Chapter 9
Ex-Husband’s Regret
Ava
âI still donât understand why I have to go. Why canât I just stay here with you?â Noah complains. A frown marring his handsome face.
Heâs been sore about this whole thing since I told him that heâll be leaving with his grandparents. At first he was excited about it but then he became saddened when he realized that neither I nor his father would be joining him.
His school had been understanding of our situation His teacher even agreed to send lessons to mother so that he isnât left too behind.
âI already told you baby, this is a grandparentsâgrandson kind of vacationâ¦itâs just for you and you grandparents.â
After talking to the chief he assured me that theyâll be sent somewhere tropical.
âYouâre going to a beach. Havenât you been begging us to take you for a vacation?â I add with a mischievous smile.
The word âbeachâ immediately catches his attention. All the complaints he had, now lost.
Noah is obsessed with the ocean. He loves beaches so much that he once cried for a whole week after we returned from a vacation in the Maldives. Heâd wanted us to move there. When we refused heâd pleaded for us to just leave him there.
I smile at the memory. So grateful for the happiness and joy Noah has filled my life with.
âYouâre not lying to me are you?â he asks, pulling me back from my thoughts.
âWould I ever lie to you?â
âNoâ his frown turns into a full blown smile. His grey eyes shining in happiness. âI guess itâs okay then. Iâm not mad at you anymoreâ
âWhy were you mad at me?â I ask.
âBecause you refused to come with me, but itâs okay now. You can always join us laterâ
I wanted to tell him I wonât be joining him but I stop myself. I wasnât going to risk him going back. to being sad and moody again.
âNow, come one letâs go or weâll be lateâ I take my handbag and sling it over my uninjured shoulder
While I grab his small suitcase, he grabs his duffel bag and rushes downstairs Carefully, I bring.
I was just about to order an Uber when my door bell rings. I rush to open before Noah can. He has a tendency to open the door without first asking who is on the other side. No matter how many times I caution him. No matter how many times I tell him to ask first and not to open if the person on the other side doesnât answer or he doesnât recognize his or her voice. He just never listens.
Opening the door, I groan when I see who is on the other side.
Why did it seem like that the moment I decide to get over Rowan is when he seems to be everywhere I turn?
âDad!â Noah rushes past me and throws himself on his father.
âHey buddyâ Rowan greets him then hugs him close.
He sniffs him. Breathing his scent in. I once asked him why he does that and he told me Noahâs scent just calms him. Like how fragrances calm other people down.
He puts him down and faces me. Noah rushes back to the living room. His excitement making him hyper.
âWhat are you doing here?â seems like Iâve been asking him this question a lot in the past few days.
He shrugs his shoulder.
âIâm here to take you to the airportâ he says as he gestures to my injured arm as a way of explanation
I stare at him. Like always, his face gives nothing away. I now understand that he is like that when it comes to me. Iâm the only one he looks at coolly. Even with his business partners, he manages to give them a sort of friendly gaze.
âThereâs no need for that. Iâve already called for an Uberâ
It was lie. The last thing I wanted was to be stuck with him in a moving car for whatever long it would take us to get to the airport.
âCancel itâ he commands. His cold voice sending shivers down my spine.
Sometimes I look at Rowan and just wonder why I fell for him. He is cold, arrogant and a jerk especially towards me. I should have ran for the hills screaming when I first started to have feelings for him instead doing everything in my power to make him notice me
âNot gonna happen asshole⦠Now leave, Iâll meet you at the airportâ I whisper yell.
Who the hell did he think he was coming to my house and throwing out commands? This was my domain. I wonât allow him to rule here.
He steps into my space so weâre chest to chest. His eyes flash and his nostrils flare, I stand my ground. Refusing to let him intimidate me.
âIâm not leaving. Now cancel that F***ing order and get your ass into my carâ he growls through clench teeth. A storm brewing behind his stormy eyes.
My temper begins to rise and I clench my fist. Usually I would push it down because I didnât want to anger him but I no longer give a F***.
âYou arrogant son of bitchâ¦who the hell do you think youâre, hmm? Iâm not some F***ing puppy you think you can F***ing commandâ my voice was starting to rise. I was so F***ing pissed.
For years I let him dictate me. For years I kept my mouth shut because I didnât want to fracture. what I thought we had. But what did it bring me? What did pushing down and containing who I am give? Nothing. It gave me nothing but pain and heartache. 1
âAvaâ¦â he says in a warning tone.
âAre you two fighting again?â Noahâs voice cuts through the tense atmosphere.
I turn around to find him looking at us sadly. Damn it! I hate Noah seeing this side of us. He shouldnât deal with us fighting all the time.
âNo we arenât. We just canât agree on somethingâ I side eye Rowan. âRight?â
Just like me, the anger and coldness on his face has disappeared. Just like me, he would do anything for Noah. Including tolerating my presence.
âSure, your mom wanted to go with an Uberâsince she canât drive but I wanted to drive you two.â He says with a lazy smile.
âWhy canât we just go with dad, mommy?â
I take a deep breath and cast my eyes heavenward. Damn him for throwing me under the bus. I look at my son and he looks at me so expectantly.
I sigh in defeat. âAlright, fineâ I grumble.
The things I do for love.
âYay!â Noah screams and rushes back to the leaving room before coming back with his duffel
âWait hereâ I tell Rowan and then leave to get Noahâs suitcase and my handbag.
I tidy the living room a bit and then pick things up. I give the room one last glance to make sure everything was in place before turning around.
Bumping into a hard a chest, my handbag falls from my hand. Rowan wraps an arm around me and steadies me before I can fall. I jump away from him and quickly put some distance between
âI told you to wait at the foyerâ I glare at him
âI donât like to be told what to do you know thisâ he glares back.
âLetâs just goâ
I move to take my handbag but he grabs it before I can. Then he picks Noahâs abandoned suitcase, turns around and leaves I watch him wondering what has gotten into him. Not once has he helped me before. He was acting strangely and I didnât like it.
By the time I get my feet moving and lock the door, Rowan and Noah were already seated in the car. Reluctantly, I approach the car and get in
Ten minutes into the drive and the atmosphere is awkward. Noah was busy on his tablet watching. some cartoon. Once heâs focused on something itâs hard to get his attention. Another ten minutes in and I was going crazy. Iâm almost tempted to throw myself out of the moving car just to escape. the tense atmosphere.
I move my hands to turn on the radio but Rowan stops me when he speaks.
âHowâs the arm?â he asks His eyes were on the road but he looked at me briefly when he asked. the question
Iâm the only one who finds it S**y when a man does the one arm driving? Shaking those thoughts from my mind I focus my eyes forward.
âFineâ
âCan you give me more than just a one word answer?â he asks through clenched teeth.
âWhy should I? Youâve never been interested in anything Iâve said before. In fact you would go to great lengths to tune me outâ I say as a matter of fact. âSo why are you all of a sudden interested in what I have to say?â
He doesnât say anything. He knows that Iâm right. The familiar pain threatens to rise up but I push it back down. Iâm set on healing from those past hurts and it starts by forgetting about it and about the man sitting beside me.
I look out the window. Praying that we would just get where we are going quickly.
âYour mother was asking for you, havenât you spoken to her of late?â
I groan in annoyance. âYouâre awfully chatty and itâs getting on my nerve Rowan. Can you just ignore me and pretend like I donât exist like you usually do?â
His grip on the steering wheel tightens. I see his jaw clench. He was getting pissed. Probably because I wasnât acting like the meek lamb he was used to. The tables had turned and he didnât.
I used to break my back trying to make him happy. Trying to be what he wants. Trying to be like Emma. I did everything I could to be the wife he could fall in love with. Now I had shed that skin and he didnât like that I wasnât falling at his feet like a dog. I smile at that Pissing him off eased. something inside me.
From there the drive is quiet. Both of us brooding in our seats while Noah laughs and follows his cartoons. An hour later we arrive at the airport. I hold Noahâs hand as Rowan get his bags from the trunk
âIâm so excited to see the oceanâ Noah says bouncing up and down in frantic energy.
âThen letâs get goingâ¦we wouldnât want to keep you waitingâ Rowan playfully tells him.
Taking my good arm, Noah drags me towards his grandparents. There were cops present I knew some of them.
When we get to them, Noah greets everyone but I donât. There wasnât any need playing nice with people who obviously hate me.
Rowan get the bags and then walks to us. He hands them over to one of the officers before going to stand next to Emma, Travis and Gabe. He greets his two bestfriends before turning to Emma. Right before my eyes he wraps an arm around her and brings her close before k*ssing forehead.
I ignore that. Refusing to acknowledge the disrespect or the pain I felt. Like is it a must he rubs his relationship in my face? Couldnât he have the decency to wait until our son was on the plane.
âFive minutes before we leaveâ A man Iâm guessing is the pilot says.
Everyone is giving me strange looks. I bet theyâd expected that I would fall at their feet like 1 usually did That I would beg for a scrap of their affection Instead here I was ignoring all of them like they didnât exist.
I watch as Noah says goodbye to Rowan, Travis and Gabe Is it weird that I felt happiness when Noah totally ignored Emma?
âNoah, say goodbye to Emmaâ Rowan commands with a bit of irritation in his voice.
âI donât know her, so why should I say goodbye to her?â he asks with a shrug leaving everyone staring at him in shock
Before Rowan can say anything else, Noah runs to me His b*dy colliding with mine as he hugs.
âIâm going to miss you so much my loveâ 1 tell him, tears filling my eyes s
âIâll miss you too mommy, promise you will call me every day?â
âI promise
The pilot calls out again and an officer comes to take Noah.
âBye Mommy, see you soonâ
âSee you soonâ
I watch as the officer gets into the plane with Noah. Mother finishes saying goodbye to the others. and comes to me 1
âPlease donâtâ I stop her when she goes to hug me.
I donât remember her ever hugging me, so I didnât understand why she wanted to do so now
She steps back and looks at me. Tears swimming in her eyes. I turn away not wanting to see them I wasnât going to fool myself into believing that she cared for me or loved me. Years have proven that she didnât
âTake care of yourself Ava, and donât worry weâll look after Noahâ she finally says.
I just nod at her. When I donât say anything else she turns and walks towards the plane where
Rowanâs parents had already boarded.
A few seconds later I watch as the plane carrying my son takes off Once itâs off the runway, I turn and leave. My heart feels heavy but I know this is the best decision for Noah.
Just as I get outside the airport, my phone rings with Rowanâs name flashing I reject it and hail a cab When he continues calling, I switch off my phone completely and head home, where i'll be alone for an unforeseen time.