『Day Five』

Day Five

I didn't see much of Tomohisa during school hours. I was surprised to see that he did show up for book club. He smiles at me as he walks in. He looked his usual pretty self with his soul capturing smile.

I noticed that Shizuka was even surprised that he would be showing up. She smiles at him, and his smile grew to be a sad one. I was jealous. He still had feelings for her.

"Good seeing you here Tomo. It has been a while." She says as she approached him.

"It has been."

"So who's the girl this week?" She smirks.

"No one." He says calmly.

I was hurt. I felt a sting to my chest. He basically called me 'no one' like I was nothing. He could of said me, and she would of laughed. I would of much rather preferred that then simply being called a 'no one' by Tomo.

"I see. Have you stopped your habits? You should just let the right one come to you instead of pursuing them like this." She smiles.

"They do approach, and come to me. I don't ask out anyone." He replies.

"Ah I see." She giggles. "You sure are popular."

"I wouldn't say popular." He scratches his head. "I'll see you." Tomo leaves Shizuka, and walks over to me with a smile.

I looked away, trying to hide the fact that I had just heard all that. He clearly thinks I'm a nobody.

"Is something wrong?"

"No."

"I'm sorry. I should be honest right?" He said it as if he could read my mind. Was this man not only perfect, but a psychic as well?

"It's okay. I mean it doesn't matter." I tried to play it off.

"I only keep it from her because I know she will criticize no matter who it is. She has done it to multiple girls I've dated before. I don't want her to insult you." He bows. "I truly mean that. Please believe me."

I couldn't be angry with him. He was quite cute with the way he acts. I chuckled. "I am not angry. I believe you."

"Oh? Thank you Sono. You are the best."

My heart skipped a beat. I'm the best? The way he said it was so loving. I couldn't explain it, but it made me like him a bit more. No! Sono no! Don't like him. It's ending soon. I kept making a mental note to myself that this relationship will end really soon.

We all gathered in a circle, and talked about a new thriller that we've been reading. It was about a little girl that got abandoned in a car, and was left in the middle of the highway alone. I specifically watched if Tomo would look at Shizuka. He didn't look at her once. I was shocked.

My eyes couldn't leave Tomohisa throughout the whole discussion. I hoped to god no one saw me.

======

Tomo looked at me after the book club meeting was over. He smiles sweetly. "I saw you staring at me." He chuckles.

I started blushing. "Well I was just curious to see how you acted in the club. I never really payed attention to you before." I looked away, hoping he didn't know the real reason why I was staring at him. He was just so beautiful.

"Oh? Well I act pretty normal. No funny business." He laughs.

"Can I ask you something personal if I hadn't already?" I wanted to confront him on his feelings for Shizuka.

"Sure." He smiles.

"Do you still like her?"

"Shizuka?"

"Mm-hmm."

"I care, but I don't love her in a romantic way anymore. Are you worried?" He chuckles.

"N-no." I took a step back.

"It's cute you are worried. No worries, when I am with someone, I am one-hundred percent committed to them."

"That doesn't mean you won't have feelings for another."

"That is true, but I have no emotions towards her. I care for her wellbeing, but that is about it."

I gave a small pout. "Sorry for asking. I just had to know."

"Aw no...." He looks away with a small smile. "She is not as great as you. You focus on me, and I enjoy that."

"Well of course. You are technically my boyfriend right now." I laughed.

"I know." He looks down smiling. "I'm happy to know that you were concerned about her. Or me still liking her." He chuckles. "Shall I walk you home today?"

"I feel bad when you do that. I rather you not waste your time." I wanted him to, but I knew this act of kindness will only escalate my feelings.

"I want to spend my time with you. It isn't a crime is it?" He replies.

"I suppose not."

"Want to go to the mall today?"

Malls weren't my favorite places to be. I always come across clothes I wish could fit me. "Um...sure."

"Say no now before we go." He chuckles.

"I'll go." I nodded. I didn't want to be picky. He has done above, and beyond for me at this point.

"Okay. Let's go. We can take the bus if we go now."

"Okay." My inner child was excited. I was always excited when I see Tomo now. I guess I am falling on the bandwagon. This guy is pretty irresistible.

======

We got off the bus at the shopping center. It wasn't clustered with people like how it would be on the weekends. Tomo hopped off before me, and waited for me. He's sweet.

I got off, and we walked alongside each other. It felt natural yet odd to walk next to him. We are on two completely different levels. It made me sad, but I couldn't live in sadness forever. I have to enjoy the moment for what it was.

"Whoa..." He says as his eyes glued on a purse. It was cream colored pink with gold, and diamonds on the rails. It was clearly Hello Kitty themed.

"Chicks be buying this stuff." I rolled my eyes.

"Mhm..." He nods, and starts walking faster to a stall full of sunglasses. He had a very feminine walk. Overall Tomohisa was a pretty feminine guy in terms of his looks, and strut. Pretty boys got it all I tell you.

His eyes wander to mine. Sometimes I get lost in his stares. His lashes were long, his orbs would pierce. I looked away.

"Want a pair? For the summer?" He asked as he held a pair of sunglasses in his hand.

"I'm okay." I said.

"I feel I should buy you something as your boyfriend." He looks away.

"You don't need to. Love isn't about gifts." I chuckled.

He had a pained expression on his eyes. It was the first time I've witnessed him looking upset. I almost wanted to hug him, but I was too scared he would be disgusted by me, and push me away.

"Are you okay?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"I'm fine." He sighs.

"You seem bothered."

"Just not sure how to act towards another man, and I'm scared." He rubs his arm.

"Scared? Why? It isn't permanent." I found myself feeling an internal pain just saying those words.

"I suppose so. Want to go sit somewhere to eat?"

"Where did you want to go?"

"I guess a bakery. I'm craving something sweet." He smiles slightly.

Sweets was something I feared. I had a crazy sweet tooth that has became the death of me. I didn't want to seem fatter than I already was. "Eh you sure?" I asked nervously.

"I am. Stop being so conscious of yourself, it will make you unhappy Sono." His lips pursed together.

"Sorry. It's just a force of habit at this point. I know it must be a turn off."

"Let's go." He ignores my statement, and began walking. I trailed awkwardly behind him. I messed up our flow. I hate myself.

======

I ended up ordering waffles. They smelled like heaven. I took generous bites, trying my best to not be self conscious of how I ate.

Tomo ate small portions of a coffee cake. He didn't seem to enjoy his meal as much as I did. That wasn't a surprise to me since I'm a pig at heart.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He produces a bogus smile.

"You know, you have really beautiful features that girls would dig." I spoke up. It was weird complimented him. I didn't want to say something that may potentially creep him out.

"Eh? Like what?" He stirred his spoon in his latte.

"Well...lashes...long." I started stuttering my words. "Your walk is elegant."

He frowned. "Oh." He sighs. "Not something a man is proud to hear."

I frowned as well. Did I upset him? I guess no man wants to be told he's feminine. "I'm sorry! I spoke without thinking!" I bowed.

"No, it's okay. You meant well. I just personally don't like being compared to a woman or a woman's action."

"I see. I apologize."

"It's quite alright Sono." He chuckles.

It got quiet. I wanted to start a conversation. I wanted to talk about things outside the box. He is my boyfriend after all. I should have no shame. I took a deep breath. "Tomo, may I ask you something?" I asked.

"Sure."

"Are you a virgin like me?" I blushed madly. I announced to someone I hardly knew my secret to being a virgin. I knew it was obvious I was one, but to admit it to someone was a whole new level for me.

"I'm actually not." He looks off.

It caught me off guard. I guess I should have expected it. He probably did it with...her. "Is it with....well you know?"

"It's not Shizuka. I rather not discuss this. Sorry." He looks out the window.

"I'm sorry." Tomo was pretty neutral today. He didn't seem overly happy or romantic as usual. I guess this is how he will act. He will gradually fade his affections as days pass by. It was painful, but I had to expect it by now. Was I really falling for a guy?

"It's fine." I nodded.

======

Tomo walked with me home after we had gotten off the bus. He didn't say much. The wind of the night made me shiver.

"Want my jacket?" He asked.

"No, I'm okay."

I felt warmth on my shoulders. Tomo gave me his jacket anyways. I blushed with this stabbing pain in my chest. He is still showing signs of affection. It hurts.

I walked, and walked. All I could hear was wind, and cars passing by. I wanted to tell him that it's starting to hurt. I wanted to tell him that I'm potentially falling for him. I didn't know how. Will he look at me with disgust? Will he cut my days with him short?

"Tomo." I finally said as we reached my porch.

"Mhm?" He looks at me.

"I..I think I'm falling for you..."

To Be Continued