Chapter 25

I‘m still reeling from the revelation that my husband—the man I’m undeniably falling for—has a past tangled up with the Russian mafia. On top of that, the news of my pregnancy has my head spinning.

With all that’s going on, all the danger that surrounds us, I’m wondering if now is the right time to tell Ivan that I’m pregnant.

Sliding into the passenger seat of the company car, a sleek and shiny BMW, I can’t help but feel a twinge of unease. The driver, a suited, tough-looking man with sunglasses, gives me a brief nod before starting the car. He’s the silent, stoic type, probably one of Ivan’s security guys, his presence both reassuring and intimidating.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm the thoughts swirling in my head. I need to pack for our unexpected retreat to the cabin, but first, there’s a necessary detour I need to make. Despite Ivan’s concerns for safety, I have to see Barb. I need the kind of strength and wisdom that only she can provide.

When we pull up outside Barb’s place, the driver parks the car and exits with quick efficiency. Before I know it, he’s standing at my door offering me a steadying hand.

I nod, appreciating his vigilance. ‘Thank you,’ I reply, stepping out of the car. His presence is a stark reminder of the new reality I’m facing in a world where I’m whisked around by silent bodyguards and my movements are monitored for safety.

Barb’s place is as welcoming as ever, her latest array of paintings adding splashes of color and life to the cozy apartment. She’s surprised to see me, her artist’s eyes quickly picking up on my unsettled state and the dark, silent man accompanying me.

‘Julie, what’s wrong, honey?’ she asks, her voice laced with concern.

I spill everything without hesitation—the pregnancy, Ivan’s past, the encounter with Boris. It all comes tumbling out in a rush. Barb listens intently, her expression shifting from shock to concern to that steely determination that I’ve always admired.

‘First things first,’ she says, standing up. ‘You and that baby are the priority. If Ivan thinks this cabin is the safest place for you, then you should go. But’ her eyes harden, ‘you make sure that man does everything in his power to keep you safe. And if he needs a piece of my mind to inspire him, he’ll get it.

“Secondly, congratulations! I’m so excited to be a great auntie!” I nod, a grin breaking across my face despite the chaos of the day.

‘Thanks. Can you believe it?’

Barb rushes over, enveloping me in a hug that’s both protective and bursting with happiness. ‘This is wonderful news!’ she exclaims, pulling back to look at me, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. ‘A little miracle!’

I laugh, the sound mingling with wonderment and a touch of disbelief. ‘It’s pretty crazy, isn’t it? A month ago I was single with no prospects and now…”

Barb holds my hands, her own trembling slightly with excitement. ‘Julie, this is a blessing. I know things are complicated right now, but this baby is a sign of hope, of new beginnings.’

We sit down together, the joy of the moment enveloping us amidst the uncertainty of the situation. ‘I can’t wait to spoil him or her rotten,’ she says.

I squeeze her hands, my heart swelling with love and gratitude. ‘They’re going to love their great-aunt Barb,’ I say, my voice catching. ‘And they’re going to hear all about how you’ve been there for us, through thick and thin.’

For a moment, we forget the looming threat of Boris, lost in the joy of the new life that is on the way. It’s a brief respite, a cherished oasis of happiness in a desert of worry and uncertainty.

The doorbell’s chime is abrupt, slicing through the quiet of Barb’s home. My newfound security detail moves with a silent efficiency that’s both reassuring and slightly unnerving. I watch as he answers the door, his posture alert, every inch the trained protector Ivan has assigned to me.

As the door swings open, a disheveled figure steps into view. He’s grungy, with unkempt hair and a weary look that speaks of hard living. His clothes are worn, and there’s a desperation in his eyes that’s alarming. Something about him strikes a chord of recognition, but I can’t quite place him.

Before I can ponder further, Barb’s sharp voice cuts through the air like a knife. ‘Calvin?’ she hisses, her tone a mix of disbelief and rising anger. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’

Calvin. The name jolts me, sending a shockwave through my body. Calvin, my father, the man responsible for my mother’s death. It’s been two decades since I’ve seen the man and yet here he is, standing in my aunt’s living room.

My guard steps forward, his body language ready to intervene, but my father’s plea stops everyone in their tracks. ‘Please, Barb,’ he begs, his voice hoarse with emotion. ‘I just want to see my daughter. She’s all I have left.’

I stare at him, a tumult of emotions crashing over me. Anger, confusion, a curious sense of detachment.

The guard positions himself between my father and me. He glances over his shoulder in my direction as if wordlessly sending the message that he’ll fold my father in half and toss him in the trash the second I ask. It’s an offer that’s hard to resist.

Barb narrows her eyes. “How the hell did you even know she was here?”

My father appears sheepish. “I’ve been keeping an eye on this place,” he says before turning to me. “I know you and your aunt have always been close, Julie. I figured that if I stayed nearby, it’d be only a matter of time before I saw my little girl again.”

Barb’s face is a mask of fury, her hands clenched at her sides. ‘You lost the right to call her your little girl the day you killed her mother,’ she spits out, her voice trembling with barely contained rage.

“It was an accident!” he raises his voice.

“Bullshit,” Barb responds in a like tone.

My father looks defeated, his shoulders slumping as he absorbs Barb’s words. His eyes, hollow and haunted, shift to me, seeking some semblance of recognition, of connection. But all I feel is a hollow emptiness, a void where paternal love should have been.

The air in the room feels charged, heavy with the burden of years of unspoken pain. My father stands there, a figure of remorse and desperation, his eyes pleading for something that feels impossible to give.

‘I know you have every right to hate me, Julie,’ he says, his voice quivering with emotion. ‘And I wouldn’t blame you if you did. But I’m not the man I used to be. I’ve found God, turned my life around. All I’m asking for is a chance to tell you how sorry I am. To make amends for the unforgivable.’

His words hang in the air, a desperate plea from a man seeking redemption. But the scars he left, the wounds he inflicted, they run deep, deeper than mere apologies can heal.

Barb’s skepticism is palpable, her stance firm and protective. ‘Sorry doesn’t change the past, Calvin. It doesn’t bring her back,’ she says, her voice steady but laced with a bitterness born from years of carrying the weight of loss and betrayal.

I stand torn between the man claiming to be my father and the lifetime of hurt he’s responsible for. He’s a stranger to me, yet his presence stirs a turmoil of emotions I can’t quite comprehend.

‘I’ve lived without parents basically my whole life, without the family I should have had. And it’s all because of you,’ I say, my voice barely above a whisper, yet carrying the weight of decades of pain. ‘How can you just expect me to accept your apology? To believe that you’ve changed?’

My father’s face crumples, the lines etched with a lifetime of regret and sorrow. ‘I can’t change the past, Julie. I know that. I live with that guilt every day. But I’m here now, asking for forgiveness, asking for a chance to at least try to make things right.”

The tension in the room escalates as Calvin’s demeanor shifts, his desperation giving way to a more aggressive stance. It’s a startling transformation that reveals the complexity of the man standing before us.

‘Julie, please,’ he implores, his voice edging on insistence. ‘I’m not asking for much. Just a chance to talk, to explain myself.’

I shake my head, my resolve firm. ‘I can’t, not now. This is all too much. I need time.’

He takes a step closer, his frustration evident. ‘I’ve waited years for this moment, Julie. Don’t shut me out now. I’m your father, for God’s sake!’

His claim, meant to bridge the gap between us, only serves to widen it further. The guard, a silent sentinel until now, steps forward, his presence a silent warning. Calvin’s eyes flicker to him, and for a moment a flash of the man he claims he no longer is surfaces, a glimpse of the anger and violence that once defined him.

But he checks himself, the anger dissipating as quickly as it appeared. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper with a number scrawled on it. He extends it toward me, his hand trembling slightly.

‘Here. This is my number. Call me when you’re ready to talk. Please, Julie. I’m begging you.’

His voice is a mix of desperation and hope, a plea from a man seeking redemption from the daughter he never really knew. I don’t respond, my silence speaking volumes. He stares at me for a moment longer, searching for a sign, any indication of forgiveness. But I offer none.

With a heavy sigh he turns and walks away, his shoulders slumped in defeat. The door closes behind him, leaving us in the aftermath of an unexpected encounter that has created an uproar in mere minutes.

“Julie,” Barb says, turning to me. “I’m so, so sorry for that. I had no idea he was going to just barge in here.”

I’m stunned. I don’t know what to say, don’t know how to even begin processing what just happened, my father reappearing out of the blue.

“Did you know he was out?” That’s all I can think to say.

After he killed my mother, my father was arrested and ultimately convicted of involuntary manslaughter. He was sentenced to twenty years in prison.

My aunt’s expression softens as she meets my gaze. ‘Yes, I knew he’d been released,’ she admits, her voice tinged with regret. ‘But I honestly hoped he’d be smart enough to stay away. I thought he’d understand that you wanted nothing to do with him.’

Her eyes drop, and I can see the weight of her decision of not telling me pressing down on her. ‘I should’ve told you, sweetheart. I should have prepared you for the possibility of him showing up. I just… I wanted to protect you from more pain. I’m so sorry.’

I can see the sincerity in her eyes, the genuine remorse. Barb has always been my protector, the one constant in a life marked by loss and uncertainty. I know her intentions were to shield me, even if it meant keeping me in the dark about Calvin’s release.

‘It’s okay,’ I say, reaching out to grasp her hands. ‘You’ve always looked out for me. I know you didn’t mean any harm. And honestly, I’m not even sure what I would’ve done with that information.’

Barb looks up, her eyes meeting mine. ‘I just didn’t want his shadow to darken your life again, Julie. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve peace.’

I squeeze her hands, grateful for her unwavering support and love. ‘I have peace, thanks to you and Ivan. Calvin can’t take that away from me. Not anymore.’ Another thought occurs to me, an unsettling one. “Are you okay? Are you safe here with him knowing where you live?’

Barb’s response is immediate, her voice laced with the fearless strength I’ve always admired. ‘That man doesn’t scare me, Julie. He wouldn’t dare fuck with me, not now, not ever. His best days are long behind him.’

Her confidence is infectious, a balm to my chaotic state of nerves. Yet despite her bravado, a part of me wishes for that same fearlessness. The encounter with my father has left me shaken.

‘I wish I had your courage, Barb,’ I admit, a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips.

Barb steps closer, her hands gripping my shoulders firmly. ‘You have more strength than you realize, Julie. You’re facing all of this head-on, and that takes guts. You’re a fighter, just like me, just like your mom.”

Her words are a comfort, a reminder of the resilience that runs in our family. I nod, drawing strength from her unwavering support.

‘I should get going,’ I say, the reality of my own situation pressing in. ‘Ivan’s waiting for me, and we have a lot to figure out.’

Barb pulls me into a tight embrace, her arms wrapping around me in a protective cocoon. ‘You go and sort things out with that husband of yours. And remember, I’m always here for you, no matter what. Please stay safe.’

I hug her back, grateful for her presence in my life. ‘Thanks, Aunt Barb. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

Breaking away from the embrace, I head toward the door, my mind a tempest of thoughts. The encounter with Calvin, the looming threat of Boris, the pregnancy, it’s a lot to process. But I know I’m not alone. I have Barb, Ivan, and the strength that’s always been a part of me, even when I’ve doubted it.

I step out of Barb’s apartment, the guard by my side, and I take a deep breath. It’s time to face whatever comes next, to protect my growing family and confront the shadows of the past.