Reborn: Chapter 19

Gaster and Sam appeared mere seconds later, waiting patiently as I shifted back. Then, my favorite goblin dug out another sheet with which to fashion a toga for me, and I filled them in on what I’d found.

“He’s completely lost himself to the beast.” My lips were pressed into thin lines as I tried to figure out what the hell I could do now. “I’m going to have to keep pushing, bit by bit, until I figure out the key to breaking through to my Shadow.”

Gaster’s face was uncharacteristically solemn. “Are you sure that the man is not lost without hope? It has been known to happen, and I’m not sure that those lost are ever truly recovered.”

“He’s still there,” I said firmly. “After everything he’s gone through, I seriously doubt this is the moment he gives into the dark side.”

Gaster didn’t look convinced. “If what you’ve said is true, you might be the one thing that Shadow could not handle losing. He doesn’t remember why, but he knows deep inside that he’s broken beyond repair. From what I heard, Shadow destroyed worlds for you. He dismantled the Solaris System with a swipe of his power. Literal worlds fallin—”

“Holy fuck.” I gasped, interrupting him. “He said he would let the Shadow Realm fall, if it was a choice between that world and me.” My eyes met Gaster’s. “He said that to me when we were in the realm, but it’s just an expression, right? A super sexy, hot-as-hell expression that made me feel all the things. But no one literally destroys worlds when the person they care about is hurt…”

A sad chuckle emerged from the goblin. “You don’t understand. Shadow didn’t just sever all the connections to the worlds and then hole up in his lair. Since you were taken from him, he has struck a path of destruction through the ten worlds. With enough force that I’m not sure all of them can recover.”

Well, okay then. The beast was literal, a good point to remember.

“We can still fix it all,” I said with more confidence than I felt. “I’ll give him a few hours to calm down because he’s a wee bit angry at the moment. But tomorrow morning, first thing, I’m going to be on his ass like a goddamn barnacle until he learns to love me again. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s wearing people down.”

I repeated this in English for Sam, and she smiled. “Embrace your strengths, right?”

That almost got a laugh from me. “You’re handling this fairly well,” I said, impressed with her calm demeanor. “Are you saving up your freak-outs for later? I often do that.”

She shrugged. “I’m trying this new thing where I just go with the flow. Sometimes it works; other times I fail miserably. Today I’m somewhere between the two.”

I patted her on the arm. “Stick with me. You’ll be adjusted to the randomness of life in no time.”

My words didn’t seem to be reassuring for her, but she didn’t argue either.

“If you’re going back into the lair, I think it’s best if we get some food and rest,” Gaster said, falling into his concierge role.

“Is the dining hall gone too?” I asked sadly.

He paused, and it was clear he had no idea. “We should find out.”

Stepping through the library, we finally managed to maneuver our way into the dining hall, which, surprisingly, was completely untouched. Robot servers intact and everything. They rushed straight up to us when we walked through the door, like waitstaff desperately waiting for their first customers to arrive.

“Hmm,” Gaster said, seeming confused. “I thought the master had destroyed all the magic of the library, but it’s still quite strong here.”

“I can understand you!” Sam said with a shout before she lowered her voice. “Oh, wow, it’s nice to talk after resorting to sign language.”

Gaster’s face lit up. “Oh, yes, the ability to communicate lowers so many barriers between races and worlds. I will enjoy discussing many of your life achievements.”

Sam didn’t laugh and quip something like “Oh, that will be a short discussion,” like I would have. Instead, she returned his nod, and in as formal a tone said, “I look forward to that day, sir. “

Match made in heaven, even if their formal talk in the dining hall did depressingly remind me of Angel. My best friend who was out in the worlds, with no memory of me.

As soon as I got through to Shadow, we had to track down the rest of our pack.

But first, food.

“Please give me one of everything,” I told the server, elated that my appetite was finally back.

The small fae-created robot scurried off, swift and nimble. They were ingenious and perfect for this role, able to balance cartloads of dishes and never mix up an order.

“It was nice of you to order for us,” Sam said with a smile, settling into her chair.

Right… “No problem.”

Gaster shot me a knowing look, well aware of my love of this place and my ability to eat enough for three grown shifters. But he didn’t correct me in front of our new friend. Dude had my back, and I would always have his, no matter what happened in these worlds.

Sam and Gaster continued to converse while we waited, so excited to be given this gift of understanding. It seemed that they had quite a lot in common, especially the way Sam was very well-read in my least favorite genre: the classics.

Gaster was in nerd-goblin heaven.

And all I could think about was Shadow.

I’d never ached for another being the way I did for him. I’d been attracted to Jaxson and other shifters, and my vagina had certainly done her fair share of whining about our dry spell, but that was pure horny-girl-hormone stuff. It was nothing compared to the deep-seated ache that started low in my gut and fanned out through every part of my body when I thought of Shadow.

It was beyond intense, to the point that sitting here and not running back into the lair to be near him, even if he was more beast than person at the moment, took real effort.

“How could Dannie do this to me?”

It was a rhetorical question. We’d already been over it all. We’d already discussed the stone and its many varied ways of corrupting my former friend. But the grief in my chest needed a place to release.

Sam placed her hand on my shoulder, and while she didn’t say anything, her touch was comforting to me.