29

I was frozen in shock, unsure of how to react or even if I should acknowledge her. My mind was a jumble of emotions, memories, and what-ifs. But before I could gather my thoughts, Ashley's face broke into a warm smile.

"Clyde," she said, her voice familiar yet distant.

It was a voice that had once been a constant in my life, a voice that had shared countless secrets, laughter, and tears with me.

My heart skipped a beat, and tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I managed to keep my composure. I didn't want to show her how much she still affected me, how much our past still lingered in my mind.

"Ashley," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. It was a hesitant greeting, one that was laced with caution and uncertainty.

She looked different, yet somehow the same. Her features, once sharp and fierce, had softened, and her long, wavy hair was now short and stylish. But as our eyes met, the past came flooding back - our laughter, our tears, our adventures, and ultimately, the painful end of our friendship. Memories that I had long suppressed began to resurface, and I felt like I was drowning in a sea of nostalgia.

I remembered the countless sleepovers, the late-night conversations, and the silly jokes we used to share. I remembered the way we used to finish each other's sentences, the way we used to know exactly what the other was thinking. And I remembered the way it all fell apart, the way our friendship ended in a messy, painful breakup. It was a breakup that had left me reeling, one that had taken me years to recover from. And now, here we were, standing face-to-face, with all the unresolved emotions and unanswered questions hanging precariously in the air.

I missed her, and even now, I still hope that we can revive our friendship.

"Vacation?" Ashley inquired, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. I nodded in response, and a faint smile played on her lips. I was at a loss for words, unsure whether to initiate a conversation or maintain the awkward silence.

As I gazed at Ashley, I noticed her fingers flying across the screen of her phone, her attention diverted to a text conversation with someone else.

"How are you?" Ashley asked, her question catching me off guard.

"I'm okay," I replied, trying to sound casual despite the turmoil of emotions inside me.

She turned to me, her eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that made my heart skip a beat. "I'm happy to see you doing well," she said, her voice sincere and soft.

The elevator doors slid open, and she stepped out, leaving me feeling stunned and bewildered.

As I watched her walk away, a wave of nostalgia washed over me, like an adrenaline rush to the heart. A bittersweet feeling settled on my face, a mix of sadness and longing. We used to be so close, inseparable even. And now, we were strangers, separated by time and circumstance. The realization stung, and I felt a pang of regret for what could have been.

I got into bed after finishing my nightly routine. I opened my laptop to check for any new messages from my publisher. I was hoping to see some updates on my book's progress, and I couldn't help but feel a little excited and curious.

Writing had become my sanctuary, a place where I could escape the turmoil of my thoughts. Whenever my mind was consumed by anxiety and self-doubt, I would turn to writing as a way to calm myself. It was a therapeutic outlet that allowed me to process my emotions and channel them into something creative.

Over time, my writing had given birth to numerous novels, each with its own unique storyline and characters. Interestingly, many of these stories had happy endings, but with a twist - the protagonists often didn't end up with their loved ones. It was as if my writing was reflecting my own experiences and emotions, where happiness and fulfillment didn't always come in the form of romantic love.

The idea of marriage being a happily-ever-after fairy tale is just that - a fairy tale. In reality, marriage is hard work, compromise, and growth. My own experiences had taught me that.

I chuckled to myself, realizing how naive I used to be. I remembered the countless romantic comedies I'd watched, the fairy tales I'd read, and the love songs I'd listened to, all of which had perpetuated the idea that marriage was the ultimate happy ending.

But life had a way of shattering illusions. My own marriage had been a journey of ups and downs, twists and turns. There were moments of pure joy, but also moments of frustration, anger, and disappointment. I had learned that marriage wasn't a destination, but a journey, one that required effort, commitment, and patience.

My mindset had shifted dramatically, and I now saw marriage in a different light. It wasn't the ultimate happy ending, but rather a new chapter in life, filled with its own set of challenges and rewards. Experience is a powerful teacher, and mine had certainly changed my perspective on marriage. I no longer believed in the fairy tale.

"Hindi ko matanggap 'yung ending."

I scrolled through the comments on my latest novel, and one thing caught my attention - the strong reactions to the ending. Some readers were upset, even angry, that the protagonist didn't end up with the person they thought was meant to be.

But as I read through their comments, I couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. You see, I had intentionally written the ending that way, not to frustrate or disappoint my readers, but to teach them a valuable lesson.

Life doesn't always give us the happily-ever-after we dream of. Sometimes, we don't end up with the person we think we're meant to spend our lifetime with. It's a harsh reality, and it hurts. But it's precisely this kind of pain that helps us grow, that teaches us to accept the things we cannot change, and to move forward.

Hindi dahil ilang taon na kayong nagsama kayo na talaga. Hindi dahil nakikita mo na kasama mo siya sa future mo ay kayo na talaga.

I wanted my readers to experience that pain, to feel the sting of disappointment and heartache. Because only by facing it head-on can we truly learn to accept it, and to find a way to heal and move on.

The rollercoaster of life. It's a metaphor that never gets old, because it's so relatable. Just like a rollercoaster, life takes us on a journey of ups and downs, twists and turns. One moment we're soaring high, feeling exhilarated and free, and the next we're plummeting downwards, our stomachs in knots and our hearts racing.

But that's what makes life so unpredictable and exciting, right? We never know what's around the corner, what surprise or challenge awaits us. And just when we think we've reached the peak of happiness or success, life throws us a curveball, reminding us that nothing is permanent and that change is always just around the corner.

It's a wild ride, to say the least. But it's ours, and it's what makes life worth living. So, buckle up, hold on tight, and enjoy the twists and turns of this crazy, beautiful thing called life!

And it's up to us whether we'll take the bullet or avoid it.

"Trix, the ending really hurts," Kyle, my publisher and mentor, said over the phone. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I just finished reviewing the manuscript you gave me, can you please change the ending?" he requested. - he asked.

I replied, "It is a happy ending."

Kyle countered, "But they don't end up together!" I chuckled again.

I explained, "A happy ending isn't just about ending up with the person you love. It's about being able to move forward and live happily after facing challenges. That's what a happy ending truly means."

"Why can't they be together in the end? Hindi na nga endgame, pinatay pa talaga!" he asked, pretending to sob.

I smiled and explained, "There are two lessons in the ending. First, not everything in life turns out the way we want it to. Sometimes, the person we want to spend our life with isn't the one we end up with."  As I spoke, memories of my own past experiences flooded my mind. Life rarely goes as planned, and that's a hard but valuable lesson to learn.

Sabay tayong nangarap, ngunit inabot natin 'to ng hindi kasama ang isa't-isa.

We both planned to travel the world, and I did. I traveled around the world alone, not with you, as we had originally planned.

I've started writing again, just like you always encouraged me to do. But this time, I'm doing it without you by my side, as we had once envisioned and planned together.

Nagagawa ko na ang mga plano natin, pero hindi na kita kasama.

"What's the second lesson?" Kyle asked.

"The boy's death in the end shows that no matter what we do, we can't escape our destiny, whether it's tragic or not," I replied. "It's painful and hard to accept, but we must learn to move on and live the way those who have passed on would have wanted us to."

That part of the story reminded me of my father, who had been gone for 20 years. I had spent years trying to erase the pain of his loss by avoiding memories of him and not visiting his grave. His death had been unjust, but as time passed, I realized I had been running from my grief instead of facing it. Eventually, I came to accept his passing and lived the life he would have wanted me to have.

Masakit man, ngunit kailangan nating tanggapin at magpatuloy.

"People really do have different opinions, noh?" he said. "Your interpretation of a happy ending is different from mine. For me, I can only call it a happy ending if they end up together or get married in the end."

I paused, lost in thought, as I reflected on his words. That's how I used to see happy endings too. Growing up, I was an avid fan of romance and happy endings, and I was convinced that marriage was my path, my happy ending. But that changed.

"Anyway, let's talk about work," he said, shifting the conversation. "The Manila International Book Fair is next month, and you're the most in-demand author to attend. I think this is the perfect timing to launch your first self-published book."

I paused, taken aback. "Are you saying I'll finally have to reveal my identity in public and go back to the Philippines?" I asked, trying to process the idea.

"Yes, if you're ready," he replied. "You're a big deal in the Philippines now, and you deserve more recognition."

I sighed, feeling a mix of emotions. I was ready to finally show myself in public, but going back home was a different story. My mom and brother had been trying to convince me to return for a while, but I kept rejecting the idea. I wasn't sure if I was ready to face my past and go back to the life I left behind.

"And aside from MIBF, I have another offer for you," he said.

"Ano?" I asked, curious.

"They want to adapt your novel into a film," he replied.

I was taken aback. An adaptation could either ruin or elevate the novel.

"I'm not sure about that," I said. "It might ruin the readers' imagination. Besides, I write to divert my emotions."

"I understand your concerns," he said. "There have been adaptations that didn't do justice to the original story. But I'm confident that this won't be the case. The director attached to your novel is currently the top director in the Philippines."

This was indeed a huge opportunity.

"He's only been in the industry for 5 years, but he's already made a big name for himself," he added. "His shows consistently sweep awards at the Metro Manila Film Festival for 2 years. He's known for his attention to detail and his ability to bring out the best in his actors."

I couldn't deny the excitement that was building up inside me. The prospect of seeing my novel come to life on the big screen was thrilling. But I was also scared, scared of losing control over my story, scared of it being misinterpreted.

"I don't know," I said finally, stalling for time. "Can I think about it?"

"Sure, contact me immediately if you decide," he said, before our call ended.

I remained deep in thought, weighing the pros and cons of attending the MIBF and the potential adaptation of my novel. It was undoubtedly a huge opportunity for an author, but I was unsure if I should accept it. If I did, I would have to return to the Philippines.

Eh diba uuwi ka para sa kasal ni Kiraz?

My mind was a jumble of conflicting thoughts. Yesterday, I had boldly told Kiraz I would attend the wedding, but now I was hesitant to return home. I chided myself, "What's wrong with you, Clyde? You're going back for Kiraz's wedding anyway. Accepting the MIBF and adaptation offers will keep you occupied while you wait for the wedding."

With a sudden surge of impulsiveness, I opened my laptop and searched for available flights. I booked one on the spot, with my flight scheduled for Friday. I still had one day left to spend in Italy.  After booking my flight, I texted Kiraz, "Pick me up at NAIA on Saturday."

The next morning, I woke up late, feeling a bit sluggish. I went through my morning routine, and as I took a shower, I started thinking about how I wanted to spend my day and tomorrow morning.

Maybe I'd buy a wedding gift for Kiraz and Clint, as well as something for Mama and Kuya.I also remembered that I had left some of my belongings in Switzerland, so I should probably buy some new clothes too.

And then there was the question of where I would stay. Mama lived with Kuya and his wife, Ate Keziah, in our ancestral house. Maybe I could stay with them, but then again, I didn't want to be a disturbance.

Bakit ba 'ko biglang nag decision?

Akala ko pa naman mahabang-habang isipan pa kapag dadating 'yung panahon na kailangan kong umuwi ng Pilipinas.

After getting ready, I headed to a nearby restaurant for brunch. As I ate, I started thinking about what gift I should buy for Kiraz and Clint's wedding.

Lost in thought, I didn't notice the person standing in front of me until I heard a familiar voice. "I see you again, Trixie."

I looked up to see Luke standing there, a warm smile on his face. "Luke, good morning," I greeted, returning his smile.  I gestured to the empty chair across from me, and he sat down.

"What brings you here?" I asked.

"This is our favorite restaurant," he replied, his eyes taking on a nostalgic glaze. I suddenly remembered his wife, who had passed away.

"Oh, that's why," I said, my voice softening in understanding. "Anyway, by any chance, do you know a place here where I can buy a gift?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" he replied, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"I'm going to buy some gifts for my friends," I said, trying to keep my explanation brief. "They're getting married, and I want to get them something special."   He nodded thoughtfully.

"I know some great places," he said, and proceeded to recommend several shops with unique and thoughtful gifts. "There's this one store that sells handmade crafts, and another that has beautiful artwork. I can give you the addresses if you'd like."

I nodded gratefully, taking out my phone to jot down the recommendations. "I'd love to see them," I said.

"I'd love to accompany you, but I have to drop off a friend at the airport," he explained, glancing at his watch. "They're heading back to the Philippines, and I promised I'd see them off."   I nodded understandingly.

"It's okay," I said. "I can manage on my own."

Just then, his phone lit up. He glanced at the screen and then looked up at me, a hint of apology in his eyes. "I'm sorry, but I need to go," he said.   I nodded, feeling a pang of disappointment.

"It's okay," I repeated.

He smiled briefly before adding, "About our deal, can I get your number to ask for some details?"   I nodded and handed over my number.

"See you if I see you, Trixie," he said with a smile, before hurrying off to attend to his friend.

After brunch, I headed straight to the shops Luke had recommended. I had decided to paint a custom portrait of Clint and Kiraz as my wedding gift to them. I spent the day browsing through the various shops, searching for inspiration and materials.

As I walked around one of the stores, a necklace caught my eye. It was a delicate gold chain with a cherry pendant. I thought it would be a perfect gift for Kiraz, as it represented her name.

As I looked at the other necklaces displayed beside the cherry one, I suddenly froze. A familiar necklace was staring back at me, and my heart skipped a beat.

"When Clint and I went to the mall, I ran over to this necklace and I remembered you. So, I bought it."

I shook my head vigorously, trying to silence the voice that had crept into my mind. I had finally stopped thinking about him, and I shouldn't let myself fall back into that trap. I took a deep breath and focused on the present moment, trying to push away the memories that threatened to resurface.

Necklace lang 'yan. Wala kang naalala sa necklace na 'yan.

I stepped inside the shop and purchased the cherry necklace, carefully handing over my payment. With the necklace securely in my possession, I walked out of the store, my eyes fixed on the delicate gold chain and the vibrant cherry pendant.

As I strolled along, gazing at the necklace, I couldn't help but smile. The thought of Kiraz's face lighting up when she saw the gift brought me joy, and I felt a sense of satisfaction knowing I had found the perfect present.

Magugustuhan to ni Kiraz.

After finishing my shopping, I returned to my hotel room and collapsed onto the bed, feeling exhausted. I picked up my phone, which I had turned off after sending a message to Kiraz earlier.

As I turned it back on, I was shocked to see a flood of notifications from Kiraz. My eyes widened in surprise as I scrolled through the messages, wondering what could have prompted her to send so many texts.

99+missed calls.

99+messages.

I quickly dialed Kiraz's number, and she picked up on the first ring. "Naka-uwi ka na?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Nasa italy pa 'ko." I replied, settling into the conversation.

"Bakit ka ba bumubulong?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

"Gaga ka, 3 in the morning na dito," she said with a laugh, her voice filled with amusement. I could almost hear her grinning over the phone.

"3? Ang bilis mo ngang sumagot sa tawag ko," I teased, chuckling. It was like no time had passed at all, and we fell into our usual banter.

"Clint and I just finished...," she said, her voice taking on a sly tone. "He fell asleep." I could imagine the scene, and I smiled at the thought of Clint snoozing away.

Then, her voice shifted to an excited and lovely tone. "Uuwi ka na nga!!!" she squealed, her enthusiasm infectious.

"Yeah, na-miss kita," I said, smiling warmly. It was true - I had missed Kiraz, and I was looking forward to seeing her again.

"Ako din!!!" she exclaimed, her voice echoing with excitement. "I've missed you so much! When do you arrive?"

"Anong oras nga pala flight mo?" she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Friday, 7:00 pm," I replied. "I'll probably arrive in the Philippines by Saturday lunch."

Kiraz let out a delighted squeal. "I'll pick you up at the airport! We can catch up on everything."

"Friday, 7:00 pm. I'll probably arrive in the Philippines by Saturday lunch," I said, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness about my upcoming return.

"Okay, Nga pala, balita ko nasa Italy din si Ash. Nagkita kayo?" Kiraz asked, her voice laced with curiosity.

I suddenly remembered my encounter with Ashley. "Yes, I saw her yesterday. And we're even staying at the same hotel," I added, trying to sound nonchalant despite the awkwardness of the situation.

I heard Kiraz gasp on the other end of the line. "Talaga? an'yare? she asked, her curiosity piqued.

I sighed, my voice tinged with sadness. "Nothing, she's still mad at me, I think." I didn't want to go into details, but Kiraz's next words caught me off guard.

"Gagang 'yun. Sabi niya yayakapin ka niya kapag magkita kayo." Kiraz said, her tone incredulous.

I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I stopped breathing for a moment, shocked by Kiraz's words. Then, I let out a deep breath and composed myself.

"What? Kelan niya naman sinabi 'yan?" I asked, trying to process this new information.

"A few days ago. Sabi niya miss na miss kana daw niya and yayakapin ka daw niya agad kapag mag kita kayo." Kiraz explained.

I was stunned. Why had Ashley said one thing to Kiraz and then acted completely differently when we met? I didn't have time to dwell on it, though.

"Hayaan mo na, I'll fix our friendship and explain everything to her once I get back," I said, determination creeping into my voice. I was ready to face whatever issues lay between Ashley and me head-on.

Our call ended, and I drifted off to sleep, feeling content. The next morning, I woke up refreshed and started my daily routine. I headed down to the hotel's breakfast buffet, savoring the delicious spread.

With my flight drawing near, I spent the rest of the day packing my belongings, making sure everything was in order. I had a secret, though - I hadn't told anyone about my plans, not even Mom, Kuya, Kyle, or my publisher. I wanted to surprise them, and the excitement of keeping it under wraps was building up inside me.

Tanging si Kiraz lang ang nakaka-alam sa pag uwi ko.

Though I'll miss Switzerland, I know my return to the Philippines is only temporary. After the Manila International Book Fair and the movie adaptation, I'll be heading back to Switzerland. The thought of returning to the familiar streets of Zurich and the stunning Swiss Alps is comforting, but for now, I'm excited to reconnect with friends and family in the Philippines.

After double-checking that I had everything I needed, I sent Kiraz a text to let her know I was on my way to the airport. She replied, reminding me to take care.

I rummaged through my belongings, searching for the calling card Luke had given me. Once I found it, I sent him a text, asking when he'd need the paintings, and mentioned that I'd be returning to the Philippines for a while.

With everything settled, I made my way to the airport. As I stood there, I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what lay ahead. I reminded myself that I was prepared for this, that I'd been working on healing and moving forward.

"Kaya ko 'to," I whispered to myself. "I am okay now. I am slowly healing."

I'd thought about the possibility of running into him, given our shared social circle. But I'd prepared myself for that eventuality, rehearsing how I'd react if we crossed paths.

As the plane took off, I closed my eyes and prayed, seeking guidance and strength for the journey ahead.

Stepping off the plane, the familiar heat enveloped me, a warm welcome back to the Philippines. The air was thick with memories, and nostalgia washed over me. Six long years had passed since I'd set foot in this country.

The airport had changed, but one thing remained constant - Kiraz's bright smile, waiting for me.

Her eyes lit up when she spotted me. "Clydeee!" she shouted, jumping up and down in excitement. She sprinted towards me, and I couldn't help but laugh at her infectious energy.

"Clydeee!" she exclaimed again, throwing herself into my arms. I wrapped her in a tight hug, feeling a lump form in my throat.

"I missed you," she whispered, her voice trembling.

"I missed you," I replied, my voice cracking with emotion. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I held my friend close. Six years of loneliness melted away in that moment, replaced by a sense of belonging and connection.

It felt so good to be home, to be with someone who cared about me. I held Kiraz at arm's length, taking in her bright smile and sparkling eyes. "I'm back," I said, smiling.

Kiraz grinned, her eyes shining with happiness. "You're home," she corrected.

But I couldn't agree with her. I was in the Philippines now, my hometown, surrounded by familiar sights and sounds. Yet, as I looked into Kiraz's eyes, I couldn't shake off the feeling that I wasn't truly home.

"Tangina, mas lalo kang gumanda," Kiraz said, eyeing me with amusement as we drove to her house. I smiled, feeling a bit self-conscious about the attention.

"Ako lang 'to," I replied, downplaying her compliment. Kiraz made a face at me.

"Wow, nakapag-Switzerland kalang, eh!" She teased, implying that my time abroad had done wonders for my appearance.

I chuckled, feeling a bit more at ease. "Pero seryoso, Clyde, mas gumanda ka," she said, her expression turning serious. "Ang haba na ng buhok mo, tapos ang blooming mo. Plus, mas sumexy pa."

I smiled, knowing that my healthy lifestyle had contributed to my improved appearance. "Alam mo 'yung sexy na malusog," Kiraz said, grinning. "Ganon katawa mo et."

I laughed, feeling a bit embarrassed by her persistent compliments. "Tama na, kaka-compliment mo, pag ako na evil eye," I joked.

Kiraz just laughed. "Kaya nga, para ma-evil eye kita," she teased back.

The conversation shifted as Kiraz dropped a surprise on me. "Anyway, ikaw maid of honor ko ha," she said, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

I looked at her, taken aback by the request. "Si Ash kasi nung una, kaya ikaw ngayon," she explained, referring to Ashley, our mutual friend.

I nodded, still processing the unexpected ask. Kiraz's expression turned concerned, her eyes scanning mine. "Ayos lang ba sa 'yo?" she asked, her voice laced with worry.

I nodded again, but her eyes remained skeptical. I recognized that look - it was the same one she'd given me whenever I'd been hurt or struggling.

I decided to address her concern directly. "If you're worried because he's there, it's okay. I'm okay na," I said, forcing a smile to reassure her.

Kiraz's eyes narrowed slightly. "Sure ka?" she pressed, seeking confirmation.

I nodded again, more emphatically this time. "Yes, it's okay if he's there."

Kiraz's face finally relaxed, and she smiled. "We're here na," she said, nodding towards the mansion.

As we stepped out of the car, I couldn't help but be awestruck by the grandeur of Kiraz's family home. The modern-style mansion was surrounded by a lush garden, complete with a stunning fountain at its center.

"Let's go?" Kiraz asked, gesturing for me to follow her.

I trailed behind her as we entered the mansion. "Clint prepared our lunch," she mentioned, and I nodded, my stomach growling in anticipation.

As we stepped inside Kiraz's house, I suddenly felt the urge to tie my hair back. I began rummaging through my bag, searching for my hair clamps. But no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't seem to find them.

"Kiraz, wait, hindi ko mahanap 'yung hair clamps ko," I said, pausing in my search.

Kiraz stopped walking and turned to face me. "Why are you here?" she asked, a hint of surprise in her voice.

I didn't look up, too focused on finding my hair clamps. Finally, my fingers closed around them, and I quickly took them out.

Just as I was about to tie my hair back, I heard a familiar voice, one that sent shivers down my spine. "Clint invited me over."

My hands froze, suspended in mid-air as if time itself had betrayed me. Slowly, I lifted my gaze, my eyes trembling like the delicate petals of a flower. And then, I saw him. The man who had once been my everything, my reason for breathing, my soulmate. The man I had loved and lost, and had thought I'd never lay eyes on again.

Jarred.

He sat on the couch, his eyes wide with shock as he took in the sight of me. His jaw clenched, and his mouth hung slightly ajar, as if he'd been about to say something but had forgotten how to speak. His hair, once always perfectly sleek and styled, now fell across his forehead in loose, unruly waves.

His face was more angular, his eyes piercing and bright with a mix of shock, anger, and longing. His shoulders were broader, his presence more commanding.

I felt like I was drowning in a sea of emotions, unable to keep my head above water. Six years of memories, of longing and loving, came flooding back, threatening to consume me whole. And yet, I couldn't look away, couldn't tear my gaze from the man who had once been my everything.