CH 64
101st Confession
<CHAPTER 64
âHmm, a party.â
âItâs pretty big this time. Lucia, are you sure you want to come?â
Lucia looked at the invitation Christine had given her and smiled.
âOf course. Itâs the official launch of your business. Iâll come with Bern. Is that okay?â
âOf course! Of course, Iâll have to send another invitation to the Marquis of Casper!â
âHo-ho, Iâll see a lot of beautiful women there, wonât I?â
Hearing Brianâs words, Christine pouted and looked at him.
âYou still have nothing but women in your head, when are you going to grow up?â
âI canât help it, pretty girls canât get enough of me, thatâs why handsome men are sinners.â
âWell, I pity anyone who would marry you.â
Lucia giggled at the sight of Christine and Brian still bickering.
Lucia visited Christineâs house after a long time. He and Brian were the only visitors to see if only close people were invited.
âBrian, donât you think you should settle down a bit? You canât live like that forever.â
âLucia, are you even saying that?â
âTake it from her. Lucia would have said the same thing.â
Christine poured herself another drink, and Brian leaned back in his chair with an approving look on his face.
âIâm going to be living with the woman my father chose for me anyway, so a little deviation is a good thing.â
Brian replied, his handsome face set in a grim line.
There was a sense of pressure in his voice.
âIs your father still pushing you around?â
Christine frowned, sensing something was wrong, and Brian glanced at her.
âHe always has, thank goodness Iâm the second oldest, so I have a little more freedom than you do, though Iâm such an asshole it doesnât matter.â
Brian was the second son of the Earl of Chersis, a knight for generations. Naturally free-spirited, he grew up oppressed under a stern father and had many grievances against his father and family.
Perhaps thatâs why he always wanted to be the opposite of what his father wanted him to be.
âIs that where his attraction to women comes from?â
He likes women and changes his girlfriends frequently, but heâs not a scandalous or debauched person.
He tends to live by his own rules and certain lines.
On the contrary, they heard that people who approached the appearance of being free often fall out because it was different from what they thought.
âStill, as you say, I should end this kind of life soonâ¦â¦.â
âYes, you better do, what if your future fiancée misunderstands you?â
âOf course, he should get along well with his fiance. Itâs the manâs fault because thereâs nothing wrong with his fiancee.â
As expected, Lucia showed her straight face and smiled lightly.
âCome on, why donât we get engaged? Our parents know each other, so we can talk about itâ¦â¦.â
Brian whispered to Christine with a smirk that was almost too good to be true.
Christine glared at him, unable to contain her disdain.
âThatâs horrible to think about, and you shouldnât say that, even in jest.â
âIâm not kidding, Iâm serious, and it makes me so sad that you donât know how I feel.â
Christine shook her head as Brian looked like he was crying on purpose. Still, she glanced over at him.
Lucia, who had been watching their usual conversation from afar, scratched her head.
âDoes Brian like Christine?â
Now that she thought about it, she remembered Brian saying something like that to Christine every once in a while.
He wasnât asking her out, so why was he asking her to get engaged?
âBrian doesnât like me, and I want to marry him, but he avoids me at the drop of a hat.â
This is what Brianâs ex said to her once when she ran into her in tears.
She knows, he never seems to bring up the subject of engagement or marriage with his lovers.
Lucia squinted and stared at Brian, and Brian, who was playing with Christine, turned his head.
âWhat, did I get something on my face?â
âHuh? Oh, nothing.â
Snapping out of her thoughts, Lucia scratched her cheek absently.
âOh, thatâs right. Brian, you said you had business at the Phoenaeus mansion tomorrow, didnât you?â
Luciaâs hand twitched as Christine mentioned Phoenaeus to her lips.
âI wanted to give him an invitation in person, but I couldnât reach him, so would you please deliver this invitation tomorrow?â
âOf course. Okay. Iâll give it to Herwin.â
Brian took another invitation and tucked it into his pocket.
âI was going to come myself since I havenât heard from him either. Whatâs going on with him that I havenât heard from him?â
âI donât know, itâs not like itâs been going well, but⦠maybe somethingâs been going on?â
âI donât think heâd be busy at this time of yearâ¦â¦.â
As Lucia listened to their conversation, she thought about Herwin.
She hadnât written to him or spoken to him since the day she decided to give up on him.
ââ¦â¦I think we were fine last time.â
Heâd seemed fine until heâd driven her home.
âOf course, I was in a bad mood when we parted ways.â
Lucia gave a self-deprecating laugh, though she briefly wondered if it was because of the conversation sheâd had with him.
âOf course not.â
Too much self-consciousness. Lucia shook her head, her imagination running wild.
* * *
âWhat? Where are you going?â
âI told you, Christineâs having a party tonight.â
Lucia, who was getting dressed for the party, frowned at Lucasâ sudden entrance.
He hadnât been home for days and now he was making a scene.
âNo, is it that surprising that Iâm attending a party?â
âIf you want to go, you can go.â
âThatâs not it, youâre going with the Marquis!â
Was that the point of his anger?
Lucia was fed up with Lucasâ apparent emotions.
âWell, Iâm going with Bern, who else would I go with?â
âNot him! Stop it now! Youâd rather go with me!â
âNo. Bern will be here in a few minutes, so get out of my way.â
Lucia threw her hands up in annoyance and looked at her accessories.
Lucas tapped his chest in frustration at her nonchalance.
âForget it, listen to me. You canât be a marquise.â
When Lucas said the same thing again, Lucia sighed heavily and looked back at him.
âWhy no, if youâre going to tell me you donât like Bernâ¦â¦â
âHe had a girlfriend he was almost married to!â
Lucasâ words made Lucia pause. The maids noticed the strange air between the siblings.
âWait, everyone out.â
Once the maids were out, Lucia stood up and looked at Lucas.
âWhat the hell does that mean?â
âI meant to tell you right away, but something came up and I didnât.â
He had meant to tell Lucia the day Becky told him what had happened in Bern, but a mountain of work had caught up with him and he hadnât been able to get back to the mansion.
âThe Marquis of Casper has been in a relationship with a girl from his school days, and although their families are of different origins, they love each other enough to not care about that, and have even promised to marry.â
Lucasâ words suddenly reminded Lucia of Celine Romario.
âRight after he broke up with her, the Marquis de Casper never left the house for a year, and Iâm sure it was because of his heartbreak!â
âSo, what does that have to do with anything?â
âWhat does it matter, if she comes back, heâll be shaken!â
Luciaâs hands twitched.
âIs there any law that says the Marquis of Casper canât be shaken if she comes back when heâs engaged to you as it is and has promised to marry you?â
He had a point. If what he said was true, Bern would be shaken.
Compared to his madly in-love ex, she was nothing more than an emotionless, arranged marriage. But-
âIs that it?â
âLucia, thatâs all. What a big deal this is!â
âBrother. There is no one without a first love in their life, everyone falls in and out of love, and thatâs the same for you. How many lovers are you with now?â
âNot like me! I loved my lovers too, but not to the extent of Marquis Casper.â
âWell, it certainly sounds like Bern is very attached to his previous relationship. But if thatâs the case, Iâm the same.â
âWhy would you be the sameâ¦â¦.â
Lucas trailed off, his eyes slowly widening.
âIâve been in love with Herwin for a long time, even if we werenât dating, and I still havenât gotten over it, and if he asked me to marry him now, Iâd be shaken, because Iâm no different than Bern.â
Lucas puffed his mouth. Even if he wanted to say that she could never do that, he couldnât bring himself to say it when he saw the sadness in those walls.
âAnd itâs not going to happen the way you think, because Bernâs ex is already married.â
âWhat?!â
âI guess you didnât realize that.â
Lucia began to gather her things.
âNo, no, no. Did you know this?â
âNot exactly, but sort of. Iâve seen her a few times at tea parties.â
âAnd you knew about it, and yetâ¦â¦.â
âIsnât that what arranged marriages are all about?â
Lucia gave a bitter laugh.
âAnd Bern wouldnât do anything to cheat on me, and that goes for me too.â
Sheâd made up her mind when sheâd decided she was going to be engaged to Bern. She hadnât been able to ask Bern, but she suspected he felt the same way.
âMy lady, the Marquis has arrived.â
Hearing the maidâs voice, Lucia opened the door.
âNow that heâs here, I must be going. There are more invitations, my brother if you wish to come.â
Lucas couldnât catch his sister as she walked away from him.
It wasnât that Bern had done anything wrong in the past, as Lucia had said, it was just that he had an ex-lover who loved him so much that he hadnât left the house for a year.
Lucas, however, was not amused.
He just hoped that Lucia would find a man who would love her unconditionally, even if it meant an arranged marriage.
ââ¦â¦Fuck!â
Even with the muffled curses coming from her room, Lucia continued on her way to the front door.
Bern was there.
âYou look beautiful today. Lucia.â
As always, his greeting was well-dressed and polite. Lucia wordlessly placed her hand in his.
Beautiful didnât feel like an empty word, but he didnât feel like he was in love either.
Bernâs eyes were softly crinkled, but the golden orbs within them were dry.
âYouâre gorgeous, too.â
âThat would be the same for me.â
Naturally, they donât love each other.
Lucia climbed into the carriage, escorted by Bern.
Sitting across from her, Bern smiled at her, and Lucia smiled back.
Suddenly, she remembered something Bern had said in the past.
âI wonder if this is why he said I resemble him?â
Herself, who had loved Herwin for so long, and Bern, who had had a lover that he loved to death, but couldnât connect with her.
Maybe he and herself. Maybe they were alike in their inability to fulfill their love.