Chapter 4

Nathan

This is it. First lab session with Ryder Dela Cruz.

Mr Wilson assigns us each a table in the bio lab so we end up in the last row near the back door. Ryder slides into his seat while I make a show of slowly arranging my things to avoid talking to Ryder. Thankfully, he doesn't feel like talking either. In this short amount of time, I quickly devise a plan to run away in the unlikely-but-possible event that Ryder pounces on me in an outburst of anger or something. Since our table is near the back door, I can run out through there. But I probably don't have the speed to run out in time, so, to buy myself some time, I should duck as he makes the first move or something, making Ryder momentarily disoriented (hopefully) and thus, I will be able to run out in time.

Then I scrap that thought. It probably won't work anyway.

Mr Wilson's thick voice brings me back to reality, briefing us on dissecting a frog, and after that, he asks everyone to collect the apparatus and one frog. I am about to go but Ryder rises up without a word and gets everything. When he returns, I help him set the table (mostly because I kind of feel bad for letting him take everything). (And also for thinking he might attack me.)

Mr Wilson walks us through the whole dissection. Ryder made the first cut, but he kept gagging and saying "Oh god" multiple times so I took the scalpel from him and carried on from there. Once, my hand accidentally bumped his and its coldness shocked me, even though it was only a nanosecond. I suppose he's got poor blood circulation, or maybe anemia. The other options are highly unlikely, like diabetes, thyroid disease etc. Wait, anxiety is also another factor, but why would Ryder get anxious? Isn't that a me thing?

Ryder isn't actually that bad. I mean, other than him not talking most of the time, he's actually pretty nice, I suppose. We take turns with the dissection thing. Ryder retches again, and a small laugh escapes from my mouth. I don't know why, maybe something about this (Ryder: the Tough One who is close to losing his breakfast) is kind of funny and ironic. Ryder glares at me and I stop, feeling like I'm caught red-handed, but Ryder's features suddenly soften and he actually smiles a little. Well, that's new.

*

Finally, the session's finished. I honestly don't want to prod around a poor frog's insides anymore.

"Don't forget about your presentation!" Mr Wilson reminds us as we begin leaving the lab. 3 weeks. That's more than enough time. If I did all the work, that is.

"See ya," Ryder says, giving me an eighth of a smile. I nod back, mostly because I'm too socially awkward to even say bye back. (Yeah, I'm that bad at male - more so human - socialisation.) Then, he heads off and joins Sinclair and Vahn. Wow. Today went better than the 128 scenarios I thought of in my head. I feel . . . relieved, I suppose. I can't believe I spent so much time and effort worrying about nothing. I walk back to class alone, already feeling lighter.

*

An unknown number texts me later at night.

Unknown: Hey, this is Nathan, right?

Me: yeah

Me: and you are . . . ?

Unknown: It's Ryder

Oh. Wait. How did he even get my number? My fingers quickly type out the question, but as I am about to hit send, I remember: We're in the same class group chat. Of course. He probably got my number from there.

Ryder: About the PowerPoint thing

Ryder: I was thinking if you're ok with going to each other's place to do it?

I pause for a second. Would I want him at my house? I mean, my parents would definitely say something, since no one ever comes to my place. They know so little about my personal life that if they managed to get a hold of some morsel, they would bother me about it for aeons. They'll definitely ask lots of questions and perhaps make it uncomfortable for both of us.

Would I want to be at his place? I guess that's better in a way . . . ? I mean, he won't kidnap me and keep me in his basement or anything, right? That only happens in movies. Besides, I'm okay with him now, I suppose.

Me: where do you live?

Ryder: Just nearby school

Me: ok your place then

Welp. I'll just tell my parents that I have some extra lessons tomorrow.

Ryder: Cool

Ryder: I'll pick you up after school.

I fall back on my bed, exhausted. What have I landed myself into?

Ryder

I low-key feel bad for Nathan. I was probably too standoffish to him in bio. So, I made a mental note to be nice to him - not only to him but to everyone else as well (except for Derek, that asshole). But that didn't include inviting him to my house (though it was Nathan who said my place). I don't know why I did that. I don't even know why I brought that up. I guess it's just an excuse to have someone over to my house to kill time and boredom.

Nathan's very quiet - the only thing I heard from him is his small laugh at my gagging (in my defense, the whole frog dissection thing was pretty disgusting). He's like Vahn, but shorter and timider. He reminds me of a little mouse. Or a puppy. Or both - a mouse-puppy. Muppy? Pouse?

A sudden gust of cold air on my face interrupts my train of mouse-puppy hybrid thoughts. Damn it. The air-con's stuck again. Since I'm too lazy and tired to go fix it, I slide my blanket over my bare chest - I like to sleep shirtless - and try to go to sleep.

*

The bell rings. The last period for today is humanities elective, which is either history or geography. I took history, mostly because I'm good at regurgitating notes which is just basically what we're supposed to do. Plus, learning about dead people and how their poorly-made decisions literally made history is kinda interesting. Nathan's not in history though, he's in geography, so I have to wait for his class to end and for him to return to our class so I can take him to my house. (God, I sound like a child kidnapper.)

The guys have left for the mall - they wanted to try out the new fast food restaurant - so I'm alone in the classroom (if you don't count the other handful of history kids that have stayed behind).

The geography kids shuffle into class and so does Nathan. I finish packing my things and wait for him at his desk. He quickly packs everything in his bag and we leave the classroom together without a word. Oh god, the air of awkwardness between us is so thick, I'm nearly suffocating in it. So, I talk.

"The weather's good today right?" I start. Shit, I cringe inwardly. That's the worst possible conversation starter to use. I make another mental note to search up better conversation starters. (But, guess what, my mental board's a big fat joke; anything I put there disappears.)

"Yeah, it's not as hot as yesterday," Nathan replies, and then we fall into a short stasis. People talk loudly around us on the way out of school. It's not words, just noise, like white noise. It's weirdly therapeutic for me. We pass the loud groups of people and walk quietly towards my condo.

I speak up again, "So, do you have any pets?"

"Um, yeah. I have a golden retriever,"

"What's its name?"

He looks at me shyly. "Kirk. I wanted to name him James Tiberius Kirk, but, uh, we all decided on Kirk because it's too long."

A feeling of excitement rises in me, but I push it down. "You should get a bulldog next. Name him Bones. Or a german shepherd, Spock," I suggest nonchalantly, but I sound like I'm rambling.

His eyes widen and he grins. "And a toy poodle named Chekov!"

I raise my eyebrows and smirk. "Reboot?" I am this close to unleashing my inner fanboy. Damn it. I stop myself again.

"Yeah." Nathan nods. We enter the building, go up the elevator and arrive at my door.

"Uh . . . this is my house," I say as I hold the door open for Nathan and we step into my house. "It ain't much but it's home." He looks around the otherwise sparse apartment and nods impressively.

"Do you live alone?"

"Yeah, 'cause I wanted to be independent and do stuff by myself so I told my aunt about it and she agreed to let me live in her condo," I explain, long story short.

But basically, until I was 15, I lived in my grandma's and aunts' place. Our house was kinda small, and with seven people living under the same roof (Me, my grandma, Aunt Cam, her wife Aunt Mars and their kids Josh and Nora), it was kind of congested. In addition to wanting to be independent, 15-year-old me was very easily irritated so the constant racket of the house annoyed the shit out of me, but I didn't tell Aunt Cam that. And also, I didn't want to be a burden to Aunt Cam and Aunt Mars, since they already have their kids to look after and cook for, so that's one less mouth to feed.

It took a lot of pestering, but Aunt Cam finally gave in and also gave me the "You're A Growing And Independent Boy" speech, then she and Aunt Mars decided to make me live in their (very) small condo that's been for rent since forever. A few weeks later, I got myself a part-time job at a nearby café to pay back my aunts since I felt bad, but they refused my money and told me to just maintain my good grades and not get suspended again (it was Derek's fault, not mine I swear), and that's enough for them.

I blurt out, "Do you wanna see my room?"

Nathan looks a little thrown off by my question but nods all the same. So, I bring him to my room and I can't help but see my room through his eyes.

My room is no doubt the only decorative and colourful part of my house. Numerous posters line one wall of my small room; at least eleven different band posters (Red Hot Chili Peppers, Queen, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, AC/DC, The Vaccines . . . . I could go on but you kinda get the idea), and a few Star Trek posters. A small white desk sits across my neatly made bed, pens and notes scattered on it. I should really get my desk organised soon. My whole room looks like a 17-year-old music-and-movie-crazed geek girl's room, which I probably am. Damn it.

Nathan sucks in a breath and exhales slowly. "Oh, wow." This coaxes a small smile from me (Honestly, the total number of times I smiled today is already more than an average week for me). Then, he sees my guitar bag next to my desk. "Guitar!" He points to it.

I go over and pick it up. "Oh, this thing?" I laugh and start unzipping it, sitting on my bed. Nathan is still awkwardly standing in the middle of my room, so I pat a spot next to me on my bed and he gingerly sits beside me. I play a few chords and fingerstyle a little. After I finish, he politely claps.

"Can you, um . . . can you teach me?" He asks, bashful.

I don't know if the not-so-sweltering heat did some not-so-funny shit to my eyes, but Nathan's eyes, instead of one blue and one green, are now both magenta.

"Yeah, sure." I pass him my guitar and he holds it like it's made of glass.

The guitar's a little too big for him, so he struggles a little, and because I made a note to be nice to him (Aha! I remembered something from my useless mental board!), I help him arrange the guitar on his lap. Then, I teach him the basic chords: C, A, E and G. He seems to get it easily. So, I teach him the harder ones - barre chords like F and B. This is a little tricky because Nathan has relatively smaller fingers. I try to teach him how to do it, but I'm really bad at explaining things in general (It's a miracle how I managed to teach him the other chords), so instead, I reach over and arrange his fingers into an F chord for him. His whole body tensed at my touch for a millisecond, but I continue anyway.

"Try to keep your whole finger on the first fret, or the sound won't be clear," I tell him. He struggles a bit but he gets it eventually. "There you go!" I clap and he gives me a grin too big for his face. I teach him some more until it is already 4 pm. I can't believe two hours have already passed.

"Shit, we forgot about the project," I say, but I don't mind. Teaching Nathan was definitely better than making powerpoints or researching.

"That's fine, there's still tomorrow," he reminds me, getting up. I walk him to the door. "Thanks for today though, for, uh, teaching me how to play the guitar." He gives me a smile so sweet an unexpected wave of warmth rushes through me. Then, he waves goodbye and disappears down the corridor.

Tomorrow, huh.

I smile and close the door.

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Hey pals I hope yall like this chapter:)) And also if you've noticed, my book cover is different cus it's designed by the one and only girlsandgaysOnLy!! It's so cute omg it should be on a shirt LMAOO

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