Chapter 3

Trigger warning: homophobic slur

Derek's POV

"Derek, can you help me in the bathroom for a sec, I need someone to help," someone asks through my door.

I look at my phone on the bedside table and see it's 4:00 AM.

"Okay," I groan, getting pants on before leaving my room. I did not put a shirt on, but that's probably alright. It's not like they haven't seen me without a shirt.

"Aight, so I need your help with Kai," Jax tells me.

"What did he do this time?" I ask.

"I think he got food poisoning."

"Jesus Christ."

"Yeah. He's puking his guts out into the toilet, and I don't wanna go in there to be honest. It's so fucking nasty in there, I can't believe how much he's just nonstop puking," he states.

"And why do you need me to help?"

"Because everyone else isn't answering. You're the only one that's definitely awake." So basically, I shouldn't have answered.

"So you need me to get towels or something?" I ask.

"Yeah. Get towels, but I would also be so happy with you if you went out and got Gatorade or some kind of sports drink for him, that usually helps with food poisoning."

"Aight sure. We told him not to eat Sbarro, but he just didn't listen."

"Yeah. I knew this shit wouldn't end well," Jax says, walking back to stand right outside the bathroom and try to calm Kai down. I can damn near hear Kai puking into the toilet.

"Alright, I'll go to the store," I say, getting a whiff of the puke.

"I can go if you don't want to," Jax says and I shake my head at him.

"Nah, I'm good, I don't want to have to smell that shit."

"Kai!! Flush the toilet!" Jax yells towards the bathroom.

"Okay!" Kai answers.

"Aight, I'll see you soon."

I go back into my room to put a shirt on before I grab the keys to the sprinter and get in, pulling out my phone and locating the nearest 7/11. I'll probably grab some other shit while I'm there, like gummy bears and protein powder. I need more protein powder for sure, that's the first thing I'll look for.

I drive to the 7/11, grabbing some Gatorade, some Pepto Bismol, a fucking massive pack of gummy bears, and instead of protein powder just decide to get some Quest. It's good enough and I like chocolate milk. Only the not super sweet chocolate milk, the other kinds of chocolate milk are the sweetest shit ever and they make me nauseous.

"That'll be $30," the cashier tells me.

I pull all of the money in my pocket out and hand it to the cashier. I don't know how much that was. It might be only $20, it might be $50. I really don't know. I am terrible at keeping track of my money.

"Thank you for coming in," he says, handing me the change and the bag of shit I just bought.

I get back in the sprinter and return back to the house, where Jax is pacing back and forth in the hallway, biting his nails.

"I'm back," I say.

"Thank God, I'm actually kind of worried about Kai," Jax says, taking the Pepto Bismol and Gatorade from me. "Can you share those gummy bears?"

"I bought these for myself, but maybe."

Me and Jax go back upstairs and the gut wrenching stench of the bathroom returns. It smells like what I imagine Jabba the Hutt's insides would smell like. Just utter shit. I feel bad for him too, his usually beautiful skin is pale as fuck and he looks like he's about to die.

"Kai, you've gotta flush the toilet, it smells horrible in here," Jax says concerned. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," Kai looks up tiredly. "Don't worry."

"Don't tell me not to worry, this is fucking scary to have to watch," Jax says, extending his arm as far as possible to hand the Gatorade and Pepto Bismol to Kai. "Drink this, okay?"

Kai nods at Jax and takes a large drink of the Gatorade. He pulls the bottle from his mouth and continues to breath heavily in the direction of the toilet.

"I'm about to puke, I think you guys should look away," Kai says. I turn around and Jax does as well.

"Holy crap, I really hope he's okay," I say, kind of scared about him as well.

"Yeah, same. He's gonna have to eat actually good food. It's relatively obvious what gave him this food poisoning. He's the only one with food poisoning and he's the only one that ate Sbarro, it's obvious that he ate bad pizza."

"Yeah."

"You can go back to doing whatever you were doing before, I think I can handle him from now on," Jax says.

"No, it's fine. I want him to be alright as well."

"Okay. Thanks bro," Jax smiles at me.

"No problem."

Me and Jax sit down next to the bathroom, but not in a way that is looking into the bathroom, which I'm glad about, I don't want to have to keep watching Kai puke. Even attractive people look bad when they're puking.

For the next four hours, we just kind of talk a bit, about literally anything, but mostly music. He has a good music taste, I know that, but it's still different from mine. I like trap, he likes total fucking hype music that you go fucking ballistic over. Every now and then, Jax would look into the bathroom and check on his best friend.

For some reason, for a lot of this time where me and Jax have been taking care of Kai, Jax and Kai look like a couple, or at least sound like one. The way Jax is concerned about Kai is really fucking cute somehow, and he is seriously worried about him. I am too, but the way Jax is actually full on stressing over this is kind of making them look like their together.

"Kai, you okay in there?" Jax asks.

Kai answers with a hum, probably a yes. He has still been puking, but it's slowing down.

"Are you drinking the Gatorade and the Pepto Bismol?" Jax asks.

"Yeah."

"Good."

See, they kind of talk to each other like a couple.

I feel a buzz in my pocket, from my phone. It's around 9:00 AM right now, and I've already been awake for 5 hours. This is absolutely not what I wanted right before we all have to go to college, but here I am sitting on the floor of a beach mansion listening to my teammate puke while his best friend acts like a dream boyfriend to him.

Adrian:

I'm leaving for San Diego rn

I'll be there in a couple hours

Okay, I have to prepare my straight persona. I have to be a complete dick, there's no other option here. I have to be a complete asshole, whether I want to or not. Trust me, I really don't want to have to be mean to Adrian. I honestly forgot the point of acting mean to him, but if it intimidates him out of outing me, that's all I want.

Devin:

Aight, see you soon!!

Devin's always texted like a gay person. He adds exclamation marks at the end of sentences, and he texts completely different from how he talks. Maybe all that texting with Alicia has changed his style of texting to be more zesty.

"Good morning," DeShaun is the first person in the house other than me, Jax, and Kai to emerge from his room.

"Morning," I mutter to him.

"What the hell is that smell?" DeShaun asks, pinching his nose.

"It's Kai. He has food poisoning and he's been throwing up all morning," Jax replies.

"Is he gonna be okay?" DeShaun asks.

"I really hope so. I don't want him to puke his organs and shit out."

"Can I grab one of those gummy bears?" DeShaun asks.

"No. They're only for me and Jax because we're the ones helping Kai," I answer, holding my gummy bears closer to me.

"Whatever. I'll just go get my own."

"Good."

Soon, everyone emerges, and we get the exact same set of questions from literally every single person in the house, including Cam and Aaron, who definitely fucked last night. I didn't hear that much, but there was creaking of a bed, they were undoubtedly getting down.

"Kai, you good in there?" Jax calls out to his best friend, turning his head towards the bathroom.

"Yeah. I feel a little better. I might have to stay here for a little longer, but I'll be fine."

"Good. Take care of yourself, I'll make you lunch later, okay?" Jax says.

"Thanks," Kai answers.

"I'm glad he's doing better," I state. I really am. Kai being sick is not fun. One of the most funny people in my life not being alright is not good. Jax seems super stressed still. I kind of feel like they might be single together forever but eventually realize that all they want is each other in their lives. I'm just manifesting bullshit at this point, that would never happen. They both play football. Actually, that doesn't mean that much anymore. There are at least 4 gay or bisexual football players in this main friend core. Anyone could be gay.

"Yeah. I was so worried about him. I saw him like this in 6th grade, he had to go to the hospital and I went with him because I was obviously his best friend. He was puking pretty much nonstop for the entire day before we decided to go to the hospital. That's when I started looking up shit about how to solve food poisoning and shit. That's why I knew Gatorade would work. You just have to replace everything in your body," Jax says.

"What did he eat that time?" I ask Jax.

"He found a pack of uncooked tuna in the fridge. I don't know why it was in his fridge, but he decided to eat the entire thing. He got food poisoning obviously, and was puking for the entire next day. I stuck by him the whole time because I wanted him to be okay."

"You're a really good friend, Jax," I tell him.

He smiles at me. "Thanks, bro. No homo obviously, but I really love Kai. He's been my best friend forever basically, and whenever I see him sick I just feel sick myself. I really don't know what I would do in my life without him."

"I get that. I feel the same about DeShaun and Aaron, they embraced me when I first moved here, and it was just so easy to talk to them. I love the two of them so much as well."

"Thanks for helping with Kai, I kind of freaked out when Kai woke me up at fucking 3:30 AM and told me he needed to puke. Thank God he didn't vomit in the bed, that would've been horrible," he says, shuddering at the thought.

"You handled it well," I say. "I don't think you freaked out."

"Thanks."

Me and Jax continue to just sit there and wait for Kai to leave the bathroom. This is by far the most serious I've heard Jax talk to me or anyone. It was really sweet to hear him talking about his best friend like that. I feel like I already knew that they loved each other, but hearing it made it more impactful. They care about each other so much, they aren't just goofing off all the time.

"Derek, no one will do the dishes right now, can you do it?" DeShaun asks me, walking up the stairs.

"I'm busy right now, do it yourself," I order.

"But I'm tired," DeShaun whines.

"I've been up since 4:00 AM, don't talk to me about being tired. Get someone else to do it if you're really that exhausted bro."

"Fine," DeShaun huffs, walking back downstairs. That was a pointless conversation.

"Thank God we have this as an excuse not to do anything else for the rest of the day," Jax says quietly to me. "I was gonna do the dishes to be honest."

"Damn, well now we just made someone else do it. It's alright, it's not gonna hurt us that much."

Kai finally emerges from the bathroom, looking not as sick as before. He has his usual pretty smile and his face is actually kind of glowing.

"I'm alright now, thanks guys," he says. Me and Jax stand up and look at him.

"Take a shower bro, you still smell terrible," Jax says.

"Yes. I will take a shower."

"Thank you," Jax says to his best friend, who walks back into the bathroom.

"I'm glad that's all over," I say.

"Same. Thanks for the help."

"No problem."

I go downstairs and sit down on the couch by myself, turning on ESPN and seeing what is on in the morning on a random Tuesday in the summer. Nothing, unsurprisingly. All the good sports are over by the time the summer starts, but football will be starting again soon, so that's good. I'm excited to start playing again, but I might be a bit rusty. Adrian will probably have the most refined game out of anyone on the team after his whole summer conditioning thing.

DeShaun finishes up with the dishes and plops down on the couch next to me.

"So, Kai is aight?" he asks.

"Yeah, he'll be fine. Just food poisoning."

"We told him not to eat Sbarro, he ignored us."

"Yeah."

The two of us hear a knock on the door, and I already know who it is. Adrian has come, despite him probably not really wanting to, as well as me not really wanting him here. I don't have anything against him personally, but he's the only one that knows my darkest secret. I can't risk having anyone else know that.

"You should go get that," I tell DeShaun.

"Okay."

He begins to get up before he plops right back down on the couch, folding his arms at me and shaking his head.

"I did the dishes, the least you can do is get the fucking door," he states and I roll my eyes at him before getting up and going to the door.

I take a deep breath and unlock the door, opening it for Adrian, who is staring at his phone in his hands. He has a pretty fucking perfect tan from standing outside all summer, he kind of looks good not gonna lie. His arms look really good in his shirt, he clearly put on some muscle.

He looks up at me. "Oh. Hey, Derek."

"Hey."

He walks in and DeShaun gets up from the couch and daps up Adrian.

"How was the football camp?" DeShaun asks.

"It was useful I guess, but the people there were total fucking dicks," Adrian answers.

"What'd they do?" DeShaun asks.

"I don't really wanna talk about it right now, maybe later, but right now I just don't want to think about their bullshit."

"I understand."

"Cool."

Adrian's POV

"What's up?" Cam asks me, walking down the stairs, his boyfriend right behind him.

"Well, the football camp was pretty fun. I gained a lot from it."

"Clearly. You look good," he says, sitting down on the couch.

"Thanks."

Kai comes down from the stairs, looking freshly showered and looking like a snack as usual. He has no shirt on too, so that's fucking making it hard to be a man at the moment.

"Adrian, what's up?" he asks, dapping me up.

"Nothing much," I answer.

"Here, I'll show you to your room," Kai says very butlerly. That's not a word, I know. I just need to cope with my mental state, so I just say shit in my head.

"Okay," I answer bluntly.

Me and Kai go upstairs and he opens the door to my room, letting me inside. It has a beautiful view of the ocean, and now I wish I came here earlier.

"Here, this is your room," he says.

"Thanks, Kai," I say, putting my luggage on the ground.

"No problem."

Kai leaves my room and I close the door, jumping onto the bed and lying flat on my stomach, pulling my phone out of my pocket. I look at the Instagram app, which I have notifications silenced for. I get too many notifications from there. I don't even post, the only time I posted was when I signed with UCLA, but I get a lot of DMs and shit like that.

I go into the app and see some random guys asking me out. It's become typical. I usually just check out their profiles and see that they either don't live anywhere near me, or they're way older than me.

I continue to scroll until I see the username 'joshgetsgirls203.' If this is who I think it is, that's already a pretty obvious lie. Josh does not, in fact, get any girls as far as I'm concerned. His lil scrawny ass can't get nobody.

I tap on the DM, and I see something I did not want to see.

A video of me having an anxiety attack in the middle of the field while Josh and his mentally ill friends laugh at me. Those were hell to start the whole camp. I couldn't breathe, I actually couldn't do anything for a solid 2 minutes.

I scroll down and see Josh's message:

You should kill yourself faggot

I feel the room shrink around me as I feel my anxiety beginning to become a serious problem. My breathing becomes more and more desperate as I begin to cry silently, no sounds being able to come out of my mouth.

"Adrian, I didn't see you earlier, I just wanted to sa-" Devin walks into my room but sees me scrunched up on the bed, my eyes wide as hell as I stare into the distance clutching my knees. "Holy shit, Adrian, are you okay?" he asks me.

I shake my head at him and he sits down on the bed next to me.

"Adrian, breathe bro. Breathe in, breathe out. You're safe here, okay? It's just me, okay?" he says, wrapping an arm around me.

I immediately feel much more safe with him in the room with me. I hate the feeling of anxiety attacks, I just feel completely trapped.

"Keep breathing, okay? I'm right here with you, okay? Don't worry," Devin says, calming me down.

I finally regain my composure and let my knees fall to the ground. I breathe in and out in a normal human pace instead of not breathing at all.

"Thanks, Devin. Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing, are you okay?" he asks and I shake my head.

"No, not really," I begin to cry even more.

"Tell me what happened."

"I don't want to."

"Just tell me, I'm not gonna judge you, okay? I'm your best friend," he says, looking into my eyes sincerely.

"Okay. Okay. The football camp was hell for me. I was by far the best player there, but everyone was so homophobic. They called me so many slurs. I think they made some up, and they were so fucking horrible to me. I tried to ignore it, but I just got so many anxiety attacks like the one I just had except no one was there to calm me down and I just had to suffer through it alone," I ramble.

"Oh, Adrian. I'm so fucking sorry, man," he says, pulling me in for a hug. This is what I love about Devin. He's a really good guy and he loves everyone.

"Thanks, Devin. Thank you so much."

"Why'd you have an anxiety attack here?" he asks.

"I don't know," I lie. I don't want him or anyone else to be worrying about me. I can deal with this shit myself, I don't need other people in it.

"Okay. Please tell me if anything is wrong, okay? I'm here if you need someone to talk to, okay? You know I won't judge you. I have heard Aaron and Cam go at it from through a wall before, I've heard much worse than anything you can tell me."

"Okay. I'll tell you if anything is wrong. Thank you, Devin," I say, looking down at my lap.

He brings me into another hug. "I hate that people think they can just hate you before they get to know you. You're amazing, Adrian. Don't let that stuff get to your head, okay? You are loved by every single person in this house, but our opinions on you don't matter nearly as much as your own opinion about yourself," he states.

I nod at him. "Thank you so much Devin."

"No problem. Let me know if anything is bothering you, okay? If I need to, I'll fight some bitches for you. College might be different than high school in terms of tolerance for you as well as Cam and Aaron, but all of us have your backs. Not just us, everyone else coming to UCLA with us, we're all gonna stand up for the three of you."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"Don't even mention it," he says, walking out of my room.

I take one last deep breath and flop back onto the bed, now lying on my back looking at the ceiling. I go back to Instagram and block Josh. His bitch ass is gonna have to cope. He's probably heartbroken that he can't tell me to kill myself anymore. I did think about that for like a week after I got to the camp, but I stopped pretty quickly realizing that I have a lot to live for.

I'm going to a fucking D1 school for God's sake, I'm a really good football player. None of them have anything on me. They're all coping with the fact that a gay person is better at football than them.

I should probably check UCLA's football schedule. I know it came out a couple weeks ago, but I was too busy to check it. Now seems like a good time to check it. I know we'll be playing UCLA's usual conference rivals, but I don't know what teams we're playing outside of the conference.

I pull up the schedule on my phone, scrolling through the season until my eyes catch something that I'm not looking forward to.

We're playing Josh and Florida State in week 8.

We'll probably win, and I highly doubt Josh is gonna be starting anyways, so it doesn't matter that much.

I can't let him and his stupid bullshit affect my mental health. I gotta ignore him and his complete lack of a brain.

A/N: I didn't really know how to end this chapter, but I hope that you're enjoying this so far. One more chapter in this quadruple update, and then it will go back to a normal updating schedule. I know this chapter also stirred the pot big time regarding Kai and Jax, but yeah,  I still don't know what to do with them. I'm just including lil things like this so whatever I decide to do with them works. Thank you for reading, I know that slow burn might not be as fun as constant smut, but I can't really do a fuckbuddies concept in two books in a row.