Chapter 61
Ex-Husband’s Regret
Her life line
Rowan
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Fuck run my hand through my hair as I watch her sleep. Tears tracks were still visible on her
cheeks and it breaks me seeing her so broken.
Ava has always been fucking good at hiding her feelings. Today she didnât and it was fucking raw
It was drowning her and without even her realizing it, she was drowning me along with her.
I take a seat near her sleeping form. I push my fingers through her hair as I massage her scalp
gently. How the fuck have I never realized how soft and thick her hair is? It was bliss just
touching it.
She sighs in her sleep in contentment. Her face relaxed. All the pain from earlier melted away. In
her sleep, sheâs at a peace. She doesnât have shadows accosting her.
I know itâs fucking creepy, but watching her sleep has become my favorite thing. I did the same
thing yesterday and here I am doing it today. Sheâs so beautiful it hurts. Even with dark under
eyes, sheâs still stunning. I donât know the fuck I ever thought she couldnât compare to Emma.
I softly kiss her cheeks before standing up. I am reluctant to leave. I fight the part of me that
wants to pull the covers and slide in next to her. I donât know where this need is coming from. It
was never there when we were married. Back then, I didnât want her next to me. I always avoided
cuddling. Right now though, itâs all I can fucking think of.
I force myself to leave her room and walk out of her house. Taking a breath, I contemplate going
back, but I donât. I know she wonât appreciate me being in bed with her. She might have accepted
my comfort, but that doesnât mean sheâs forgiven me for my part in hurting her.
I havenât even asked for her forgiveness for heavenâs sake. I should and I will. I just need her to be
more stable when I do. 2
I take out my phone and call my twin. He picks up on the first ring.
âMeet me at the clubâ I tell him before hanging up.
I donât have to wait for his reply. I just know that he will be there.
I give Avaâs house one last look before I jump into my car and drive away. About half an hour later,
Iâm at one of my clubs. I enter through the VIP entrance thatâs only meant for me, Gabe and any of
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âSirâ the bouncer greets I nod at him then enter the club.
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The damn music was loud and it was giving me a headache. Moving fast as the bouncer parts the
way for ane, we get to my private booth where things are much quieter.
He proceeds to stand guard at the entrance. Itâs not once or twice that women tried gate crashing
just to get free drinks.
My personal bartender walks in with my drink and hands it to me. I donât have to tell him what I
take, he already knows. Just like he knows what Gabe and Travis take.
âWhatâs got you in such foul mood?â Gabe asks walking in.
Heâs younger than me by three minutes. While heâs the outgoing and social one. Iâm the brooding
antisocial twin.
âNothingâ I mumble leaning back in my chair.
I still canât get the fucking image of Ava on the cliff. The way she was so close to the edge. It all
but killed me when she took a hesitant step forward. The fear that had encased me was like
nothing like Iâve ever felt. It was tangible and it suffocated me
My heart honestly stopped and I saw my fucking life flash before my eyes. She was so broken and
I wanted nothing more than to piece her back together.
I donât know what I would have done if I had been late. I donât know why, but I know that if she had
died then my heart would have died with her. 1
âYou forget I know you better than you know yourself brotherâ he takes a seat opposite me.
âAvaâ her name slips out of my mouth in an anguished tone.
âYou care about herâ
âOf course I fucking care about her. Sheâs the mother of my sonâ I snap at him, frustrated.
The whole thing was frustrating me. She was spiraling out of control and I just didnât know how to
help her. I didnât know how to be what she needs. Iâve spent so much time pushing her away, that
I donât know what makes her tick.
âItâs more than that big brother, you just refuse to open your fucking eyes and see itâ he drawls.
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Heâs been on and on about that one issue. That my concern for Ava stem from feelings that ran
much deeper We keep arguing about that. I think I would fucking know if I was in love with her. I
care about her, and I have feelings I canât describe, but love? I donât think so.
âHowâs the doing?â he asks when I donât say anything else.
âSheâs pregnant
He stares and me with wide eyes and an open jaw. âWith Ethanâs baby?â
âWho else would she pregnant for?â I ask him in irritation.
When I found out yesterday, something just shifted inside me. Knowing she was expectant with that
bastardâs baby just made everything more real. I had been blocking the knowledge that she had slept
with Ethan out.
When I found out, there was this primal part of me that wanted to kill Ethan for touching whatâs mine.
After that I blocked it out. Tried pretending that it didnât happen because thatâs the only
way I could calm myself down. Her pregnancy now was proof that she did sleep with another man
and for some reason it fucking hurts and drives me insane knowing that. 7
Itâs completely unreasonable. I wanted her to move on. I wanted her to leave me alone. I was planning
to woe Emma and marry her later on. Yet now that I know that Ava had moved on. Moved
on to the point she felt comfortable enough to let another man touch. I feel like a fucking piece of
me died. I canât explain it and I donât know why, but I feel lost. 3
âSo what is she going to do?â he pulls me back to the present with his question.
âI donât knowâ I whisper, staring at the amber liquid in my glass.
I debate telling him what happened at the cliff, but I stop myself. She has been through too much
already, I wasnât going to tell my brother what she tried doing in her darkest moment. She
deserved to be protected and that was what I was going to do.
âSir, this came in for youâ Mike, my bartender hands me a small envelope.
He leaves immediately after.
âWhat is it?â Gabe asks curiously, moving to the edge of his seat.
âI donât knowâ I tell him as I open it.
A piece of paper falls out. I unfold it and read it.
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(Iâm not one to go after kids, so you can rest assured that I wonât go after your son I canât say the same
for the rest of your loved ones though Iâm coming for you Rowan and everyone you hold dear]
It was signed in the Reapers insignia.
I should fear, but I donât. All that registers is that they wonât go after Noah. Thatâs all that matters
to me right now.
I never want to feel the fear I felt when I saw her on that cliff. It was time for Noah to come home.
He has always been Ava life line, and now more than ever she needs him.