Chapter 12

I almost pulled away from Justin as he led me through tables, but curiosity encouraged me to keep going. I let him take me to the dancefloor. What memory was he talking about?

I felt nervous under the scrutiny of eyes. Were they watching us? Would they judge us for dancing at an event like this? There really weren't many couples on the dancefloor. Mr and Mrs Gulliver were tearing it up, arm in arm and having the time of their lives. There were two other couples, but they weren't nearly as lively. All of them were at least fifty years old and clearly had enough life experience not to care what others thought of them.

I had reservations, even when Justin took my hand and gently pulled me to his chest. A sharp intake of breath opened me to his delicious scent. Being this close, it was more intense than I'd ever experienced.

"I'm a little hurt that you don't remember," he said with a frown as we swayed side to side. "You do know what song this is, don't you?"

He let go of my waist to slowly spin me around. When I came back to his chest and rested my hand on his shoulder again, I was smiling. I recognised the song the moment I let myself listen to it closely. It was an instrumental of Stevie Wonder's Isn't She Lovely. "Of course I know it. My question is, why should I know it?"

Justin gave a small chuckle. "Again, I'm hurt that you find me so unmemorable. Think back about twelve years. Same song, similar but very different circumstances."

I did as he asked, and as he twirled me again, the memory came to me. "The wedding?" It was usually a memory I actively blocked, but letting it in now, I remembered. At his dad's wedding to Caroline, we danced together to this same song, that time with lyrics.

"If I recall," he continued, "you weren't very keen on me back then."

I wasn't very keen on anything that happened back then. "Who says I'm keen on you now?" I asked, raising a brow and trying to look serious.

Justin chuckled again. "Well you can look at me this time, and you're not frowning. I must not be as repulsive."

"Nine-year-old boys have cooties," I shrugged. While I was smiling on the outside, my insides were in chaos. I couldn't believe he remembered that moment, or the fact that I'd spent the entire dance glaring at him. I didn't know whether my blush was from embarrassment at my past behaviour, or from the fact that he noticed me even when we were kids.

"And now?" he pressed, holding my gaze. There was nothing innocent about the way he looked at me now and my blush deepened. I could feel my chest warm. And the tingles his gentle hand left on my skin? They intensified to a point where I could feel his touch in every nerve of my body.

A tap on Justin's shoulder broke the intensity flaring between us. I wasn't sure if I should be thankful or not, but Mr and Mrs Gulliver's timely interruption prevented me from answering. "May we have this dance?" Mr Gulliver asked in his most haughty voice.

Justin's arms dropped from my hand and waist. I tried sending him a silent message—don't do it—but he was no longer looking at me. "Sure," he politely agreed. And then Mrs Gulliver grabbed his hand and they were dancing.

"Don't worry, Dear," Mr Gulliver said. I turned to him and took his hand. He'd been patiently waiting as I watched Justin get swooped away. "My wife is a little out there, but she's all talk and no action. She's harmless."

I smiled at him, but inside, I was still worried. Was she harmless? Surely, if he was this blasé about his wife's behaviour, she couldn't be too bad.

Mr Gulliver and I danced to Michael Bublé and he asked how my father was doing. As it turned out, dancing with the Gullivers could work in our favour. They were travel bloggers, and apparently quite well-known. They'd also stayed at my dad's hotel over the summer. I would have to look them up later to see that review. I never knew there'd been one.

Thinking about my dad brought other things back to mind. Justin had this uncanny way of making me forget about the world around me and all its problems. With him gone, thoughts of Dad, Caroline, and even Sawyer creeped back in.

I quickly glanced around the large room. I found Justin's dad swiftly enough, but no Caroline. I also couldn't spot Sawyer in the place I'd left him or with the friend he'd been talking to. I was supposed to be getting him a drink, but instead, I'd ended up dancing with Justin.

As the song ended, so did our dancing. Mr Gulliver and Justin shook hands and Mrs Gulliver pulled me in for a hug. "I like this one, he's a spunk," she whispered in my ear. As we parted, she winked at me, and I pressed my lips together to hold in my giggle.

"What's so funny?" Justin asked as we slowly walked away.

I shook my head. If I said it, I would definitely laugh.

"That woman likes to get up close and personal. She put her hand inside my jacket!"

I pressed my hand to my mouth.

"What? I'm not saying I hated it," he shrugged with a smug expression.

This time, I let it out. "Well, she does think you're a spunk," I laughed.

"What does that mean?"

My turn to shrug. "I have no idea," I said. Yet somehow, I had to agree with Mrs Gulliver.

"Maybe we can puzzle it out over a cocktail," Justin suggested as he put his arm around me again. He was leading me to the bar, where I was supposed to be getting Sawyer a drink.

"Actually," I began, pulling away from him. "I need to visit the ladies room."

"Are you okay?" he asked in concern.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Justin didn't question me again and I walked back across the dancefloor toward the bathroom doors.

It was a luxury space, as far as bathrooms went. The cubicles were behind another door. I didn't need them and instead walked to the middle of the room where there was a round sofa made of white velvet. I sat and took a few deep breaths.

I was an idiot. Dancing with Justin was not the best idea. Of course, I couldn't deny how good it felt at the time, but now that I was away from him, I felt something heavy forming deep in my chest. Then there was Sawyer to think about as well. Had he seen? What would he say? It shouldn't matter because we were just friends, but I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it wasn't a good one.

"Elizabeth?"

I stood up when I heard her voice. I didn't hear the door to the second room open, but there was Caroline, watching me with a curious expression. She walked across the room to wash her hands and I couldn't take my eyes off her. Just as I'd observed earlier tonight, she was beautiful.

I was rooted to the spot as she watched me through the mirror. When she finished drying her hands, she turned back to me with a tight smile. "How are you?" she asked with caution as if she was approaching a baby bird who'd fallen from its nest.

It took a few moments to find my voice, but when it came, I put as much strength as I could muster into it. "I'm well, thank you. Yourself?"

She smiled again. "I'm also well, thank you." And then we stood in silence, neither one of use knowing what to say.

I'd imagined this moment countless times over the years, particularly in the last week. I had plenty to say, but now that the situation presented itself, I was speechless. And I couldn't stop looking at her. She had a few more wrinkles around the eyes than the last time I saw her. I suppose a decade of life lived could do that to a person. Even though she looked a little older, she somehow seemed younger. Was that because she now lived the life she always wanted?

Caroline broke the silence. "I saw you and Justin dancing earlier. I didn't realise you two were friends."

I nodded. "We study the same course at Uni."

There was a feeling in my chest. Satisfaction? Or perhaps disappointment that she knew very little about my life? Not that I should blame her. I was the one who cut off all ties.

"Richard must be happy you're learning the family business."

The mention of my dad's name triggered a different feeling. I looked away from her. She had no right to talk about my father, not after what she did to him. Some familiar feelings, the ones from my childhood that I'd buried long ago, came rushing to the surface.

"Actually, Dad is supportive of all my interests. He's happy as long as I'm happy," I said firmly, even though I couldn't be sure of his happiness. What I did know was that I wasn't the cause of all his pain over the years. She was.

"I should get back out there," I said, taking a step back.

"Ellie, wait," Caroline started. She pressed her hands together and held them in front of her mouth for a moment. "I realise that I have little right to know this, but growing up, were you okay? Were you happy?" The look in her eyes told me she was sincere, but she we right, she didn't deserve to know.

I was going to tell her the truth regardless. We were alone, but even if we weren't, I don't think I would hold back. I took two deep breaths to calm myself, and then I let loose the speech I'd been preparing all week. "I actually spent the end of primary school in the counsellor's office."

Caroline looked like she wanted to say something, but I cut off her attempts and continued. I had to say it all now before I chickened out.

"I was lucky, though, because I had a father who loved me unconditionally and did everything he could to help me. And he still tries every day to make sure I'm the happy one, even at his own expense. So was I okay growing up? No. I don't even know if I'm happy now. But I am stronger, and I'm the one who gets to decide my life."

Tears were threatening to escape by the end of my heated speech, but I refused to let them free. She did not get to see me cry.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, looking like she might shed a tear herself.

I started backing up again. When I was halfway out the door, I looked back. "I'm not."

I walked straight passed the dancefloor and weaved through the tables and suits. I'd just told off Caroline and now I wanted to forget it. My outburst hadn't worked. All the emotions that had been welling inside me were still there, and they felt heavier than before. So, it was time to go.

When I reached our table, Sawyer wasn't there. He was my ride and my way out. Luckily Mrs Gulliver was there sucking down a bright pink cocktail. "Have you seen Sawyer?" I asked carefully, hoping that I sounded confident.

She was either oblivious or drunk because she didn't pick up on my shaking voice. "He went to the bar, Darling. I think he's buying me another cosmo."

I thanked her with a tight smile, grabbed my purse, and turned in the direction of the bar. Unfortunately, when I got there, my escape plan was faced with another barrier.

Sawyer was there. So was Justin. They were both leaning on the edge of the bar with their backs to me. And they were talking. I stopped a few feet away. Could this night get any worse? What were they talking about?

Sawyer's voice was the first I heard, and it was full of contempt. "It takes a big man to live off daddy."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Justin asked, standing up straight.

Sawyer did the same. "Some of us have to work for our positions, we don't all get to be some spoon fed, private school lad with a trust fund that kicks some poor sod out of his office just because he can."

Justin turned to face him with a look I'd never seen before. "Mate, you've got no idea what you're talking about. And at least I'm not climbing the ladder by sleeping with the boss's daughter."

I spoke up before either one of them could throw a real punch, because that's where it looked like they were headed. "You're both arseholes."

They turned to face me at the same time. One looked guilty, the other angry. I shook my head, turned, and walked toward the door. They were just another reason I needed to get out of this stupid party.