Chapter 62
Ex-Husband’s Regret
62 Noahâs back
Ava
+15 BONUS
Iâm cleaning the house. A thorough cleaning just to keep my mind off things. Iâm still coming to
terms with the fact that Iâm pregnant.
When Rowan rejected the idea of us having another baby. I all but gave up on giving Noah a
sibling. Now I have another baby on the way and I didnât know how to feel.
My phone rings and I pick it up. Normally I would have refused to pick up, but not today. Pushing
those close to me away wasnât doing me any good..
âHi Lettyâ I murmur while sitting down.
Iâve been so tired of late. I should have known that there was something more to it.
âOh my God. You picked up. I thought you wouldnâtâ she screams through the phone before
sniffing. âI missed hearing your voice. Itâs been weeksâ
Ù
âIâm sorry.â I release a breath. âI just didnât know how to handle everything so I pushed you awayâ
Iâve never been good at communicating my feelings. Iâve never been good at even acknowledging
them. When Iâm stressed or over emotional, I shut down. I try to bury them so that I can function
properly. Pushing my emotions down is usually better than acknowledging them. Now I know
that isnât healthy at all.
âAre you okay now?â
âNot all the way, but I will beâ I assure her.
I donât know how I plan to do that, but I was going to come out of this stronger.
I still canât believe that I thought of killing myself and my own child. I may not know how to feel,
but this baby was my blood. Just like Noah is. I plan to be a good mother. I plan to be the best
mother to him or her.
I shake those thoughts away. I donât want to think of how low I had hit. I donât want to think of
what I almost did.
âIâm pregnantâ I whisper, when she doesnât say anything after a while.
1/5
+15 BONUS
What? She shrieks in surprise âWhen did you find out?â
âAbout a week ago
Just like win Noah, this baby is unexpected and unplanned. That wonât stop me from loving him
or her. I always wanted another child. I may not like his or her father right now, but itâs not their
Laush
Oh darling, congratulationsâ she tells me as the surprises fades and joy fills her tone.
You sound happy about the news. I thought you wouldnât, given who the father isâ
âI am. I truly believe that a baby is a blessing, and this baby is who you need to pull you through
the heartache youâve recently been through. This baby is your saving grace. He or she came to you
just in time.â She takes a deep breath as emotions clogs her voice.
âYou were drowning, Ava. I could see it. Everyone could see it. I believe this baby has done what no
one else has managed to do. Pulling you out of the darknessâ
I think about what sheâs said and itâs true. Itâs because of Noah and this child that I want to get
better. That Iâm willing to get the help I need.
âThank you for trying Letty. Even when I kept pushing you away, you still kept trying. You never
gave up on meâ I was close to tears.
Every single thing makes me emotional now.
Youâre my bestfriend. More like the sister I never had. Of course I wouldnât give up on you
because I know you would do the sameâ
We catch up after that. Moving away from serious conversations. By the time we say goodbye and
hang up. It was an hour or so later.
It felt nice talking to her. I didnât realize how much I had missed her. Just how lonely I had been
these past few weeks. I felt more like myself, now. I wasnât quite there yet, but I was on my way.
I finish cleaning and I am exhausted by the time I am done. I collapse on the sofa, just as I hear my
front door open.
I frown. Who the hell would dare enter my house without knocking or ringing the bell?
My question is answered when I hear his sweet voice.
2/5
+15 BONUS
âMommy Mommy I am home!â he screams.
A big smile takes over my face and I stand up. I rush out of the living room just as he breaks
through the entry way.
âNoah!â
His body crashes with mine. I hug him close to me as tears fall down my face. His body just fits
perfectly. I had missed him.
Kissing him all over his face, I hold him tighter.
âMom!â he giggle, but he doesnât push me away.
âIâve missed you so much! How are you here right now?â I ask him as I pull away a little though I
donât let him go.
We were both on the floor, but I didnât care. I was just so fucking happy to have him here with me.
âDad, came for me. He said you needed me. It was supposed to be a surprise, thatâs why I didnât tell
you when we talked yesterdayâ
It was only after he mentions his father that I realize Rowan was standing before him. Our eyes
lock. I see an emotion in his eyes, but I just canât figure out what it is.
âHiâ I say softly.
He has been by my house everyday just to check up on. He has been supportive and kind.
Something that still surprises me. He was so different from the Rowan I was used to that I didnât
know how to react to this version of him. 2
True to his words, he got me a therapist who I began seeing three days ago. Every time he does
something nice, Iâm left surprised by his action. It was so unlike him. 1
âHey, Avaâ¦how are you today?â he asks with a small smile.
âIâm goodâ I shrug. I was making steps to get better and thatâs what matters.
Noah pulls at my sleeves and I look at him. âIs it true that youâre having a baby?â
I glare at Rowan who looks at me sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head.
âYesâ I tell him in fear.
3/5
He has never said anything about wanting a sibling, so I donât know how heâll to react.
Iâm surprised when a huge smile takes over his face and he bumps his fist in the air
+15 BONUS
âOh man, this is so coolâ he screams in happiness. âCan you make the baby be a girl? I always
wanted a baby sisterâ.
His joy eases something in my heart. A bit of the panic I had settles down. If Noah is okay with me
having another baby, then everything will work out.
âIt doesnât work like that, babyâ I gently explain it to him. âItâs a fiftyâfifty percent chance, so it
might be a boyâ
âNo! Itâs a girl mommy. Iâm going to get a baby sister because thatâs what I want and I always get
what I wantâ his face is etched in determination.
Right now he looks so much like Rowan that itâs really uncanny.
âNoahâ¦â I didnât want him to be disappointed if in case the baby is boy.
âNoâ he goes to argue but Rowan cuts him off.
âBuddy, could you give me and your mom a chance to talk?â he looks between the two of us before
nodding his head and going upstairs.
I had made a live video and given him a tour of the house, so he knows where his bedroom is.
âHow did you know I needed him?â I ask him standing up.
He shrugs his shoulder. âCall it instincts, I canât really explain itâ
âIâm happy to see him, but isnât it unsafe for him? The Reaperâs still remain a threat even if we
havenât heard from themâ
He sighs âDonât worry about that, they wonât hurt Noah. I canât promise about the rest, but Noah
isnât a target and for me thatâs all that mattersâ
I donât feel particular anything when he mentions the rest. Like he said, Noah is my main concern.
Apart from Letty, the others could burn in hell.
âThanks for bringing him back and for everything you done for meâ I tell him genuinely. He has
done a lot for me these past few days, and Iâll always be grateful.
4/5
+15 BONUS
âAnything for you, Ava.â
I frown when he says that. It was so weird hearing him say that when he has never really cared about
me. I was tempted to check his forehead. Just to make sure that he doesnât have a fever.
Before I can dwell on why heâs changed so much. Running footsteps echo as they come down the
stairs.
âMom! My room is awesomeâ¦It looks better than in the videoâ he screeches.
I smile. It really doesnât matter why Rowan has changed. It shouldnât be my concern. Beside Iâve got so
many things to think about. Like how the hell I was going to face Ethan tomorrow.