The Court Date

It had been two weeks and her parents’ initial court appearance had come. It was a dark, cloudy morning. She had failed her parents. It should never have gotten this far. She was foolish and they would hate her. How could she think she should know better than her parents? Why should anyone in the city think differently and take her side? It was her magic. They would blame her. She never should have used it. Victoria had been allergic to her magic, and yet she had proceeded to use it even knowing how hated magic was. She was foolish, indefensible, stupid. Her mind hurled insults at her, but they flew wordless over her brain in a cascade of pressure against her eyes. She wanted to cry, but not here, not yet. She was thoughtless. The insults gathered in her mind, but she could not even form them into a coherent thought. That was all they were, more words of failure. How lost could she be that she could not even find the words to criticize herself? Emptiness spread through her chest and her brain.

The dark sky taunted her from above as she slipped into the black abyss of Naji’s car. She belonged in this darkness, not Victoria. It was her fault that Victoria was dead. Naji did not look at her. Why was Naji even helping her, anyway? It was not like she could care. She did not even know Katelyn. Katelyn had betrayed her parents in giving them up and Victoria in making the mixture and not saying anything sooner. She had wanted to leave the truth hidden, and it was all the worse that she had left it so long. The silence was nauseating. After this was over, Katelyn would have nowhere to go. She meant nothing to anyone, so why should it even matter? She wanted to bang her head against the window, twist the seatbelt around her neck, or pull her necklace so tight it would shatter, and the dust would drip and fade like that pink sparkling cloud in her mentor’s charm.

Abruptly, the car ride ended, and Katelyn wound her hand to the seatbelt, snapping it open and following the dark-haired lady she had barely known for any time at all. She could barely lift her feet up the tall stone steps of the courthouse. She wanted to cry now. Naji was so far ahead of her. Why would Naji not say anything to her? Surely, even now, she should be expected to be upset? No, no, no... This should not be happening. Not in a city like this, not to her parents. She wanted to turn around and walk back down the steps and not have to face what lay ahead. Tension built in her chest, because she did not think there was any way that she could make it through. She did not want to feel the pain, the stares, and then afterwards to have everyone know and everything be different. She wanted it all to stop, to disappear. If only she could find something sharp to cut herself on. But there was nothing she could do.

Naji through the big doors open and led Katelyn through the security gates. A shiver ran through Katelyn. Did she have something they would catch? Would they get mad at her and throw her out? Her heart throbbed out of her chest. No, she tried to reassure herself. I don’t have anything on me. Nothing. She tried to breathe more clearly, more slowly, but the rush was proceeding to her head. Something was going to go wrong.

Naji took off her high heels and walked through the metal detector. The security guards looked at Katelyn expectantly. There were two of them with dark hair and grey pants. She took off her shoes and placed them with her purse in the grey tray and passed through the frame without any problems. Her heart seized again as she watched her purse pass through the x-ray, but the security guards did not say anything, so she took her purse back and her shoes back. She felt oncoming tears press against her eyes, but they would not fall, even though she did not care whether they fell or not, not now anyway. It was too quiet. Was Naji angry with her or was there another reason she would not say anything? She did not even know Katelyn. If Katelyn just ended it all now, it would not matter, because she made no difference to anyone else. Her parents surely hated her. She barely even knew Hanna and Ki. She liked to think that Hanna was her friend, but Hanna would always drift away. She never seemed to care about Katelyn when Katelyn’s life got the hardest, like when Victoria died. Although Hanna may not have known, she should have cared that Katelyn was upset. Katelyn had to be more careful of Ki, because now he knew too much, and he would think that entitled him to more information. But did he care about her? Of course not. No one did. He had powers and that was dangerous.

She walked into the courtroom and sat in the bench. It was somewhat surprising they had even let her come. Katelyn’s parents were seated in their designated area next to their lawyer.

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“There is almost no one here as if the crime did not even matter to the community!” Brittney exclaimed coming to sit next to them from where she had been seated several rows away. “Murder is a federal offence. The primary interest is supposed to be the community! I wonder what kind of deception they have to pull to get away with this.” Katelyn thought Brittney seemed too enthusiastic for a murder trial of her friend.

Naji crossed her arms and shifted her posture. “They don’t,” Naji responded. “It’s publicly available on the bulletin. Don’t be naive. People just don’t care.”

Brittney narrowed her eyes. “Precisely the problem! Other times, people will show up in mobs to support one side or the other in a murder case. Usually, they would condemn the murderer, but the Valedettes are ordinary conservative citizens, so there is not much to pick on. However, the vilification of witches plays into a narrative that Victoria deserved it. So, it’s interesting that the strategy seems to be to hide the whole incident.” Her eyes darkened. “The Constant only cares about anti-witch events and it would seem this is not one of them. The more information I can get, the better. If they are not here, then they must really not want this getting out.”

“I really don’t think that is intentional,” Naji protested.

“Ah, but that’s all part of the narrative,” Brittney asserted. She pulled a notebook from her purse and positioned a golden pen above it. Naji flinched. “Believe me. No one notices these things when the media is absent.” Brittney’s hand shook slightly. A golden light from the tip of the pen etched words at the top of the page. Brittney was using her wand to write in public.

The prosecutor entered at the same time as the judge. Katelyn closed her eyes and grabbed her hair near her heart and then pressed it against her closed eyelids. The pressure had built up so much, and all she could wish was that she was far, far away. The judge started speaking, but Katelyn could not listen. It was all over her head. She did not know what to do anymore.

She rose to her feet and wordlessly pushed past Naji out of the courthouse and into the morning air. She tried to still her breathing, but it came faster and faster. A panic rose in her chest and she could not push it away. She sat on the steps of the courthouse as she contemplated what she should do next. They would probably find her at some point soon and force her to come back or they would judge her for fleeing. What would they think? She had run away before and they had said almost nothing. That was how she met Victoria, and Victoria had been sent to find her. They had magic, so they could find her no matter how far she ran.

She did not truly want to escape. It would not make anything better. It would all stay just as bad, just as lonely. She hardly knew Naji, Ki, or Hanna. She had thought that she knew her parents, but they had changed, or at least they must have. They had always hated witches—her whole community had—but she could not conceive how the people who had cared for her as a child and comforted her could suddenly murder the very mentor they had intended to protect her. Maybe, she was wrong, and the hatred had always been there, just beneath the surface and they just needed to realize how close witchcraft was to their own protective sphere.

Her hands were shaking. Maybe, everything would be better now that she had revealed what they had done, but how could it be? She no longer had anyone to look after her, not a mentor or her parents. Everything would spiral away. Maybe, everything would have been better if she had never revealed her parents murder, and maybe they could have gone on and been okay.

Selfish, terrible, she criticized herself. How could she only think of herself and not on what was right and the justice Victoria deserved? Whatever happened to her she had to ensure the truth was revealed except if Brittney was correct and the lack of media meant anything Katelyn’s parents’ conviction would mean nothing. What did it matter if they were charged for Victoria’s death? Victoria was gone.

No one followed her out. No one said anything about her absence. She sat on the steps and the trial proceeded without her.

At last, her parents exited the courtroom with their heads lowered as a guard stood between them, a hand over each of their shoulders’. A tremor spread through Katelyn. They could not have been convicted yet. She let her head drop into her hands. No, no, no.

“There is still time,” Naji spoke evenly. Katelyn glanced up to see her and Brittney come up behind her. “As the trial unfolds, you can ensure there is more coverage.” Katelyn blinked. More coverage. She did not want more coverage. She did not want anyone to know, but Victoria deserved that. Brittney waved as she headed down the street. “They have been denied bail and sent to remand until the trial,” Naji addressed Katelyn.