Chapter 10
Ex-Husband’s Regret
Itâs been a week since Noah left and I canât find a pattern to live life without him. This is the longest weâve been separated and Iâm not ashamed to say that I am not handling it well.
Nosh is my anchor and without home feel slightly Best Like Iâm just drifting through life like a stop wreck at sea .Every day I eagerly wait for his calls because thatâs what keeps me calm. Those calls and his sweet voice keep me grounded.
I havenât heard from Rowan since that day at the airport A part of my heart still longs for him but
I know that this is for the best. There was no future between us and I couldnât go on living with a man that didnât love me
So far everything has been quiet. Not that anyone has tried to keep me informed or anything.
Since there hasnât been any more shoot outs or people dying, then itâs safe to assume that those criminals have gone underground
All of a sudden I bump into someone Jolting me out of my thoughts.
âIâm so sorry, I did not see youâ I apologize and bend down to pick up my books
Iâm heading home from work Today has been a rather tiring day I just wanted to go home and sleep
âItâs okay. I was also not paying attention to where I was goingâ
The familiar voice makes me snap my head in his direction. I wasnât wrong Ethan was the one had bumped into
He helps me pick my books up and we get up together He gives me a charming smile and I find myself smiling back at him
âWhat are you doing here?â I ask him
He was in his officer uniform and damn did he look good. I might have sworn myself off men but that didnât mean I couldnât look, and there was a lot to look at
âWe got a report that someone was selling drugs to kidsâ he pauses before continuing âAnd Iâm guessing youâre a teacher here?â he asks with his eyebrow raised
âYeahâ I reply feeling conscious all of a sudden.
Itâs not a career that you would expect the wife of a billionaire to have but I loved teaching My parents had been against the idea, preferring I got a high class job like Emma who was a fantastic lawyer or Travis who was an entrepreneur. I guess that had been another mark against me in their books.
âSo what do you teach?â Ethan asks, and he genuinely looked interested in knowing.
I canât say there was any time during our marriage that Rowan had been interested in what I did. In fact Iâm sure he doesnât know what subject I teach.
âBiologyâ
âSo beauty and brainsâ¦I like thatâ he winks, making me blush.
âUh, thanksâ I replied tucking a wayward piece of hair behind my ear.
Ethan made me feel flustered for some reason. Mainly because I wasnât used to getting attention from good looking men. Men donât look at me twice. Unlike Emma who is a beautiful drop gorgeous blonde, I was a mouse compared to her.
I had nothing going on for me. Brown hair, brown eyes and a petite body. I wasnât attractive and I got used to that since it was hammered into me over and over again when I was growing up.
Boys never payed attention to me when we were growing up and if they did it was so they could get close to Emma. It used to piss me off but after a while I accepted the fact that I just wasnât attractive to the opposite S**.
âSo, Iâm sorry I havenât been able to call, weâve just been busy I havenât gotten any free timeâ he says after a while.
Smiling at him, I reply. âItâs okay, I totally understandâ¦I know being a police officer is demandingâ
And I did understand. I understood that that was just an excuse. He wasnât planning on texting or calling when he left my house that day.
We stand there after that. I was shifting from one foot to another feeling hella awkward. He stares at me, his blue eyes searching my soul. I shift my gaze to avoid his penetrating one.
âEthanâ Someone calls and I turn to see another officer motioning to him.
âComingâ Ethan shouts before turning to me. âIâm happy to see you beautiful, Iâll see you around, yeah?â
âYeahâ I mumble.
With that he, gives me an unexpected hug before walking away. Iâm left there wondering what the hell just happened.
I shake myself from the stupor after a while and begin walking. I needed to buy some grocery and
since the store wasnât that far from school, I decide to walk.
The sling was removed and even though my shoulder was sore and sometime ached, it was still functional. I thought about everything I needed to Buy but at the forefront was my interaction
The way he treated me was so different from how Rowan treated me that I wasnât sure what to make of it. Iâve never had anyone tell me Iâm beautiful. Nor have I ever had a man even wink at me.
The few interactions Iâve heard with Ethan made me feel like I was actually attractive but I also knew I couldnât count on that. I mean if my own husband didnât find me attractive then how could other men think that I am?
âStop being sillyâ I laugh at myself,
Ethan was probably just trying to be polite or something like that. There was just no way such a hot guy would even look at me twice when there were millions of truly beautiful women he could choose from s
With that I shake myself from those thoughts. No use in dwelling on them when I knew very well how I looked.
I finally get to the store. Since it was just me, I didnât need that much. I finish shopping for my things then quickly pay up. With my goods I leave the store planning to immediately go home.
Today, I had not driven to work. My shoulder ached and I had not felt comfortable driving like that.
I was just about to hail down a taxi when I saw them. Rowan and Emma.
They were holding hands, while walking. I wasnât sure where they were headed but I didnât even care. Emma said something and Rowan threw back his head and laughed. A deep and rich laugh that screamed happiness.
The pain that I tried burying surfaces again. It hurts seeing him like this. Knowing that he was never like this with me. If only he had given me a chance. I would have made him happy. Instead he held Emma in his heart and refused to let go.
It honestly fucking hurts. I thought that I was past this but I wasnât. I felt like my heart was breaking all over again and I didnât know how to stop the hurt that threatened to drown me
As if sensing my gaze on him, he turns and looks in my direction. His laugh dies and the smile he once had disappears and a frown takes its place. I guess that I bring nothing but sorrow to him. No wonder he never smiled around me.
He faces my direction, looking as if he was about to cross the street to come towards me. I push those thoughts away. That was just wishful thinking on my part.
Quickly averting my gaze, I get inside the nearest cab and we drive off. I donât look outside the window. Refusing to watch them anymore.
It was clear he already moved on. So quickly at that. But then he never loved me so I guess itâs easy for him. It was time I moved on too. I donât care how long itâll take but I will eventually move on and find my happiness. Rowan was my past, it was time to accept that.