: Chapter 36

I slept in Ryder’s arms again last night, after we had showered of course. At least he stopped working for a little bit, even if the conversation did turn dark. So when I wake up and he’s gone, I’m not surprised to find a note on his pillow.

Asshole. With a smirk, I slip into one of his shirts and then freeze, recalling our conversation last night. Was he really contemplating letting me go? I don’t know, but if he does…will I leave? I’ve gotten used to living here, and I really do care for them…they make me feel alive, they make me happy, but can happiness, can love, really happen when I had no choice?

I don’t know, but I doubt it will bother them. They made a choice, and they will stick to it. I already decided to stop fighting and just start living, so even though I miss my old life, I push it away.

When I get downstairs, it’s just Diesel and Garrett. I slip into my chair, and Garrett passes me a coffee, our fingers lingering. “So, where’s dumb and dumber?” I smirk.

Garrett snorts, but Diesel doesn’t even look at me. “Going through that list.”

I nod and lean closer to Diesel. “Hey, hot stuff, guess that means it’s you and me again.” I wiggle my eyebrows at him. He grinds his teeth and storms off, leaving me staring after him. “Erm, care to explain?” I ask Garrett.

I turn back to see him watching me sadly before he wipes his face clear of emotion. “It’s nothing, just a bad night, don’t worry about it. So what do you want to do today?”

“Erm, anything,” I answer distractedly, as I look in the direction where Diesel disappeared to. “Is this him angry?”

Garrett actually laughs. “Hell no, you’ll know when you see him angry, baby. He will be okay. Now, today…”

I nod as he talks, but my mind keeps going back to Diesel. What’s wrong with my crazy Viper? And how do I make it right? I never thought I would miss his brand of crazy, but as the morning drags on, I hate it. I want my crazy, batshit Diesel back, so I enlist Garrett’s help. He sets up as I go to find him.

I find him lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Leaping onto it, I crawl up his body and press my face to his. “Your little bird is being naughty, want to help?” I grin.

He blinks, his arms wrapping around me. “Like you need my help,” he mutters, but his voice is off, his blue eyes not as brilliant as usual.

“Uh-uh, come on, crazy pants, or I’ll have all the fun, and then who will punish me?” I wink and grab his hands, yanking him up.

He sighs but lets me, and when he’s on his feet, I throw myself at him. He has no choice but to catch me as I wrap my legs around his waist and bite his lip, making him groan. “Play with me,” I murmur.

His hands clench my ass and hold me tighter. “Little Bird,” he growls, and I’ve never been more relieved. Biting his lip until I taste blood, I yank myself away and tumble to the floor before I get up and run.

I hear him laugh as I race down the corridor. “I’m going to get you, Little Bird!” he calls. Once, that would have terrified me, but now it just sends desire spiking through me while I laugh.

I make it to the living room and leap onto Garrett’s back, who’s bent over and sorting the chair. He grunts, reaches out, and grabs my legs to keep me there as he straightens just as Diesel slides into the room with a smirk. “Hiding, my little bird?” he coos and prowls closer, making me laugh in Garrett’s ear.

“Uh-uh, she bribed me into one of her plans.” He shrugs and then laughs as he tosses me at Diesel. I yelp as I fly through the air, but Diesel catches me with a grunt, knocking the breath from my lungs for a moment as he wraps me in his arms.

“So what’s your evil scheme, Little Bird?” Diesel grins down at me.

“We’re going to tattoo Garrett.” I smirk.

He laughs. “How the fuck did you manage to convince him of that?”

“Easy.” I snort as I get down and wink at him. “I have a vagina he wants to fuck. You going to help me or what?”

“She also threatened to beat up my balls again,” Garrett calls.

I nod seriously. “That too, this time with a frying pan, seeing as though I still don’t have my bat.”

Diesel laughs. “You gotta stop beating people up, Little Bird. It’s easier to just kill them.”

I wave that away. “Killing spree later, dick tattoos now.”

“No fucking dicks,” Garrett yells, and I turn around and narrow my eyes.

“I will do a dick if I want to do a dick,” I snap.

He glares and goes toe-to-toe with me. “No. Fucking. Dicks. If I so much as see a goddamn dick on my skin, I will…”

“Will what?” I prompt sweetly, trailing my hand down his chest to his dick and cupping it. “Well?”

“Fair is fair,” he growls. “I will draw one on your face.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” I seethe.

“Try me.” He smirks.

“I liked you better when you just grunted. Fine, no dicks, sit down,” I demand, letting go of his hard cock and stomping around him while he laughs.

But then an idea hits me, and I beckon D closer as we debate what to draw. I lean in and whisper in his ear so Garrett can’t hear. “We’re going to sneak a dick in it, in the design space, he will never know.”

“He’s going to murder you, I’m in.” He laughs.

“He could try.” I grin as I snap on the gloves and wiggle my finger. “Probing time, baby, bend over.”

Diesel does so, wiggling his ass at me and making Garrett groan. “Children,” he calls, and we look over as I spank Diesel. “No ass play before tattoos.”

“After?” I ask seriously, and he throws his hand over his eyes.

“This is a fucking terrible idea, and they call him crazy, she’s just as bad,” he mutters to himself.

I sit on the chair and roll closer, debating where to tattoo. He doesn’t have much room. “What about your ass?” I murmur, looking him over again.

“You are not tattooing my ass,” he snaps, and I huff.

“Where else? Your cock? I ain’t touching your big ass toes.” I shiver in disgust.

He looks down, searching for room. “Shit, baby, please not my ass.”

I look him over again. “Ass or cock, your choice.”

He narrows his eyes, and I grin.

“Bend over, boy.”

“No vagina is worth this,” he snarls, as he unfastens his jeans and yanks them off, leaving him in little black boxers, his thick thighs covered in tattoos as he desperately hunts for some room. He doesn’t find any and stares at me with wide eyes. “Fuck.”

Grinning, I twirl my finger at him, and he grudgingly turns and lies face down. I tug down his boxers and reveal his peachy fucking ass, but then I freeze. “Are you okay?” I ask lowly, remembering.

He stills but nods, then he turns his head until he can see me. “I’m okay, I can see you.”

I nod and grin again. “Diesel, razor.”

He hands me one, and I clean his cheek before I start to shave it. “Can’t say I ever thought I would be shaving my boyfriend’s ass,” I mutter, making Diesel laugh.

Garrett groans. “I’m never going to live this down. No Barbie or some weird shit, baby, or I’ll do something worse to you.”

“Fine.” I pout as I look at his pale skin. What to do? I grab the needle and, like he showed me earlier, line it up with his skin. I do a tiny heart and then glance up to see him breathing heavily, his eyes closed tight, so I roll back. “Done!”

He opens his eyes and looks at me. “Baby, it’s okay.”

Leaning down, I kiss him softly. “Turn over, I can do your chest,” I suggest, knowing if we stop it will kill him.

He nods and pulls up his pants and flips over. I wipe the area just next to his belly where there is some space, some scarring too. “You sure?” I query softly.

He grits his teeth. “I got this, do it.”

“Let me know if you need me to stop,” I order, and he nods. Diesel slides in and helps me, and we start the tattoo. I hope he likes it. Honestly, I’m scared he won’t, but it’s too late now. I only do a small patch, and I’m nowhere near as good as Garrett, but I’m okay. I used to love drawing, so it’s not too much harder. Okay, that’s a lie, but still.

When it’s done, Diesel adds detail and shading as I grip Garrett’s shaking hand and lean into his face, grinning at him. “It’s totally a dick, will you punish me again?” I grin, and he laughs.

“You fucking bet, baby.” He keeps his eyes locked on me, and I babble, distracting him until Diesel is done.

“I’m so fucking proud of you,” I murmur against his lips. He grips my head and groans.

“I trust you, baby.”

It floors me.

I can’t speak as he pulls away and checks out his new tattoo. I’m frozen in place. He trusts me. I hear his gasp.

“Holy fuck, Roxy.”

I turn and stare at it through the mirror, worried he hates it. What started as a joke actually means something now. He trusted me enough to touch him… Fuck, what was I thinking? It’s some of his skin peeled away where the scar is, and underneath it are moving snake coils, like his skin was flayed away to reveal the viper underneath. Diesel’s details make it look so much better, and there’s no dick. I figured Garrett was too brave for that shit.

He turns, his eyes wide and shocked. “Baby—”

I shrug. “She might have cut you up, Garrett, but underneath all that skin is a viper, a predator, stronger than ever.”

He storms towards me, and I hold my breath, but he tugs me against him and kisses me hard, desperately, lovingly, before leaning his forehead against mine. “I fucking love it.”

“Yeah?” I ask.

He nods, but then narrows his eyes teasingly. “What did you draw on my ass?”

I pull away and point at Diesel. “He did it!” I yell, before starting to run.

I hear him pulling down his pants. “Roxy!” he shouts while I laugh.

Garrett catches me, though, and scoops up my legs and holds me to his chest. “A heart? Really?”

“It’s cute.” I grin, and he snorts as he brings me back to the living room. “What trouble can we get up to now?” I question, wiggling my brows.

It turns out we could get into a lot of trouble. I seem to have started a prank war among the Vipers, but these criminals don’t fill water balloons with flour or hide fake snakes somewhere. No, they play it for fucking real. It’s crazy, and I can’t help but laugh as we mess with Kenzo’s car. We decided to spray paint it, which I’m betting is worth millions. I draw dicks on it, because why not, and so does Diesel. Garrett helps, and we all giggle like kids as we do it.

For Ryder, we head to his office which is below the apartment. Diesel suggests a grenade under his chair, but we luckily manage to veto that idea. I really want to ask where he got the grenade, but honestly, it doesn’t even surprise me. Instead, we do something equally as crazy.

We buy a brothel in his name.

All communications are sent to his email, and within a few minutes, he calls us. “What the fuck is happening? Have I been hacked, or did you get bored and buy a fucking…what the fuck is this shit, Garrett? Slippery Hole? What the fuck?”

I can’t stop laughing, and he must hear it. “Love, if you did this, why are they asking me if I want a test run? My preferences are…a fucking golden shower by men? Jesus, Roxxane.” But I can hear the smile in his voice. “You want war, love? You got it.” He hangs up.

Oh shit.

I’m so dead.

We all wait in the garage downstairs for Kenzo to get back, and he pulls in driving a car I’ve never seen before. It’s black, a matte black, which is hot as hell. It’s sleek, low riding, and a sports car, but honestly, I haven’t got a clue what kind. Ryder pulls in behind him, and we leap out as they slide from their vehicles, all standing around Kenzo’s car.

He comes towards us and then freezes when he sees the new paint. “You fucking didn’t,” he snarls.

“Us? We wouldn’t dare.” I bat my lashes as his eyes catch the graphic diagram of him and a stick figure.

“Darling, this car cost more than a goddamn city,” he grouses. “And to think I was going to give you your own car…”

“Wait, what?” I gasp, rushing around, but he shakes his head, holding up the keys. “That sexy as fuck machine is mine?” Normally, I would be pissed at them for buying something so expensive, but…it really is fucking sexy.

“Was going to be, but I don’t think you deserve it. Do you, brother?” he asks.

Ryder snorts. “I’m still getting emails about slip and slides of urine. I told her to behave, so I say no.”

“But it’s so pretty,” I whisper, peeking around him and gaping at the car. “Is it really for me?”

He drops the keys into my hand, but I just stand there, and his face softens. “It’s a car, darling, not a fucking kidney transplant. It’s just money, go.” He shoves me towards it, but fuck. How much did this cost? Not that I should be surprised, these idiots don’t know the concept of moderation.

I step closer, but I don’t want to even touch it. It’s so goddamn pretty…what does it mean? Is this Ryder’s way of giving me some freedom?

“Get in the fucking car, baby,” Garrett orders, so I roll my eyes and open the door, slipping into the black bucket seats, which are leather and fucking comfy as shit. The dash is covered in gadgets and lights up with bright purple LED lights.

“It’s yours,” Ryder calls. “Why don’t you take it for a spin?”

Diesel whoops and gets into the passenger seat, grinning over at me. “Gun it, Little Bird!”

“No crashing!” Ryder shouts, as I start the engine with a purr.

“Damn, I think I’m sexually attracted to this car,” I mutter, as I shut my door and drive to the barrier, which lifts. I pull out onto the road, going slow and being extra careful, this car is too pretty to ding up, but Diesel snorts.

“Fucking gun it, Little Bird, life is too short to go slow.”

So I do.

I laugh as we race through the city, and only on the way back do I realise I was out, I was free. Yes, I had Diesel, but I could have kicked him out. I didn’t even think about it. What does that mean? I’m quiet as we drive back and pull into the garage where the others are still waiting. They are arguing, but it stops when we pull up and I slip out.

“I love it,” I tell them, but I’m also confused, and Ryder must notice.

“Come on, love, I need your help with some more paperwork.”

Looking back at the car, I nod and follow after him. I lose myself in the work, trying not to question why I didn’t escape. That night, I feign being sick and go to my room, spending the night alone for the first time in a while, and none of them come to me.

Loneliness settles in, and I can barely sleep. I stare out of the window, wondering what I have become.

Do I want to stay?

I don’t know, I really don’t, and that scares me. It’s so easy to get lost in their lives, but I don’t want to lose myself. Not again. I have to be me, and they encourage that, especially Diesel, but…but what if I can’t be myself here?

Fuck knows I don’t blend with their rich friends, but does that matter?

When the sun comes up, I have no more answers than when it set. I’m confused and feeling like shit. They do all these nice things for me, they buy shit for me and give me everything I could ever want.

But is it enough?

What if what I need can’t be bought?

But has to be given?