CH 73

She wasn’t the only one who noticed that Herwin liked Lucia. Their friends would whisper whenever they saw him with Lucia.

‘Look at his eyes. It’s dripping with honey.’

‘I knew it from the beginning, because at the beginning of the semester, whenever I was talking to Lucia, he would appear like a ghost and interrupt me.’

They understand how Herwin feels. Tacitly and subtly, their friends had made room for them to have some alone time.

They quietly supported Herwin’s unrequited love, even if Bianca occasionally interrupted them.

Then, on Herwin’s birthday, it happened.

‘I didn’t realize that Lucia also had a crush on him.’

‘It’s nice that the two are like-minded, but it’s not nice when the whole school hears about it….…’

‘Bianca, you bad-! The two of them grew apart because of you!’

After being insulted in front of the whole school on Herwin’s birthday, Lucia avoided not only Herwin but also her friends the next day.

It was obvious that she was hurt, and they resented Bianca for it.

However, Herwin felt the same way, so he thought they could talk it out and resolve the situation.

They even hoped that the two of them would get together in a real relationship and completely dispel the rumors that had spread around the school.

However, to the frustration of the viewers, the two remained at odds. Fortunately, they seemed to have gotten back together after the vacation, but they don’t know if they confessed their feelings to each other.

They could only assume that it was only a matter of time before they started dating, given the way they were acting.

It’s no secret that Lucia likes Herwin, and Herwin seems to like Lucia, so why wouldn’t they get together someday?

But as time went on, the second semester, sophomore year, and junior year, the relationship remained the same.

Sometimes they were as close as lovers, other times they were just friends.

‘Do you think they’re fooling us all and having a secret love affair?’

‘But aren’t they a little quiet for that?’

‘I don’t think they’re in a relationship, they hardly ever act like two separate people.’

‘Well, sometimes they disappear and reappear together.’

There was a lot of speculation, but no one knew if Herwin and Lucia were dating.

And that was until Lucia showed up with Bern.

“I’d feel bad if you were dating and not telling us, but if you weren’t together, I’d try to set you two up somehow. Sometimes Ethan and Brian would play dirty tricks on you, and it was all to get you and Lucia together.”

Arista’s words confused Herwin.

Yes, he did have a crush on Lucia. He hadn’t realized it, but he’d had a crush on her since before he started at the Academy.

But Arista and the others were the first to recognize his feelings.

“I’m…….”

Herwin finally spoke, and Arista’s ears perked up.

“I used to like you…….”

“……….”

At a moment, Arista’s mind was lost because of Herwin, who was staring at her and speaking.

Slowly a look of disbelief crossed Arista’s face as she understood.

“What, what, me, you?”

After a moment of confusion, Arista recognized the dry look in Herwin’s eyes as he told her he liked her.

Slowly, Arista calmed down and stared at Herwin with a straight face.

“‘Used to like’ is past tense.”

Herwin nodded. His head was spinning from the unexpected turn of events. Arista squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her forehead.

“Since when did you like me?”

“Since you saved me from the ogre.”

Arista narrowed her eyes, realizing that had been a long time ago.

“Then, until when did you think you liked me?”

“Maybe two weeks ago.”

“What? Two weeks ago?”

At most, back in the Academy, Arista thought, stunned that he had liked her until recently.

She hadn’t imagined that Herwin had liked her. No, if he had liked her, she wouldn’t have known it, but how strange.

She’d had plenty of men like him in her life, and it was the easiest thing in the world to recognize when they liked her.

But Herwin had shown no such signs. If anything, she thought he liked Lucia…..…

Arista’s face paled at the thought of Lucia.

“You don’t think Lucia knows you like me, do you?”

Arista’s mouth slowly opened as Herwin bowed his head.

Her shoulders shook as she jumped to her feet and hit Herwin on the head.

“You stupid! Are you crazy? Why would you say that? Lucia likes you so much! How long has she known?”

“Since the beginning of the first year.”

That coincided with the time that Herwin had told her he liked her.

Arista remembered Lucia avoiding her back then.

Heat rose inside her as she realized how close she had come to being alienated by Lucia because of Herwin.

“You……!”

Arista swallowed hard, barely able to contain the curse word that rose to the top of her throat. She ran a hand through her hair, barely able to contain her anger.

“Is that why Lucia said she was engaged to be married to another man?”

“She brought her fiancé right after she made her final confession to me …….”

“She had a confession?”

She knew Lucia liked Herwin, but she didn’t know she’d confessed.

She hadn’t shown any signs of it since the incident on Herwin’s birthday during freshman year….…

After a moment of silence, Arista looked up at Herwin as if remembering something.

“Did you use me as an excuse to reject her confession?”

Herwin was speechless. Arista sighed as she realized she was right.

She hadn’t realized that something like this had happened between Lucia and Herwin, much less that she was caught in the middle.

She couldn’t bear to look at Lucia, even though she hadn’t done anything wrong.

‘What was she thinking…….’

If she were in Lucia’s situation, with a crush on a friend of hers, she’d be like….…

Arista clamped her mouth shut and glared at Herwin sharply.

“What the hell made you think you liked me because I saved you from an ogre, or because we’re swordsmanship buddies?”

“I sensed something special in you, something different from …… the other girls.”

“What was that special feeling?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that it’s fun to be around you, I don’t get bored, and you make me feel like I’m getting better.”

Listening to him, she didn’t sense any tender feelings of love or affection, except that he was saying he liked her.

“So, let me ask you again. Did you want to be in a relationship with me?”

Herwin hesitated, then shook his head.

“Did you ever fantasize about kissing me?”

Again, he shook his head.

“What do you think it would have been like if I told you I was engaged to someone else, like Lucia?”

“I’m sure you’d have hoped you’d end up with a man where ……everything was perfect.”

“And that man wouldn’t be you, would it?”

“No.”

So he didn’t like her.

If he liked her, he would have confessed long ago, and even if he didn’t, he would have fantasized about dating or getting engaged.

‘……just like me.’

Arista thought about Lucas for a moment, then shook her head.

“I’ll ask a different question this time. How did you feel when Lucia told you she was betrothed to the Marquis of Casper?”

Before Herwin could answer, his smooth forehead crinkled in an instant.

“I felt…strange…….”

“And when Lucia went on a date with another man?”

“I wanted to interrupt them.”

“And ……when Lucia kissed the Marquis of Casper?”

“I wish I was there……!”

The answers were definitely comparative. Why was he baffling her when the answer was so easy to find?

“Do you know ……why we thought you liked Lucia?”

Herwin, his fists shaking with anger, looked up.

“Because when you looked at Lucia, you always had the eyes of a man in love.”

“……me?”

“Yes. You never looked at anyone else, never cared about anyone else, but all your eyes were on Lucia. You’re the first person to notice when something happens to her.”

From the third party’s perspective, she could see Herwin’s eyes on Lucia.

His eyes were always on her.

If Lucia disappeared somewhere, he knew it like a ghost, could spot her instantly, even among people with similar brown hair, and never missed the slightest reaction from her.

His red eyes were filled with nothing but Lucia, though he seemed to turn a little blunt when he made eye contact with her.

“You didn’t fall in love with me, and I can see that clearly from your response now.”

“Then what was it that I felt for you?”

“Well… if I had to guess, I’d say it was admiration.”

There’s a difference between admiration and love. Like love, admiration is a feeling of feeling special about the other person. The difference with love is whether or not you see the other person as the opposite sex.

“……Why did I do that?”

Herwin’s voice was filled with deep regret.

Everyone else knew what was in his heart, but only he….…

In a dying voice, Herwin mumbled.

“Maybe the bar was set high.”

“What’s the standard?”

“My standards have always been Lucia.”

Lucia, the one who gave him everything. Lucia was the one who was overwhelmingly devoted. Lucia, the one who loved him blindly.

He didn’t think he liked her as much as she liked him.

“I thought it was love only if I could do the same for everything Lucia gave me. But you’re different from Lucia. I guess I thought I liked you because you made me feel different.”

And maybe, just maybe, Lucia had assumed that because she only liked him, she would always be there for him.

“What a stupid idea.”

“Ha… yeah. Stupid.”

There was a hint of bitterness in his voice.

Even as she realized what a fool he was, Arista felt a little sorry for Herwin.

“You like Lucia, don’t you?”

“No… I love her.”

There was a deep emotion in his voice, even more so than when he’d said he liked Arista.

“You say you love Lucia, and you’re just going to sit around drinking yourself to death?”

Herwin lifted his bowed head.

“If you keep this up, Lucia will go to another man forever, and you won’t have a chance.”

“That’s not…….”

Herwin’s hand twitched. He clenched his mouth shut, then clenched his fists.

“Do you think I should?”

“What?”

“Lucia doesn’t rely on me anymore. She may have given up on me altogether. But do you think I should approach her? If Lucia is happy, I will……”

When he saw Lucia kissing Bern, he thought there was no place for him to come between them.

He’d pushed her away so many times, and now he didn’t know if Lucia would believe him if he said he love her. No, he was afraid to even say it.

“You haven’t even started and you’re already sounding weak?”

A stinging jab pierced Herwin’s ear.

“Are you sure you won’t regret it? You’ll regret it even more if you don’t start anything and end up losing everything.”

“……….”

“It’s your turn to be brave this time.”

Arista’s words hit home. He remembered Lucia’s face, smiling at him.

He didn’t want to imagine another man by her side.

“Thank you, Arista.”

Herwin jumped to his feet as if he had made up his mind.

He strode out of the room, followed by his servants.

Left alone, Arista looked at the empty couch in front of her and muttered.

“Regret…….”

She was talking to Herwin, but maybe she was also talking to herself.

Arista slowly mulled over the word regret.