Chapter 6

A/N: Trigger warning: Use of homophobic slur (I'm sorry guys I didn't want to go this way with the story, but it just makes sense and will easily give me a way to write angst later). Also, thanks for 1,000 reads already!!!!

Derek's POV

1 week later...

Well, we're starting college in a couple days, we just have to get set up and shit. DeShaun is my roommate, which is pretty cool, but I hope he doesn't bring his girlfriend around and fuck her while I'm in here. That would not be a fruitful sight, or a fruity one, which I prefer.

Adrian has noticed my hostility towards him growing. He glances at me a lot while we're with the rest of the group, and he sees me glaring at him. He gives me a confused look and then turns away. If I didn't know better, I might think that Adrian is into me. It doesn't matter though, I can't imagine he wants to be with me, especially with that hot piece of ass Julian flirting with him constantly.

They would make a cute couple, there's no doubt about it, but something wouldn't be right about it. I don't know what it is, I really don't. Something about the two of them being together makes me feel weird and I can't explain why.

"Derek, do you have everything you need?" DeShaun asks, hauling a massive box of miscellaneous shit into our room.

"Nah. I still need to go back to my house and grab a few more things before I can come over."

I need to get pencils. A lot of pencils. And a lot of notebooks and folders and pens. I might need some more things, but I don't really know. I'll know when I get there.

"Aight. Do you want me to drive you there?" he asks and I shake my head.

"No, I can go myself. Thanks though."

"Cool. I'm gonna take off, I'm gonna go grab some stuff to eat."

"Aight, see you later," I say.

I grab my keys and go outside to my car, which I parked pretty badly. I used to be a decent driver, a year ago I was a decent driver, but somehow I got worse and now I'm definitely fulfilling the role of the terrible gay driver.

I don't really want to go home. I really don't. I don't want to see my mom and just have to think about the shit she would say to me if she knew that I'm gay. She's really such a bitch and I can't hate her though because she kind of raised me alright. I am a great football player, I'm good at what I love doing. I don't know who else to credit my motivation to other than my mother, because she kept me working.

I park in the driveway of my house, unlocking the door and letting myself in. My mom is sitting on the kitchen table, eating a meal by herself.

She looks up at me and smiles. "Derek! I'm glad to see you," she says, standing up and walking towards me, hugging me. I'm not used to this, this behavior is not normal for her.

"Hey, mom," I say dryly. "I'm just here to pick up a couple things."

"Can I talk to you for a bit?"

"Sure," I mask my exasperation well, I don't want her to know how little I want to talk to her.

"You have a couple teammates, I think you knew them in high school, that are homosexuals. Are you friends with these people?" she questions and I contain myself from crashing out right then and there.

"Yeah," I reply bluntly. No lies.

"Why? They're just gonna try to impose their agendas onto you, and I don't want that for you. I want you to be a great football player, and God knows gay people aren't gifted in sports the way you are."

If only she knew the whole truth. Then I would have a reason not to contact her ever again. That would be great. Like a vacation to Hawaii type of shit great.

"Mom, they're not trying to impose their sexuality on me. They're cool, and they're my friends."

"I bet their parents are extremely disappointed in them. The end of their bloodline can't be something they want to be looking forward to," she claims. I once again have to contain myself from screaming at her bitch ass.

"No, as far as I know, their parents are fine with them." That's a half truth. Cam's parents hate his guts so much, but Aaron's mom loves him and Adrian has a good family.

"They should know just how big of failures they are to society. They should be ashamed of themselves, their lifestyles are just terrible," she claims. She is saying a whole lot of bullshit right now, and I'm about to just walk away and grab my shit.

"They're my friends, mom. Matter of fact, they're my best friends, and I don't see them any differently than I did when I thought they were straight." That's another half truth. I didn't really know Aaron before he came out, because he came out the same year I got there, and Adrian I still see mostly the same. The only reason I'm being hostile to him is because he's the only person in the world that knows that I'm gay. I obviously see Cam differently. If things played out differently, it could've totally been me and him.

"I hope you're not turning gay with them, that would be heartbreaking for me, as a mother, to have to watch." Now what the fuck does being a mother have to do with that?

"Okay," I reply, not really knowing how else to answer.

"I hope you can find a girlfriend, Derek, I really do. You've kind of stressed me out with the lack of relationships you've been in in the last few years. You're a handsome young man though, I have no doubt that you will bring me a grandchild soon," she rudely blurts out. You can't really just tell me that, that's messed up, right?

"Uh, yeah," I lie. Unless something changes in my mind, like I start seeing Zendaya more and more in movies, then there will be no grandchildren. The bloodline is basically over unless you count my half sister that I don't know as a second chance.

"Great. Now try to distance yourself from your gay friends, they're just gonna be a bad influence on you, and you don't want that, right?"

"Yeah," I clench my jaw.

"Good. You know I love you, right?" she questions. I think she saw my jaw setting, that's why she felt she had to ask me that.

I clear my throat. "Yeah."

"Good. I don't want you ending up like those faggots."

I don't answer her, I just walk up to my room, gathering the remaining things I need before I leave. I can't believe she just said that. Fucking insane. I don't want those words getting to me, but I know they will. I'll try not to let that get in my head.

I grab all the shit I need, walking down the stairs praying that my mom doesn't see me and try to keep talking to me.

"Bye, Derek," my mom smiles at me. She's a sneaky bitch. She doesn't act like a nightmare in front of most people, but behind closed doors, she's a bitch.

"Bye," I don't even look at her, I just leave the house and get in my car, driving back to the dorms.

I need to get a girlfriend, no matter how much I don't want one. I don't want to make my mom disappointed in me, but I also want to be happy.

I don't feel that Aaron, Cam, or Adrian are imposing their lifestyles onto me or any of the rest of the team. I find Aaron and Cam cute and want a relationship similar to theirs, but that's all they influence me in. Adrian is not super vocal about his sexuality, and I'm fine with that. He's quiet and he's probably getting hate for being gay, but he's doing a good job at hiding his true emotions regarding possible bullying.

I really don't know what to do. I want my mother to be proud of me, but I want to be happy. I don't know what I want more. I've spent most of my life trying to make her happy with me, but now I want a boyfriend, literally the exact opposite of what she wants from me.

When I get back to the dorm building, Adrian is outside sitting by himself, frowning at his phone as he scrolls up and down whatever he's looking at.

He's really cute.

I can't believe it took me staring and glaring at him to realize just how beautiful he is. I don't know if I really want to date him, but he's definitely up there in terms of attractiveness on the team. He's really fucking fine.

I walk by him into the building, not looking at him or even acknowledging his presence, just continuing to walk, my chin held high. I'm not gonna let up on this persona, the talk I have with my mother made me want to keep up with this even more.

"What's up," someone, Darren, of all people, walks by me.

"You go here?" I question. I didn't pay close enough attention to who was coming here with the rest of us. I guess Darren is here, which is cool, because he's a really good player.

"Yeah?" he answers in a way that made me think I should definitely have known that.

"That's cool. How are you doing? I haven't see you all summer, how have you been?"

"Ain't no complaints," he laughs. "Just living life, you know?"

"Ay, I feel that. I'm glad you're on the team, you're really good, I can't believe I didn't realize you were on the team with us too," I reply.

"Yeah. There's someone here that asking to see you, I've never seen him before, but he said he wants to meet you," Darren tells me and I nod.

"Where is he?" I question.

"Over there, just take a right."

"Alright. Thanks Darren, I'll see you around here and at practice," I dap him up before heading in the direction where Darren told me to go.

There's a communal area on the first floor of this building. It's a really nice building by the way, way nicer than I could've ever envisioned a dorm building to be. It's also really huge. The rooms are super spacious, and I don't know if we get nicer rooms for being on the football team, but our room has a bathroom in it and it's really nice. The building is futuristic almost, it's really a pretty building.

"Hey, did you want to see me?" I question, hoping I didn't have any exasperation in my voice. I didn't mean any exasperation, I'm actually genuinely curious what this person wants.

"Hi, Derek, I'm Damian, I'm your stepbrother. Your biological dad told me he saw you on the news, saw that you're going here, and he just wanted me to meet you."

"Oh. It's nice to meet you Damian, how old are you?" I ask.

"I'm 19, I'm a year older than you, I've been here for a year already."

"That's cool. So, what did he want me to talk to you about?" I question, confused about why my dad basically sent him to find me.

"I don't know, just normal shit. I have a sister and that's great and everything, but I want someone to talk to about sports and shit like that, you know? I know you like sports because you play football."

"Yeah. I love football, it's literally my life," I state.

"I feel that way about hockey."

"Nice. I think it's kind of weird to think about people that don't have sports in their life, to play or even just to spend time watching it. Watching sports is a huge part of my life, and I don't know what other people do for fun without sports in their lives."

"Same. I can't imagine my life without sports, it would just seem kind of empty," he says and I agree. I can't imagine my life without football. I would probably have had to spend more time with my mom in high school, but football was an excuse to get home late and then have homework to do instead of hanging out with her after I finish homework in the afternoon.

"So, how is my dad doing? I haven't really talked to him that much, but is he doing well?" I ask and he nods.

"Yeah. He's like, super in love with my mom. It's really nice to see my mom have someone there for her. I barely remember when your dad wasn't with my mom, but I think it was not a great time for her."

"That's good to hear. I wouldn't wish anyone, not even my worst enemy, the punishment of being with my mom," I state.

"Why?"

"Because she's human garbage. She's racist, homophobic, all of that shit that I really can't stand. A lot of my best friends are into dudes, I can't really imagine my life without them being by my side. I don't think of them differently because they're gay either, if anything, I appreciate that they felt comfortable around me to tell me such a deep secret."

"That's pretty cool. Anyways, you were kinda right about your dad sending me out to find you. He wants to see you again, if you have time of course," he tells me. I want to see my dad again. It's been a little while since I actually saw him in person, and I wanna know how he's actually doing.

"Sure. Let me just bring all my stuff up to my room," I say and he nods.

"Alright. I'll just wait down here."

"Great."

I go back upstairs, walking into my room.

"What took you so long to get back?" DeShaun asks me.

"I had to talk to my mom. She said her usual stupid homophobic rhetoric. I don't agree with anything she says regarding Cam, Aaron, and Adrian. They're our friends and that's not gonna change," I say, a bit angrily. I am still frustrated at her ignorance.

"Damn. I'm glad I never really met your mom, she sounds like a total nightmare."

"Yeah. She's super racist, she would be a complete bitch to you."

"I can't believe people like her still exist," he says, shaking his head. "People need to grow up and realize that saying shit like that is not okay."

"I agree 100%. It's just insensitive. Let people live their lives, you don't need to fucking butt in and criticize the way other people live," I state.

"Exactly! I can't imagine the kind of hate that Cam, Aaron, and Adrian might be getting on the daily for just being different. They can't say rude shit to anyone for no reason, other than literally being different."

"Yeah, it's ridiculous."

"Yeah. I know this isn't the best way to think about it, but straight guys should be happy that gay people exist, because without them, all the girls would be taken. Straight girls might just be upset that so many gay guys are attractive and don't want them," DeShaun suggests as a possibility for the hate.

"I think that could be a reason, but to be honest, there really isn't a reason to hate on a person for being gay, bi, trans, a different race, any of that shit. People might make the excuse that they were raised like that, but they literally can just change the way they think. At least they should just not be insensitive and complete assholes for no reason."

"Yeah. Religion shouldn't be an excuse, God loves everyone," DeShaun states.

"Yeah. Anyways, I am going to see my dad in person for the first time in a hell of a long time, so I'll see you later," I tell him.

"Alright, I'll see you later."

I leave the room, returning back downstairs to Damian. I've never seen him before, and I definitely had no fucking idea he was coming to UCLA already. I honestly thought he was younger than me, but I guess not. I guess this is also gonna be the first time I meet my stepmother and my half sister.

"Alright, let's go," I say and he gets up and we walk to the parking lot.

He plays hockey and looks like he should be playing hockey. He's a little shorter than my height, but still super bulky. He's maybe a little bulkier than me even, and that's saying a lot (not to brag).

"So, your sister is my half sister?" I ask, trying to break the silence as we get into his car.

"Yeah. She's kind of bitchy, so don't make fun of her. She is super particular about her music taste and will attack you if you make fun of it."

"What does she listen to?" I ask.

I have an idea of what a girl her age might listen to, and the key words are Taylor and Swift, who I dislike very much. Not only because of her music, but her fanbase is also fucking batshit crazy. Her music is average at best, and average is a generous rating to give her. I could look past that and just ignore her music all together and just put her in the same category as other average to below average pop artists like Ed Sheeran, Miley Cyrus, Harry Styles, etc., but her fanbase hypes her up so much and shoves her music down your throat and will tell you to kill yourself if you don't think her music is the best music of all time. Again, her music is fine, I really have nothing horrible to say about it, it's just the amount of hype she gets. She gets the amount of love that Dua Lipa should be getting.

I'm a big rap fan, but I would never glaze any of them the way people glaze the shit out of Taylor Swift. The way people defend and glaze the shit out of Playboi Carti and Kanye West is kind of crazy. Sure, they're great artists, but Playboi Carti beat his wife and I see fans of his blatantly ignoring this fact. Kanye is one of the greatest artists ever, but I feel like his fandom has grown somehow the minute he started exposing himself as a Hitler defender. That's saying a lot about his fanbase. You can enjoy his music, but separating the art from the artist is essential. Kanye fans seem to not do that a lot of the time and like him more now.

"She likes Taylor Swift and Eminem, which is a pretty bipolar music taste in my opinion," he chuckles.

Now we get to the other artist I dislike: Eminem. This is super controversial, and his superfans aren't as crazy as Carti, Kanye, or Taylor Swift fans, but they're subtly super crazy. His music is just fine, but somehow people created the idea that his music is so perfect. He hasn't made an album that I won't skip most of. That's just my opinion, so don't go after me. His music is just fine but I feel like he's held on such a high pedestal because of his so called lyrical genius and his ability to rap fast.

He lost a beef to Mariah Carey of all people because she made him look lame as fuck and did the right thing by not responding to him. He looked stupid and still looks stupid for keeping the beef up. Overall, Eminem is just alright, but I would say he's not a top 10 rapper of all time.

"Yeah, that sounds kind of bad," I reply.

"You have no idea what it was like to live with her and have to listen to her blasting that music all the time."

"At least it's not country music," I say. Silver lining.

"Yeah, I guess that's a good thing. Taylor Swift is one 'y'all' away from being a country artist though, she's walking a tightrope."

"Yeah."

"What kind of music do you like?" he asks and I smile. I love talking about music.

"Well, I used to like Eminem. And all those old school artists. I still listen to Biggie and Tupac, but the rest of them have fallen out of my usual rotation. I listen to RnB and trap, like SZA, Don Toliver, Travis Scott, Gunna, Young Thug, all of them," I answer.

"I like Travis Scott a lot. I like old school rap, but it's starting to get old I'll be honest. I'm listening to more and more music like the music you listen to, and I think I'm transitioning to that."

"That's not a bad thing, in my opinion, having both in my playlist is much better. It makes me feel like I'm listening to a weird hip hop and RnB radio station, but it's just songs I hand selected. I usually don't skip any songs on my playlist either, and it's well over 1,000 songs."

"Wow. My playlist is only 300 songs," he states.

"I'll admit, I did just add a bunch of songs randomly because of the names, but it's still a good playlist in my opinion."

"Yeah. Could you share that with me?" he asks and I nod.

"Yeah, no problem. When we get to your house I'll send it to you, I just need your number."

"Great."

Well, Damian seems pretty cool. I never had any siblings, and that was something that kind of made me sad. I was always such a happy person in school, but not being able to antagonize a younger or older version of myself made me a little bit sad.

"Alright, we're here," Damian parks and gets out of the car, me mirroring him.

I take a deep breath as he opens the door.

A/N: I was planning on having him meeting his father again in this chapter, but I want to keep chapters early on short until chapter 30, like in the last book. I have added quite a few new characters. I trust you remember the main characters, the ones that were in the original book (Derek, Adrian, Cam, Aaron, Devin, DeShaun, Jax, Kai). The only characters you really have to remember are Julian (the baseball player that Adrian has a crush on) and Damian (Derek's stepbrother). Those are the only ones you have to remember, the other baseball players they met in San Diego don't really matter that much. Thanks for reading!!!