shakes his head at himself as he walks away.

“I can’t believe this,” I mutter, turning on the car.

It’s gloomy out, so I make sure to turn the headlights on as soon as I start to drive.

“I can,” Flynn grunts, brushing Wren’s hair off her face. “I wanted her from the second I saw her. An omega doesn’t bid two million dollars on just anyone. She didn’t set off my anxiety, I just wanted to know her. God, Darling, I’m so sorry.”

Our omega is head over heels for this girl, and we don’t deserve her. Fuck, I wish we could go back in time.

“Do you think she knew?” Shaw asks, his voice broken as he looks down at Wren’s face.

“I know she did. She told me to take care of you all, and then ran away as if the devil himself was chasing her,” Flynn whispers. Tears prick my eyes, but the wind dries them as quickly as they fall.

I shouldn’t cry now when I practically escorted her out the door. I played my part in this too.

“Fuck,” Shaw sighs. “I’m so sorry. God, she’s never going to fucking forgive me for this. I don’t even think I want her to. Wren deserved better than this.”

“Deserves,” Flynn bites out. “Yes, she deserves fucking everything, and we’re going to give it to her. Anything she wants, Alpha.”

“Yes,” I whisper, even as Shaw echoes me.

“I found something else too,” he mutters, looking out at the forest as I drive.

“What?” I ask, my heart starting to thud as I wait for the other shoe to drop.

“I was looking for her, and something made me wonder if she could be Harley Rivers, Jasper’s sister,” Shaw says. “I called out her name, and she responded. I don’t know if she remembers what it was like to be Harley, or if she’s blocked it out, but when she was out of her mind with pain and before she passed out, that’s what she responded to.”

“We found Jasper’s sister and then sent her out to die,” I mutter.

“She’s not dead yet!” Flynn screams. “Wren, Harley, whatever she calls herself or identifies as, is alive. As long as she remains so, we can fix this. No more making her out to seem broken or odd. There has to be a reason she doesn’t like to speak.”

Ideas as to what’s possibly happened to her flood my mind, each worse than the last. Our world is a scary place for an omega without a family. If she’s Harley, then she was sold at an impressionable age.

What the fuck would an alpha even do with a ten year old?!

My gorge rises as my mind runs wild, making me swallow hard as I drive carefully up onto the main road. Amb follows me, nodding to show he’s right behind me.

If the omega passed out in Shaw’s arms is Harley, no wonder she hasn’t said a damn word to any of us. Hearing her speak is a privilege none of us deserve. The drive up to the house feels interminable, and I call the doctor as soon as I drive through the gate.

Wren needs to get heated up, a warm shower, and fluids.

Hold on little omega, just hold on.

Everest is quiet as he drives us home, though I see him rub his eyes several times. We’re all trying to hold onto the jagged pieces of our mistakes, but Wren is my focus right now. As soon as the Razor is parked, I bail from the vehicle, watching as Shaw gets out.

“She needs to get warm,” I blurt out. “Take her up to our room, the tub is bigger there.”

Shaw barely nods, his eyes on Wren as he walks into the house. Everest already has the door opened, and Ambrose puts our cars in the garage as we enter. My alpha needs a shower himself, his thick hair is covered in mud and leaves.

The three of us thunder up the stairs, and I hear Ambrose on our heels not long afterward. Everest starts the hot water in the tub, and Shaw looks at a loss as he glances down at Wren. We didn’t have a blanket with us in the Razor, and she’s wearing panties and nothing else.

Pulling off my clothes, I wince when I remember I don’t wear boxers.

“Ambrose, can you get me a pair of swim trunks, please?” I ask when he pops his head into the bathroom.

Nodding, he doesn’t even ask why I need it before he’s returning with the item I asked for. Pulling on the trunks, I reach out for Wren.

“I’m the safest one to do this,” I tell him gently. His instincts are riding him hard, his nostrils flaring as his chest heaves. “You can sit with me and help me wash her hair, Shaw. Okay? Help me take care of your omega.”

Tears slide down his face as he nods, gasping as he carefully hands her to me.

Stepping into the warm water, I submerge both our bodies slowly. Wren whimpers, making me wince.

“It’s okay, Darling. Have to get you warm. Blue lips aren’t a great color on anyone,” I rasp.

Ambrose keeps his eyes on us as he strips and turns the shower on.

“You should all shower while you can before the doctor comes. If you all get sick, I won’t deal with your cranky asses,” I say.

“Who’s the alpha?” Shaw grumbles as he pulls his clothes off.

Glancing at him drolly, I roll my eyes. “Get your cute ass moving. You’re helping me wash Wren’s hair, remember?”

Fire lit, my lips twitch as Everest tears off his clothes and joins them to shower off the grime and mud from the forest. I simply enjoy the weight of the omega in my arms, happy to hear her breathe after her past absence from my life.

Her body cuddled in my lap, I pick up some body wash and begin to clean her body. I’m going to need to remove her panties at one point, but I don’t want to yet. Nudity isn’t usually a big deal, however she can’t consent to letting me wash her body.

Nonetheless, she’s shivering, so I hold her tightly as I clean off the dirt from her run through the forest, talking softly to her as I work.

“Flynn, am I dreaming?” Wren whispers. Her voice is scratchy and tired, and I focus on her as the guys finish their shower.

Damn, I don’t really want her first view of her alphas naked to be like this.

“No, Darling, you’re not. We found you,” I tell her. “You’re safe.”

“But you’re not,” she says with a wince. “Something… I need to tell you.”

“You’re Shaw’s scent match,” I respond. “We know, little omega.”

“You’re… not mad?” she asks haltingly.

I wish she’d been able to talk to me about this before she ran off. It would have made things easier.

“Never,” I say, my lips trembling as I smile down at her. “It just means I get to keep you. You can be mad, make us grovel, but you’re ours, Little One.”

Wren sighs before she faints again in my arms, making me curse as I sit up a bit so her head doesn’t hit the edge of the tub.

“You okay?” Ambrose asks as the water shuts off and they begin to dry off.

“She woke up for a moment before she passed out again,” I explain. “She asked… if I was upset with her about being Shaw’s scent match.”

“And?” Shaw grunts as he wraps the towel around his waist and steps out of the shower.

“I told her I could never be mad about something that made her ours,” I reply.

My three alphas stand in front of me in silence, making me glance up at them.

“You could hate her and be within your rights,” Everest says first.

“You could hate me,” Shaw rumbles.

“I don’t and never could,” I tell them.

Ambrose’s lips twitch as he shakes his head. “You’re the best of all of us, baby.”

Everest and he leave the room to get dressed, and Shaw drops to his knees to help me wash Wren’s hair. Carefully, he rinses her hair with water before beginning to shampoo it.

Watching him, I notice the way Shaw’s muscles bunch as he works the product into her hair before carefully rinsing it. When the water changes color due to the mud, he drains the tub and then refills it with clean, warm water. Never once does he show impatience, just determination as he bites his lip to make sure Wren doesn’t get water or soap into her eyes.

This is the alpha who adores me in the same way, protects me, and loves me. To watch Shaw take care of his omega is humbling, but never once do I feel jealous.

“I should feel jealous, but I don’t,” I grunt as he runs the conditioner through Wren’s hair.

“Why aren’t you?” he asks as if making conversation. Instead, I can see the tension in his body as he waits to hear my response.

“I couldn’t feel jealous of someone who was meant to be part of our pack,” I explain to him. Thinking about everything she’s been through makes my eyes sting, and I’m so goddamn tired of crying. I’ve just about made myself sick. “Wren was a little lost, but she’s here now. No one will ever hurt her again.”

“Except us!” Shaw hisses, his hand slapping down on the water. Shaking his head, I can see him visibly attempt to get ahold of himself. “We hurt her. What’s to say we won’t fuck up again?”

“We could,” I sigh. “We have to do the best we can to never fuck up this badly again.”

“This can never happen again,” he says vehemently. Shaw combs his fingers through Wren’s hair as his chest rumbles for her. It naturally relaxes both of us as he rinses her hair.

“God, I can’t believe I found her. She was so hidden. If she hadn’t spoken to me…”

“If she didn’t want to be saved, she wouldn’t have,” I realize. Goosebumps rise on my skin, despite the warmth of the water. “Holy fuck, Shaw.”

“You’re right, though,” he says sadly. “We have to give her something to live for. Life gets dark, she needs light to help her find her way back.”

As we finish up and I pull off her panties to wash her quickly between her legs, Shaw wraps her in a towel and lifts her. Standing quickly, I grab a towel.

“Wait,” I tell him as I shed my swim trunks, stepping out and drying off. “Get her in one of your shirts. Preferably something you’ve worn to bed or something, okay?”

Understanding shines in his eyes as he nods. Blowing out a breath, I follow them, finding Everest dressed and waiting for us.

“The doctor is here, guys,” he says. His gaze stays on Wren, never straying from her face. “He asked to examine her somewhere she’ll be comfortable once she’s settled.”

“Here,” I grunt as Shaw removes Wren’s fluffy towel to dress her in his shirt from last night. It’s still clean, but it’s wrapped in his scent.

The little omega starts to relax as he tucks her in, her breathing growing deeper as she sleeps. Pulling myself away from her to dress, I lift up a prayer that she’ll be safe with us.

Please don’t let us break her.