Chapter 19

The satisfaction of hearing Justin gasp was almost more than I could handle. All barriers were down. The lines had been crossed. There was no going back now.

Justin's hands seemed to agree, as they wandered over my bare thighs, brushed gently along my ribs, and reached up to cup my face. He pressed his lips back to mine, changing our tempo and slowing down.

My mind was foggy, and I couldn't think straight, not that I wanted to. Justin had this way of making me forget the world around me, and that was usually when I was just in his presence. Now? I was completely blank, the only thing I could focus on was the way he made me feel with the smallest of touches.

Nothing else mattered.

Until a loud bang caused me jump and pull back from the kiss.

"Wow! Sorry!" came Darcy's surprised voice as Justin flipped me around, shielding me with his own body. "That's... wow..."

"Goodbye Darcy," Justin said, turning to wave her away.

When he looked back down at me, where I laid between the armrest of the couch and his naked torso, he gave me a sheepish grin. I pressed my palm against his chest, over his tattoo, and pushed gently. He took the hint and sat up, pulling me with him.

I cleared my throat as I untangled our legs and stood up. Looking around the living room, I noticed Darcy had disappeared. But that didn't matter. She had seen us doing whatever it was we were doing. A flush of embarrassment covered my body and a lump had already formed in my throat. Hastily, I pulled my skirt back down to where it should be.

"You okay?" Justin asked cautiously.

I didn't dare look at him as I started tucking in my blouse, and I didn't trust my self to speak, so I hummed and nodded.

A set of heavy footsteps sounded in the hall, and I looked up to see Isaac bound through the doorway on trail to the kitchen. "Morning," he said, looking at us curiously. I would probably do the same if I walked into such a tension-filled room to see one person half naked and the other standing timidly and avoiding eye-contact. When neither of us said anything, Isaac continued into the kitchen.

"Ellie," Justin began, standing up beside me.

I turned to him, face to chest, not sure of anything. Coherence had returned and she was weaving some very tangled webs in my mind.

Justin's slight frown and concerned eyes weren't helping either.

Familiar giggles sounded through the door and I took a step away from Justin as Sascha and Dale ran into the room, his hands catching her around the waist.

"Morning," I squeaked, hoping to sound normal. By the way Sascha's eyebrows rose as she glanced curiously between me and a shirtless Justin, I'd failed.

Justin cleared his throat and reached for his shirt, which had ended up on the floor. He pulled it over his head swiftly.

"I'll just go grab my purse," Sascha said with a wide grin, taking hold of Dale's hand and pulling him out of the room. Dale's smirk as he trailed after her reminded me of the position we'd just been in.

I hooked up with Justin in the middle of his living room, where anyone could walk in and see. And they had!

When I looked back up at him, the worry in his expression had deepened. He reached for my hand, the one hanging by my side, not the one fiddling with my collar.

"Are we okay with what..." he trailed, not finishing his sentence.

I slowly pulled my hand from his, giving him a small smile. "Y-yeah," I stammered. "But we should really get going to work. I'm covering most of Sascha's shift because she has her sister's hen's party tonight. It's going to be a really long day." I was waffling as I walked around the coffee table and to the doorway.

When I glanced back at him, I was struck by his confused expression and his dishevelled appearance. He crossed his arms over his chest and ran one of those gentle hands across his jaw, keeping his eyes on me. My response didn't seem to placate him.

Sascha came back into the room, bags in hand and looking ready to go. She gave me a slight push, effectively reading the room and helping me out of the awkwardness. "We're running late. Bye Justin," she called behind her as we reached the door.

Justin didn't say anything.

I avoided eye-contact with Sascha as we crossed the road and got into the car.

"Your hair is out of place," she stated in an all-knowing tone.

I grumbled at her, looking in the mirror to fix my hair and pin it back into place. I couldn't deal with her sass right now. "Do not say a word!"

She didn't. Instead, she just giggled.

***

Work proved to be exceptionally difficult that day. Not because Sascha made little remarks about this morning, or because the jobs I needed to do were difficult, but because I couldn't keep a clear mind and was highly distracted with thoughts of Justin.

There was also the fact that Sawyer, who'd greeted me with his usual charm, was just behind the office door. The guilt was weighing heavy on my shoulders.

Now that I was away from Justin and could think somewhat clearly again, I remembered the many reasons kissing him was a bad idea, and this was one of them. How would Sawyer react if he found out? He said he would wait until I made a choice between them. Was carrying on with Justin this morning me making that choice?

It couldn't be. There were too many other things to think about. Starting something with Justin meant seeing his family, and Caroline. I couldn't be in a relationship and not meet his mother. Well, stepmother. And I'd already met her. I'd spent my first few years of life with her, which brought up a whole range of other complications I didn't want to think about.

"You doing okay over there, Boss Lady?" Sascha asked from the other side of the room where she was watering the plants.

I frowned at her for calling me Boss Lady. "Everyone has checked out on time with no complaints, so yes."

She wandered back over to the counter and placed the empty watering can underneath. "You're spiralling," she said knowingly. "I can tell."

Of course she could. She had this weird intuition. Or maybe she was just good at reading people, namely me.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said, bending down to pull out a heavy draw full of room keys.

"You can't avoid it for long."

"Can't avoid what?" another voice asked.

I jumped up, groaning as I banged my knee on the bottom of the draw.

Sawyer made a face as I leaned down to clutch it. "Ouch. You good?"

I nodded, trying my best to ignore the pain. It wouldn't last long; it wasn't that bad. "I'm good."

Satisfied with my response, he continued. "Elle, I know it's not your job anymore, but can I please get your help with the rosters. Maria's taking her maternity leave early—she's been put on bed rest—and they need redoing, and I'm on hold with the contractor for the remodel, and then I have a meeting with Richard. It needs to get done, and you're really quick."

"Don't worry, I'm coming," I said, seeing the stress in his eyes.

Sascha piped up as I started toward the office. "Don't forget I leave in twenty," she called to Sawyer.

"She'll be back out by then."

I hoped Sawyer was right and it was a quick task. As we walked into the office, he sat down at his desk and picked up the phone while I sat at the computer against the other wall. I felt weird and rigid, and decided I needed to focus on something other than being alone in a room with him feeling this guilty.

I opened the software and looked carefully at the available staff who could cover Maria's shifts and cross-checked how many hours they wanted to work. While I was doing that, I completely blocked out Sawyer's voice as he spoke to the contractor on the phone.

Focusing on a controlled task with a definitive outcome was a good distraction. So good, in fact, that I didn't notice Sawyer approach until his hands landed on my shoulders. I jumped at his touch.

"Sorry," he smiled. I looked away, turning back to the screen, squirming a little. "Is everything okay?" he asked, concern in his tone.

"Sure," I said, forcing a smile. But everything was not okay!

Sawyer mistook my guilt as physical pain. "Is your knee okay?" he asked, spinning my chair around so I had no choice but to face him. "Let me see."

He squatted in front of me to examine my knee. It was a little red, but it didn't hurt. When his fingers poked gently at it, my knee gave an involuntary jerk, but it had nothing to do with me hitting it earlier.

"Honestly, it's fine," I said, trying to turn my chair around.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded earnestly, but he didn't let go. "Elle, what's going on?"

He could tell something was up.

I deflected. "We just need to get this done so Sass can go."

Sawyer let go and I spun back to the screen to show him what I'd done. He seemed satisfied with my work. His hands found my shoulders again as he leaned in to get a closer look. "Knew you'd sort it out quickly."

A knock at the door made me jump again, but Sawyer didn't move this time, probably because it was Sascha at the door and she knew about our... thing. There was no reason to hide from her.

She, however, seemed taken aback. "I need to head off," she said, her usual sass absent from her tone.

I stood up and Sawyers hands dropped. "I'm coming now."

Without another word to Sawyer, I left the office and went back to the front desk. Sascha had disappeared down the hall to the staffroom, likely collecting her things. When she returned, it was with a serious expression.

She stood right next to me, one elbow resting on the counter as she spoke in a low voice. "This is going to sound harsh, but I would be a shitty friend if I didn't say it."

I turned to her, surprised that she seemed upset. She didn't wait for me to say anything.

"You need to tell him about what happened with Justin."

"I will," I mumbled, hoping this conversation wouldn't go any further.

"When?" she asked, a little irate.

I shrugged. "When I tell him."

That wasn't good enough. "Ellie, you've got two really good guys hanging on the hook here. This morning you hooked up with Justin, and now I catch you getting cosy with Sawyer in the office? What the hell?"

"Nothing was happening with Sawyer just now," I said defensively.

Sascha scoffed. "Sure didn't look that way."

I shrugged again. He was just being Sawyer. We were so comfortable around each other that he didn't think twice before touching me. That's all she saw.

"You need to tell him," she repeated, pushing off the counter and stepping away.

"I will," I told her, still defensive. "But not here in the middle of a shift when we still have hours to work together."

Sascha walked around the desk, ready to leave. "Fine, but maybe you should go to staff drinks tonight," she suggested, challenging me with raised brows.

I sighed. "Yeah, maybe."

She backed up towards the door. "See you later."

"Have fun tonight!" I called before she disappeared, feeling extra guilty now.

Sascha and I hadn't argued in a long time, not that this was much of an argument. It still made me feel like a horrible friend, though. I knew there was a reason I shouldn't have given in and kissed Justin. This was just another thing to add to the list of consequences I should have considered.

I placed my head in my hands and let out a frustrated groan. How could one action cause such a mess?