Chapter 4

Adrian's POV

Well, today we're going surfing which might be fun. I don't really know what to expect. Apparently no one else knows what to expect. They don't really surf, other than Kai who says he's good at surfing. He's pretty much everything. He's lightskin, tall, and he can surf. He's got every girl wrapped around his finger I bet.

I'm still so fucking sore and tired from the football camp and being lowkey depressed, but I can get through it. It's better that I'm here now, with my favorite people in the world. I'm lucky I have such supportive friends because I don't know what I would do without them.

"Good morning," DeShaun says as I take a seat at the table.

"Good morning. Where's everybody else?" I ask.

"I don't know. I got up early this morning because I wanted to watch tape, so I think they're probably all still sleeping."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

I get up from the table, walking over to the balcony and looking out into the distance at the beautiful waves, the sun reflecting off of some of them. It's so peaceful here. I feel so much safer here than in San Jose. All of those assholes have literally no skill at football, I'm baffled by the fact that they went D1 and had the audacity to bully me, the best player there. I am not looking forward to playing multiple of them throughout the season.

I still haven't really talked to Derek. I would love to keep it that way. I feel bad for wanting that, but at the same time, I don't want things to be awkward. Walking in on him was something I would 100% prefer to wipe from my memory. At the most, I'm at least gonna tell him that I'm not gonna out him for being gay. I'm not like that.

I walk to the couch, taking a seat and turning the TV on, slumping into the soft cushions. I hope that my soreness can go away by the time we have to go back. I get to ride alone because I drove here separately, so no 2 hour drive with Derek is good.

"What's up," Devin says, sitting down next to me, dapping me up.

"Not much, how about you?"

"Pretty much the same. You've been okay since last night?" he asks and I nod.

"Yeah. Thanks for being there, I really hate getting those," I tell him.

"I hated having to see that bro. Tell me if anything's going on, alright? We'll all rough them up if you want," he says.

"Oh. Don't bother. I can handle all of them myself pretty easily actually. They got into my head, they were assholes to me, but they should've known that I can pretty easily beat the living shit out of them. I got them all on the floor without doing that much."

"Damn. That's pretty impressive," Devin states, turning his attention to the TV. "What are you watching?"

"I don't know. It's on ads still, I just turned the TV on, I have no idea what's actually playing."

Me and Devin wait through the ads and the thing playing is a drama show. It's full of women yelling at each other. It's kind of entertaining, but I don't know who was watching this shit before me and Devin came down because it's also a drama channel.

"Who the hell was watching Real Housewives of New Jersey?" I ask Devin and he shrugs.

"I don't know. I have a feeling it was Kai. This kind of show kind of seems like his kind of speed if you know what I mean."

"Yeah. I agree."

Kai walks down the stairs shortly after and sees we're watching that show.

"Yo, you guys watch Real Housewives too?" he asks.

"No, it was just on. Do you watch it?" I ask him.

"No. Of course not," he blatantly lies. It's pretty obvious he watches it.

"Be so for real right now Kai, you definitely watch it," Devin says. "I know you're lying lil bro."

"Fine. I do watch it. I love drama. I love when people throw wine at each other. It's funny and I love cheering for them in fights," Kai says.

"Wow," I reply.

"Shut up. Anyways, you guys excited to go surfing?" Kai questions.

"I guess. It can't be too bad, right?" Devin says.

"I don't know. It's been years since I've been shit at surfing like you, so I wouldn't remember what it's like."

"Shut your bitch ass up dawg, who knows, maybe we are good at surfing?" I claim, knowing damn well I am probably gonna be an awful surfer.

"You two are definitely not good at surfing. Devin, I know you have bad balance and Adrian, I kind of can just tell you're not a good surfer. Something about your personality is not like a surfer's personality. That's not a bad thing though, you're just not like a surfer. You're not the type of guy that says 'surfs out, dude' to someone else," Kai says.

"Yeah. How do you know Devin doesn't have good balance?" I ask.

"Don't tell him bro. That was humiliating," Devin says, probably replaying that moment in his head.

"You're not getting out of this Devin. Alright, so when you were at the football camp, me, Devin, Jax, and DeShaun went to a yoga studio, kind of as a joke, and we were doing poses, right? Anyways, we had to do that one position where you have one leg up and you have to balance on the other, and Devin fell over while doing it and hit a water cooler on the way down, and the water spilled everywhere. He also slipped again when he was trying to get up. It was hilarious and that's why I know he'll he bad at surfing," Kai says.

"Maybe I have bad balance because I'm too buff," Devin claims. He is ripped, I can't even deny that. He probably works out twice a day.

"No, that's definitely not it bro. I have surfer friends that are built like you and they're really good," Kai states.

"I bet they're all losers," Devin states.

"No. They're pretty cool. Cooler than you, that's for sure," Kai claims and Devin shakes his head.

"That cannot be true, Kai, and you know it. You wish you were as cool as me."

"Why the fuck are you talking about who's cool, we're in college," I tell them and they shrug.

"I like to instigate," Kai says.

"I have a hard time avoiding instigation," Devin says.

I roll my eyes at them. "Anyways, when are we going surfing because I have to FaceTime my parents later today," I tell them. I've been FaceTiming them most of the summer. They're sad they can't see me. I keep explaining to them that UCLA is really close to where they live, so I can just visit them whenever, but they're still sad. I think it's weird for them that they have a college student son. I'm their first and only child, so all of this is still a first and most likely only experience of raising a child. I think they did a great job, I mean look how I turned out. I'm great.

"In an hour or so, it depends on when everyone gets up," Kai answers.

"Aight cool."

Me, Kai, and Devin stay watching TV, and soon enough everyone else is up and ready to start going surfing. Other than Kai, all of us are kind of scared. Aaron told me his legs are Jell-O, which brings up an image in my mind that I don't really want to think about. Not because they're unattractive, but because I just don't need that mental image in my brain.

"Alright everyone. You ready?" Kai asks.

"I guess so," Devin answers. "Where are the surfboards?"

"There's a shed under the balcony with surfboards so whenever we rent this house, the boards are right there. There's enough for all of us. By the way, my surfer friends are here too, so be cool and please don't embarrass me in front of them. They look up to me because I play football, I don't want that to change," Kai rambles.

"We're the least of your worries if you're really that scared about being embarrassed. Get your own shit in order before you start telling us that we're gonna embarrass you. You're gonna embarrass yourself," DeShaun states.

"Shut up."

"Sorry, jeez."

"Whatever. Let's go," Kai says, leading us out the door and towards the shed. I think I knew about the shed, I never really went into it the last time we were here. I hope Aaron and Cam haven't fucked in here during this trip because it doesn't look like the best place to do something like that. They have their own room, no one's stopping them from doing it in there.

We enter the shed and it's all humid and warm in it. It feels like Florida inside the fucking shed and I hate it.

"Alright, I'll hand you your surfboard, and you will not complain what color you get, alright?" Kai says.

Kai hands Devin a pink surfboard and Devin is probably doing everything in his power not to complain about it. He is unsuccessful with that effort.

"Man, the only reason I would be caught lacking with pink around me is if Ali told me that we're doing matching outfits and the color would have to be pink. I don't think that's the case here, so could you please give me a different color?" Devin asks.

"No. You get what you get. There's other pink ones in here, you can have those ones instead," Kai says.

"Fine. I'll stick with this one."

Kai hands another pink board to DeShaun, who's fine with it. Both DeShaun and Devin have amazing style, but DeShaun utilizes all the colors. He takes advantage of the color pink in his outfits while Devin sticks to conventional shit.

Kai hands a pink board to Aaron and Cam as well.

"Why are you giving all of us pink boards?" Cam asks Kai.

"Stop flexing the fact that you're all in a relationship. The rest of us are all sick of it. We're happy for you and all, but constantly bringing up the fact that you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend is getting annoying," Kai states. I don't know why he's in such a bad mood right now, we're literally on vacation right now.

"I literally barely bring Aaliyah up, I know it's not the best thing to talk about it in front of my single friends," DeShaun states. "But I'm not complaining about this board, it looks pretty good."

"You're right DeShaun, I only gave you one because I knew you would like it. You're not the problem," Kai says.

"Kai, you can get any girl you want bro, nothing is stopping you," Cam says.

"Yeah. Ask any girl out and they're yours," Aaron backs his boyfriend up.

"I guess. But I don't like that many people, there's only a couple people that I actually like," Kai points out, pondering his options.

"Well, what's stopping you from asking them out? They'll probably say yes," Aaron says and Cam nods next to him.

"You're literally lightskin, everyone likes you," Cam tells Kai.

"Yeah. I guess I am lightskin. You guys are sticking with those boards though, I'm not switching them out," Kai stays petty.

"Whatever," Cam, Aaron, and Devin say at the same time. Taken people have the same brain.

The rest of us get our surfboards and make our way to the beach. Our shirts are long gone by this point by the way, so all of us are just shirtless. Derek being one of them. It is going to be difficult to hide my crush on him. I've seen him shirtless so many times, but here, on the beach, he looks even better than he usually does, which is saying a lot.

A few guys walk up to Kai, who is at the front of our group, and they dap him up.

"What's up Kai," one of them asks. He's tall, blonde, and literally looks like a stereotypical surfer dude. Not my type.

"What's up Harrison," Kai says back.

"Not much. We've been waiting for y'all to be ready to start surfing, you haven't come out here yet," Harrison states.

"Yeah, sorry. We were waiting for Adrian to come. By the way, these are all my friends, we all play football and we're all going to UCLA for college next year," Kai points at the rest of us.

"Nice to meet all of you. You guys ready to surf?" Harrison asks.

He gets no answer as all of us don't really know how to answer. Are we excited? I don't know. I'll probably fall because I lose my focus because of Derek. His chest is fucking beautiful and he clearly got more tan since the last time I saw him. I got way more tan since the last time any of them saw me. Standing in the sun for hours in a day really changes your skin. At least I can tan. I'm glad I don't just sunburn. That shit looks painful.

"Yeah!!!" DeShaun yells with half assed enthusiasm.

Harrison clearly doesn't see that uninterested tone. "Alright, let's do this dudes!!" he says. I don't know what happened in his childhood that makes him and other surfers talk like that. I shouldn't be that surprised, calling people 'dude' and 'bro' isn't that weird in California but it's the way he says it that's so different.

"Yo, Harrison, where's Jule?" Kai asks Harrison.

"He's inside. He said he'll be out in a few minutes, he's just tired. He only came back yesterday because he was in San Francisco for like, a week, and he just came back so he's tired," Harrison answers.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Who's Jule?" Derek asks.

"You don't know him. He goes to UCLA right now, he's a year older than us. His name is Julian. He plays baseball despite not having bleached hair. Crazy, right?" Kai says. I think this 'Jule' might be the guy I might at the gas station in San Jose.

He was fine as fuck. Tall, ripped, curly black hair, and seemingly nice from the super short interaction I had with him is a lot of good things. If the vibe I got from him was correct, then he's into me and I think he's very attractive as well.

"Alright, let's get started," Harrison says.

"We don't really know how to," Cam speaks up for all of us.

"It's fine. We'll teach you," Kai assures us.

The group moves to the beach. I feel like the water would look more beautiful if we were doing this while the sun was setting, but then it would be too dark and none of us really know how to surf. I think we'll be fine as long as Aaron and Cam let go of each other for 5 seconds so they don't crash into each other's surfboards.

"Alright. Put your boards on the ground and lie on them flat on your stomach," Harrison orders.

We follow his orders, getting on our boards on our stomachs. It's so fucking hot out right now. I know I said I tan well but if I stay out here for a really long time I'll get burnt.

"Practice getting up from this position, this is what you're gonna be doing when we're actually on the water."

We easily get up from our boards, standing up on them. I know that actual surfing will not be this easy because the water will fuck up any chance of me actually standing up straight, but this is relatively easy so far.

"So now you guys know how to stand up on your boards. Come over here," Harrison tells us, and we all follow him to the water. "Put your boards in the water and lie down flat on your stomach and paddle your way farther into the water."

We do what he tells us to do, lying on our boards once again. I start to paddle out farther into the water. The water is so cool and super refreshing because I'm really starting to heat up in the sun right now. We should've picked an earlier time to do this because the sun will be out for the next several hours.

"When you feel comfortable, begin to stand up and just let the waves take you," Harrison yells to us, getting onto his board as well.

Kai gets up, looking comfortable as he lets the waves guide him to wherever the fuck they want him to go. To be completely honest, I have no desire to stand up from the board. I'm comfortable here and I'd much rather stay here than stand up and most likely fall over. I think everyone else is thinking the same way as me because no one else is standing up. If we fall into the water we'll be fine, but if we fall back onto our boards then that might hurt a bit.

DeShaun is the first of us to stand up, and he immediately has a really hard time getting balanced, rocking back and forth on the board. He eventually falls over into the water.

I take all the confidence I have ever had and put that into standing up, not moving, but just standing up on the board, but then realizing that I was off balance and repeating literally the exact same thing that DeShaun did.

Everyone is laughing and shit, people keep on falling, and no one other than Derek is actually able to get a good grasp on how to do this shit.

"Derek! How are you so good at this!?" Aaron yells out to his best friend who is actually doing well.

Derek answers with just a shrug. I feel like he's been completely silent since I came here. He's said barely anything to me or anyone else while I've been around. I think it's because he's still worried that I'm gonna say something that might out him.

Again, I've said this before and I'll say it again, coming out is something that someone should do on their own. No one should pressure anyone into coming out, they should just be able to come out on their own will.

Eventually, the other 6 of us get a better grasp of how to control the board, now paddling ourselves around the water.

I make the dumb mistake of staring at Derek too long, and he looks back at me and glares at me. That glare turned me on though, it didn't scare me. He's too fucking hot to really scare someone unless I'm totally not expecting it.

"Kai!!!" I hear someone yell to Kai from the beach.

I look in the direction of the voice, my eyes landing on Julian, the same Julian that I met in San Jose, but without a shirt. He looks so fucking beautiful without a shirt. His tanned skin is perfect in the light of the sun. Black curls are falling all over his forehead, and his fucking body is astonishing.

Kai turns his board around to face Julian and makes his way towards the sand.

"Julian!!! How have you been, bro?" he asks, getting off the board and onto the beach.

I don't hear the rest of their conversation, but in no time, the two of them are in the water with the rest of us, surfing like pros. Or at least they look like they're surfing like pros. I have no idea and I doubt anyone else has any idea because we've never watched pro surfing if that even exists.

Julian passes by me and recognizes me. "Adrian, I don't know if you remember me, I met you at a gas station two days ago in San Jose I think," he tells me.

"Yeah, I remember you. I didn't know you were one of Kai's friends. That's pretty cool. We're all going to UCLA to play football together, this is our last week here," I tell him and he nods.

"That's pretty cool. What were you doing in San Jose?" he asks, smiling at me. He has those lines on his cheeks right next to his mouth that become obvious when he talks or opens his mouth at all. He looks absolutely fucking beautiful.

"I was at a football camp. Just training to get better before college, I needed to gain some muscle," I tell him honestly.

"That's cool. So, have you thought about joining the pride club?" he asks. I have not. I have not thought one moment about the pride club. I have thought about him.

"Not really, but I would be happy to join if you're involved," I say, not catching my own choice of words. I should've thought a little bit before suggesting that I only want to join because of him. That might give him ideas that I would be very much on board with.

"Yeah, I think it's great. I'm an athlete as well, so I know what it's like, more or less, to be kind of out of place. I don't really come off to other people as gay, but I am gay. I am openly gay, and I'm proud of it. The other students in the pride club were super welcoming to me, and I really appreciated what they did for me. I was going through some tough shit with my family after I came out, and the pride club really gave me a good, safe space to be open about the way I'm feeling or the way I'm doing," he rambles and I nod.

"Yeah, I'm not really in the 100% same boat as you, but I have faced some shit in terms of people calling me slurs and hating me because I'm gay, I could use that as a safe space, but at the same time, I have close friends that are dating. In a gay relationship. I'll probably join, but only to meet more people that are like me."

"You won't regret it, Adrian. We would love to have you join," he says and I nod.

I think I really will join the pride club. Hanging out with all of these guys is great and they are always gonna stick up for me, but I need to branch out and meet other people that I can connect with on a deeper level. People that have faced homophobia, people that have had to deal with being lonely, people that just want love. Those are the kinds of people I need to really begin to hang out with more.

I almost forget that we're still surfing and in the ocean right now, and I begin to stand up. Devin, Aaron, and Cam are all yet to make an attempt to stand up. I finally get on my feet without falling over, and look over at everyone else.

Particularly Derek.

He is looking at me, almost as if he has been looking in my direction for a decent amount of time. He sees me looking at him and immediately turns away.

I'm just surprised he wasn't glaring at me this time.

A/N: This is the final chapter you get in the quadruple update. I'm gonna challenge myself to write this as slow of a slow burn as I can possibly stand. I'm talking at least 20 chapter before any confessing. I hope you're enjoying this so far, I am a pretty unserious person so writing about homophobia and shit like that I'm having a hard time with. I just don't really know how to convey just how much this has actually really affected Adrian because Adrian is deep down a funny person, and chapter 1 when he was fighting those guys was supposed to be a moment where they were being horrible to him, but he just outsmarted them with his sense of humor. I hopefully can improve on that. Thanks for reading!!!