Chapter 25

"After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her." Mark Twain, Diaries of Adam & Eve

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Chapter Twenty – Five

Luke awoke to the sensation of someone shaking him. He immediately saw a pair of chocolate brown eyes and a mass of blonde hair. Before his eyes could focus, he thought Isabella had crossed the hallway into the bedroom he and Jamie were residing in.

But as his eyes focussed, he realised that it was Annaliese who was standing before him. As he sat up in bed, he noticed that her parents, Jane and Julian, were standing in the doorway.

"Isabella wants to speak with you," she said quietly. "Both of you," she added, nodding to the sleeping toddler beside him.

"Are you alright?" asked Luke softly. Annaliese certainly looked unsettled. It had to be very uncomfortable for her to be around her parents after their long estrangement. He felt a little guilty for it. He was the reason they had returned, after all.

"Isabella does not know what they put us through," whispered Annaliese. "Married me off, and they would have done the same to her were it not for me. I am sure she must think me very bitter and petty," she worried, "but she does not understand."

Luke took Annaliese's hand and squeezed it. "I am grateful to your mother for the service she has done me, but I do not forget, and I will ensure that Isabella understands who it was that was always there for her."

Annaliese smiled gratefully. "Thank you," she said sincerely at a normal volume. "Come on, Mother, Father. Let us go and see if they have any tea in this building," she muttered and they departed.

Luke quickly pulled on his trousers and slipped a shirt on over his head before waking Jamie. "Come on. Mama wants to see us." Luke scooped Jamie up into his arms and carried him on his hip as they walked across the hallway.

Luke knocked three times on Isabella's door before hearing a soft, "Come in."

As soon as Luke entered Isabella's room, she awkwardly climbed out of bed and straightened her nightgown nervously. She then tucked a tendril of blonde hair behind her ear before pulling on her sleeves anxiously.

She was beautiful, nerves and all.

"How are you?" she asked, her voice cracking.

Luke grinned. He enjoyed making her nervous. It was better than making her angry. "Fine," he replied. "How are you?"

"To be honest, a little shocked," she replied. Isabella made her way around her bed carefully; she was still a little uneasy on her feet.

"Shocked?" he repeated.

Her brown eyes settled on Jamie, who was still half asleep on Luke's shoulder. The expression on her face was much different to the last time she had seen him. Isabella looked ... concerned. She looked as though she had been worrying about him, and he could swear that he saw relief in her eyes. Luke saw her arms lift ever so slightly, before she let them fall back to her sides.

"Do you want to hold him?" he asked.

Isabella nodded nervously.

Luke smiled. Had she had an epiphany? Then he had a thought. Did she remember Jamie? Did she remember him?

"He is heavier than he looks," Luke warned, "takes after his Mama in that respect," he added teasingly.

Isabella clearly did not take it humorously, as he eyes widened and her head turned towards her mirror. She turned her torso to inspect herself.

"It was a joke, a stupid joke," he quickly clarified.

"Oh." Isabella blushed.

"Wake up, champ." Luke stirred Jamie. "Do you want a cuddle with Mama?"

Jamie lethargically reached out for Isabella. It was then clear to Luke that Isabella did not yet remember, as she took a deep breath and placed her shaking hands underneath Jamie's arms. It was her first time holding Jamie ... that she could remember.

As soon as Luke released Jamie's weight, he regretted it. Isabella had no strength and Jamie was dead weight. She became hysterical as she started to drop him, and Jamie became fully aware. Luke quickly caught him and helped him to land softly on his feet.

Isabella clapped her hands over her mouth. "Oh, I am sorry. I am so sorry!"

"Do not fret. Jamie is tough." Unbelievably so. "Let us sit down," he suggested.

Isabella sat down on the edge of the bed and Luke followed suit, placing Jamie on her lap. Jamie was not at all startled, but instead shifted on Isabella's lap so that he was facing her. He then wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her chest. His blue eyes were still tired, and his eyelids fluttered.

Isabella looked stiff and surprised ... but happy. She gently placed a hand on his back, securing him, while the other floated to his head. Her dainty fingers started to comb through his hair.

"You are a natural. You always were."

He saw an expression on her face that he had not seen in years. It was joy. She looked at Jamie with pure joy on her face. Her smile lit up her pale face, and there were obvious tears gathering in her eyes.

Isabella stared at Jamie for a good five minutes before she spoke. "Is he alright?" she asked.

"If it makes you feel any better, Matthew dropped Georgiana once when she was about two or three. It was an accident, and he felt awful, but she popped right up and waddled off." Luke then realised that she might not know who he was talking about. "I have dropped Jamie as well." Of course, that had ended with stitches.

"No, I meant after what he has been through. My mother ... she told me what happened."

Luke stifled a groan. How long had Jane been in the room? Luke had planned on breaking that news to Isabella very gently, and certainly not the day after she learned that she had a son.

"He is a lot better. The doctor in London thought he was underweight, but he has been eating normally, and he has not been ill since," Luke informed her quietly. "We are blessed with a healthy and happy child, Isabella, unchanged after what he has endured."

"I cannot imagine," Isabella whispered. "How can something so small be so resilient?"

"Because he has you for a mother," Luke replied honestly.

Isabella smiled. "I hope you are right. When my mother told me what happened, I felt so ill. Every fibre of my being just wanted to hold him." She tightened her arms around him. "He is my baby, after all. I can feel it."

"I am glad."

"And you?" she prompted, arching her eyebrows.

"What about me?"

Isabella sighed. "One of my first thoughts when I learned we were husband and wife was why were you not at my bedside? Maybe we were estranged. Maybe we were not in love with each other."

"Isabella, I –"

"But you were in London, risking your life, just so you could tell me that you had done everything in your power to find Jamie."

She knew about the surgery. How had Jane managed to spit out this much information so quickly?

"Is that the sort of person I am? If I had woken up with all my memories, and you had not had the surgery, would I have been upset?"

"No," Luke replied honestly. "You probably should be, but you would not be upset with me. No matter what I put you through, you were, are, always on my side." He took a deep breath. "I sat in that chair for weeks," he said, gesturing to the chair beside her bed. "I held your hand, I prayed into the darkness, and willed you to wake up. Of course, it was always darkness for me. I was blind." Isabella listened patiently. "We had spoken about the surgery briefly before ..." Before he was stabbed, before she was pushed down the stairs, before Jamie had been snatched, "everything happened. I was never permanently blind. Mary led me to believe I was. But there was a surgery that my doctor in London was willing to perform. It was dangerous, and there was every chance of rendering me permanently blind, but it was something we were going to discuss.

"But as I sat here, day after day, waiting on the few and far between letters that we received with news, I could not stand it. My son was out there, in the hands of a mad woman, and I was doing nothing about it."

"You were blind," said Isabella softly.

"But I did not have to be," he replied. "I knew you never would have hated me, or resented me, your heart is too good, but I knew I could never again look you in the eye, look Jamie in the eye, if I did not do everything in my power to find him. And so I had the surgery. Not to have it would have been cowardly. While I was recovering, I heard the voice of a woman I recognised."

"My mother told me about the moment you saw Jamie. She described it as you seeing the light for the first time," Isabella said fondly. "I think I understand the feeling."

"It was like he was the sun, and it was my purpose to revolve around him," Luke said simply.

"That is a very accurate observation," Isabella concurred. "You had the surgery because you thought it your duty, your responsibility, to do whatever you could to help find Jamie."

"Yes. I could not have him thinking as though his father would not do anything for him. I would give my life for him, Isabella. I would give my life for both of you."

Isabella smiled at him. To him, it looked like her smile. Her real smile, the one he always pictured while reading her letters while he was away at sea. "I believe you." Isabella exhaled peacefully. "I think ... I think I judged you too quickly, Luke. I blamed you before I knew you."

"You should blame me," he insisted before she hushed him.

"You have done wrong, but what happened to me was not your fault."

"If I had never taken on Mary as my nurse, none of this would have happened. If I had only listened to you instead of listening to my pride ..."

"Your pride?" she repeated.

"Yes, my pride." Luke shook his head in shame. "When we met, I was a naval captain. I was good looking and I knew it," he rolled his eyes, "I was brave, wealthy, and a good leader. And I was lucky enough to have the heart of the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on." Isabella's cheeks immediately reddened. "That was how I left you. I went away to war a hero, and I came back a cripple. I was vulnerable and embarrassed, and I did not want to have my wife, who deserved a lot better than me, nurse me."

"But I would have?" Isabella guessed.

"With bells on," replied Luke simply. "But I did not want you to see me like that, and so I relied on Mary when I should have relied on you."

"It seems that Mary was able to fool a lot of people," Isabella surmised.

"Not you," replied Luke, shaking his head.

"But she hurt you," Isabella's voice cracked. "When she hurt me, she hurt you, and I did not know."

Christ, had Jane written Isabella a pamphlet of the goings on of the last few months when he was not looking?

"I blamed you for my condition when you were hurt, too." Isabella pursed her lips as he brown eyes filled up with tears once again.

Luke absentmindedly lifted his hand to his lower abdomen, the site where Mary had plunged a knife. "Not severely. I lost a little blood. That is all." Enough to warrant a transfusion from his brother, but Isabella need not know that.

"Let me see," insisted Isabella.

Reluctantly, Luke lifted his shirt to show her the pink, five inch scar that was left behind by the blade, and then the scalpels used to mend his insides. The scar was quite neat, and it was healed, but it was the most evident wound on his body. Of course, as a soldier, he was littered with little scars from nicks from all sorts of blades and shrapnel, but this was his largest wound.

Isabella's hand left Jamie's head and Luke watched as she reached out to touch him. As soon as the pad of her fingertip came into contact with his abdomen, a shiver rushed down his spine. Isabella ran her index finger over the pink scar very softly. The sensation gave him goose pimples, and the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up.

"You are so loved, Isabella," Luke said softly. Isabella's eyes shone. "Such terrible things have happened to you, but you have made it through. Jamie loves you unconditionally. You are his mother, his whole world. My family love you. Your sisters, Annaliese, she adores you. She has protected you your whole life."

"Protected me from what?"

"It is a story for another time, but trust me. There is a reason for the animosity towards your parents."

Isabella nodded. She trusted him. "And you?" she asked.

Luke grinned. He had already told her that he loved her, but he liked that she wanted to hear it again. He needed to tell her more often. He needed to tell her every day. If this experience had taught him anything, it was that one's days with their loved ones could end at any time. "I love you," he told her sincerely.

Isabella smiled warmly. "And I love you?" she asked.

One day that statement would not be a question. Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise. How many men had the opportunity to court their wives twice? To earn the love of their wives twice?

"You will," he promised her.

"I think I will, too." She smiled bashfully and turned her eyes back to Jamie. Jamie was fast asleep against Isabella's chest, slowly dribbling on her nightdress. "I think I would like to go home now. I do not remember my life, but I would like to live it anyway."

"I will go and speak to Doctor Whitney, then," Luke decided. "I think we are all ready to return to Somerset."

"Somerset. That is where we live?"

"Yes," confirmed Luke. For the time being, that was where they would live. Luke had never told Isabella about the manor house he had purchased for them. It had been a quick sale that his bank had organised for him while he had been away. It had lots of bedrooms for their future family, and a hundred acres of good farming land.

It was meant to be a surprise for her, for when he returned home, but he never could have predicted what would happen.

Perhaps this could be the new beginning that they needed.

Luke took a chance and leant down, pressing his lips to Isabella's forehead. "I will be back soon," he promised.

Isabella merely smiled and continued to gaze down at Jamie.

It would all be alright. Luke smiled to himself as he closed Isabella's door. A fresh start was what they needed.

As he walked down the hall, he spotted a nurse carrying a breakfast tray. She was quite small in stature, and had a worried expression on her young face. Her hair was mousy brown, and was pulled back into a neat bun, and her hazel eyes were fixed an intense.

She must have a busy day ahead of her, Luke presumed. "Is that tray for Mrs Cassidy?" he asked.

The nurse nearly jumped out of her skin, and she narrowly managed to save the breakfast tray from spilling everywhere.

"Oh, I am terribly sorry," he apologised.

The nurse did not speak as she stared at him. Her gaze was strange and intense, and she cocked her head to the side. It was almost as if she knew him. But he had never seen her before in his life.

"Is that Mrs Cassidy's breakfast?" he asked again.

The nurse nodded, but did not speak. Was this woman mute?

"That door there, on the right," he instructed. The nurse quickly hurried past him. "Strange," he muttered to himself as he set off in search of Doctor Whitney.

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Guess whooooooooo.

I wanted to finish this last night but was slightly distracted by one of the greatest tennis matches I have ever watched!!

Who watched Nadal vs Dimitrov last night? I was on the edge of my seat for 4 and a half hours! I love Nadal so much!

And now we have the dream Aus Open final tomorrow night!! Nadal vs Federer - one last time! Who will be watching? I have work Monday morning but I am so pumped for this match!!

I love tennis. And any sport really. Except for rugby and Grid Iron. Don't know the rules so can't get into them :P

I was at work on Thursday (Australia Day yay!! So got paid $53 an hour for public holiday pay boooo yahhh) and I noticed that my nail polish on my toe had chipped. I get my fingernails done every few weeks as I get SNS but I flatly refuse to pay $23 to have my toes painted when I can do it myself for free lol. Which only means they chip a lot. Anyways, so I had this massive ugly chip and I had a brain wave.

I literally crouched down behind the counter with a Sharpie and coloured my toe in. I was just laughing at myself. Has anyone every done that?

Then on Friday I realised just how obsessed with makeup I am. I was using a pink neon highlighter pen at work to highlight the book for the upcoming week and it was running out, and I seriously said to myself, "Oh my god, this highlighter has no pigmentation." I have a problem.

My resolution of not spending any money on makeup has also gone out the door. Tarte Cosmetics had a 26% of everything sale for Australia Day (Thanks Tarte!) so I ordered two palettes. I have a serious problem.

Anyways, it is 3:18am and I have been writing for about 6 hours so I need to get to sleep!!

Night everyone xx