Chapter 33

Disclaimer: Two things. A) some of the topics in this chapter are a bit more mature. There's nothing too bad but if you don't want to hear about teenagers doing party drugs, I suggest skipping to the next chapter and B) apologies in advance if any of this seems unrealistic- fun fact, I've never actually been to a party at a club underage with a bunch of rich kids in Virginia haha

I'm doing this. I'm really doing this. I think about it all the way out to the car, all the way until I'm numbly sitting in the backseat with Mayah as Jase puts the key in the ignition and starts driving.

I'm really doing this. I'm really about to go to a party where rich people get drunk and high and do... whatever else rich people do. That fact alone would be enough to make my palms sweat, but my anxiety is heightened to an almost sickening amount when I realize everything I've just done in the last day, the conflicting feelings in my heart, the two boys fighting for the prime spot.

There's Noah, who's done everything right, who's been perfect and caring and sweet, but I just don't... feel a spark with.

Then there's Jase. The boy who shouldn't even be allowed a place in my heart at all, but somehow has managed to fit himself in there.

And I just broke up with Noah, so... I guess there's no competition anymore.

Oh my god. I just broke up with Noah. As much as I've been trying not to think about it, the realization sends the memory floating back through my head, the absolute trainwreck of a breakup that was. I meant to try to spare his feelings, but I ended up just confusing him- and myself- in the process. I know, I know that none of this is fair to Noah, that I did the right thing by ending it before I ended up stringing him along further, that Jase or no Jase, he just... doesn't set me on fire, paint the sky red, bring me on a rollercoaster of ups and downs and back and forths...

But do I even want that? Shouldn't I just want what's good, what's right, what's safe?

Nothing about this, not Jase, not this party, not my fragile friendship with Mayah, is safe. And yet I'm clutching onto it like it's my last hope.

What if I'm making the wrong decision? What if it's all wrong? What if I'm wrong? What if-

I hear the screech of the car tires as Jase pulls off the road, muttering something about getting gas before stepping out of the car, but at this point, I'm too anxious to notice anything around me. At least until I feel a light buzzing against my thigh, and look down to see a new text alert:

Jase: breathe, red.

Jase: u can still back out if you want, you know

Jase: the blood contract has yet to be signed

Me: I want to do this. I swear

Jase: well then what are we waiting for? We have a party to get to :)

I look out the window to see Jase casually holding the nozzle of the gas pump, resting against the car and most definitely not looking at me, but his grip is still firmly tightened around his cell phone, and there's a small smirk at the corners of his mouth.

"Are you sure you two haven't been hooking up?" Mayah asks, and her words are enough to jarr me out of my daze.

"Mayah. No. God no."

I turn away from my window as if to prove to her that I'm not looking over at Jase. "You look amazing, by the way. Cody Chasen won't be able to take his eyes off of you."

And it's true. Mayah's wearing a tight black dress with thick straps and she's gotten new braids, these ones a vibrant pink that melts back into her naturally dark hair.

"Thanks," she says tightly, not really looking at me. "But I... don't really like Cody anymore."

"Oh," I say. What else do I say? "Sooo... does this mean you like someone else?"

"People don't always 'like' someone Sienna, this isn't third grade. I'm not looking for some knight in shining armor to come sweep me off my feet," she snaps, making me recoil. "O-okay, then."

The rest of the car ride to Cody Chasen's house is silent except for the sound of the radio, and Jase briefing us, once again, on what the plan is. I can tell he doesn't particularly like Mayah, as the few moments his eyes drift away from the road are to look in the rearview mirror at my face, his words always addressing me. It's strange... it feels a bit like Mayah and Jase are from two different worlds, like they don't belong in the same universe, much less the same cab of a Tesla. Mayah is my oldest friend, the girl who made me bike into a lake on a dare, the girl I used to tell everything to and Jase... well, my relationship with him is far too complicated to put into words.

Did I say relationship? Because that's certainly not what I meant. Just... hatredship. Friendship. Competelyconfusedandfrustratedship. But certainly not relationship.

"Okay, so- just a recap. If anyone asks why I let you come..." Jase asks as we pull up to Cody Chasen's brownstone townhouse.

"If anyone asks, we're family friends. Your parents thought it would be a good idea if you tutored me, since I'm a straight-A student, but you had a party to go to. So I said I wouldn't tell on you... if Mayah and I were allowed to come."

"Excellent," Jase says, looking back at me with a slight smirk. "And if they don't ask?"

"You have no idea who Mayah and I are, we ignore you the whole night, take an Uber home."

Jase nods, straightening back in his seat and looking over right as Cody Chasen and Janine Stark climb into the car, Janine squeezing between me and Mayah and Cody taking shotgun. Jase has barely even turned the car on, starting up the engine when Cody, obviously a little bit drunk already, pulls a bottle of... something... from the inside of his jacket. "A little pregame action?" he asks, taking a swig before passing it to Jase- who pushes it back. "I'm driving, idiot. And there'll be plenty more of that in... what, twenty minutes."

"Awe, Jase, are you... scared?" Cody asks, the toxic masculinity practically radiating off of him.

"Nope- I just don't particularly want to get into a car crash," Jase responds, and while his tone is casual, he doesn't even bother to look at Cody, his gaze still firmly ahead as he grips the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles go white, and there's a clench in his jaw. This is a sore subject... but Cody will never get that.

"Fine. Suit yourself. Ladies?" Cody asks, swiveling around, a strand of shaggy blonde hair falling in his face. He passes it to me and I shake my head, eyes going wide. "N-no thanks," I say quietly.

"Why the fuck not?" Cody challenges me, pressing the bottle of what I now recognize as tequila so close to me that I can smell it. "It's not like you're driving."

"C'mon, Sienna? Why don't you just take a sip? Trust me, it's not that bad... but I'm sure you already know that. So just take some," Mayah says, her face looking at me like it already knows the outcome of this.

"No- I'm good, really."

"Lay off her, guys," I hear Jase's tone, relaxed, though the look he gives me through the rearview mirror is one of concern. "We all know Little Red here isn't exactly an expert on the partying scene. Besides- it's more for you."

Jase doesn't think I can handle it.

And the worst part is, I think as I watch Cody shrug, passing the bottle to Mayah, who is all too eager to take a swig, Jase is right.

--

When we finally pull up to the club and get out of the car, my heart is pounding so hard I think I might pass out, the music blaring from the inside enough to make me feel dizzy- not to mention the dozens of cars already parked here. Jase told me that it would be the richest of the rich, the more elite high schoolers in this part of Virginia, but I wasn't expecting... this many people. Judging by the number of cars, there must be 60 people. At least.

Music blares as we step inside the club, lights flashing and filling up the darkness that's all around us, reflecting off the sequined dresses, the shine in leather jackets meant to look a lot less expensive than they are. Couples dance under the purple and blue strobe lights, and I see a girl with white hair blowing smoke rings in the corner. And there's so, so much booze everywhere- on the counters people are standing on, the floors, in everyone's hands... and everything is sweaty and oh-so loud. But everyone seems to be carefree, loving it. Euphoric. I wonder why.

As soon as we step into the club, Jase leaves us, taking the arm of Seraphina Ross, who walks over with two glasses of scotch. "Hello there, handsome," she says, handing the amber liquid out. Jase takes it, and as his hand brushes against her long, pointed red fingernails, I have to fight the urge to slap the wall.

"I have to say, this is quite the party, 'Phina. You've really outdone yourself this time."

Seraphina chuckles, tossing her perfect blonde waves over her shoulder. "I mean, one only has so many opportunities to throw a rager in their family friend's club. I wasn't about to wait until summer... I wanted everyone to celebrate my return."

"Well, we should all be celebrating. I missed you," Jase winks, clinking his glass against hers.

Seraphina flutters her lashes in a light smile- before her eyes catch on Mayah and I, still a few paces behind Jase. "Jase, why didn't you introduce me to your friends?"

The way she pronounces Jase is more like Jaaaayse, the vowel drawn out and enunciated, almost whiny. And, while her tone is friendly, there's something in Seraphina's expression that does not look happy to meet us.

"They're not my friends. Sarah here knows my family, and I was-"

"Sienna," I correct him, crossing my arms. I know Jase knows my name, but purposely screwing it up was not part of our plan.

"Yeah. That," Jase says, though his gaze is still directly on Seraphina, rolling his eyes like he can't believe how annoying I am.

"Let's go," I mutter, taking Mayah's arm before we can stand here to humiliate ourselves some more.

I was planning on just finding a dark corner to curl up in and watch everything occur, but it seems that Mayah has other plans as she walks over to a group of girls all dancing together- Chrissa included. So at least there's that. Mayah steps into the circle effortlessly, like it's just something that takes no effort, but I somehow find myself on the outskirts, dancing just outside the group. No one even notices. But this is better than just being completely alone... right?

"Hey gorgeous." The whisper comes from my right, and I whirl around to find a tall, curly-haired guy who is, judging by the slur of his words and his clunky missteps, quite obviously drunk. "You've got quite an ass, there... wanna go get a drink?"

The hairs on the back of my neck immediately prickle- something about this guy, besides his... objectifying and very straightforward comments, is wrong. "No thanks. I'm good here, actually."

He grabs onto my arm, his large hands closing around it before I can twist myself away. "C'mon... have a little fun."

"Leave her alone, Westbrook," I hear Chrissa say, and I turn back to her, my shoulders sagging in relief when I see her. "Stop acting like a douche and maybe girls will actually want to go spend time with you. Now, I'd suggest you let her go before I bring Jase Turner over here. Trust me- you might be able to take us in a fight, but he'd break that pretty little nose of yours. And I'd just laugh."

The guy drops my arm and I immediately step back, trying to stop my racing heart before I throw up, or pass out, or something. "Fine. Your loss. I don't want any trouble... even she's not worth that," he says, giving me a final once-over before turning away, leaving me wholly uncomfortable.

"Are you okay?" Chrissa asks, her voice barely audible over the loud bass and shouts of the party. "He didn't actually do anything, right?"

I shake my head, though my hand can't help but wrap around my opposite forearm. "I'm fine."

"Good, because that would kind of kill the party vibe," Chrissa laughs, taking my hand and leading me over to a group of girls- including her girlfriend Christine. "Hello, bitchesss! I bring you an offering in the form of a gorgeous redhead who does not yet seem drunk enough at all!"

A brunette girl that I remember as Himari hands me a small shot glass with something pink inside. "You'll love it," she says, her lips twisting into a little smirk. "Gets you drunk in an instant."

Judging by the way her words seem to blend together and the slight pink tinge of her mouth, Himari's been having a lot of this pink thing.

"No, I don't really like shots. I'll... uh... I'll find my own drink," I say, quickly moving past her and to the counter, subtly filling a cocktail glass with water and a lime- hopefully that'll stave off the questions for a little while. When I look up from my glass, though, all thoughts of my genius plan leave my head as I see Jase and Seraphina dancing together. She's not grinding on him, exactly, but they're definitely... close, her wrapping her hands around his neck as they dance around wildly before she does a body roll.

But Jase barely seems to be paying attention. His blue eyes, those piercing blue eyes, seem to be totally focused on...

Me.

I try not to look back at him, try not to give him the satisfaction of paying him any more attention, returning to the group just in time to see Chrissa get up on the table, slamming back the pink shot while everyone cheers. "Damn, that burned!" she laughs before taking a clear glass out of another girl's hand. "Should I keep going? Am I doing good, girlsss?" She laughs, taking another shot while all the girls laugh, but in a way that says that they already knew this was coming. Like this is something Chrissa just does at every party. Which would make sense since Chrissa doesn't seem, well... that drunk. Not that I'm the expert on drunk people.

"Girls..." It's Janine Stark who walks up, her icy blonde hair just perfectly complimenting her cold personality. Last time I checked, she was the one who took over Chrissa's head cheerleader position after the recent coming out thing, and according to what Chrissa's accidentally mentioned to me... has been looking to gain power for far longer. The poor thing must have been shocked when Seraphina Ross arrived at the school- someone too powerful to compete with. Now Janine is back to being a minion again... though I still think she has her eye on Jase. "We're all going upstairs. Wanna come with?"

She says 'upstairs' with some significance that I don't understand but that makes all the girls look between each other, finally nodding. Chrissa looks very... unenthusiastic, but seeing Christine's eagerness makes her nod grudgingly. "You coming, Sienna?" she asks, linking her arm in mine.

"I mean..." I'm trying to come up with a good way to say no when I glance across the dance floor to see Jase still staring at me, though Seraphina's no longer with him. He's giving me a worried expression- the same one from the car. The one that says 'poor little Red, can't handle herself with the big kids at the party."

Yeah. Fuck that.

"Of course!" I laugh, following Chrissa across the club floor and upstairs, past a hallway that reeks so strongly of pot that I can't help but cough, until we get to the next floor, with a room containing couches and chairs- and leading to a spacious, mirrored bathroom where I can see Seraphina Ross doing... something. Mayah's up here too, talking to Seraphina and Janine and Himari- and looking a bit starstruck.

"Okay, Chrissa, come over here!" I hear her laugh, pulling something out of her purse, something long and black and thin. Mascara, probably. "You too, Sarah?" she asks me, her voice sweet- though I can sense something else underneath. Something darker. But like the sweet little innocent lamb I am, I walk over, curious to see what they're doing. Retouching their makeup? Powdering their faces.

Oh.

Oh.

Well... at least I got the powder part right. The black thing Seraphina holds out is much different from a mascara wand, it's a straw. For snorting the lines of coke laid out on the counter in front of us.

"C'mon, Sienna, you go first!" Seraphina says, handing me one of the black straws.

"No... no... I don't think that's a good idea. I've never done drugs before," I say, unable to keep the tremble out of my voice. Seraphina just rolls her eyes, stepping closer. "Are you... scared?"

"No," I say, my voice still quavering as I look up into her eyes- she's a lot taller than me, though, so it still feels submissive.

"You'll do it eventually, sweetheart. But okay."

I'm expecting her to press me further, but she just shrugs, handing Janine, Himari, Christine, Chrissa, and Taylor straws and taking one for herself. I don't watch as they snort it, but I watch the hesitant look on Mayah's face, contemplating if she really wants to do this. I shake my head at her, but she just gives me a condescending look, bending down and inhaling it. And by the looks of it, she's inhaling a lot.

My heart is still pounding and racing just being in the room with these girls, and every second longer I spend feels like it's one second closer to me agreeing to do it too, just for fun. But I really don't want to leave, prove to all of them, prove to Mayah, that I can't handle it. Besides, won't Seraphina just find me anyways.

So I take out my phone, some strange piece of me needing to do this, need to text the one person here that feels really and truly safe.

Me: I need help. I'm on the third floor.

Jase: be there in a second

I shove my phone into my purse at the very second that Seraphina looks up again, wiping the coke off her face so it won't be noticeable. She laughs, looking over at me again. "Your turn, hon."

"No, I said no-"

She has a large, euphoric grin on her face as she steps closer to me, though I can feel her heart pounding. I think that's a side effect. "You're going to do it, little Sienna. Because, trust me, you might think that you have that perfectly wide-eyed innocent act going for you, but don't think I can't shatter it in an instant. All I want is for you to be normal, for you to have fun and stop being such a stuck-up priss. Okay."

"I- I am normal," I say, trying not to shake, to show how much this is absolutely freaking me out. Seraphina is... Seraphina. When she makes a threat, she follows through. Maybe I should just do the coke...

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea," Seraphina says, her eyes growing warm and her pupils dilating.

Shit. Did I just say that out loud?

"Sienna Brown? I never thought I'd see the day when you got your perfect little self tarnished in any way," Mayah grins, raising an eyebrow, even though she looks unbalanced and shaky. As big as she talks, I don't think she's ever done this either. "I can't wait to watch." As she talks, I see Seraphina cut another line- at least it's smaller this time.

"It's really not that bad," Chrissa says reassuringly, giving me a shaky thumbs-up that doesn't exactly help her point. "It's just for fun... for parties... like drinking but with less calories."

Seraphina hands me the straw, crossing her arms. "Go on now," she says.

Oh god. I didn't want to do this, I don't want to do this... but there's no way out now, is there? I have to do this now.

So I bend down, taking a deep sigh, and-

"What the hell is going on in here?" I hear Jase's voice say before I can breathe in, and I almost pass out in relief.

A/N: Wowza, that chapter was a lot! How did you guys feel about it- do you think Sienna made the right choice by texting Jase, or should she have handled things on her own? Should she have listened to the girls or refused to give into the peer pressure? LMK your thoughts pleaseee :)

Kinda a short author's notes today but writing all that was exhausting! I'll see you guys on Friday :)

-Selene