Chapter 5

Nathan

I jolt up, awake. I woke up late for school. Actually, I woke up right when my alarm sounded, but I laid back down to get a few minutes of shut-eye. Well, I slept for 20 minutes and ergo, I’m late. It's too late to take a shower so I brush my teeth and change into my clothes at the same time. Dad always drives me to school because school is along the way to his work, but since I'm late, he left without me and I have to take the train.

A still-warm cup of coffee sits on the kitchen table. I take a tiny sip of it and add two more heaping tablespoons of coffee-mate into it before downing the rest. I say goodbye to Mom and Eva, and head to the train station.

*

The train is packed with people who are impatiently tapping into their phones, calling their bosses or colleagues to update them on their progress or problems or whatever stocks there are. A middle-aged woman is chatting loudly to her friend, telling her that Joe is apparently dating Cassie. The guy beside her gives her a dirty look. I spot a handful of my school mates (though I don’t know them personally, I know most of their names; I practically know the whole school) with a panicked look on their faces and some unconcerned as if they're used to being late. I reach for the pole for balance, but it's full of people holding onto it, so I put my hand back down and try to steady myself.

I put on my earphones, listen to Vance Joy and block out the rest of the world.

*

Being late to school means writing down your name and reason for being late on a sheet of paper outside the general office and standing in the foyer until the usual morning announcements are done, and then we go to class. It's so boring. Everything is boring, actually.

Well, except for yesterday when I was at Ryder's house playing the guitar. That was the first time in a really long time that I did something fun. Plus, I have acquired a new skill besides scrolling through Tumblr, re-reading books or wasting my pen ink on flower doodles every day. I feel the corners of my mouth turn up a little. I open my notebook and start doodling tiny flowers on the corner of the page as Mr Lee starts the lesson about probability.

Ryder

I catch myself thinking about Nathan during lunch. I don't know why. Something about his smile, maybe, when he said goodbye to me left me with a nice warm feeling inside. Or maybe it's because I've never had any people except my grandma or my aunts - occasionally Nick and Sin - at my house and yesterday was probably the best time I’ve had. I still remember his small fingers struggling to get the chords right and his excited smile when he finally got it. I smile at the memory and vaguely realise that everyone at the table has stopped talking. I look up from my food and see six pairs of eyes staring at me.

"What?" I pull the corners of my mouth down in a scowl.

"Dude," Poe breathes. "Ryder just smiled."

Ethan adds, "Yeah, man,"

I reply, "I smile plenty of times." which is a big lie.

"No, you don't," Poe scoffs. "You barely crack a smile when Derek makes jokes!"

That's because his jokes are lame and unoriginal, I want to say but I keep my mouth shut. Better not waste my breath on him.

"You okay, bro?" Nick teases me, playing along. He - and also Sin, and probably Nathan too - is probably the only person who has seen my rare smiles in my life.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." I wave all of them away. "Why are you all spooked at me smiling? What about Vahn?" I tilt my chin towards Vahn. Then, he smiles at me. It's a playful grin that shocks me to my core. This is probably a once in a blue moon thing. To be honest, it enhances his already-hot features by a hundred times. Sinclair looks like he wants to be me so bad, I almost laugh.

"Woah guys," Derek whispers to us. "In my time here at Fernwood, I've never seen Ryder or Vahn smile. Ever."

Yeah, I know, Captain Obvious. I resist the urge to roll my eyes at him. Honestly, if I want to kill myself, I will climb up his ego and fall on his IQ level.

"Bro, I - He - They -" Poe stutters.

"Dude, I think my eyes are shitting me!" Ethan palms his eyes.

Everyone laughs, then Vahn gives out a small laugh which makes Ethan and Poe hysterical. And Sin, oh. my. god. Sin. He’s blushing so much if he were a colour he would be McDonald Red. I can’t help but laugh at him.

I don’t know why everyone’s making such a big deal out of this, but I'm glad the guys didn't ask why I was smiling or they'll probably just laugh at me (even if I tried to lie about it). I could tell Nick and Sin though, but I'm not sure what to say to them. I still don't know what to make of yesterday, of Nathan. I try to brush all my thoughts away. That's a problem for another day.

*

Finally, the bell rings. I honestly can't take any more math. It's bad enough to have math for the first period but for the last period too? What a great way to start and end the day. The probability of Ryder losing his shit about math is very high, I should write that down in my math homework.

"Yo, you coming to the bubble tea shop?" Nick asks me.

"Nah, man, I got something up," I reply, packing my things. (That's my go-to answer when I don't feel like going out with my friends.)

Nick stands up from his desk, his bag slung over one shoulder. "Okay, see you tomorrow." And he's gone.

A small shadow falls on my desk as I zip my bag close. I look up and see Nathan, standing timidly. Right. The bio project. Turns out I do have something up (I guess I forgot to put this on my mental noticeboard). I stand, put on my bag and stuff my hands in my pocket.

"Hello," he says in a small voice.

"Hey." I puff my cheeks and exhale. "Let's go."

*

I gather my notes while waiting for my computer to turn on. Nathan is still standing near my bed, unsure of what to do, so I bring a chair from the kitchen and make room for him at my desk. Nathan looks at me quizzically so I awkwardly pat the chair.

"Come," I say, "sit." He takes his file and gingerly sits on the chair. I open up the PowerPoint app and ask him, "What are we supposed to do again?"

"Um . . . " He clears his throat. "We are supposed, uh, present what we've learned from the practical, and . . . " he explains more but I'm not listening because suddenly - I don't know why - I become fixated on him.

I start to notice every single little thing about him since we are seated so close to each other our knees are almost touching. I take in his soft dark orange hair that falls over his eyes, the freckles that are scattered across the bridge of his nose, his big eyes behind his gold-rimmed glasses - the right one ocean blue and the other emerald green. I even notice his eyelashes, long and light, only someone sitting this close to him can see them. I also notice the way he constantly pulls at his sweater sleeves. The way his small fingers repeatedly rub at the corner of his notebook page. The way his voice is like warm tea pouring into a waiting cup that is my whole body.

I notice every single tiny detail about him and it’s like looking at a masterpiece.

Nathan's head turns to me, and I jump a little in my seat. I feel like I'm caught red-handed. "Did you get all of that, Ryder?" He cocks his head a little to the side like a little puppy.

I shake my head to clear all the thoughts from my mind. "I didn't get the last part," I say sheepishly. "Can you repeat that?"

"Sure," he says. Basically, we have to do a PowerPoint presentation for the frog dissection lab practical that we did last week, which I already know. The PowerPoints have to contain a) The anatomy of a frog, b) The digestive system of a frog, c) Comparison between that of a frog and a human's, and d) Diseases and/or illnesses that can affect the digestive system of a human. In addition, we must also write a script for the presentation with at least 300 words in total. Huh. That's tricky.

"How are we supposed to say 300 words about the digestive system of a frog?" I ask him. I mean, there's nothing much to say except that frogs have an intestine, a stomach, blah blah blah. . .

"Don't worry, we'll find a way," says Nathan, giving me a smile. The same smile that sends me feeling warm and at ease. I should return his smile, but I immediately turn to the computer, embarrassed, hoping he doesn't see my face reddening.

We take turns on the computer, both of us sometimes using our phone to research more. It's so quiet when we work. The only sounds are the occasional questions we ask each other, the satisfying tapping of the keyboards, Nathan's steady breathing. It's all so relaxing. Once, our knees accidentally touch and I jump back. Nathan jumps in his seat too, but it's probably because he's startled by my sudden movement.

"Uh, sorry," I mumble, and heat seeps into my cheeks. Ugh. The humiliation; it never ends.

Much too soon, it's already 4 pm. I crack my knuckles. Surprisingly, we managed to get about three quarters of our slides done. That's a lot of progress for a day. We still have about two weeks to finish the slides and our script. Plenty of time. I stand and shake some feeling into my legs. I look over at Nathan, sitting on my bed, packing his things.

"Hey," I say to him, "we did a good job today, almost finishing the slides and all." Nathan looks up at me, smiling, and I think my eyes are shitting me again because instead of blue and green, they have taken on a soft yellow-orange hue.

"Woah." I blink hard, thinking that staring at the computer screen for too long messed up my eyes. Nathan looks away, embarrassed, but I see his eyes change to magenta at the last minute. "Your eyes," I say. "They just changed colours."

Nathan looks back at me. His eyes are still magenta. "Um, yeah." He looks away again.

I sit beside him on my bed, but not too close. "How . . . ?"

"It's been like that since I was young - born with it. My parents thought it was a disease." He gives out a small laugh - light and shy, like him. "So, they, um, brought me to the hospital, and the doctor said it's a rare condition or something like that. Apparently, my eyes, uh, change colour depending on my mood. I tried to search it up, but all I could find was eyes that slightly change colour, not entirely. I can't actually feel my eyes change colour, but, um, from the surprised or, occasionally, horrified looks I got, I could tell."

I nod, and after a while, I say, "Well, I think it's really cool." And adorable, I add in my head.

Nathan gives me a cute lopsided grin which makes my heart flutter in a way it never has before. "Thanks." He stands up, "I, um . . I should get going." So, I get up and walk him outside.

"Bye, Nathan." I wave to him.

"Bye, Ryder." He smiles, waving goodbye to me. Then he disappears down the corridor just like yesterday.

I close the door, smiling giddily, heart jittery, and that's when I realise I may or not be hopelessly in love with Nathan.

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