Chapter 23

I had a turbulent relationship with weddings. Most I'd been to were a good time, but the first I'd been to was traumatic.

Sascha's sister's wedding was a good time for everyone else, but I found it difficult joining in the festivities. The bride and groom, Mina and Marko, were a perfect vision of true love, or what I imagined it could look like. Even though I could sense their nerves from my place at the back of the church, I was mesmerised by the way they gazed into each other's eyes and the way they said 'I do' with absolute confidence. They were meant to be. They believed that, and so did everyone else.

Were all relationships supposed to be like this, so pure and unopposed? How did a couple even make it to this point? And if a relationship went beyond the so called honeymoon phase, how did they keep it from falling apart?

When they said 'until death do us part,' my mind instantly considered the point of all this. Was there one if nothing lasted forever?

"You're going to get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that."

I glanced up at the sound of Sascha's voice. She was a vision in her bridesmaid dress, waltzing over to the entrance of the corridor I stood in. Her complaints about the colour and cut were completely unjustified in my opinion. The powder blue sweetheart dress suited her. She was gorgeous, and I hoped she felt that way today.

"How are you doing?" I asked, hoping to keep the attention on her. "It's a beautiful wedding." I looked pointedly at the decorations in the large reception room. Mina had good taste. The white florals hanging from the ceiling and the scattering of crystal chandeliers was exactly what I expected from her.

"I am exhausted," Sascha whined, "And I can't wait to get out of these shoes!"

"Did you bring flats?"

"I wasn't allowed," she pouted. "Bridezilla won't let me wear anything but these heels until the videographer leaves." Also not a surprise.

"That's still quite a while away."

"I'll live." Her pout turned serious. There really was no escaping her. "So, do you want to tell me what you're doing hiding over here? Is Dale being annoying? He can be a little annoying."

I shook my head. "Dale's been great. I just need a break."

"What's going on?" she prodded, concern now lacing her tone. "Is it me? I know I've been a little bitchy this past week. I'm really sorry I've been that way to you. I have no right to treat you like that."

I shook my head. "You haven't done anything. Promise." That didn't satisfy her. A non-answer was not going to cut it, so I caved. "I spoke to Caroline last night."

Sascha's perfectly glossed mouth fell open. "Excuse me? What? Why? What happened?"

With heat bubbling in my chest, I relayed the cliff notes version of my horrid week. From breaking things off with Sawyer and arguing with Justin, to my talk with Dad, calling Caroline and having a meltdown at the mere sound of her voice. It took a while for me to calm down after the tears started rolling, but when I did, Caroline was there to listen to me for what felt like the first time in my entire life. It was a long talk, nearly two hours, but I learned a lot. My world had been turned upside down in the past twenty four hours and I was still coming to terms with it.

Sascha was dumbstruck, speechless even. She didn't say a word until she was sure I'd finished. "Ellie, I'm so sorry I've been such a cow lately. Why didn't you call me after?"

I shrugged. "You've had the wedding to deal with, I didn't want to bother you. It's okay, I'm okay."

"Are you really?" She didn't seem so sure.

"I am actually. I'm not perfectly okay, but I am okay."

"So does this mean you and Caroline are speaking now? Did you sort things out?"

Not by any means. We'd spoken about my anger at her leaving, and the subsequent consequences I'd faced since. I let a lot out, and she listened quietly. Then she shared her own feelings, about the shame and guilt that had plagued her since the day she left. About the hurt she struggled through when I rejected her. We'd both suffered and were still suffering in our own ways. "Not exactly, but I think it's a start."

Concern laced Sascha's expression. She'd lent against the wall for my entire story and now stood up straight, readjusting her strapless dress. "So this all happened because Justin was a dick?"

"I think I needed to hear some of the things he said."

Sascha pursed her lips. "He could have been nicer about it."

I shrugged. Perhaps, but I didn't want to talk about him.

Sensing my discomfort, she changed the subject. "So do you really think I look okay? I wore the chicken fillets and I think it works."

Maybe Justin was right. Maybe Sascha did aide my deterrence to difficult situations and undesirable emotions.

"It definitely works," I laughed.

"Are you sure?"

"Are you kidding? Dale has been undressing you with his eyes all night. The way he's been looking at you has made me picture you naked."

Her lips formed a smug smirk. "Like what you see?"

I rolled my eyes. "Speak of the devil, here comes Mr. Perfect now."

Dale weaved his way through Sascha's mingling family members, a look of terror on his face. When he reached us, he was in panic mode. "Your grandmother keeps giving me the evil eye," he whispered, leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the lips. "Ugh, sticky."

"Sorry, I can take it off later." Sascha reached up to wipe the gloss from his mouth. "Baba will keep giving you the evil eye until you introduce yourself."

Dale fidgeted with his cuffs. He was no stranger to new people, but this was different. Meeting most of Sascha's family in one go must be daunting. "Help?"

"Okay, come on, she's really not that scary."

I had to disagree. Baba was intimidating until you got to know her. I could vouch for Dale's fears, having experienced many myself when I first met Sascha's grandparents.

Sascha glanced back at me. "Are you sure you're okay? I'm here for you."

I gave her my best everything's fine smile. "I know. Go be with your boyfriend, I'll go and get a wine."

She still seemed unsure but left with him anyway.

When they were gone, I did as I said and found my way back to my table where I poured a large glass of white wine. My eyes found Sascha and I watched as Dale stuck his hand out to shake Baba's. She looked at it as if it were the most offensive thing in the world. Then the short, old woman reached for him, pulled him down to her height, and planted a wet kiss on his unsuspecting cheek.

That's when the MC called for attention and for everyone to return to their seats for the speeches. Sascha reluctantly let go of his hand and started for the bridal table and Dale made his way back over to our little corner and sat beside me, expression taut.

I reached into my purse and pulled out a tissue. "She got you good," I laughed, gesturing to the red lipstick stain on his cheek. It was closer to his lips than expected.

"Thanks for the warning."

"Hey, so not my fault. I've never seen her do that before."

Dale scrubbed the stain and checked the tissue. "Not even with her ex's?"

The confusion on his face told me he had no idea. "Baba has never met any of her ex's."

He paused, tissue pressed firmly against his cheek. "Oh." I took a small sip of wine, giving Dale some time to process that information. His surprise was quickly replaced by smugness.

"How are you going with meeting everyone?"

"Good actually. I think my worry was misplaced. They all seem keen to meet me actually."

On cue, the rest of our table returned and took their seats. Some of them I knew, having met Sascha's cousins at family events over the years. Even so, there was a degree of separation and I was thankful to be seated with Dale and have someone familiar to talk to.

Waiters brought around the main course as the speeches commenced. I found it difficult to relate to the inside jokes and childhood stories told by the parents and best man. When it was Sascha's turn to speak, it felt natural to laugh at the events from her childhood. When we we're younger, we enjoyed gossiping about her older sister. Our sleepovers often involved laughing at and looking up to Mina, who was doing things we desperately wanted to do.

Sascha's words were entertaining to me, but their effect was insignificant compared to what Dale must have felt.

Eyes glistening with admiration, he soaked up every word she said as if it were gospel. And when she glanced over to him mid-speech, his genuine smile caused her to blush so brightly that I could see it across the room. She looked down at the paper in front of her trying to regain her focus, not that she needed to. Sascha had this speech memorised weeks ago.

My best friend was in love.

And she was loved.

They hadn't said those three, scary little words to each other — Sascha would have told me if they did — but I had no doubts.

I couldn't help wonder what it was like. Was it worth it? Love?

For Sascha and Dale, it certainly seemed to be.

"You alright?" Dale asked when the speeches concluded and we'd raised our glasses for the cutting of the cake.

"Mhmm," I mumbled, taking a long sip from my glass. I reached for the bottle across the table and refilled my wine as the bride and groom began their first dance. Not long after, the bridal party joined them on the dance floor and Dale was back to watching Sascha's every move.

"You've been really good for her," I admitted quietly.

He reluctantly tore his gaze from Sascha's glow to assess me.

"And to her," I added. I'd never seen her so happy in a relationship and it was thanks to him.

Dale chuckled.

"What?" Did I say something wrong?

He hesitated, taking time to decide if he should tell me or not. "It's funny. Justin said something similar to me the other day, that she has been really good for me."

Justin.

"Oh."

I was surprised it took so long for his name to come up. Dale was his best mate, so I'd been expecting it in one way or another. Even so, hearing it said aloud caused my heart to race faster than the aunties running to the dance floor for the Grease Megamix.

Dale's next words came laced with caution. "Are you planning on working things out any time soon?"

Crossing my arms tightly around my waist, I looked down into my lap. That was a loaded question I couldn't answer. Thankfully, Sascha's impeccable timing was my godsend once again.

Sascha brushed passed us, affectionately running a hand across Dale's shoulders, to say hello to her cousins. When she was done hugging everyone she fell into her boyfriend's lap with a sigh. "I need another drink."

"Your speech is done, you can drink as much as you like," Dale smiled, wrapping his arms around her.

"You say that now, but you're the one taking me home."

He shrugged, not worried about the consequences of getting Sascha drunk. "It's a special occasion. What do you feel like drinking?"

Sascha scanned the small selection scattered in front of us. "Table wine or beer? No thanks! Marko's parents are paying for an open bar!"

"Tequila or vodka?" Dale mused.

Her eyes sparkled with mischief. "They have rakija." She pounced to her feet as if her heels no longer hurt and started backing towards the bar. "Let's go! Ellie?"

"Sure," I agreed. I'd tried rakija a few times and enjoyed it.

"Just give us one minute," Dale pleaded, taking his phone out of his suit pocket. Sascha complied and began rounding up some cousins to join her for a drink.

Dale fiddled with his phone, and just as I was standing up, my clutch purse vibrated.

I quickly pried open the magnetic snap and pulled out my phone, already knowing who it would be. The timing was not coincidental. Sure enough, Dale's name appeared in a notification. I stared at it, worried and curious.

"Don't take too long," he said in a low tone before leaving the table and ushering Sascha towards the bar. It didn't take a genius to figure out he wasn't referring to opening the message.

My curiosity peaked and I pressed the notification. A link took me to a social media site for Uni Bar and the current livestream. I'd seen advertisements around campus all week about Dream of Darcy's unplugged show. I swallowed. Darcy wasn't the only one on stage tonight.

Everyone had vacated the table. I was alone and far enough away from the speakers that I could hear the sound if I turned up the volume.

So I did.

I tuned in just as one song finished and Darcy spoke into the microphone. "Not that he will admit it, but this next duet goes out to Justin's would-be sweetheart." The crowd, which sounded like it was full of women, cheered as Justin pulled a guitar into his lap. He was sitting on a stool beside Darcy, a microphone set up in front of him. Unless Justin went around admitting he had feelings for multiple women, she could only mean me.

I sucked in a quivering breath. I was the would-be sweetheart.

Justin plucked strings to start the song, followed by Darcy's melodic tones and lyrics I recognised instantly. It was the Jonas Brothers song I'd mentioned to him weeks ago when he asked me which was my favourite.

It wasn't until Justin began singing that I realised I'd been holding my breath. His husky voice was shaky at first but it became smoother as his confidence grew. Darcy sang most of the lyrics, but my eyes were glued to Justin as if he was the only one on stage.

He'd learned and spent time rehearsing this song.

Did he decide to do this weeks ago or was this a recent revelation after our argument the other day? Why would he sing this song?

I glanced over at the bar, heart thumping in my chest. Dale was close to downing the rakija like a shot when Sascha stopped him, dramatically covering his mouth with her hand. Everyone around them laughed. One cousin even slapped him on the back as Sascha snuggled under his arm.

Grateful to be sitting alone, I looked up at the ceiling to blink away the wetness pooling in my eyes. Why couldn't I access the same kind of courage? The type it took to meet an entire family in one night. The type that helped you sing in front of a crowd, pouring your heart out without knowing if it would ever be reciprocated. The type it took to blindly trust someone with your heart.