Chapter Eleven

"Raven seems nice," Eddie remarked, as he looked back over at me. "What happened last night?"

"What?" I almost choked on my bite of pancake, surprised to hear him asking me about last night so directly.

Was it obvious that Raven and I had hooked up? I thought I'd been careful about throwing out the condom, making sure it wasn't near the top of my living room trashcan. But maybe Eddie had noticed something else, something I hadn't even thought to get rid of.

And as I tried to come up with a possible culprit, he continued with his line of questioning.

"Last night? After the car show? I didn't want to ask Raven why he was here this morning, but I'm guessing he had a bit too much to drink and couldn't make it back to his own place?" Eddie chuckled. "It was really nice of you to watch out for him like that."

"Yeah. I... really looked after him last night," I replied as memories of Raven pressed up against the wall ran through my mind.

I wanted him. Again. And if Eddie hadn't shown up in my kitchen this morning, I probably would've bent Raven over and fucked him right over the kitchen sink.

And then I would've taken him on the countertop.

And then the kitchen floor.

And then we would've been so tired from the sex marathon that we would've retreated to my bedroom, where I would have held him until he nodded off to sleep.

"You should be careful around guys like that, though," Eddie said, interrupting my erotic daydreams.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I smirked. "Is there any specific reason I need to be careful around wedding planners, Eddie?"

"You know what I mean," he muttered. "I don't think Raven sees you the same way that you see him. I think he wants something more with you."

"Something more?" I played dumb, waiting for Eddie to explain himself further.

Fuck. This was a test run, wasn't it? For me coming out of the closet. Even though I didn't plan on coming out of the closet, what would I have even said? That I was only attracted to Raven? That no other man -- or woman -- had ever made me feel like there were fireworks going off behind my chest?

Was it even possible to come out as "gay for Raven"?

"Yeah, man. I think he wants to be your boyfriend, for real," Eddie explained. "Which is why you need to be careful. You let a guy like that into your inner circle? And everything goes to hell. You'll be sitting in the same spot for six months, wondering why you can't keep a girlfriend around. And then, you'll find out that he's been talking shit about you behind your back, scaring away the girls you like with bullshit that happened years ago. All that, just so he can keep you to himself."

"No offense, Eddie, but it sounds less like you're describing Raven and more like you're describing a daytime movie villain," I quipped. "I don't think Raven would do anything like that, even if he did like me as more than a friend."

"He does like you as more than a friend," Eddie scoffed. "And I'm telling you, man. You need to nip that shit in the bud, or else it's going to come back around to haunt you. What would happen if you and Irene got together, and Raven ended up blowing up the whole deal?" He smacked his hand against my dining table for emphasis. "Boom! No more Irene. No more engagement. No more Easton's Exchange. And everything's gone, just like that."

"Since when do you care so much about Irene?" I asked. "Weren't you just trying to set me up on a date with Melanie?"

"Melanie. Irene. Whoever!" he exclaimed. "You just need to make sure that your shit is protected, all right? Don't let somebody else fuck up your inheritance, that's all I'm saying."

"Thanks for the heads up, Eddie," I said, in the flattest tone possible.

"No problem." He grinned as he took another bite of his breakfast.

And for a split second, I thought about just telling him the truth. It would've been a lot easier than trying to keep up this charade, especially since I knew something about Raven and I was going to slip out, one day or another.

But then I remembered that Eddie was about as good at keeping things to himself as a bucket with a hole in it was at keeping in water. If I told him about Raven, word would spread to every single member of my family before I'd even have a chance to explain myself.

Worst of all, word would get back to my dad, too.

I wasn't sure what my dad's reaction would be if he knew how much I liked Raven; how much lighter things felt when he walked into a room. I wasn't afraid of my dad. The upside of forging my own path in the world was that I was master of my own universe, so to speak, and I didn't have to rely on my father's opinions or his wallet.

I was more concerned about kicking up a rumor during Trent's wedding week. I didn't want to pull focus away from such a special day, and I didn't want to cause any drama within the familial ranks. Maybe after the wedding, when the dust had settled, I'd finally tell everyone what was going on.

Well, if things between Raven and I were still going on.

"Are you going to finish your pancakes?" Eddie asked, pointing a fork toward my plate.

"What makes you think I'm not?"

"Because you're zoning out, man," he answered. "And when you're zoning out, you never finish what's in front of you. Remember that huge waffle you left at that breakfast we had on Vincent Street?"

I chuckled. "Vincent Street? Eddie, that was like five years ago."

"Yeah, and the memory of that poor, leftover waffle still haunts me to this day." He sighed, reaching over for my plate, pulling it toward his side of the table. "Don't worry, little pancake. Uncle Eddie is never going to let you end up like that."

I wanted to protest him stealing the rest of my breakfast, but instead, I leaned back in my seat.

And as Eddie droned on about uneaten waffles and uneaten eggrolls and uneaten rice bowls, I zoned out for a second time, my mind wandering toward thoughts of Raven and late-night kisses.

* * *

I stared down at my phone, mentally going over my game plan for the millionth time.

Step one: call Raven on the phone.

Step two: make casual conversation (make it seem natural).

Step three: segue into asking Raven out.

Step four: wait and see.

I drew in a long, deep breath, pulling up Raven's name in my phone contacts, feeling like I was finally ready to turn the plan into reality.

But instead of calling him, I exhaled, loudly, as I set the phone back down on the counter, Raven's number remaining undialed.

Shit.

Why was this so hard?

I'd asked people out before. I'd asked a girl to prom. I'd asked girls for their numbers, on the rare occasion that I thought there could've been something between us. And honestly, I didn't think that asking out a guy was any different.

Because either Raven was interested in me or he wasn't.

Of course, I couldn't deny that he turning me down after we'd already hooked up would've ruined my self-esteem. It was one thing for him to turn me down when I was a complete stranger, but he knew a lot about me by now.

Which meant that a rejection from him would mean something.

Maybe that was why I was so nervous. Raven wouldn't have just been rejecting me. He would've been rejecting everything he knew about me, too.

And, at the end of the day, maybe he just wasn't interested in being with a spoiled rich kid like me.

As I continued to nervously watch my phone, a number popped up on the screen.

Clarissa.

I didn't know what she wanted, but the mere thought that she could've been somewhere with Raven was enough to get my heart racing. And as I answered the phone call, I wondered if I would hear his voice somewhere in the background.

"Hey, Clarissa. What's up?" I asked, listening for any sign of Raven on the other end of the line.

"Hey, Sky!" She sounded like she was smiling. "Did you have fun at the car show? I was talking to Raven about it earlier, before he left to go meet Briar for drinks somewhere."

When I realized that Raven was nowhere to be found in this conversation, my heartbeat slowed. I answered Clarissa's question, leaning against my dresser drawer. "Yeah. The car show was really fun."

"Really fun, huh? Is that all?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's really all you have to say?" She lightly laughed. "You don't want to tell me anything about Raven?"

"Why would I want to tell you anything about him?"

"Because you two are obviously up to something," she continued. "But since I know that whatever is going on with you two is none of my business, I'll just leave it at that." She sighed. "Just don't upstage me at the wedding, okay? Don't make a scene. Don't do some kind of huge reveal."

"What kind of reveal would I be doing?" I pressed, even though I knew what she was getting at. It was crystal clear from this conversation that she'd already put two and two together and was just fishing for additional information.

"No kind of reveal, because it's my wedding." She laughed again. "Seriously, Sky. If you want to tell your family something, you better do it on your own time."

"I'll keep that in mind," I replied.

"Good. And... you should call Raven. He seemed really distracted earlier. Almost like he was thinking about something else. Someone else. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"I... uh... yeah..." My words trailed off as I stumbled through my response.

I didn't want to lie to Clarissa, but I wasn't ready to tell her the truth, either.

Which meant that there was only one thing left for me to do, and it involved getting out of this conversation as soon as possible. "Anyway, I've gotta get back to it. I'll talk to you later."

"Get back to what?" She laughed again. "But yeah, okay. I'll talk to you later, Sky!"

Then she swiftly hung up the phone.

And I immediately dialed Raven's number.